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  • E Sun Princess

    In the final days of her life, an exceptionally faithful student muses on the subject of her perfect and immortal mentor Applejack.
    1,709 words · 14,229 views  ·  2,152  ·  29
  • E Princess Celestia Hates Tea

    Seriously, a lot.
    8,536 words · 39,304 views  ·  3,626  ·  54
  • E Martial Bliss

    Shining Armor learns the most important tactical lesson of his life.
    1,514 words · 16,401 views  ·  2,018  ·  27
  • E How to Remove a Unicorn Tooth

    Three missing pieces, two loving alicorns, and a single stupid decision that will set young Princess Cadence on a fresh new course.
    11,618 words · 13,025 views  ·  1,068  ·  12
  • E Derplicity

    Derpy Hooves is secretly a changeling. Nopony particularly notices, or cares.
    7,984 words · 21,265 views  ·  2,431  ·  35
  • T Shipping Sickness

    Twilight Sparkle and her bedside table: like two 'ships that pass in the night.
    2,286 words · 17,817 views  ·  1,891  ·  26
  • E Infernal Machines

    The touching tale of a pony and her pet mechanical salamander.
    8,113 words · 7,091 views  ·  563  ·  5
  • E Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess

    Filly Cadence turns her first heart.
    10,724 words · 4,615 views  ·  475  ·  4

Blog Posts105

  • 3w, 1d
    "Rainbow Rocks" (flagrant, persistent spoilers throughout, obvs.)

    Welcome to another edition of "Because You All Perforce Must Care What I Think."  Let's make this short and sweet, shall we, getting the unpleasant bits out of the way first.

    Category A:  Things That There Was Never Any Hope For Improvement On

    1.  Human character designs still not doing it for me.  No amount of time and effort will make our girls not look like somewhat sexualized and rainbow-hued versions of Mr. ZIP what with the huge heads and stick bodies and all.

    2.  Still no substitute for actual pony film.  Actual pony screen-time even lower than last time around.

    3.  All protagonists are suddenly skilled musicians, when canonically only Pinkie, Fluttershy (maybe?) and A.J. have even been shown handling an instrument.  And Twilight is appropriately lampshaded in the narrative, so I guess I'm only questioning Dash and Rarity?  I dunno.  Let's move on.

    Category B:  Things Actually Worse Than Last Film

    1.  Vinyl Scratch.  I am absolutely great with fandom nods.  No allergy whatsoever to seeing Octavia, Snowflake Bulk Biceps, and lots and lots of Trixie.  Welcomed.  But basic storytelling dictates that you cannot have a functionally nameless character pull not one but two eleventh-hour saves without seeding the plot properly first.  Story structure demands that the protective qualities of her omnipresent headphones be hinted at before they are used to save our heroes' bacon (something so simple as including a version of the the disapproving Celestia / Vinyl interaction we saw in the "Music to My Ears" short would have been absolutely sufficient) and the Bass Cannon Sedan needs to have been at least established (if not fully revealed) prior to its use as a problem-solver.  When you count on an audience's in-joke knowledge and delight over a character to fill in the cracks of a story, that is when your fandom nod has crossed the line.  Furthermore, I can't tell if the creators are putting her forward as a strong-silent master of her craft or actually envision her as the same loudmouthed Bohemian that the fans see and are merely having her stay mute to appease the "Nowacking or Nothing" crowd.  I wish they would just pick one, because the more the plot actually hinges on her the more distracting her silence becomes.  Thank goodness they actually had Octavia speak a line.

    2.  No Candybutt, not even in cameo.  This is not a fault in the story as such, I'm just (predictably) disappointed and furthermore holistically trepid that my functional OC will continue to fade into the background as Twilight becomes more and more Cadanceified.  She's got wings now, is a princess, and lives in a crystal castle.  All she needs is a coat of pink paint and to get married, and the narrative will have no use for dear sweet Candybutt whatsoever.

    Category C:  Things Better Than Last Film

    1-n.  Virtually everything else.  The scene compositions were more visually adventurous and intriguing, the villains had a plot which made some damn sense this time, the songs are marginally superior, plot points are followed through on and not just mentioned and dropped, and the whole thing seems to have been stitched together with a lot of love and affection for the property.  And Sunset Shimmer is handled exactly the way I wanted her to be handled.  The scene where she once again attempts bad-girl intimidation in the darkened hallway only to have it fizzle this time is just splendid, and I for one gratefully welcome Sunny as the unexplained sixth peripheral star in "Magical Mystery Cure."

    That is all.  Thoughts?

    54 comments · 591 views
  • 4w, 3d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale," the... official soundtrack?!

    I am... a tad gobsmacked but nonetheless unquestionably overjoyed to report that via the generosity and talent of esteemed pony musician Night Breeze/Wind Wolf and my good friend S.R. Foxley, "Cadance of Cloudsdale" has an upcoming song cycle dedicated to it!  So exite!  Very yes!

    Check out the first track, "Reduit," below.  Thanks, you two.  You helped make my day.

    21 comments · 308 views
  • 5w, 1d
    "Princess Celestia Hates Tea," thoughts on a sequel.

    No secret whatsoever:  the number one reason people hate this story is the flippin' ending.

    It's not the number one reason I hate this story, but it's certainly up there.  Those of you who have gone on to read "A Short Story by Twilight Sparkle" have doubtless perceived the autobiographical inspiration in Twilight's experience, particularly this part:

    ...the whole ending felt shockingly rushed and weak, because, frankly, I was so darn tired of writing it by that point I couldn't see straight. I had testily sworn to myself that I would not endure another morning with that stupid "Tea" story hanging over my head...

    ...which is, of course, all true of me.  That said, it's not like another day of writing it would have "fixed" the ending, either.  It's been like two years now (insert shocked-dismay emoticon) and I have yet to come up with a "better" ending that feels right.

    So.  Message received, from like hundreds of you.  You hate the ending.  I get it.  I hate it too.  It's too late to edit the original story, but if it had a sequel, what do you most want to see in it?  What, specifically, chafes your gizzard about how this story closes?  The general lack of all-around happy?  That Twilight doesn't get her just desserts for an entire evening of torturing Celestia with the memory spell?  That, in a world where you can literally turn birds into oranges, that some kind of solution wasn't forced using unicorn magic?  What?

    Please note that the characters will remain kind of panicky and stupid, so if the fact that the characters are panicky and stupid is your major beef, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to accommodate a fix of that nature.

    103 comments · 806 views
  • 6w, 5d
    "Cadance of Cloudsdale" gets another addition...

    In a short story done for a fic competition!  It was written by Eakin, a master of arts; his story "Hard Reset" is top of the charts.  This one is does not deal with time loops and despair, but rather a fortress and the Sisterhood there.  I'm so glad to see another tale told of our Pretty Pink Princess when she was just a foal.  It's really good work--if I haven't been clear--and I recommend checking it out over here.

    (If you are concerned why I'm talking this way, it's apparently "Type Like Zecora Day."  I find my Zecora-style writing quite dismal on account of my rhymes being hella abysmal.)

    18 comments · 358 views
  • 9w, 3d
    "Princess Celestia Hates Tea" in comic format!

    35 comments · 949 views
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What the heck, I've got no shame.

Wow. This was... brilliant. No other way to describe it.

Not really "Mature", but hey.

Yep, that much sums up some of the authors on this site pretty well. And this was hilarious, too.

...

...

WTF did I just read:rainbowhuh:

So very meta. Though... the mature tag could be a bit off-putting, and it's really not necessary. Maybe set it to teen instead? I mean, yes, part of the meta is that it is tagged mature ridiculously, but still.

That was...

uhm...

I have a raging brainer right now. :twilightblush:

(for those of your who haven't seen the Futurama episode, that's an inttellectual's version of a boner)

HAHAHA!  So this is the reason I shouldn't peek at fimfiction.net when at work:  It's hard to explain sudden guffaws to my coworkers.

Here's hoping you have a "lexically satisfying dream" as this one gets feature-boxed, eh!  XD

I mindcame three times while reading this.

Epic fic. You get my fave.

This story probably has the most brilliantly shameless title of any I've seen on this site. And I'm really happy that the story itself lived up to it -- it was really well written, and I was laughing the whole way through it :rainbowlaugh:

... Also, I clicked 'like' before I stopped reading :ajsmug:

Wow. Okay. Um. Well then.

For one, I should probably compliment you on the fact that you gave me a nice surprise. With a title like that I was expecting the bottom of the barrel attention-seeking trollfic... which I still think that this most certainly is, no doubt about that.

But it's a well-written trollfic.

I have to admit, I'm probably in the minority here when I say that I found this more creepy and awkward than I did funny. Not that the concept isn't hilarious, no, I did laugh, to be sure. However, portraying the audience as a collective being seemed really, well, fucking creepy. That's not a bad thing, but it does add a surreal element to the story that actually works more to its advantage. In a way, I kind of like it,

That being said, I will admit that if this doesn't hit the feature box... I'll probably laugh. I'll be even more amused if it actually does though.

For a trollfic, this is pretty damn good. Good job, man. -thumbs and favs for Twilight-

Edit; Well I'll be damned, you really did it. Hats off, man.

>>568658

Well apparently neither do i!

Confound these well-written and surprisingly thoughtful meta/troll/WHATEVERfics, they drive me to favourite.

Enjoy your Featured. I hope it makes you feel DIRTY.

Hejeebiewha?

Well, let's see if we can put her over the edge, hmm?

>>569972

Fixed, now, but you ruined the mood.  You're going to have to start over and comment at me gently for a while.

"Oh Twilight, your brain is so big! Write me another!" Steel Resolve caressed the fav button gently before pressing it hard. "Oh... my... I liked it. Let's do this again soon." He leaves a watch message. "Call me soon!"

Trollfic?  I don't see any trollfics here.

Seriously though, I think my favorite part of this, in keeping with the meta theme, is that I'm pretty sure Romance Reports was never featured.

This deserves to be featured. I can't really say how much this mirrored my first experience posting here, aside the orgasmic pleasure, of course... Or did it?

This is so full of win and so full of truth. :pinkiehappy: You just have to be featured. If for anything, for shicz and giggles. xD

LOL makes me want to write a story....

not exactly subtle humor, but it was quite clever.

All my faves. All of them

Would this count as going deeper, or going higher?

Last week, the Audience whispered in my ear and asked to fool around with my fav button, just a little.  Just the one or two.  It... it was impossible to stop once he got going.  I'd feel violated if it didn't feel so goooood.

My first story was basically like this. It was supposed to be a one shot. The likes and favs flew at me in a flurry. It felt so good. I mean yes, there was pain, the dislikes rarely came with any comments, my audience was not always kind. Overall a very satisfying time was had by all.

Da... what da... what da fuck am I reading...

Magnificant. Very clever and enjoyable! :pinkiehappy::heart:

Sky you might want to adjust the rating to teen. I get it, the innuendo is thick as frozen toothpaste but you will find it hard to get featured when some can't even see your story lol.

And with a glorious flicker of golden light, another small part of the audience gave its approval.

:twilightsmile:

>>570009 and >>571012

Yeah, I mean, the rating is part of the gag, but seeing as it's all metaphorical graphically adult content, maybe you have a point.

Let's change it and see if anybody flips out like a weasel.

This is the first time I've gotten this much enjoyment out of being trolled. I feel a little dirty...

>>570278 A trollfic?

I don't see how this is a trollfic, care to explain?

>>571157

It's probably due to the fact that I'm an idiot that can't really specify an exact definition for the term 'trollfic' itself. I called it that because of the impression that the story gave me, even if I now realize that such a term probably isn't the best suited for it. The title misled me to believe that it was going to a mindless ride of stupidity, even if the end result was much more surreal and 'deep' rather than just frivolous comedy. Even so, the fic is teasingly crying out for attention from the audience in the end. That is why I called it what I did.

I meant no insult or offense from my previous comment, if that was the impression that I gave. I actually really did like it :pinkiehappy: And I apologize if I used the term in an incorrect fashion. Just goes to show how I should stick with straight-faced criticisms.

I... uh, what?  

Simultaneously promoting the publishing of fanfics while highlighting the inherent vanity of doing so... in the vainest way possible.  Well, it's certainly honest.  At least you aren't using telling us to dance like puppets (unlike a certain other author with a certain story with a certainly unusual premise who apparently threatened to hit you).  And mentioning that caused me to get distracted for 30 minutes reading the Dr. Banner version's blog (wow, good stuff).

I'm agreeing with GingerNutGin on the ridiculously creepy collective Audience.  Now featuring in my nightmares...  That should quell my desire to post a story here for a few more days!  

Ok, I bust out laughing at the "Fave me harder!" line. This was brilliantly done and entertaining.

This is amazing xD

I... Yeah, I think I will be pretty pleased to fave this. It's about as awesome as meta gets without tripping over itself.

Nothing like a good meta story to bring a smile to my face. Bravo.

My brain feels all tingly now.

This story is not only brilliantly funny and astonishingly meta, it's also the most erotic thing I've read in a while.

*likes*

*faves*

:twilightblush:

>>570429

meanwhile my herm-on-male fic is sitting at number two this very second

clearly your mistake was not sticking dicks on everything

Did we just ... clop Twilight Sparkle?:twilightoops:

Like, Fav. Only one question remains...

Was it good for you too?

That was terrible.

I :rainbowlaugh: anyway.

Are you feeling the faves yet?

Sorry i just had to say it. I can't stop laughing

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