Java Joe
Joined 23rd Jun, 2012 ·
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Interesting Maud fic, i liked it.
Felt Maud had a little too much Spock in her for her character but I have to admit I lol'd when you said:
It was just perfect.
Also loved the last line.
Why does this have thumbs down?
Have a thumbs up from me!
that was a... sastisfactory story, though I think it was quite boring, not much story to it.
Great story for Maud.
Oh you should so do a sequel where she takes him on another expedition, in the summer. But a I LOVED IT!
Is this a one-shot or not? Because it's still marked as "incomplete" at Chapter 1.
If it's a one-shot, you may want to fix that. I keep thinking that there's gonna be follow-up chapters,
6012156
... oh hell. Sorry about that.
It was always intended as a one-shot.
Interesting to see it played out like this. Its kinda, bizzare but intriguing at the same time.
Mother of god, what happened to the picture?!
Okay, so, your intro wasn't exactly inspiring or great, you have many instances of grammatical incorrectness, and the story doesn't seem to have any real impact until the end. I enjoyed it. I laughed several times and I would have liked to see more of Maud's "Personallit (antics)."
This has potential, but I think it could use a lot more polishing.
One last thing, you never mentioned when he entered her, that, or I just didn't notice it. Either is not good and reflects poorly on the story. You could have gone into detail about her body, the way it felt (inside and out), her temperature, little surprises that would seem to conflict with her "stony" appearance and attitude. Little things like that. It's those details that really drive a story to become great.
Of course Maud would be monotone in the sack. Loved it!