A noble dragon always abides by his Dragon Code! At least . . . that's what he thought. He would do anything to help a friend, including getting thrown off a cliff. Now he is left with nothing but a broken spirit and a hopeless dream.
How can he be a noble dragon now?
Thank you all for liking the story! I can't believe it made it onto the popular stories list! Here's to you! /)
Special thanks to DE_K for proofreading the second chapter!
Another thank you to TheDizzyDan for doing a reading of my story! Click here to check it out!
Chapters (2)
Ignoring the occasional error, I liked it! Based on the incomplete status, I'm guessing there'll be more chapters?
5524043
Thanks! I'm doing my best to not get destracted with the story, and hopefully it should be short and sweet!
5524118 I'll look forward to updates
Speaking of which, would you mind PM'ing me when you update it? Nothing goes to my email and there's an 80% chance updates will be lost in my feed.
5524241
No problem! I'm not planning for this to be a super long story, so there should be one or two more updates in the next few days.
5524292 Cool, thanks!
I like the idea. I have a smiler one in my head but instead of Spike losing his arm he becomes par riled from the waist down. You should add a sad tag only because it is going into that Spike fears the most; not being Twilight's assistant anymore.
Okey I'm listening
Interesting, gonna keep an eye on this one.
Well I'm definitely intrested to see where this goes.
Another great-looking story that—because Spike is the central character—won't be getting the attention it deserves. His current condition really is heartbreaking.
I have a similar idea that will never be written, but it's much, much darker: racist thugs break into Golden Oak Library, and because Twilight keeps Spike's bassinet at the foot of her bed like a pet, she isn't woken up in time to save him from the beating.
IRON CLAN
The super hero. . .
Rarity would be devastated
Twilight's alienated
Pinkie's deflated
Flutershy's medicated
Rainbow's grounded
Apple Bloom instigated
Let's see where it goes .
Either I missed something or that was incredibly fast paced...
this needs a review. its too fast paced, there are problems in some sentences in which you change tenses mid paragraph, and such. i feel like there are holes. you jump days, months without informing us, which can be really confusing.
5541081
Thanks for the advice! I'll make sure to go over it once I get some more free time!
As folks have said, it's too quickly paced, and oddly too. It seems like Spike was off for weeks of physical therapy, like applebloom worked on the armor for months, but AJ acted like her argument at the library was just days ago. It's all very confusing
In addition, there's a some stuff it seems like we should know but don't, like what about her family that is driving her crazy? Why is she so quick to snap and turn on someone who not only saved her life, but at near the cost of his own?
5541911
Lol. I'll get better at writing the more I practice. I'm just happy people enjoyed the story, even though it has tons of defects. Thanks for pointing out the holes!
I'm a little confused, I liked the first chapter which I thought was a good setup to a story about spike and his dragon code and him dealin with rehab etcc...and then the second chapter is a disjointed mess with lots of ooc-ness that wraps up way too quickly. Were your writing processes the same for both chapters?
As other have said this chapter fells very 'what just happened?'
The first chapter was really great, and laid the foundation for an interesting and emotional story as Spike has to deal with the very real and very difficult task of rehabilitation and being disabled. This chapter is so different it feels as though it was written by a different author.
The story moves at break neck speed and the time frames given do not match up with each other; as people have mentioned.
There is also a large amount of exposition missing that is crucial to understanding the story. Why is Applejack at odds with her family? Why did she yell at and break Spike's heart when he had saved her life had just saved her life? I can understanding her thinking his dragon code is bad in that he risked his life because of it. But her calling him useless and that others only take pity on him makes no sense. Also why would Spike try being overly helpful again. He learned his lesson on that already?
Also this is more a personal nitpick, but where are the others? A story involves Spike becoming disabled feels like all of the main 6 should somehow be involved in try to help him heal both physically and emotionally.
5550976
Thank you so much for the review! As for the characters, for some reason I tend to go one way or the other. Either they aren't there at all when they could be, or they are there when they shouldn't be. Keeping these things in mind will really help me become a better writer. Thanks for the help!
AppleJack would've never said any of these things to any of her friends, especially when one of them who he considers her to be his family had saved her life from a fully grown dragon and lost both his tail, as well as his arm as a result of saving her! For this reason I had to give this fic a dislike.