being a man and taking care of your kid I like where this is going
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Umm...is there a prequel or companion story to this story? Because for a first chapter, it was intense and I truly felt outrage for Zanes plight!!! Brothers shouldn't do that to their brothers!!! They just shouldn't and I truly felt bad for him!!!

Okay zane and umbras fighting reminds me of something I read once. It went like "bitch I'll fucking cut you".

This story is so bold! And its only the first chapter!

So his brother Alex was turned into an alicorn?

That scene with that bastard Alex hit every single moral outrage button I had and I hope he suffers a horrible fate after losing everything he has in his life before his hopefully brutal and long-lasting death!!!

Damn this was a nice read.

5817216 Spikes made of salt in a pool of lemon juice after getting dropped down a pit work?

This story is good!!! Please sir can I read some more?

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Yes, but first I must write the next chapter.

so, Luna's a dumb ass bitch that is too naive to see she was being used and Alex is a fucking prick that should die in the slowest and most agonizing why possible.

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Thanks for summing that up! Now to find a mallet for dear ol Alex

When us the next update

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I'm working on it, but if you didn't read my blog. I had surgery, so I'm doing my best in a hospital bed.

At least the WiFi helps.

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OMG
So sorry man I hope you get better.

I see what your doing he's going to get with umber but Luna is going to try to take them apart. Very clever.

I know Zanes pain from personal experience. I was laying in bed one night with my wife laying right next to me, her name was also Luna. I layed there in bed wondering why we have not been active for over 4 months. So after a long day at work I walk in on her in my home studio room having sex with one of my closest friends that I ONCE DARED CALLED A BROTHER

So, she starts begging me to stay, I'm stupid enough to say yes because I wanted to try and work this out, and that BITCH runs off with all my money that I had saved up and even borrowed from family and friends to open my own business!

SO YA, I know Zane feels

Good story though, sorry about hearing you are in surgery, hope you get well soon

5956386 Karma will get that bitch man, don't you worry. This story is finally something I've been looking for, awesome Saiyan.

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So you are hater on Seasons of Darkness, but you like this one....

Serious question; Have you even read the latest chapter to Seasons of Darkness, or are you one of those angry reviwers that just enjoys berating people's work???

5982993 I'm an Angry Reviewer who hates the same thing that happens over and over again, in other words your writing is good but the plot pisses me off.

Mostly because it keeps happening and I hate weakness.

As for Seasons of Darkness I have read the latest on Fanfiction but I still think you need to redo it, you know for the parts he wept like a baby and got his ass handed to him.

5982993 Going to update it soon man? Oh and for those downgrading me, go fuck yourselves.

Please continue this I love this and it's only chapter one

I approve of this story's premise and thus far execution. I would like to read more, if you would...

So will there be another chapter in the near(ish) future? Very much would like to see this continue!

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Yes

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Woohoo!

5986009 No you are a little douche that gets butt hurt about everything then threatens people with physical violence when they call you on your immature and juvenile bullshit.

For the love of Christ on a bike. Get rid of the self promotion part in your story. And trust me stories where the person knows about Equestria rarely if ever good. I love the concept of a single father in Equestria but him knowing about fanfic writers as well as knowing about the show sort of makes it meh.

6155633 Man you don't know when to fuck off do you? Well either that or you're too damn stupid to comprehend it.

Derp!

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I'm almost done with chapter two. I should have it up in one hour.

I wouldn't be surprised if Zane just snaps...damn...he's got one hell of a streak of bad luck...

This Luna just lost the right to be Luna. We shall now call her " that black pony bitch." It is her official title.

5823167 Don't forget Celestia, and thee main six for some reason. Haves to remember them.

Take SaiyanUltima for example; that bastard needs to chill on his stories. His writing is okay, his passion is a little creepy, but good god that man needs to get his head on straight and write about another pony.

I tried so hard not to laugh

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What about princess teen angst?

I wonder if his brother and Luna stayed together

You know how so many bronies write about an OC hooking up with a princess? Take SaiyanUltima for example; that bastard needs to chill on his stories. His writing is okay, his passion is a little creepy, but good god that man needs to get his head on straight and write about another pony.

Most meta thing ever and it was amazing. Thumbs up purely for this. I loved the first chapter and already fave on my list.

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Thank you very much. I was going for the humbleness of seeing my own flaws, but some did not like it.

First chapter in and I'm conflicted

Part of me is saying "No don't continue, exposition's too heavy for any lighthearted banter his daughter could serve to offset it and instead creates a maelstrom of continuous self-loathing. Any meaningful character development to form relationships will just get mired down to nothingness every time he remembers his wife, Luna or his brother."

Other parts are in debate to whether or not I want to torture myself to a possible stream of heartbreak in hopes of the MC finding meaningful happiness that in no way looks like a handout from the author.

Fuck it, I'll just check the next chapter and see how it goes.

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Whether it catches your interest or not is of your person and nothing painful to me. If you don't like it, then I hope you find something that is your interest.

first chapter.. loved it . and sombra being umbra intead makes it better and also the fact the she causes him trouble mixed with comedy to it. honestly i started laughing .

Wow... Zane either has really bad luck or his brother is involved in everything that has gone wrong for him. I really hope things don't work out between Alex and Luna and that the little $*** gets his comeuppance. He seems like the kind of guy who gets in your head and manipulate you for his personal fun. I'm sorta glad I held off on reading this till now since it means I'm more likely to actually see something happen to him rather than being pissed off about it the entire time.

You were my lover, Luna! You were my Chosen One! It was said that you would be faithful, not cheat. Bring balance to my daughter, not leave her in darkness.

Man is this story old. But I was just thinking about it and couldn't help but integrate a Star Wars quote somehow.