In Earth years it is the year 2512. Using advanced space technology humans have been exploring solar systems and other galaxies! Until one day a starship named the U.S.S Atropos finds a small planet with strange energy readings coming from it. Curious they investigate...
Btw, I was really bored one day and just started writing this. After reading over it I realized that it wasn't half bad, so I devised a plot and decided to upload it to fimfiction. Plz don't be haters! XD
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Darn it, I thought this was going to be a Starcraft crossover.
The picture of the Hyperion really caught my attention.
But good story.
I undestand how do you feel so I will give you an opportunity... I`m reading this later but I will come back.
596852
Why did I think of Shazbot?
Hmm... I read the whole chapter, and I have a feeling that the plot is going to be pretty interesting. (If you manage to pull it off correctly, that is.)
I like it so far, but there is some problems.
1. The detail, the story (and this chapter) seem to be significantly lacking actual detail and description to what the characters are doing. You aren't really going into a large amount of detail about the emotions, actions and behaviors of the characters.
2. The pacing, so Twilight and friends are playing a game and then all of a sudden a human ship flies by... kind of fast don't you think? Maybe an actual prologue before the story happening, like a bunch of humans making a decision to go to Equestria and learning their reasons to why they are visiting. Either that's going to be explained in the future chapters or you didn't think about it in this chapter. You need to slow down the story and atleast go into detail (Like point one) about what was going on.
These are a few of the many problems/nitpicks I have with the story. I do like HiE stories and I definitely think that you have potential for this story, but please make it a little longer and add some more detail for the readers.
Examples:
Original: "Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity were all hanging out over at Sweet Apple Acres playing games one day normal day in Ponyville."
Instead of just saying a normal day, you could go into detail about it being a warn summers day with cool yet brisk winds to compliment the heat, and maybe an actual description of what Twilight and her friends are playing. (Catch? Hoof-Ball? Tag? Hide 'n Seek?) All that other good stuff.
- Glitch.
Rainbow Dash managed to wreck the Hyperion by kicking it? I kid, I know it was a small craft sent from the Atropolis
And serves him right, he fired at Rainbow Dash! 
She has nothing to apologize for.
Well, I'm glad that the dude was not a brony. That was a good move to keep it interesting. 7.8 billion light years... is further away than most of the sci-fi ships I know can travel, but that's okay!
Looks like he's set up for some crazy adventures in Equestria, but watch out for Twilight. She'll never leave him alone.
596892 "Instead of just saying a normal day, you could go into detail about it being a warn summers day with cool yet brisk winds to compliment the heat"
Yay for more weather reports!
596892 Thanks I'll keep that in mind. I may add a prologue now too!
596944 Would you not mind if I asked you to change the cover art to a different star ship?
Needs some reviewing, and a prologue would be sweet, just to explain what humanity exactly did in 500 years. But this story looks good, so I will stay tuned on it!
Read it aswell, and
596892
Totally what he said.
596949 Why? As long as it's an epic picture I don't really care I guess
597152 It's just misleading, I guess. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png
Wow Rainbow Dash destroyed the F-56 by kicking it, it must have been made out something weak like paper mache or Radditz.
596852 Yeah I read ya........ sir
The story is interesting but it moves along kind of fast. And Rainbow dash destroying a fighter jet just by kicking it is pretty ridiculous.
596892 Well I added a Prologue. What do you think?
597447 Nappa... Plant the Saibamen.
YAYYYY~!
whats this crossover of?
596852
I keep saying that if someone wants to make a good Starcraft crosssover they gotta take a note from the Fallout Equestria people and do more than "Terrans discover strange planet" or something. Think about it, zerglings, changelings, the universe practically writes itself.
602183 Yes, thank Celestia someone understands the concept.
oh shiz this isnt good
Why do I have a feeling the humans have gone hurrdurrretarded and attacked Las Pegasus?
608948 Humanity at it's best...as always.
Rainbowdash managed to fly faster than this clearly faster machine that when she landed on it could have done some pretty simple evasive manoeuvres and destroyed it even though it probably had extremely tough armour with her hooves which could probably at the maximum shake a trees apples out.
Seems legit.
610863
These are ponies. Everything is legit.
Shenanigans! I call Shenanigans! There's no way Rainbow could take out a Fighter (designed to take damage) and one rated for the vacuum at that.
yup. Humans being humans.
Critic: it's too damn short. And feels rushed. Having a charged schedule?
696216 Yeah, your right. I'll slow it up on the next chapter.
Raynors Raiders come on put em in cant wait for the next chapter
cant wait for the next chapter
i sense a court marshall and a humanxpony war
I wonder when they will find out that the creatures are actually humans
Cliffhanger
honestly i like the story but i kind of want Nick to fail and the Ponies to loose
852781
That would be a very nice twist that I would enjoy but it wont happen :(
863454 just had to get it out of my head
i can only imagine
Man Deja Vu I feel like i've seen this kind of plot before in a certain crappy james cameron film dont get me wrong I like your story I do but it just reminds too much of that film that it fills me with rage just thinking about it
907498 You want to put any punctuation in that comment bro? Talk about a run-on sentence.
Anyway, story is going good. Can't wait to see how they resolve the problem in Las Pegasus.
Can't wait for the next one!
I look forward to when they find out just how powerful the elements can be.
Well that went well.
Can't wait for the next one!
I can't wait to see what happens when the captain finds out Celestia can move the sun at will. She could easily just destroy their orbiting ship with it. Or they could use the moon. That captain sure is a jerk.
I got an idea of how this story can end. you can make two endings.if its okay with you
the first ending is when Nick completely betrays the human rays and stop the human invasion of Equestria but being declared enemy of the race by humanity, but he's being welcomed with opened front legs into Equestria
the second ending is when Nick betrays Equestira and joins the humans in the final stage. tell all of the ponies plans too the humans and the pony race becomes extinct. Nick gets a position in command over whats left of pony kind but he lives with the guilt the rest of his life.
why i brought this up is because the are to many stories out there when a/the human/s join side with the ponies and defeat the army of invading humans. I would just for once want to read a story when that ends differently.
1049530
Trust me, I've got a great ending planned. It's not what you'd expect.
1050541 its little of both am i right
1050541 no wait wait I know
Nick is going to join the human invasion but they are going to fail anyway just because
1050635
Lol, now that would just be sad...
1050639 indeed
1050541Great ending? What the Covenant comes out and wipes out the humans and they're lead by Luna? That would be funny.
And the ponies show their ability to fight back... iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/tumblr_llbxphyLld1qiq96ko1_400.gif Lets hope they can do better...
Either you are going to make the humans loose the invasion rather easily or the ponies are going to be pawned. i wonder which one you will choose.