I'm aware it has some grammatical issues but none that are making it the slightest bit unreadable.
That being said I'd love to know what you guys think about it. It's my first time writing clop but I really like how it turned out.
Aside from some grammar errors, this is really good. Sparity forever!
Not bad for for a first attemp but the whole two dicks is just a little too wierd even for clop
>>595584595584 actually a number of lizards have double phallus apparently. Theirs a few other Spike clop fics that use this little factoid the best of which is probably Like Fine Wine . So yea between that, the tongue, and the fact he has finger/claws its safe to assume Dragons are the single greatest gift Luna has given to mare kind.
>>595581595581 In order to meet my little "out before I surrender my week to Diablo 3" deadline I had to forsake having it proofread.
That being said it took seven and a half hours for this thing to get through submission so I'm assuming their really backed up.
Aww, that is Sooo sweet and Romantic
>>595631595631 That's weird. My new story took only I believe like 30 minutes to an hour to be accepted.
>>595635595635 and kinky!
>>595638595638 my last one did to but apparently they didn't have any mods on till later in the evening yesterday so they had a huge list to go through.
>>595643595643 So what do you plan to go back and edit this story?
I hate Sparity fics, but well, this was quite good.
>>595623595623 I agree completly and thanx for the fact i pride myself on knowing as much about animals as possible and that i truley didnt know... but yea it did add to the clop a bit to
It really is an excellent story!!!
>>595681595681 I'm gonna let the first part of that go cause I like the second part.
>>595674595674 Maybe, kinda depends if I can find a proofreader the overall content won't change it'll just get cleaner grammatically . Less run on sentences basically better comma use that kinda thing.
>>595683595683 Happy to inform
I can tell you lot are gonna really love the other none one-shot Clopfic I'm writing
>>595710595710 *laughing* I don't even know. I'm a go with yes.
>>595718595718 Okay then.
>>595855595855 Spike and Rarity seemed pretty into it to.
yesh, very delicious
>>596289596289 I'm a go lock my doors now.
Level 100 lockpicking!
>>596300596300 ha! it takes lvl 525 lock picking to open my door.
I meant the windows
>>596491596491... well played. *pulls out broad swords* my turn!
>>596758596758 I'm gonna take that as a good thing.
What the heck is with the two penis thing? Only thing that bothered me
>>596866596866 Some reptiles have two (not sure why to be fair) and it just makes the whole thing kinkier don't you think Plus all the fun of double penetration without having to share <-- is the man.
Hello, I'm Venatus75, and I'll be your editor today! I just thought I'd post this to let you know, and edit my corrections into it later.
FUCK! GOD DAMN IT I CANT THINK!
>>597560597560 and as their brains melt my CONQUEST OF THIS WORLD SHALL BE COMPLETE!
OH SWEET MERCIFUL JESUS, IT’S OVER! NOW I CAN GO BACK AND CLOP TO IT- I MEAN READ IT THROUGH! Haha, I really liked the story, but there are quite a few issues that need to be addressed. Please note my massive amount of usage of words like perhaps and maybe. These are SUGGESTIONS, and I am NOT an English major or anything. In fact, I’m still in high school. Take these as you will, but please do not be offended. I do not mean to hurt you, only help you. I hope you can take these 2 hours of my time to help your writing skills! I wish you luck, and don’t be afraid to let me know if you require anything else edited, though I think I’m out for today. Two hours is a while, and I plan on doing some stuff like, I don’t know… eating? Haha, either way, I enjoyed this, and I hope you’re happy with almost THREE THOUSAND words of corrections. :D
The edits are now in a PM to you. For those of you just randomly seeing this comment, before the first paragraph of this comment, there were just under three thousand words of edits. Your welcome for fixing up your comment page!
>>597590597590 Well I'd be happier if you PM'd the corrections to me gonna kind throw off other commenters with the whole fic in a comment below. I would suggest removing the actual edits and story but leaving the last paragraph with your exasperation lol. I do enjoy the comments You took 2 hours of you life to assist me so I'm not in the least bit offended by any corrections/suggestions. Thank you for your assistance *bow*.
Yes, that MAY have been a better idea. I'll fix it now, lol.
>>597663597663 Yea its a tad bit intimidating
I also have to leave shortly so I might not have a chance to implicate the suggestions until tonight
Oh, that's quite alright!
Just one question... is Spike still supposed to be at his usual size from the show?
If so, how does he fit a pair of super-stallion sized schlongs into any portion of his anatomy, even flaccid?
>>597762597762 Yea I didn't really specify that for a reason. Chock it up to dragon anatomy if you want him to be the same size if you're more comfortable making him teenage size (greed spike stage 2 size) go for it I left it open ended for a reason. The only thing you really have to know is that he can sit down so she can bend over
Personally the cover art I used gives him a nice size if you ask me.
Summon creeper! Attack, my pet!
That was amazing. I am speechless beyond those words. :x
>>598739598739 Stop summoning superheros like Jack Rider!
>>598742598742 Yea I'm awesome
“You are to address me as Master!”
"yes..Spike are you ok?" Spike was cluching his head.
"can't you hear them?"
"IT IS THE MASTER!! dum dum dum dum" Spike taped his claws on his legs in a beat of four...
>>599171599171 was that a Dr. Who reference?
ahhhghhhh.....ahhhh...ahhh. NOICE, whiteness all over!