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  • E Princess Celestia Hates Tea

    Seriously, a lot.
    8,536 words · 39,515 views  ·  3,653  ·  54
  • E Sun Princess

    In the final days of her life, an exceptionally faithful student muses on the subject of her perfect and immortal mentor Applejack.
    1,709 words · 14,301 views  ·  2,158  ·  29
  • E Martial Bliss

    Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.
    1,514 words · 16,502 views  ·  2,030  ·  27
  • E How to Remove a Unicorn Tooth

    Three missing pieces, two loving alicorns, and a single stupid decision that will set young Princess Cadence on a fresh new course.
    11,618 words · 13,094 views  ·  1,071  ·  12
  • E Derplicity

    Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares.
    7,984 words · 21,355 views  ·  2,441  ·  35
  • T Shipping Sickness

    Twilight Sparkle and her bedside table: like two 'ships that pass in the night.
    2,286 words · 17,909 views  ·  1,901  ·  26
  • E Infernal Machines

    The touching tale of a pony and her pet mechanical salamander.
    8,113 words · 7,111 views  ·  563  ·  5
  • E Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess

    Filly Cadence turns her first heart.
    10,724 words · 4,650 views  ·  475  ·  4

Blog Posts106

  • Wednesday
    Feeling Bad About Feeling Good

    (Sorry about the doublepost.  Accidentally published too early, and I didn't want comments coming in on the incomplete version before I had a chance to explain myself...)

    So.  Just watched "Rainbow Rocks" again.

    I actually really like this movie, and it makes me sad, because I keep on imagining what Ms. Faust must think of it, and what she would think of me, by proxy.

    This is nothing new to me, of course, speaking as a Cadance fan.  It's well-known public record by now that the show's original developer never wanted more than two alicorns, and yet, here I am, devoting most of my creative energies in this fandom to the once-controversial third alicorn.  (Is Cadance drama even a thing anymore?)  When pressed on this topic, I will always fall back on the following conclusion:  Cadance is a Bad Thing, and we are making the most of it.

    If I am being brutally honest with myself, however, I realize that I am saying this because I have the specter of a disapproving Lauren Faust watching me over my shoulder.  I like alicorns.  I like to have a selection of alicorns.  I like that there's a younger alicorn.  I like that I do not have to choose between "godlike, regal, and canon-perfect" and "struggles with inner darkness."  I like everything about the fact of Cadance...

    ...except for the fact that I feel like I'm stepping on someone's childhood imaginings by doing so.  Pity the professional artist, who frequently has to sell control of her childhood friends to a corporation who never knew them, and who will take them places you never wanted them to go.  Craig McCracken, Ms. Faust's husband, as much as confirmed that "Equestria Girls" was contrary to her original vision.  And I can see why, of course.

    The original Equestria Girls was very much an honest "making the most of a Bad Thing" period for me.  That movie was a bit of a mess; I enjoyed bits of it and did not criticize it too harshly.  The fans and creators were both dealt a bad hand by management, and I liked the idea of us all sort of enduring it together.  But now we have a sequel, and while rough edges still exist, on the whole, it's a much more satisfying film experience.

    Nothing about it being a satisfying film experience changes the fact that it's never going to be the direction this show, this franchise, was intended to go.

    My entirely non-scientific surveys of the Ponynet suggest that people are generally pleased with "Rainbow Rocks."  I am... disheartened by the people who are unquenchably angry about the whole thing, the ones that point and say, functionally, Skywriter, you are the problem.  That you continue to consume this media spits on the thing Lauren Faust was trying to do with this show.  You, Skywriter, have participated in muddying this from something great into something merely okay.  One in particular has exhorted the general public as follows:  "Don't you dare forget what could have been!"

    I wonder what this hypothetical show looks like in that fan's imaginings.

    I wonder if I would like it as much as I like the show I'm currently watching.

    I wonder if I am a worse person for liking what "could have been" greater.

    I wonder if it's even true that it "could have been" greater at all.

    I wonder what Lauren Faust thinks of me.

    Ms. Faust, there is no chance that you are reading this, so I say this purely for myself:  I actually like what they did with the characters you thought of first this time, and I'm sorry if anything has been diminished because of what I do or don't like.

    It's the best I can do.

    Final non sequitur:  Why haven't I seen any crackfic stories where Cadance is actually the fourth siren of the coven, the only one redeemable by Star Swirl?  Get on it, fandom!

    61 comments · 582 views
  • 4w, 4d
    "Rainbow Rocks" (flagrant, persistent spoilers throughout, obvs.)

    Welcome to another edition of "Because You All Perforce Must Care What I Think."  Let's make this short and sweet, shall we, getting the unpleasant bits out of the way first.

    Category A:  Things That There Was Never Any Hope For Improvement On

    1.  Human character designs still not doing it for me.  No amount of time and effort will make our girls not look like somewhat sexualized and rainbow-hued versions of Mr. ZIP what with the huge heads and stick bodies and all.

    2.  Still no substitute for actual pony film.  Actual pony screen-time even lower than last time around.

    3.  All protagonists are suddenly skilled musicians, when canonically only Pinkie, Fluttershy (maybe?) and A.J. have even been shown handling an instrument.  And Twilight is appropriately lampshaded in the narrative, so I guess I'm only questioning Dash and Rarity?  I dunno.  Let's move on.

    Category B:  Things Actually Worse Than Last Film

    1.  Vinyl Scratch.  I am absolutely great with fandom nods.  No allergy whatsoever to seeing Octavia, Snowflake Bulk Biceps, and lots and lots of Trixie.  Welcomed.  But basic storytelling dictates that you cannot have a functionally nameless character pull not one but two eleventh-hour saves without seeding the plot properly first.  Story structure demands that the protective qualities of her omnipresent headphones be hinted at before they are used to save our heroes' bacon (something so simple as including a version of the the disapproving Celestia / Vinyl interaction we saw in the "Music to My Ears" short would have been absolutely sufficient) and the Bass Cannon Sedan needs to have been at least established (if not fully revealed) prior to its use as a problem-solver.  When you count on an audience's in-joke knowledge and delight over a character to fill in the cracks of a story, that is when your fandom nod has crossed the line.  Furthermore, I can't tell if the creators are putting her forward as a strong-silent master of her craft or actually envision her as the same loudmouthed Bohemian that the fans see and are merely having her stay mute to appease the "Nowacking or Nothing" crowd.  I wish they would just pick one, because the more the plot actually hinges on her the more distracting her silence becomes.  Thank goodness they actually had Octavia speak a line.

    2.  No Candybutt, not even in cameo.  This is not a fault in the story as such, I'm just (predictably) disappointed and furthermore holistically trepid that my functional OC will continue to fade into the background as Twilight becomes more and more Cadanceified.  She's got wings now, is a princess, and lives in a crystal castle.  All she needs is a coat of pink paint and to get married, and the narrative will have no use for dear sweet Candybutt whatsoever.

    Category C:  Things Better Than Last Film

    1-n.  Virtually everything else.  The scene compositions were more visually adventurous and intriguing, the villains had a plot which made some damn sense this time, the songs are marginally superior, plot points are followed through on and not just mentioned and dropped, and the whole thing seems to have been stitched together with a lot of love and affection for the property.  And Sunset Shimmer is handled exactly the way I wanted her to be handled.  The scene where she once again attempts bad-girl intimidation in the darkened hallway only to have it fizzle this time is just splendid, and I for one gratefully welcome Sunny as the unexplained sixth peripheral star in "Magical Mystery Cure."

    That is all.  Thoughts?

    54 comments · 661 views
  • 6w, 2h
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale," the... official soundtrack?!

    I am... a tad gobsmacked but nonetheless unquestionably overjoyed to report that via the generosity and talent of esteemed pony musician Night Breeze/Wind Wolf and my good friend S.R. Foxley, "Cadance of Cloudsdale" has an upcoming song cycle dedicated to it!  So exite!  Very yes!

    Check out the first track, "Reduit," below.  Thanks, you two.  You helped make my day.

    21 comments · 315 views
  • 6w, 4d
    "Princess Celestia Hates Tea," thoughts on a sequel.

    No secret whatsoever:  the number one reason people hate this story is the flippin' ending.

    It's not the number one reason I hate this story, but it's certainly up there.  Those of you who have gone on to read "A Short Story by Twilight Sparkle" have doubtless perceived the autobiographical inspiration in Twilight's experience, particularly this part:

    ...the whole ending felt shockingly rushed and weak, because, frankly, I was so darn tired of writing it by that point I couldn't see straight. I had testily sworn to myself that I would not endure another morning with that stupid "Tea" story hanging over my head...

    ...which is, of course, all true of me.  That said, it's not like another day of writing it would have "fixed" the ending, either.  It's been like two years now (insert shocked-dismay emoticon) and I have yet to come up with a "better" ending that feels right.

    So.  Message received, from like hundreds of you.  You hate the ending.  I get it.  I hate it too.  It's too late to edit the original story, but if it had a sequel, what do you most want to see in it?  What, specifically, chafes your gizzard about how this story closes?  The general lack of all-around happy?  That Twilight doesn't get her just desserts for an entire evening of torturing Celestia with the memory spell?  That, in a world where you can literally turn birds into oranges, that some kind of solution wasn't forced using unicorn magic?  What?

    Please note that the characters will remain kind of panicky and stupid, so if the fact that the characters are panicky and stupid is your major beef, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to accommodate a fix of that nature.

    103 comments · 814 views
  • 8w, 1d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale" gets another addition...

    In a short story done for a fic competition!  It was written by Eakin, a master of arts; his story "Hard Reset" is top of the charts.  This one is does not deal with time loops and despair, but rather a fortress and the Sisterhood there.  I'm so glad to see another tale told of our Pretty Pink Princess when she was just a foal.  It's really good work--if I haven't been clear--and I recommend checking it out over here.

    (If you are concerned why I'm talking this way, it's apparently "Type Like Zecora Day."  I find my Zecora-style writing quite dismal on account of my rhymes being hella abysmal.)

    18 comments · 364 views
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What the heck, I've got no shame.

Wow. This was... brilliant. No other way to describe it.

Not really "Mature", but hey.

Yep, that much sums up some of the authors on this site pretty well. And this was hilarious, too.

...

...

WTF did I just read:rainbowhuh:

So very meta. Though... the mature tag could be a bit off-putting, and it's really not necessary. Maybe set it to teen instead? I mean, yes, part of the meta is that it is tagged mature ridiculously, but still.

That was...

uhm...

I have a raging brainer right now. :twilightblush:

(for those of your who haven't seen the Futurama episode, that's an inttellectual's version of a boner)

HAHAHA!  So this is the reason I shouldn't peek at fimfiction.net when at work:  It's hard to explain sudden guffaws to my coworkers.

Here's hoping you have a "lexically satisfying dream" as this one gets feature-boxed, eh!  XD

I mindcame three times while reading this.

Epic fic. You get my fave.

This story probably has the most brilliantly shameless title of any I've seen on this site. And I'm really happy that the story itself lived up to it -- it was really well written, and I was laughing the whole way through it :rainbowlaugh:

... Also, I clicked 'like' before I stopped reading :ajsmug:

Wow. Okay. Um. Well then.

For one, I should probably compliment you on the fact that you gave me a nice surprise. With a title like that I was expecting the bottom of the barrel attention-seeking trollfic... which I still think that this most certainly is, no doubt about that.

But it's a well-written trollfic.

I have to admit, I'm probably in the minority here when I say that I found this more creepy and awkward than I did funny. Not that the concept isn't hilarious, no, I did laugh, to be sure. However, portraying the audience as a collective being seemed really, well, fucking creepy. That's not a bad thing, but it does add a surreal element to the story that actually works more to its advantage. In a way, I kind of like it,

That being said, I will admit that if this doesn't hit the feature box... I'll probably laugh. I'll be even more amused if it actually does though.

For a trollfic, this is pretty damn good. Good job, man. -thumbs and favs for Twilight-

Edit; Well I'll be damned, you really did it. Hats off, man.

Confound these well-written and surprisingly thoughtful meta/troll/WHATEVERfics, they drive me to favourite.

Enjoy your Featured. I hope it makes you feel DIRTY.

Hejeebiewha?

Well, let's see if we can put her over the edge, hmm?

>>569972

Fixed, now, but you ruined the mood.  You're going to have to start over and comment at me gently for a while.

"Oh Twilight, your brain is so big! Write me another!" Steel Resolve caressed the fav button gently before pressing it hard. "Oh... my... I liked it. Let's do this again soon." He leaves a watch message. "Call me soon!"

Trollfic?  I don't see any trollfics here.

Seriously though, I think my favorite part of this, in keeping with the meta theme, is that I'm pretty sure Romance Reports was never featured.

This deserves to be featured. I can't really say how much this mirrored my first experience posting here, aside the orgasmic pleasure, of course... Or did it?

This is so full of win and so full of truth. :pinkiehappy: You just have to be featured. If for anything, for shicz and giggles. xD

LOL makes me want to write a story....

not exactly subtle humor, but it was quite clever.

All my faves. All of them

Would this count as going deeper, or going higher?

Last week, the Audience whispered in my ear and asked to fool around with my fav button, just a little.  Just the one or two.  It... it was impossible to stop once he got going.  I'd feel violated if it didn't feel so goooood.

My first story was basically like this. It was supposed to be a one shot. The likes and favs flew at me in a flurry. It felt so good. I mean yes, there was pain, the dislikes rarely came with any comments, my audience was not always kind. Overall a very satisfying time was had by all.

Da... what da... what da fuck am I reading...

Magnificant. Very clever and enjoyable! :pinkiehappy::heart:

Sky you might want to adjust the rating to teen. I get it, the innuendo is thick as frozen toothpaste but you will find it hard to get featured when some can't even see your story lol.

And with a glorious flicker of golden light, another small part of the audience gave its approval.

:twilightsmile:

>>570009 and >>571012

Yeah, I mean, the rating is part of the gag, but seeing as it's all metaphorical graphically adult content, maybe you have a point.

Let's change it and see if anybody flips out like a weasel.

This is the first time I've gotten this much enjoyment out of being trolled. I feel a little dirty...

>>570278 A trollfic?

I don't see how this is a trollfic, care to explain?

>>571157

It's probably due to the fact that I'm an idiot that can't really specify an exact definition for the term 'trollfic' itself. I called it that because of the impression that the story gave me, even if I now realize that such a term probably isn't the best suited for it. The title misled me to believe that it was going to a mindless ride of stupidity, even if the end result was much more surreal and 'deep' rather than just frivolous comedy. Even so, the fic is teasingly crying out for attention from the audience in the end. That is why I called it what I did.

I meant no insult or offense from my previous comment, if that was the impression that I gave. I actually really did like it :pinkiehappy: And I apologize if I used the term in an incorrect fashion. Just goes to show how I should stick with straight-faced criticisms.

I... uh, what?  

Simultaneously promoting the publishing of fanfics while highlighting the inherent vanity of doing so... in the vainest way possible.  Well, it's certainly honest.  At least you aren't using telling us to dance like puppets (unlike a certain other author with a certain story with a certainly unusual premise who apparently threatened to hit you).  And mentioning that caused me to get distracted for 30 minutes reading the Dr. Banner version's blog (wow, good stuff).

I'm agreeing with GingerNutGin on the ridiculously creepy collective Audience.  Now featuring in my nightmares...  That should quell my desire to post a story here for a few more days!  

Ok, I bust out laughing at the "Fave me harder!" line. This was brilliantly done and entertaining.

I... Yeah, I think I will be pretty pleased to fave this. It's about as awesome as meta gets without tripping over itself.

Nothing like a good meta story to bring a smile to my face. Bravo.

My brain feels all tingly now.

This story is not only brilliantly funny and astonishingly meta, it's also the most erotic thing I've read in a while.

*likes*

*faves*

:twilightblush:

>>570429

meanwhile my herm-on-male fic is sitting at number two this very second

clearly your mistake was not sticking dicks on everything

Did we just ... clop Twilight Sparkle?:twilightoops:

Like, Fav. Only one question remains...

Was it good for you too?

That was terrible.

I :rainbowlaugh: anyway.

Are you feeling the faves yet?

Sorry i just had to say it. I can't stop laughing

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