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Book 1
Twilight Sparkle sees a red comet that brings ill tidings to Equestria. Soon strange things start happening in Ponyville while winds of danger blow from the Everfree Forest. Something beyond Equestria has come and it doesn't come with good intentions. And top of it all, Applebloom has gone missing. . .
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interssting
1) this fic has me interested.....tracking
2) OPAL GOT PWNED!
LMFAO!
that last sentance just killed me 
p.s. FIRST!
also KICKASS IMAGE!
(just noticed it)
530398
I love Pinkie Pie, I really do. I love all of the Mane 6, so I hoping that nobody will accuse me of being a Pinkie Pie hater by having her be electrocuted.
530398 Thanks, took me three hours of searching google images, experimenting with GIMP, and watching tutorials on youtube.
Any comments or critique would be much appreciated.
this story is great
dunno why it doesnt get more views
540174 It's likely because I just posted it this week. How did you like Applebloom in the forest? I tried to make it suspenseful.
I do most of my writing on my days off which are on Sunday ( usually I hang out with friends) and tuesday (I do nothing, but play on this day), So update might not come until next week.
541565 it was very suspensefull
i was pretty sure you werent going to kill her off but towards the end i started having doubts
aww poor applebloom.....
[img] http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a185/pensivepine/mlp_nurse.jpg [/img]
seriously though another awsome chapter!
564703
OMG ROFL!!! I love that pic. Great chapter can't wait for more.
This chapter is heavy with OC's pov, but I felt the need to take a chapter to develop the OC's environment.
WOOT! NEW CHAPTER!
*reads chapter*
yup i shall now confirm my findings....
[img] http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rFW8zybJ_Pg/Tq9jcu3HGuI/AAAAAAAAAwg/dotZDShFBQ4/s1600/derpy_approved_by_ambris-d4bv8qn.png [/img]
loving the OC's btw ^_^
also cant wait for next chapter
[img] http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MGMUB9z-Z_s/Tx9DQmcBdyI/AAAAAAAAcVE/wRADYnmj45g/s1600/nightmare_woona_by_snapai-d4ngpjc.png [/img]
Just for the record, it's Everfree, not Evergreen.
is it me or are there a lot of women characters human i mean?
573957 Thanks!
I was afraid that I was putting too many OC's in, but they are minor characters. . . .for now.
574042 There are. Because I find it easier to write from a female perspective because I can relate easily. Also, I'm drawn toward strong female characters and tend to gravitate towards movies, shows, games, and books that has strong female characters. Such as the Hunger Games, Game of Thrones, Mass Effect, etc.
574014 Crap, really? Well, that's change I'll have to make tomorrow. Sorry about that.
574014 Made the corrections just now. Thanks for pointing it out.
The next chapter may be the last.
Due to reading over the discussion regarding the dark tag, I decided to switch it from dark to sad to better fit the story. The theme of the story isn't change at all. I just wanted to have the tags fit better.
1) [img] http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/105/350/shit%20just%20got%20real.jpg [/img]
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY!
THIS STORY 
2) last chapter!?
3) I
591450 I plan on a sequel or a part 2. What has become my habit is that I drag stories out way too long and never finish. I'm thinking I should break that habit by breaking up a long story into books. Though, before I get started on part 2, I will do some editing to clean up part 1.
591503 hmmmmmmmmm....... aslong as you dont stop updating.....after all.........
[img] http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/015/6/b/pinkie_pie_is_watching_you_by_oxon1-d4mfhvh.png [/img]
Man, this is getting sad.
Can't wait for the next chapter
ANOTHER AWSOME CHAPTER!
[img] http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/4e0e53d7008dd5ee4e8604f1a118f841/35231%20-%20caption%20It's_beautiful%20rainbow_dash%20repetitive.jpg [/img]
612192 Thanks, and yeah it is getting sad. War is a pretty ugly thing and innocents do get caught in the crossfire.
This part is completed, but I I will begin the next part soon. I'm sorry if this story has become heavy with humans. I'm really setting up events to take place in the next part, planting seeds, I should say.
Please, any critique is much appreciated.
memory loss................saw it coming
also CLIFFHANGER
[img] http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/1002/cliffhanger-megan-demotivational-poster-1266040022.jpg [/img]
cant wait for part two
621368
There's another one?!
Im keeping my eye on you. I look forward to your future work.
Really liking it so far.
Can't wait.
Trans
Ionic
Genetic
Gene
Eugenics
Rewrite.
This is nonsense. Ending the chapter on it is anticlimactic, which can be humorous but here just seems out of place.
631191 I've reread the last part of this chapter and I see what you are talking about. I meant for it to be ominous. But I can remove it just the last bit.
Aww, I am so glad Applebloom is back safely.
No, I really mean it. I couldn't stop reading it, it was well written and the story kept me captive. So glad she is back...
Glad I read this before I started the sequel... which I hope will be just as good.
Chapter 3
"though I fill that it would be better for a professional"
Shouldn't fill be feel?
"Please, please, jest go away and leave me be. I wanna go home. I jest wanna go home."
Not sure if accent, but jest should be just.
"And if she stayed, she’ll died from hypothermia or drown. "
Died should be die.
"This was how she was to end her life"
Should read "Was this" at the beginning since it's a question, not a statement.
"she saw a stream of red slash shoot between the trees"
Should be re-worded. Possibly "She saw a stream of red slashes fly from between the trees"
These minor 'errors' do not prevent me from enjoying the FUCK out of this story. Keep up the good work, will continue reading.
Chapter 4
"but she had no since of time."
Since should be sense.
There was a few other things, but I forgot them. Oh well, nice chapter.
Chapter 5
"“Jest like a kid, eh?”"
This is most definitely not just an accent, jest should be just.
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
Not to sure about this one, but I'm 80% sure that 'I' should be I'd. Due to the tense.
"but there was a determine set to her eyes."
Not sure what this is exactly stating but, I think this sentence should read 'but there was determination set in her eyes.'
"not the slides of wood"
'Slides' doesn't make sense in this sentence due to the definition of slides. Instead it should be slabs or planks.
"wearing her chemise."
W should be capitalized.
"Her clothes had been pulled off the racks and scattered across the floor. “Such a hellion. "
Should read something along the lines of
Her clothes had been pulled off the racks and scattered across the floor.
“Such a hellion."
"being ransacked, she surprised herself"
Comma should be a semicolon. I think.
"from home;entertainment vids,"
Pretty sure that's improper use of a semicolon.
Loved the chapter, sorry for being so nit-picky.
907395 No problem. After I get done with Jammin' Gemini, I plan on going back over this and making corrections.
Chapter 6
I did have a list of about 20+ fixes (Fucking literally. I'm not over exaggerating, or else I'd just go over it again.) but Firefox decided to crash so I'm pissed about that and won't be doing anymore fixes for this chapter... *RAGE OF A THOUSAND SUPER NOVAS RAHHHHHGSGHSFS*
EDIT: To mad to read.
EDITED EDIT: WANT TO BURN EVERYTHING
I like it. ONWARDS TOWARDS MOAR!
Reading it today, the last sentence got air of dark irony.