Devin Hall, a former human of sound mind is randomly catapulted into the magical world of Equis in an unfamiliar body. Hopefully with some help, he will be able to find a way home or at least adjust to this new world filled with magic and sorcery. However, during his stay in Equestria he is asked to help out the nation with one of it's most important matters to date. Unfortunately, this is much easier said than done.
This is a HIE story that I just wanted to write the first chapter to. If it gains some momentum, I will continue to add chapters. Rated T for cursing and implied sexual situations. Rating may change depending on feedback.
Update: Just got a cover art for the story and I am so very proud of it! It was drawn by my amazing friend Dreamy (Link here, who you should go support by either commissioning her or supporting her on ko-fi. She is seriously an amazing artist!)
There really isn't enough of the story to really comment on the direction or potential of it. I'm not even sure what the premise is, really. All we have is a guest who is being kept a prisoner for a week and is trying to give them the silent treatment over this. If you are waiting for feedback before writing more on the idea, well, there isn't enough of the idea to know if it's worth continuing it or not.
It was an interesting first chapter. Maybe a few more and I might like it. But for now I will keep a eye on the story.
Just a thought that if you're going to continue down this line of heavy reproductive themes you might wanna switch the rating to mature.
8375176
Spite! Spite! Spite!
I'm interested in seeing where this goes.
-Ru
8375176
I don't plan on making any mature scenes in this story. Just implied situations. I prefer not to write clop if I can help it.
8375837
Mature doesn't just cover actual on screen sex but violence and heavily implied off screen sex and sexual themes
8375964
8375964
As long as the author keeps it off screen it does not need to be rated mature
Ah yes, another "Males are rare" fic... Well, this one seems to be somewhat tasteful, at least.
Well I like the concept so far so far I like it can't really give my honest opinion otherwise though you'll need at least three or four chapters more before I can say anything otherwise then I like it so far can't tell you if it's good or not though
Do you know this story says sex romance comedy and random right because I don't see anywhere where it says drama don't get me wrong I thought it was awesome that he pretty much told her to f*** off but this ain't labeled right it could turn people away good job anyway
Well I see you changed it so I'm guessing this ain't going to be a comedy since you took that off are or you going to put that on later. well either way it's nice to see took my advice not many Arthur's will do that and that's mostly where they're messed up because you get to remember two things this story is for you to have fun writing it and us to have fun reading it not just for you and not just for us it's for both a lot of people don't get that.
8391980
I was actually going to make it a comedy, but I haven't really incorporated any into it yet, so I decided to change it after your comment.
I like how the dude aint being a little bitch.
is this an alt universe where is sunbutt and the main 6?
Okay going to tell you right now that they are NOT anthro when they have feet.
I'll say this once and only once; these kinds of stories don't interest me. But you, sir, have broken the mold when you made this. Human not doormat, isn't immediately raped or fucked, gives as good as he gets. Good job, although I'll mainly be reading for the humour.
8470015
while i agree with what you said i just have a question if stories like this don't interest you why are you reading them? not to sound like a prick or anything just curious
8554591
Kinda wandered into a harem fic while trying to find a non-focused-harem fic.
8554906
aww i see thanks
Tell er, Tex.
this isn't that bad...It's actually enjoyable. good job. you gain my intrest.
whens the next chapter?
So......two hundred years after the normal timeline?
8810615
That is correct.
8810933
Wow. Can't wait to hear how Celestia screwed up.
I also wish to know when the next chapter may be released from the sands of time.
He was to nice with that retort at the end.
Good story so far, I want to know more. Keep writing it lol!
This is a really good story and I hope you continue it. One thing I recommend is telling us what species anyone is when you introduce them. I was able to figure out what species they are by what they did and how it would be nice if you told us please. ^^
Discontinued...?
I know pachtentes is key but a update would be nice
8979015
The author had joined the military and started boot camp, so he had minimal to zero access to the internet. It seems he'll be free more often now though.
9086156
... That's the best reason I have ever heard for someone to stop writing. I hope he comes back unharmed with a buff body and a head full of ideas : )
The answer is yes to both of those lol. I am in the best shape of my life (i'm sexy and I know it). And I had so many ideas in basic, that I need to find the notebook I kept them all in and figure out which story I want to write.
I hope you do make the next chapter as it’s an enjoyable story and can be very interesting
8408334
Yeah your mislead there dumbass
Chapter?
8372762 Yeah, we don't know how the prisoner got there, why they know he's a human and not some random pony making up a story, why they're restricting him to quarters in the first place, and most of all, why we should care.
Plz update
Please give us more chapters this has great potential and all who read this is eager to seeing where things go from here.
0_0 4 года, 4 чёртовых года....
Sweet new chapter.
ITS ALIVE!!!!!
You had my interest but now you have my erection........I jk but this is interesting
I understand his feelings, but he's still an idiot.
First off he's in a world that isn't his anymore and has its own rules. The magic alone is a dead giveaway and he has NO idea on what all it can do.
Second he's in a body that is different from his previous one. The fact he can't even control his own wings, and I doubt his tail, shows he's *not* fine on his own.
And third, there's the dangers of that world and the mares in it. Yeah Streamline is a trained guard and can handle her own I'm sure. But she's still just one guard. With the element of surprise anyone can take her down, and that's not even counting Unicorns since Streamline is a Pegasus.
Any chace of an update or when one will come? Curious not demanding just interested is all
Oh shoot, you're back!
...maybe I should get back in the groove too...