Luna is princess of the night. She raises the moon, and jumps into pony's dreams to see that they are ok. But one night something feels off. An odd feeling comes over her as she raises the moon and that night as she goes from dream to dream, she feels the influence of a shadowy figure stalking her. Can she set things right? Can she discover who this shadowy figure is? And what kind of dreams will she find? All these questions and more will probably be answered in this multi parter
Ok, so here's the deal. I like comedy. Especially with MLP. Heavy drama mixed with dark themes typically aren't that appealing to me. If you come in expecting that, then you will probably be disappointed. Tone and theme wise, this is alot closer to the movie Galaxy Quest. I just dont want to mislead anyone into wht they are reading this time. Enjoy!
Cool story! As far as I can see, there is only one noticeable flaw in your grammar:
patients
It should be patience. I am not a GN, but a TON of people will notice that.
Other than that, it is a good and funny story!
On my Read It Later List!
It sounds like a good story, but you might want to change the description.
It's the "advertisement" of the story, so to speak.
Most of your description makes it sound like a dramatic tragedy, so that's what most people will come to your story expecting.
Comedy lovers will probably be discouraged by the sound of the description.
But that's just a piece of advice.
5570372
Thank you very much. Sadly I'm not all that good with spelling. Almost flunked out of English twice in high school. I'll be sure to correct it as soon as its morning over here.
5570513 Yeah, I know that feeling. I suck at spelling too, but I do 95% of my work on a Kindle, so I have a very good auto-correct.
5570419
See, I get that. I'm just not really sure how else to describe it, especially since it kinda rides the line between the two. Like its got several funny moments but its also got adventure. And I'm not sure how to put it without scaring folks of either side off. When you read it, if you can come up with a better description I would love to hear it. Like I said, I'm more into comedy, and this is my first real foray into adventure so its kinda rocky.
Also, thanks for checking it out or at least putting it on the read it later list. ^_^ every time someone reads it, makes all the time typing it up worth while
5570528
See, there's a big difference between us two. I do mine on a cell phone with a bare bones word processor while waiting to start my shift again. You should see these stories when I load them onto Fimfiction. I copy paste them, then the built in spell checker on here highlights all the incorrect words. It looks like a Christmas tree coming on night before Santa.
Nice MST3K reference!
5615660
Thank you very much. I'm so glad someone actually got that. To be honest, I try to fit MST3K into everything I think I can get away with it in.