• Member Since 23rd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 16th, 2015

Java Joe


E

Lero, while out jogging, is brought to the world underhill and captured by the cruel Fair Folk. How will he survive and will he make it out with his sanity intact?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 43 )

Interesting read. But who the hell are the Fairy Folk?

Interesting. I always wanted to see how good ol' Lero got to Equestria.

"How strange would that be?" O ho ho ho...

winged pegasus

What? As opposed to an unwinged pegasus? That would be called a 'horse'.
You also have no indentation and multiple grammatical errors.

1999194 No indentation would be an aesthetic choice.

this... I approve of it!:rainbowdetermined2:

Oh the Fae... What wondrous and sometimes evil things they do. Knowing that The Lady apparently belongs to the Fae Court of Oberon makes things a bit more interesting. I can't help but wonder what Puck would have done.

1999134
The Fair Folk = Those that live underhill, the unseilighe, elves and fairies that aren't quite what we think of them.

1999194
It's a perfectly cromulent term. And what "numerous" grammatical errors are there? I don't use American spelling rules and the choice of language is a stylistic choice. But if you have something specific to point out I'd appreciate it.

1999146
Just my interpretation given what the others have laid before me.

1999349
Thank you.

1999411
It all depends on how you see Robin Goodfellow. My guess is he'd have some fun at everybody's expense.

People, look up Fae and Fairies in Celtic, Irish, Scottish, and Isle of Mann lore. The internet is at your fingertips.

This has been added to the group.

Well so far, I'd say its a good chapter in explaining how Lero got there in the first place. I am, however, quite glad that Luna and Celestia punished the shit out of these creatures as explained in the original story.

1999439 When you have typos where you left off a letter and it made a different correctly spelled word... I call that a grammar error.

Lero much in he same way
he noticed he room itself was odd.
his work out gear in every

Lero much in the same way
he noticed the room itself was odd.
his workout gear in every


Belerophon Michaelides
from Pantera or Megadeath and

I also consider misspelled names to be grammatical since some have multiple spellings depending on the culture. These are, however, still WRONG.

Bellerophon Michaelides
from Pantera or Megadeth and


Straight misspelled.

pain rose to a cresendo and then
by the diminuative form
Thou musn't flinch nor shy away
could muster, supressing as much of his fear
Lady ensared him.
Lero quialed, fearing
thine rainment. A banquet

Should all be;

pain rose to a crescendo and then
by the diminutive form
Thou mustn't flinch nor shy away
could muster, suppressing as much of his fear
Lady ensnared him.
Lero quailed, fearing
thine raiment. A banquet

It's only a rough list but frankly I don't care enough to try any harder.

This of course eventually led to thoughts of romance but he laughed that one away. "How strange would that be?" he thought to himself before laying his head down on the pillow and going to sleep.

Heh..
Hehha
BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAhahahhahahahahahahahaha!!:rainbowlaugh:
Oh Lero, if only you knew the hot pony action you were in for!:rainbowwild:
It'l be Kirk-tastic!!




So your leaving out his first meeting with Celestia where she antagonizes him to see if he's a threat?
Regardless, he'll still have underlying reasons to shit himself around Celestia because of "lady" and her hair.
Getting stabbed in the head then living will fuck anyone up!


:trixieshiftleft:
:trixieshiftright:
I am suddenly inspired to reread the first chapter of Xenophillia...

After about 6 paragraphs in I do have to admit that I felt like I was reading an entirely different story, but as things started to pick up it felt normal. I did enjoy the multiple ways you found to describe Lero's pain, and didn't feel like it was too over-done. Maybe could have a little less dagger stabs, but over-all I think you found a good balance. The only real nitpick that I have is that I felt like he was a little to accepting of being talked to by a pony the second time. The "first contact" was handled well, but I think he maybe should have had one more freak out moment when the nurse walked in:
*Nurse walks in, asks Lero his name*
"For a second he thought he had actually heard the pony talk"
*Nurse asks again*
*insert WTF moment* :pinkiegasp:
Nurse: "Calm down, blah blah blah..."
Overall, I give it a thumbs up and think you did a good job considering the task you set before yourself. I think it would be fine if you uploaded it the way it is, as long as the grammar mistakes (I'm sure someone has already pointed them out) are fixed. :twilightsmile:

1999712
F*****ck! Looks like I copied and pasted the wrong story. I write in notepad, copy to word and have it check the spelling then copy it over here. Looks like I might need to put a little more effort in this. And I'm usually such a good speller too.
In any case thank you. Looks like I'll be fixing them and making sure future stories are a little better checked.

1999834
There needed to be a reason why Celestia's hair freaked Lero out and made him call her "Lady". The implication being of course that the Lady, being unable to create something new simply copied Celestia's hair and used it for her own.

1999875
I thought about that but after seeing Fluttershy talking to Angel Bunny and all the sh*t he's gone through he's more than accepting that there are talking ponies out there even if he's completely in the dark as to why he's so accepting of them. And yes, it's now awaiting moderation.

2000054
Ah, I see. I thought that there was just some similarity in the hair color and movement rather than looking exactly the same.

Before I begin reading this, I have to ask if this has been signed off on, and has the approval of the original author, or those that are responsible for the original Xenophilia project here on FIM.

Nice. Another Xenophilia story!

(*reads story*)

Not bad. You get a thumbs up and a follow.

1999439
This is quite spot on with what Ive read years ago about the fey, probably even understating their cruelty. One thing for sure, there is no going home for him. He's eaten their food so his time has adjusted to theirs for a little while. Years, even centuries may have gone by back on Sol-Terra before he escaped back to a normal 3-D universe... well not quite normal...

1999270
Not a fan of indentations myself, which is why I don't use them.

And grammatical errors can always be fixed later on. At least, that's my excuse.

i've been waiting for someone to write how Lero got to equestria
good job

2000476
No I didn't, but then honestly it's not required provided you don't mess with the characters or established continuity. Our dear Anonymous Author himself said in the thread "Background Information":

As far as I'm concerned, people can take the ideas presented and run with them in any direction they want; I've insisted on very little when others wanted to write in my setting. By the same token, I may or may not follow any "canon" thus established, 'cause I'm a jerk like that.

The implication was that Lero's appearance in Equestria was due to the Fae, during his time in their world he endured torture and somehow managed to escape or they just got tired of him and let him go and that's what I wrote. If you choose not to read it because you feel I'm not respecting the author(s) then that's your decision to make

2001980
Thank you. I took what I've known and read of them from different stories and authors and tried to give something consistent with that.

2002273
Thank you. Now we'll see how well it's received by the general population of Fimfiction.

Ha Ha! Fairies!

Interesting take on this. But it doesn't look like too many people are interested. The story was okay, just missing in a little epicness.

I already suspected of the Fairy Folk as Lero´s abductors. I got an interest in them after reading "Changeling the Lost rpg" and several Neil Gaiman´s works, and I can say you have done a great work presenting a Fae noble in all her alien beauty and cruelty.

2003484
What can I say? I tried.

2004786
Thanks. I've always seen the Fae as being concerned only for themselves and no matter what they do, whether it's kind or cruel, it's because they simply feel like it. The Lady is simply in it for herself and whatever pleasure she can extract from an activity she will regardless of what that activity might be.

2003484

There is not epicness in a story regarding a Fae abduction. The human is literally helpless in front of the powerful, magical entity and usually must relly on cunning and luck to have a chance of escape (like in this case).

I think there should be more stories exploring Lero's first few months in Ponyville. To me, the best part of an HiE is when the human is revealed to the public.

I enjoyed the story. The whole thing with the Fae reminded me so much of Terry Goodkind's Wizard's First Rule and Richard Rahl's experience with Mistress Denna. It kind of scared me.

That remind me of Pratchett's "Lords and Ladies". Fairies here and there are such bastards as they described in celtic mythology.

2416355
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't borrow a bit from Pterry's work.

“Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.”

in Celtic tales fairies are evil beings

I loved this story...

bizatacora.blogspot.mx/2012/03/sinzienele-o-las-hadas-malvadas.html

That poor Lero at least happy awkward times are ahead.
Great writing, you should expand on this pre lero equestrian thing. Is this confirmed as the actual thing that happened to him by the original Xeno author?

Anyway fantastic story and thank you for sharing!

3237959
Thanks.

All Xenophilia stories, other than those written by our dear Anonymous Author & ANONponydashie are considered AU or non-canon at best. While we might use the same ideas and concepts when trying to fit a story into the Xenoverse, if they don't want it to be part of the main story then there's nothing you can do about it. But that's not to stop anybody from writing about it if that's what they want to do.

I'm just happy that I've been able to make a small contribution to what I think is one of the greatest examples of world building and clop in the same package.

3209388
In many societies fairies, elves and other creatures of the Fae were not considered to be "nice". If your ends meshed with theirs then everything would be fine. But you were only valuable to them so long as you were useful to them. The minute you had outlived your usefulness you'd be cast aside like yesterday's newspaper with not another thought given to you.

2420349 I keep horse-shoes above the doors into my house. Most of them hang upside down, or sideways - whichever is easiest to hook them over something. People ask if the luck is running out, but I just laugh. After all, I am lucky: the elves haven't gotten in yet.

3662150
Cold iron is the best way to keep them out from what I've heard. Either that or thunderbolt iron, it's definitely one of the two. Or maybe they're the same thing.

3681891 cold iron is regular iron. Thunderbolt iron has magnetic properties and is used around the portals as standing stones to keep the elves out. The power can dwindle though, and nothing gives it a boost like the dark morris.

Hmm... I was expecting something a little more... traumatizing =/

2198261
Themultiversewatcher has it right, this does have the feel of Wizard's first rule. However, I feel this should be longer or more detailed. Based on the original story and side stories, I expected Lero to have spent much more time trapped before he finally escaped. It also seems it was much too easy for him to cross over into Equestria considering how the 2 royal sisters feel about the Fae and how much effort they have gone through to prevent them from gaining access to their world.

This was simply something he'd have to get used to. For better or worse, he was here to stay. He just hoped that the ponies here would accept him and he'd make friends. This of course eventually led to thoughts of romance but he laughed that one away. "How strange would that be?" he thought to himself before laying his head down on the pillow and going to sleep.

I'm sorry but this doesn't work with the original story at all. When Rainbow Dash confessed to Lero it was obvious he had never considered the notion of romance with a pony before. I base this on the fact that he had to work out if pursuing that kind of a relationship with a sentient non-human could be considered bestiality.

4891815

However, I feel this should be longer or more detailed. Based on the original story and side stories, I expected Lero to have spent much more time trapped before he finally escaped.

Truth be told I wanted it to be longer but I'm just not very good at building suspense and the like. In truth, the way I see it, Lero spent a long time in the land of the Fae but since time moves differently there than in the real world a day there could be like 1000 years here or he might have literally exited immediately after entering.

It also seems it was much too easy for him to cross over into Equestria considering how the 2 royal sisters feel about the Fae and how much effort they have gone through to prevent them from gaining access to their world.

While guarded against the Fae there's nothing there to prevent one who truly needs escape from their realm to escape. In essence it's a way out that only mortals and those untouched by the Fae are able to cross. Or you know, plot convenience. Take your pick. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm sorry but this doesn't work with the original story at all. When Rainbow Dash confessed to Lero it was obvious he had never considered the notion of romance with a pony before. I base this on the fact that he had to work out if pursuing that kind of a relationship with a sentient non-human could be considered bestiality.

But he's not considering it. The whole idea there is that he's literally laughing away the concept that he'd ever get romantically involved with a tiny horse. It's just too silly to believe. He makes friends, gets a job, even becomes a valuable member of the community but romance? Never in a thousand years would such a thing be possible. He's dismissed the idea because in his eyes it's just too ridiculous.

Truth be told I wanted it to be longer but I'm just not very good at building suspense and the like. In truth, the way I see it, Lero spent a long time in the land of the Fae but since time moves differently there than in the real world a day there could be like 1000 years here or he might have literally exited immediately after entering.

That's not really what I was getting at. We know how time works differently in the land of the Fae, but since Lero never actually made it back to his original world there is no way to accurately judge how much time has past there between his abduction and escape.

What I was talking about is the time he spent (or perceived) as a captive. In this story we don't get the feeling that he was there for that much time. And since he still had hope in the form of his iPod, he never really reached his breaking point. Considering how much of his memory he is repressing, and how debilitating his fear is of anything that might remind him of his captivity (like Celestia's ethereal mane), I would expect he'd have spent a whole lot more time being broken down and tortured by his captors.

I'd suggest you read Wizard's first rule if you haven't already. There are some very interesting chapters in it that describe pretty much the kind of thing I would have expected Lero to go through during his time at the hands of the Fae.

While guarded against the Fae there's nothing there to prevent one who truly needs escape from their realm to escape. In essence it's a way out that only mortals and those untouched by the Fae are able to cross. Or you know, plot convenience. Take your pick. :rainbowlaugh:

I liked how warpd described in "Flesh and Thorns chapter 2" the way Celestia and Luna sealed the portal between their 2 worlds:

“I lost my knight. I lost him to an arrogant beast. She and her sister broke the rules and they need to be punished. They didn’t banish him or kill him; no they sealed him with all of his powers and properties and there is no way we can get him back.” Lady hissed as black ashy smoke started to ooz out of her eyes. “Then they unjustly sealed their world with thorns and magic making it almost impossible to travel there. To be denied such a bounty is barbaric, and for once all the other Courts agree. Though they just want my knight’s power.”

Although it doesn't explain why Lero was in such a damaged state when Fluttershy found him, that can be fixed by moving up the sealing to a time prior to Lero's escape. And it would have made sense for the 2 sisters to have sealed the portal before the events that led Lero to Equestria since in the original story it was pointed out that both Celestia and Luna had dealt with the Fae before and had taken steps to protect Equestria from an incursion.

I know that story was published after yours, but I thought the concept worked well in the context of this story and thought I'd point it out.

But he's not considering it. The whole idea there is that he's literally laughing away the concept that he'd ever get romantically involved with a tiny horse. It's just too silly to believe. He makes friends, gets a job, even becomes a valuable member of the community but romance? Never in a thousand years would such a thing be possible. He's dismissed the idea because in his eyes it's just too ridiculous.

The fact that he's laughing at or dismissing the idea means that he's at least considered it on a subconscious level. In which case he wouldn't have been struggling with it quite so much when Rainbow actually confessed.

It might have been better to write something along the lines of how being the only human in the land of Equestria meant he'd never be able to have a wife or children. And considering how close he was to his own family back home, that would definitely be hard for him to accept.

My goal isn't to poke holes at your story. I'm only trying to point out a few things that I thought could be improved. Overall, you did an excellent job with this chapter and I enjoyed reading it (otherwise I wouldn't bother commenting). I'm not an author and I don't have the imagination for crafting stories so anyone who can write a decent story has my respect and admiration.

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