We Can Be Heroes
“We Can Be Heroes”
by Donny’s Boy
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Synopsis: Everyone needs a hero. Even heroes. Especially heroes.
A filly Fluttershy and filly Dash story.
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“Though nothing will drive them away,
We can beat them, just for one day.
We can be heroes, just for one day.”
--David Bowie, “Heroes”
Over and over and over the young pony had been told by the adults in her life that the bullies would leave her alone if she just ignored them. That the bullies would eventually grow bored and go away. That patience and turning the other cheek would eventually win the day.
All those adults had lied.
The little pegasus filly reflected on this unfortunate truth as she hunkered down under her spread wings and tried to shield her head from the avalanche of kicks that rained down from above. She buried her muzzle into the soft, fluffy cloud beneath her and clamped shut her eyes. Usually they’d go away in a few minutes, if she could just stop herself from making any sounds or from moving too much. She didn’t really know why, but they seemed to think it was funny whenever she moved or spoke.
Slowly, carefully, she began counting in her head. Counting helped. Counting gave her something to focus on.
One.
A hoof slammed into her side.
Two.
She felt the breath get knocked right out of her lungs.
Three.
A particular well-placed kick caught her on the jaw.
Four.
She could taste blood in her mouth, thick and metallic.
Five.
“Stop that!”
And then, miraculously, the kicking stopped.
“It’s not very nice to pick on a pony who’s smaller than you, you know.”
Cautiously, Rainbow Dash cracked open an eye. Not six feet in front of her stood another pegasus filly, larger than she herself was, with her legs splayed out in a wide stance and looking for all the world like a small yellow Colossus. Her eyes blazed with a strange, calm intensity, a look that cut right to the bone and caused Rainbow to feel cold deep down inside.
The three older ponies who’d been kicking Dash, all colts and all larger than the newly-arrived filly, froze in the icy grip of that strange stare. The moment stretched out like an impossibly elastic rubber band, pulling tighter and tighter, so tight that Rainbow almost couldn’t breathe, and then … the filly blinked.
Just like that, the spell was broken. As one the colts started towards the intruder, and the filly shrank away from them. But that sense of calm never left her huge, teal eyes, not even when the colts were right on top of her, not even when the filly fell to their blows. The filly who’d cared about Rainbow. The filly who’d stopped them from beating up on Rainbow. The filly who was Rainbow’s friend.
No. The word rang in her mind like a gunshot. No!
And, just like that, Rainbow Dash felt an explosion right in the center of her chest--an explosion of rage and power and razor-focused determination.
She pushed herself up to her hooves, despite her aching body and trembling muscles, and without thinking launched herself forward. She kicked and punched and bit with savage ferocity, catching the colts off-guard and sending them scrambling backwards. Though the colts were bigger, she quickly found that she was far, far faster--and though she took more than her share of blows, soon enough the three colts were sent packing, flying off while shouting sullen taunts over their shoulders.
Rainbow Dash just stood there and watched them leave. She could still taste the blood in her mouth, but it tasted a little less metallic now. A little bit sweeter. Once the colts were but specks in the distance, she turned around and looked directly at the filly who’d remained perfectly motionless during the entire ordeal. Her long, pink mane was all disheveled, and she had the beginning of what would surely be a very black eye.
The cloud they shared was small, and it didn’t take long for Dash to head across to where the other filly lay, shivering and shaking. Those teal eyes, which had been so intense and so strange just moments before, now looked blank and empty. The hustle and bustle of the surrounding Cloudsdale--huge, sprawling, chaotic Cloudsdale--faded to an indistinct muttering, and all Dash could hear was the thundering of her own heart and the soft, wheezing breaths from the yellow pegasus. She leaned down to bump noses with her new friend.
“I saved you,” declared Rainbow, in a tone of mingled awe and pride. “I … I totally just saved you from those bullies. I mean, you kinda saved me first, but still! I saved you back, and I saved you last!”
The teal-eyed filly flinched, ever so slightly. After a moment’s pause, she quietly whispered, “You’re not going to beat me up, too, are you?”
Dash’s jaw dropped. “What? ‘Course not! Superheroes only beat up bad guys, not damsels in distress. Don’t you know that?”
“So, you’re … you’re a superhero?”
Rainbow had thought such a thing would be obvious, but apparently not. She’d just taken on three colts and won, hadn’t she? If that wasn’t heroic, what was?
“Heck, yeah, I’m a superhero!” She grinned broadly, but a second later, her mouth dropped into a thoughtful frown. “I mean, kinda. Well, I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt someday, and that’s pretty much the same thing as being a hero.”
“Oh. I see. I mean, um, I think I see?”
Dash gave a nod in response and, glad that the matter had finally been settled, began trotting off. After only a few feet, she paused and glanced back to see that the other filly hadn’t budged an inch. “Hey, c’mon!” she shouted, in a slightly irritated tone. “Let’s go!”
“Um, excuse me for asking, but … where exactly are we going?”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Uh, duh. If I’m gonna be an awesome superhero, I’m gonna need a sidekick, aren’t I?”
The other pony tilted her head, as though confused. She just stared at Dash in silence, remaining stock still, biting her lower lip. Dash began to wonder if maybe those colts had managed to kick this weird pony’s head just a little too hard. But just as Dash was about to turn around and leave without her, the filly shakily rose to her feet.
“You make me feel not so scared.” The filly’s eyes were as intense as they had been when she’d been facing down the colts. “You make me feel safe.”
Rainbow shot her a smug grin. “You’re totally safe, as long as you’re with me. Nopony hurts Rainbow Dash’s friends and gets away with it!”
“We’re friends?”
“Well, yeah. Of course we’re friends.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. Seriously, just how dumb was this pony? Then, something occurred to her. “Oh, hey, what’s your name, anyways?”
Slowly the other filly smiled. In a loud, clear voice, she replied, “Fluttershy. My name is Fluttershy.”
========================================================
Sidekicks, as Fluttershy soon discovered, spent a lot of time cheering on their heroes. And occasionally getting pinned by their heroes during training practice sessions with indistinct goals that somehow, invariably, involved pinning aforementioned sidekicks while shouting war cries. Fluttershy liked the cheering just fine, but she wasn’t as sure about the getting pinned--until she stumbled across the discovery that Rainbow Dash was ticklish on the bottom of her hooves. Getting pinned wasn’t so bad after that.
Rainbow had taken them to somewhere just outside the city limits, a patch of clouds that floated higher than most of the ones that comprised Cloudsdale. Her secret place, she’d called it. A place where other ponies wouldn’t be able to find or bother them. Fluttershy hadn’t been too keen on the height, but the quiet and solitude had more than made up for the acrophobia.
Towards the end of their day of adventures, just as the moon started creeping above the horizon far below them, they laid together on the clouds. Fluttershy rested on her side, exhausted and aching, while Rainbow sprawled on top of her, panting heavily.
As they laid there, spent but happy, Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice just how long ago it had been since the sun had set. “I think it’s after curfew,” she murmured, her ears going flat against her head.
“Yeah. Probably gonna get in trouble.” Rainbow huffed and, as she did, Fluttershy could feel the rise and fall of the smaller filly’s chest. “That’ll be the third time this month. Ugh!”
“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.”
“Huh? Why are you sorry? I’m the one who said we should go play.”
Fluttershy smiled as she stared out at the darkened sky beyond the clouds, at the soft light of the moon. “It’s okay. Besides, it’s very pretty at night.”
“Pretty is boring,” grumbled Dash, without sounding particularly angry. There followed a slight pause, in which the small blue pegasus adopted a thoughtful expression. “Say, can you teach me that stare thingie you did to the bullies? That was pretty neat.”
Fluttershy frowned. “Um, what stare thingie?”
“Y’know! What you did to those stupid colts!” Dash grinned down at her and wriggled around a bit in excitement. “You had this really intense look in your eyes, and they just totally froze up. It was awesome!”
“Oh. I … I hadn’t noticed. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Still grinning, Dash rested her chin on Fluttershy’s chest. “Well, you should do it more often! I bet you could scare just about anypony or anything with a stare like that.”
Fluttershy really wasn’t at all sure about that. Scaring ponies was mean, and Fluttershy didn’t like being mean. It had been different with the colts--they’d been hurting the little blue-coated filly who now laid atop her, and that had been even meaner than scaring a pony. As much as she hated to admit it, Fluttershy knew that sometimes a pony had to go with the lesser of two evils. But that didn’t mean she should go around scaring ponies for no good reason at all.
She couldn’t quite bring herself to tell all of that to Rainbow Dash, though. The other pony was still grinning down at her, her pink eyes practically glowing with delight and amazement, and Fluttershy didn’t want her new friend to stop looking at her like that. To stop looking at her as though she was something amazing, as though she was something worth looking at.
So instead of replying, Fluttershy simply leaned forward and licked at a patch of dried blood on Rainbow’s muzzle. The blue pegasus grumbled a bit in response but remained obediently still as Fluttershy cleaned her up. After the larger pony had finished her work, Rainbow Dash shook her head, the way a dog would after getting bathed. Her multi-colored mane looked almost ghostly under the moonlight.
It really was a beautiful night. Fluttershy tried not to think about how late it was, but the more she tried not to think about it, the more those exact same thoughts pushed to the forefront of her mind. The problem was, she didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to go back. She wanted to stay here, right here, until the end of time. With the clouds so soft beneath her, with Rainbow Dash so warm on top of her, with the moon smiling down on them. She wanted this perfect, beautiful moment to last forever, and she knew it wouldn’t. It couldn’t.
Nothing good ever lasted forever.
But perhaps ... perhaps there could be other moments.
Perhaps, unlike so many other things in her life, this could be a beginning instead of an ending.
=======================================================
Fluttershy was being quiet. Too quiet.
Though, really, any amount of quiet was too quiet for Rainbow Dash. Quiet never meant anything good. Things always got really quiet right before the bullies got the jump on her. Things always were so deathly quiet in her dreams, as she found herself flying down endless maze-like hallways, searching in vain for ponies who were never there. And grown-up ponies always got so very, very quiet right before they would make her sit down and tell her bad news.
So Rainbow decided it was high time to break the silence, and she blurted out the first thing that popped into her head. “So what’s your costume gonna be for Nightmare Night tomorrow?” She paused and frowned. “I mean, assuming we’re not grounded for missing curfew and all …”
Fluttershy glanced away. “Oh. Um. I … I don’t have a costume. I actually don’t really celebrate Nightmare Night.”
“You don’t … celebrate …” Rainbow Dash blinked dumbly for a few moments. “How can you not celebrate Nightmare Night? It’s, like, the best holiday ever!”
“It’s kind of scary.”
With a mighty and derisive snort, Dash retorted, “Uh, yeah! That’s the whole point. That’s why it’s awesome.”
“I guess so.” Fluttershy bit her lower lip before suddenly brightening. “Oh! What’s your costume going to be, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow rolled off top of her friend and landed onto the cushy clouds on her hooves, with her head held low and her wings spread wide. Then, she leapt into the air and did a few quick loop-de-loops, before touching down a few feet away from Fluttershy.
Beaming, she declared, “I’m gonna be a Wonderbolt, of course!”
A soft smile graced Fluttershy’s face. “Oh, that sounds lovely. I bet you’ll be the best Wonderbolt ever.”
“Yeah. Yeah!” Rainbow nodded happily in agreement. “I’ll be such a great Wonderbolt that I … um … that I … that I could win against Nightmare Moon herself!”
This answer earned Dash a very loud and very satisfying gasp from her friend.
“D-D-Don’t say things like that!” Fluttershy scrambled to her hooves and looked from left to right, as though she expected the infamous Mare of Darkness to materialize out of thin air. “She might hear you, Rainbow!”
“Aw, c’mon! It’s not like Nightmare Moon is real. You’re older ‘n me, and I’m already way too old to believe in make-believe stuff like Nightmare Moon.” Dash cocked her head and gave her wings a rustle. “Besides, with you as my sidekick? We could totally kick her silly, skinny, totally-not-scary flank.”
Fluttershy’s brow furrowed, and she glanced down at her hooves. “Do you … do you really think that?”
Rainbow Dash hesitated. There was something in the other pony’s voice--a tone, some sort of emotion that Dash couldn’t quite identify … She wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, only that it demanded her attention. She cantered over to where her friend stood and bumped her shoulder against the older pony’s.
“You better believe I really think that,” Rainbow said with a decisive nod of her head, leaning in and enjoying the warmth of Fluttershy’s fur against her own. “I mean, you and me totally faced down three huge colts today! Stick with me, ‘Shy, and there’s nothing we can’t do!”
Fluttershy tentatively lifted her head. “You know, you just might be right about that.”
“I’m always right!”
Flush with victory, the small blue pegasus let out a happy laugh and tackled her companion. They tumbled end over end over the clouds, with Fluttershy squeaking and Rainbow whooping loudly, until they landed against a tall bank of cloud-stuff. Dash found herself pinned underneath Fluttershy and squirmed a bit in a futile attempt to free herself from the larger pony. Giving up, she laid back against the clouds and let out another happy, ragged laugh.
Fluttershy’s eyes shimmered like the lakes and streams that glistened so very far below them.
After the laughter finally drained away, Rainbow reached out with a hoof and poked Fluttershy in the side. “You should still teach me how you did that staring stuff. I bet I’d be the bravest pony in all Equestria if I could do the staring thingie.”
The yellow pegasus just smiled. “You’re a very strange pony, Rainbow Dash.”
“I am?”
“You are.”
“But that’s okay, right? I mean …” Rainbow swallowed over a sudden lump in her throat. “... you still like me, right?”
“Yes.” Fluttershy giggled and gave Dash’s nose a brief lick. “I like you very, very much.”
Dash let out her breath, relieved. “Good! ‘Cause I like you too. And we’re gonna be best friends.” She paused and squinted at the other pegasus, reconsidering. “Best friends forever.”
“Best friends,” Fluttershy repeated, as though the words sounded foreign to her ears. “That sounds … nice.”
It was at that exact moment that Rainbow Dash’s stomach gave a long, loud growl, loud enough that Fluttershy jumped back in surprise. Then, both of the fillies burst into giggles.
“You sound as though you’re very hungry,” said Fluttershy, smiling gently. “I think we should go back.”
Rainbow sighed but dutifully got back on her feet. “Yeah, I guess so. We’re probably in more than enough trouble as it is--would be worse if we stayed out all night.”
Together the two pegasi hopped from cloud to cloud, gliding over the longer distances, until they reached the large cloud-building where they both had began their day. Where Fluttershy had found her courage and where Rainbow Dash had found her fight. Still giggling to one another, they trotted through the door that sat beneath a sign that read, in large block lettering, “Cloudsdale Orphanage.”
They were grounded for an entire week, for missing curfew. Which meant no Nightmare Night. No Wonderbolts costume. No candy.
Rainbow Dash tried very hard to care and to muster up some appropriate outrage, but she didn’t have much success. She complained bitterly about the punishment, of course, but her heart wasn’t really in it. Instead of sulking about the grounding--and after eating a late dinner of cold leftovers--she willingly went to her tiny bedroom and crawled under the covers of her lumpy cot. Sleepily she poked at her already-thickening lip and enjoyed the small jabs of dull pain that every poke produced.
Pain was good. Pain meant you were still alive.
The moonlight streamed in from the bedroom window, casting shadows against the wall. They reminded her of all those foalhood stories she’d heard about Nightmare Moon, and she grinned in the dark.
She wasn’t scared of Nightmare Moon. Or those stupid bullies. Or … or anything else, really.
She was a hero, now, a real hero with a real sidekick, and heroes didn’t get scared. Heroes didn’t have to be scared.
She didn’t have to be scared.
She wasn’t scared.
With that realization floating through her exhaustion-addled brain, Rainbow Dash finally fell asleep. She didn’t dream of flying down endless hallways, narrow and dark, looking for ponies who were never there. Instead, she dreamt of soaring high in a perfect, blue sky, feeling the warmth on her back from the bright yellow sun above her and gazing down at the shining lakes below her, with turquoise waters that rippled gently in time with the summer’s breeze.
Everything was happy and everything was warm, and nothing was scary at all.
It was … nice.
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Author’s Notes: This was written in response to a request from Professor Piggy, who is generally amazing and writes the best Fluttershy I’ve ever read, for a story about ‘Shy and Dash as fillies. Hopefully I did not disappoint.
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This is very, very cute. Dash drawing strength from Fluttershy is lovely. The bit about bullies leaving you alone and her conclusion does really seem to mesh with her canon, take everything head on approach.
But GOD she must have been disappointed in 'Shy after Iron Will showed up D:
a pretty sweet story
think I might need some insulin after all
Just for onnnneeee daaayyyyyyyy.
EDIT: Just read it. Very cute story. Actually, super cute. Paired with some good piano music and this was one of the best and cutest stories I have ever read. Aghhhh I need a bigger vocab to describe exactly how I feel about this story. Damn.... someone, quick! Tell me some words that are in relation to 'heartwarming', 'cute', and 'amazing'.
d'awww; i loved this story very much
Awesome story!
I have to confess I spent half of this going "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
I think it's an ingrained response to all Donny's Boy stories, haha.
I enjoyed this, for having written a short one shot dealing with bullying and themes included myself, I always love to see authors whom I love exploring it. This was completely adorable!
licked her nose? SHIPPING filley flutterdash
Nice story; probably the best take I've ever seen on how Rainbow and Fluttershy met and became friends. Had to love Rainbow's "I'm a superhero, so obviously you must be my sidekick" line of thinking.
Also have to agree with Mystic that it was hard not to be a touch tempted to see the fic turn shippy, even if everyone knows that RainbowPie is the best ship..
That was cute. Seemed a bit borderline shippy to me, but that's probably because I've likely been corrupted from reading too many shipping stories. If I was unaware of what shipping was, I'm sure those slightly shippy scenes would seem as fully innocent as they are meant to be.
Filly Flutterdash friendshipping is about as good as it gets. This fic was full of adorable.
I have the dumbest grin plastered on my face
I deeply loved this. It made me think back to last year when I got bullied, but no one helped me. I always loved the idea that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash became friends because they helped eachother during tough times.
Get all the cavities!
I love filly Dash and Fluttershy. Not too keen on the orphanage part, though. But this was cute. They're just so perfect together.
No probs here.
The borderline shipping was a little awkward, yet overall this was pretty cute. Good prose and a good premise. Nice work.
I don't read a lot of fanfiction but when I do, I always seem to sort of stumble on little works of magic like this. This was really really amazing. Take a thumbs-up and a place in my favorites. This was just amazing.
If this doesn't make the featured box I will be sad and disappointed because this story deserves it. It truly does. Good work.
Awww! This was so sweet! Not only am I a FlutterDash shipper (hee...), but I also still enjoy stories with them as best friends, especially during their filly days! And this just delivered. I loved the friendship between them, and how Rainbow Dash just seemed to draw a warm strength from Fluttershy. It's really sweet, and it shows how much they both really do need each other.
It's great to see stories about them as fillies, to showcase their friendship and how far back they go. It's wonderful!
Oh Donny's Boy, you are a champion of all things flighted and adorable.
Filly Flutterdash Friendshipping just isn't done often enough.
The other big thing here for me is the orphanage. This has been a pet theory of mine for as long as I've been watching the show. It's nice to see I'm not the only one who thinks this might be the case.
This is just too cute. Thank you.
I really can't decide how I feel about the orphanage... but I love the tenderness between Rainbow and Fluttershy. In my personal canon, the two of them have a romantic friendship -- a very close, loving friendship, but still a friendship rather than actually being a couple as such. And this story fits so well with that.
...Damn it. Only you, Donny's Boy. My headcanon is that Dash's best friend is Pinkie, but now you're making me have second thoughts! Can ponies have more than one best friend? If they can, then the ponies aren't really their best friend, but their 'equally-as-good-as-my-other-good-friend(s)'? I digress. I used to not really see the friendship between these two(Dragonshy had Dash as kinda a meanypants to Flutters and soured my opinion of their friendship for a while), but then Hurricane Fluttershy fixed it up and these two should be really close. This does feel like how their friendship naturally developed, better than assuming their first meeting was the Cutie Mark Chronicles.
In particular, I loved the beginning, the reversal of roles. Dash being afraid to act or speak out, being meek and afraid, then Fluttershy being the hero. And I love that seeing the pony who had helped her being attacked awakened her courage. She is the Element of Loyalty after all, and the biggest moments, the biggest changes of her life happen because of that loyalty. She rejected the Shadowbolts and gained six friends who would change her life for the better. Her first Rainboom was defending Fluttershy's honor, and the second was saving Rarity's life, forgetting about the glory. And the catalyst of all those events, the moment that would have a domino effect leading to the day they got their Cutie Marks to the Summer Sun Festival, was loyalty to the pony who stood up for her. Love it.
I loved it just for that moment when I realized that the filly getting kicked around at the beginning was Rainbow for a change. Beautiful story.
Oh I loved every sweet second of this. I was actually thinking about doing a story with these two in their filly days and then I happened upon this and it totally made me want to write my own more. Instantly added to my favorites, and the first story in there since I'm a newbie. Anyway, Loved it! Wonderful job.
Awwwwwwwwww!!!
That's all I gotta say! I definitely enjoyed it
Too tired to do any major critical review.
I don't always read non-shipping fics with Fluttershy and Dash
but when i do i secretly wish fir them to ship throughout the whole thing.
Nicely done once again, I detected just a little something more than friendshipping here. Something that might develop later. I smell sequel.
Rainbow Dash claims that, with Fluttershy at her side, they could take on Nightmare Moon.
Years later, Nightmare Moon shows up.
Fluttershy is still at Rainbow Dash's side.
They beat Nightmare Moon.
I came for the David Bowie-referencing title, I stayed for that sweet-as-hell story.
Yay! I can't tell you how much I was looking forward to this. I've been trying to figure out what you'd do with it since you told me you were writing it. I was expecting it to be awesome, because all your stuff is awesome, but this is wonderful beyond even what I thought it would be.
Your take on filly Rainbow Dash is the single most adorable thing I have ever read, without any question or doubt. The very start of this story is both powerful and heartbroken, and it feels so right - Dash not fighting for herself, just accepting it because as she sees it she has no reason to fight and can't win. It's devastating, And to see that change when she suddenly has just one person who cares about her, one person she can protect is just beautiful - I don't even have words for how much awesome was condensed into that, and how happy it made me, well at the same time being a gut punch because it took that to make her really care. And I think her own words are the best I have for describing her: She's a tiny little superhero, and nopony in their right mind is going to stand in her way.
I adore this idea - she's so...I don't even know the word. Childish? Excitable? Hyperactive and ridiculous, well at the same time feeling very real and very, very Dash - reading this I have no doubt this is exactly how she was back then. And she never let go of that one thing, that one spark she had - it's the center of her life and always has been. I love everything about this story, DB, but let it be said that you've completely redefined how I view little Dash and I thank you for it.
I think, despite everything, my favourite moment in this story was that flash of insecure terror when she thought Shy didn't like her.
And 'Shy...I love 'Shy here. She's amazing on so many levels - but it's her "I feel safe with you" to Dash that broke my heart. I was actually sitting here for a moment just staring at it trying to figure out what to say. What it meant. It's so simple, and yet she says, and you just know that she's never felt safe like that before. Or at least, not for a very long time. It colours the rest of their interactions beautifully - I love the pure joy Shy takes from just being around Dash, like she's on top of the world. It's just...this is one of the most beautiful and wonderful things i've ever read. I love everything about Shy in it, and I think you did a better job than I did by a lot.
And it's funny, too. The foreshadowing with Nightmare Moon was just perfect - and it makes me feel good, to know she's right.
I can honestly say I never expected the orphanage. I'd never even considered that possibility, but it really does make sense. And suddenly, where the story was heartbreaking before it's now so much more so. It was a huge twist, to me - i'm not sure it was for everyone, but it completely threw me for a loop. And I think it may just be my new headcanon.
If this comment was a bit disoriented, i'm sorry. I'm absolutely exhausted - so let me reiterate that this is one of the best stories I have ever read. You could never write anything I didn't love, but you've absolutely blown me away with this. Thank you.
And thank you, also, for the compliment. I'm glad you like my Shy as much as you do.
And you're awesome, too.
Helloooooo. Thanks for all the reviews and the kind words, y'all.
The orphanage thing came up a few times as something folks didn't like or weren't sure about, so if anyone wouldn't mind elaborating, I'd be interested to hear further thoughts on that. (Too cliche? Doesn't fit what we know in canon? Not enough background info? Something else entirely?)
It is fascinating to me that this story is coming across as shippy as it apparently is, because that wasn't intentional on my part. (I'm totally fine with it being read as borderline shippy or proto-romance, by the way.) I figured the nose lick might raise an eyebrow or two, but the rest of it wouldn't. I'd had in mind that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were just laying all over one another the way that puppies do.
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Good to hear it seemed to mesh well with canon! I tried to balance doing something a bit different with keeping everyone in character.
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HA! It is probably my own darn fault, training everyone to expect make-outs in my stories.
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I'm glad you liked it! And I'm sorry no one helped you. Been there, been there, been there.
613441
Oh, thanks so much for the kind words. "Warm strength" is exactly what I was going for, so I'm happy to hear it seemed to come across.
613534
The orphanage part isn't necessarily my head canon, but it struck me as an interesting possibility, given that we haven't seen any indication of family for either Rainbow or Fluttershy (whereas we have with Rarity, Twilight, Pinkie, and AJ).
613556
My head canon for Rainbow and Fluttershy is that their relationship doesn't even fit any definitions, really. They're just ... bonded ... to one another. They love one another. Whether it's friend love or family love or romantic love almost seems secondary. They just ... love.
613569
I always figured that Fluttershy exists in her own, separate category for Rainbow Dash. Like, maybe Pinkie is Dash's best friend, whereas Fluttershy is ... Fluttershy. (And yeah, it's "Hurricane Fluttershy" that cemented this opinion for me, though really all of Season 2 has been a lovely exploration of Rainbow and Fluttershy's relationship with one another.)
I'm glad you liked the reversal! I kinda figured that, for a character like Dash, who is undeniably heroic and undeniably a fighter, maybe she needs someone to be heroic and to fight for.
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Aww, I'm honored to be the first! And yes, by all means, write more filly Fluttershy and filly Rainbow Dash! Never enough.
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I just loved the idea of Fluttershy being the spark for Dash (and, to a lesser extent, vice versa), because Season 2 has convinced me that these two characters have a very special, very deep bond. And I'm so pleased to hear you think I did all right with Fluttershy, 'cause I really do think you've written the best 'Shy I've ever read.
Yay! I'm so, so glad you like it, since I wrote it for you and all.
(Also, glad to hear that the Nightmare Moon stuff didn't come across as too heavy-handed or forced. I was a touch worried that it would.)
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Oooooh, I like that! I also just like the loving relationship. Now all we need is the obligatory Pinkie angst fic where Pinkie's jealous that she'll never be that close to Dash.
Donny's, did you read ever read Wingmares? Just curious.
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What a great comment that was to read! I think you've actually expressed my feelings about Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's closeness better than I did myself. It's one of my favourite aspects of the show itself so far, the way that this has been developed and refined. "May the Best Pet Win!" had two little moments that struck me: the nose-beep Fluttershy gives Rainbow during the song (would Rainbow allow anypony else to do something that cute to her in public? I doubt it) and the way Fluttershy uncharacteristically barges Twilight out of the way in order to look for Dash through the binoculars.
And, as you also mentioned, there's "Hurricane Fluttershy". That's my absolute favourite episode (even ahead of the finale) and this is exactly why. Late on in that episode, when Fluttershy finally joins the tornado, there's a shot of Rainbow at the point she realises that Fluttershy is there. It's only on screen for about two seconds, but the expression of utter and complete joy on Rainbow's face at that moment is something I find unbelievably moving. That episode makes me cry several times -- but that time it's tears of happiness.
Can I just spend a few minutes huggling these two? I promise I'll give them right back, as soon as I collect all my feels back from the heart attack of great.
Seriously, I loved this story. Very well written and sweet on top of it. If I could hit the thumbs up button twice I'd do that and wish I could hit it a third time.
That was so cute!!!!
Well, if that ain't just about the cutest thing Ah've read all month, sugarcube.
Now I have David Bowie stuck in my head. I'm okay with this.
Oh, my...
You certainly did a wonderful piece, author - your prose is great, both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are in-character...
I don't know what to say, so I'm just going to congratulate you.
Thanks to everyone who's left a review since the last time I responded! I always like reading everyone's thoughts on my stories.
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Yes, and I completely adore it. Pretty sure it's in my favorites, though I think I've sadly neglected to leave a review for it.
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I loved that moment in "Hurricane Fluttershy," too. I'd totally missed the nose-beep in "May the Best Pet Win," though--that's adorable and, yes, says a lot about the Dash/'Shy relationship.
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I might submit to EqD--I only submit the stuff that I consider my best, and I like to get some distance from a new story before making that call. Thanks for thinking it's worthy of submission, though.
Oooh, head canon adoption? That's a high compliment if ever there was one. Glad you liked the twist with Dash.
Not being as familiar with Bowie as you are my mind went someplace else with this title at first.
it's a funny coincidence that I mentioned you reminding me of these guys once before:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNrNcwWX6xg
Although, given that they write rock opera tragedies based on megaman, it might not be your cup of tea. I used an AMV because there's no official video for that song.
Excellent story, glad I got around to reading it.
Great story! Love how you don't go into Dash's past but leave enough hints to give a good picture of it and, more importantly, how it affected her.
I liked it well enough but I think it could do with some more substance, it just seemed to short, other than that cool story bro, and you may have a
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623126Imagine my surprise when I see a fic regarding how Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash met at flight camp come up on the front page. Imagine my further surprise when the cover image is an oddly familiar one with four pegasus foals confronting each other in Cloudsdale. I stuck it in my read later tab, unsure of what to expect.
Reading this story was... an experience. And I'm glad I got around to it. I do have reservations concerning the order in which events happened in this fic, as well as how you addressed those events themselves, but something I do like is that you managed to get our two favorite pegasi acquainted with each other in less than 4,000 words. I took like... 20,000, and people are going to read the more precise version every time. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash would also make a kickass superhero duo, too, and I could at least see Dash dragging Fluttershy all around Cloudsdale to go crusading against evil and whatnot.
If you want to hear my thoughts on how you could refine this piece, I'd be happy to lend them to you! Origin stories are always nifty, and I enjoy seeing how other people go about interpreting them.
Well, Kits is a dick for linking me this, because Fluttershy and Dash so much as speaking to one another pretty much makes me lock up - in a dangerously good way. But hey. I survived!
I really liked it. Shy's feelings and reactions towards Dash were spot on, for me, and I can respect the orphanage decision in a short piece like this; it works. Dash's thoughts on Shy were the point here though. As you say, and as you write - her needing something (or somepony) to fight for. The very moment where she turns, basically; a momentuous yet tiny event. You handled that very well, even if I am not completely sure I can get into Dash's feelings for 'Shy in the second half of the fic.
I could go back and try to pinpoint what it is that I'm not 100% sold on, but fact is, it's not critique - it's just me being so out of my element that I struggle to understand how these fics work at times. I have never ever been able to write something that's both short and purposeful, yet you do just that. Hat's off, and all my envy.
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Ha, that is funny. Thanks for the link!
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Thanks for the feedback, y'all! Much obliged.
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I just went to the MLP wiki and grabbed the photo I found of the filly pegasi. It's what I do with almost all my stories--grab a wiki screen-shot that seems vaguely applicable--because I don't have the artistic skills to make my own cover images. I'm sorry that it was uncomfortably familiar to your own cover image. Would you like me to change it?
Also, thanks for the head's up re: the lack of favoriting--that's been remedied.
(Whoops.)
Agreed very much re: origins stories. I enjoy them quite a bit, myself, and I consider "Wingmares" to be pretty much my head canon for how little Dash and little Fluttershy met and became friends.
If you have the time and inclination to elaborate on what could be refined, I'd definitely be interested in hearing your thoughts. I'm always interested in knowing what did and didn't work in a story.
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As always, thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts! I possibly could have expanded the middle portion to link the beginning and ending of the story better and provide for a smoother transition--sorry it didn't quite work.
Funny you mention being envious. Stories of 2k to 7k words are my own element, and I'm envious of people who can write grand, sweeping epics--such as Within and Without, to name one such story just off the top of my head. Which means I should probably try to write more longer stories, stretch the old writer muscles and whatnot.
638317>I'm sorry that it was uncomfortably familiar to your own co--
Save it, brother. I don't own Flutterdash, FiM, or anything like that XD I'm perfectly fine with your cover image as it is -- as if my feelings should have any leverage over how you present your own writing! Heck, it's probably the reason I even noticed this story in the first place.
And -- Wingmares is your headcanon? Consider me honored. I really am :D That said, have some feedback.
I wasn't a fan of the physical violence at the beginning of the piece. We all like Friendship is Magic 'cause it dared to depart from cynicism and bloodshed, so to find such in an otherwise show-toned story introduced a little dissonance in my head. I think it'd be all right for the bullies to push Dash and Fluttershy around, that kind of thing, but in this particular genre, questioning the need for outright fisticuffs is something I'd always recommend.
The overall structure was a bit strange, too -- Fluttershy rushes in to save Dash, which I thought was a lovely role reversal. And then come two sections where the two are already friends and are just hanging out together. This leaves something of an awkwardly long tail to your story. The content of the scenes themselves were fine -- I can buy that Fluttershy and Dash grew up without parents, for instance. But the point of the story had concluded long before that scene. In particular, I would've liked Fluttershy to have more reason to throw herself between the bullies and Rainbow Dash beyond "I just want to protect her." Did something happen to her in the past that caused her to take action now?
I think there was a bit in the second section where Fluttershy licks dried blood off of Dash's muzzle? Where'd that blood come from? Unless I missed something, they were just hanging out and the worst that happened was that Rainbow pinned Fluttershy a couple of times for superhero practice. It seems like it was a holdover from the first section, honestly, and that you just overlooked it. On a related note, I'm not sure about what to think about Fluttershy just cleaning Rainbow Dash by what I assume is licking her all over -- as a filly, no less -- that's pretty intimate. Though I'm hardly one to talk, with writing what Kits calls the "hottest softcore scene ever" and I call a wing massage 8P
Finally, I think there's a story in the "adventures" you glossed over at the beginning of the second paragraph. Make Cloudsdale yours. To inflate my head here, I have Skyhead Falls, Cloudy has The Top. Consider having your Flutterdash stake out a place in Cloudsdale all for themselves.
Hope that helps, and that you feel it's all fair.
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Definitely all fair.
Probably right re: clash between tone of the show and overall tone of this story with the opening scene. I think I'm rather too in love with writing about blood, is the problem (which is weird, and no, I don't know why I am). It's like catnip to me, but restraint is always advisable.
Agree re: joining of the beginning and end (I think an expanded middle section might've addressed that issue) and a bit more explanation/backstory for Fluttershy's motivation. I think the story leaned towards Rainbow getting backstory, though it was supposed to be about both of them.
The blood was from the initial fight, and I'd had the idea that it was simply still there. Though, really, all the tumbling and tussling throughout the afternoon probably resulted in most of the blood getting wiped away. Funny thing about Fluttershy cleaning up Dash--I'd had in mind something akin to a dog cleaning her puppies, something affectionate and tender but non-sexual.
I'm amused by kits' description of the massage scene, by the way. I personally like that scene quite a bit because it reads so ambiguous to me--it COULD just be a purely platonic massage, but it also seems as though it COULD be something more sensual. Mostly, I just liked that Rainbow displayed such trust to let Fluttershy touch and manipulate her beloved wings. Thought that was a nice thing to include in the story.
Anyway, getting back on track ... thanks very much for the critique and suggestions. I really appreciate it.
This is a pretty amazing piece, I'm glad I decided to give it a read.
Oh my god how freakin cute!
I love it!