The names Michael, Michael Z. I was somehow transported in the land called Equestria after an accident I had which I thought I would’ve died. I don’t know how or why I’m here but what I do know is that I’m going to have one hell of an adventure. Maybe I can have new things in this world, friends? Doing awesome stuff? LOVE?! Naw, right?
Note:
I now this is a short Description.
There's just a little gore nothing to serious like: blood just to be safe.
(CURRENTLY UNDERGOING SMALL EDITS AND REWRITES)
Enjoy!!
Chapters (9)
that might go better as
"I looked down to see that my feet had also turned into hooves"
or "I looked down to see that my legs now ended with hooves too"
might go better as "Now where can i find civilization?"
"What? No I didn't! I just, uhh.... didn't the pick the right direction!"
maybe more like.... " You know, we wouldn't be in this here situation if you hadn't'a done that 'stunt' that lead ya to wind up in the Everfree."
or if you'd rather do it without the accent " You know, we wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't have done that 'stunt' that lead you to wind up in the Everfree"
how about... "The two were still arguing, not paying attention to their surroundings. Until they heard a growl. If they had been arguing any louder they would've missed hearing it."
how about "The two mares started running as three Timberwolves gave chase t make a meal of them. They heard the growls of the hungry Timberwolves behind the orange and cyan blue mares.
They ran for what felt like hours and they were out of breath, but kept on running, even though their muscles ached"
Your story has potential, but occasionally lapses in grammar. If you need a proofreader, I'd gladly oblige. PM me.
7420099
Thanks that's much obliged bro
7420053
Yeah typing all this and that is still kinda new for me though I will fix the problems
I finally get around to it, and NOONE has commented?
7527395 yea
*sees you are new to the site and this is your first fic*
Ill give some advice after i get off of work
7533925 Mkay thanks :3.
Ill just first off in your short description of your fic...
Its place not placed
7534103 Mkay
...God... damned... cliffhangers...
7550509
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I think your story could be interesting, your writing isn't as bad as other who had just started, you have a tendency to repeat the same words in the following sentences and your word turn often make things sound redundant at times. But, your writing has a certain apple and could be good to see more in the future; So I think you would need some help for writing your story so that you can improve more on the matter. You might want to possibly rewrite the first five chapter later down the line, but that will come later. So fare there isn't much that is making this story stand out from other HiE stories but that could come later on. You help your proofread yourself better I would suggest using audio read to hear what your are actually writing and to have a better sense of who you write; that method had helped me a lot in developing my own writing skill, and I think it could help you too.
Glad you got that out of the way, what would a HiE story be without some cliché ancient evil only the human can destroy?
7603869 There will be more than one evil out there. But it'll take more than just a human turned pony.
I pick AJ, because she is best Pony.
Still this guy would need to prove he is worthy.
7650364 Yes he would.
Which numeral?
Numero uno?
Numéro Jérôme Rocipon?
...
69?
Nice story.
Good story, but we're the updates. Liked.
Am I sending a reference to the Minecraft song dragon hearted
more?
good story...i hope more comes soon
Moar!!!!
Update?
it's been a while, nice to see you again. So what got you to come back for this story?
9991229
Yo, and if I’ll be perfectly honest, I’m still kinda hesitant about this story. In my head I have this really cool story I wanna tell everybody but every time I try to write one it just doesn’t work out for me. Hence why I haven’t posted in awhile. I love reading others stories and as days go by, I can slowly feel my ambition to write again. I have other stories in their works with different characters and such but this one always stuck on me y’know. Since it was pretty much my first story. I always look back at it and think, “what can I do to make it better?” “What can I do to revive this?” “How is this story going to go.” So after consideration, and writing down a ton of different ideas, I decided to finally give this story another shot. I can’t promise I’ll always be active on it but I can tell you I’m always thinking about it.
Aaaah! Thunderlane! mi prima!
(In case you didn't know, that's actually part of my ponysona's backstory.)
Aaaand it ded. How do you like your words? Baked, boiled or deep-fried?
9991761
Oh, deep-fried of course. I always tend to get the words greasy anyway.
9991773
Alister? Wasn't Blix Jewel?
more?
This story is off to a great start. Hopefully you come back and add more to it sometime.
Ok I’m excited to read this now
NOOOO!
IT HAS ROMANCE!!!
But at the same time the store is entertaining to read…
Story hasn't been updated in just over 3 years, author hasn't been online in almost a year..... yeah the story is dead, no point in wasting time reading it.
11554282
Last seen September 11th. There's a smidgen of hope.
11701644
Means nothing. There's 2 authors off the top of my head that are online almost every day, but one hasn't said a word in over 4 years, the other, almost 6 years. (Arad and Thadius0 respectively)