Luna Is The Best Pony4,635 stories ·7,265 members
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When a mother gives birth to her second child, and first daughter, nobody suspected she was going to be an anthropomorphic pony. And when all else goes wrong, Damien, the brother of the newborn child, takes matters into his own hands to care for his little sister, no matter what. All she wants, is to be a normal human being, and live a normal life. Guess life doesn't go the way she wants it to.
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Nice......
It's different I like it (would be interesting if anthro Mane 6 were later involved or the siblings somehow enter equestria
6165841 the mane six do get involved later, and the princesses, but when or how I'm keeping a secret.
Wrong story? Or did he changed his name for one paragraph?
6166539 haha lol I can't believe I did that lol
Nice story, good job
6167632 thanks ;)
6165729 thanks buddeh!
Need more now
6168462 i might update tonight, and publish tomorrow :)
6165872 would be funny if the mane 6 assume (more rainbow dash) Damien and Sally weren't siblings (I would assume rainbow charge right at Damien thinking he had pony napped Sally
6168687 nothing like that. Lol
Most adorable. Such happy. Potential for best story, wow.
As for a title for this chapter, "Growing Up" would seem like your most appropriate option.
Big "Favourite" and "Like" from me. Looking forward to future updates!
6169104 awe thanks :) I hope to update this everyday because this story just seems special to me like I mentioned in the authors note,
6169159
Well its great you have a passion for this story :) . Certainly shows in your writing ;) .
6169245 daWw lol
So <3
6170297 I hope to update every night
6170324 yay
6171382 its gonne be hard though. I use my friend daltons ipad when he is here, but hes gonna be moving away and will rarely be able to come over. That also means i get stuck with my crappy android to use.
6171401 hmmm that is a problem I suppose you could use the library right?
6171459 i cant leave the house
6171542 oh I see that does pose an issue
So far so good, there is just one thing that puzzle e a little, Sally is three in this chapter and the other kids are like... 4 or 5 years old, but they act like more grown up kids. It's just a detail but it is a little disturbing to me
6171593 they are trying to be adults is what
6171565 yeah lol
This is certainly different from what I've been able to find before, but interesting enough. You have my attention and I'll be tracking this.
Although I can clearly see your passion for the story, a couple rounds of editing wouldn't be a bad idea. Couple of typos that just won't fit in as childish limitations in speech. Nothing too major but I still recommend going through the chapters at least on more time and then getting an editor once Sally and Damien start to get older, since developing higher standards for their thought processes and speech is nice clear way of showing their growth.
6175055 yes yes yes and yes, and was it good?
6175069 You certainly have me interested. I try not to form too much of an opinion of stories so early in their stages bu so far it has been good. I would even venture to say entertaining.
EDIT: I hate typos. And I keep making them far too often.
6175077 try having my phone.
6175126 true that I use my phone as well typo here and there
EPIC!!!
I LOVE THIS AND NEED MOAR!!!
6177058 ikr?!?!
6177247 I AGREE WITH BOTH OF YOU!
6184581 haha lololol
Good chapter, thank for this story
6193565 thanks and no problem :) don't forget to leave a like :)
6193565 unless you did already lol
Great chapter
6193644 thanks :)
6193654 it also reminds me of the time I fell down the stairs when I was 3 needed stitch in eyebrow but that's it
6193659 owie
Good chapter but,
what was the bolder word above supposed to be? Please go through the chapter again. I think I already told you that a bit awkward wording fit when describing things from a very young protagonists point of view, but it's still better check for typos.
Not to say, I don't enjoy the story. So far I have loved it, but I still recommend getting an editor since it's very hard to find all your mistakes on your own.
6197127 my phone has auto correct and it's very complicated how it works. It's a stupid android I wish I had an Apple phone. Much better.
6197158 Trying to write anything longer on a phone is pretty much a lost cause. Is there really no other tool for you write with than your phone? All the more reason to get someone to help with this.
6197213 yeah I know. And I fixed that typo to girl like it was supposed to be. Lol
Will the project continue until the story is complete? I like the story hows life for not being a human
6215599 :p
6215682
... Do you need a proofreader?
It's itonic I had feeling the father would do that even before you updated
He makes me say