- My last submission was over 8 years ago.
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Spike finds out to his dismay that his love for Rarity may be nothing but a mere fantasy. With the help of Twilight, he soon finds a way to cope with life's harsh realities.
This work of fiction is a tranformative original work based off My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic a trademark of Hasbro. Bitter Sweet is not endorsed or recognized by Hasbro, their subsidiaries or any other publisher.
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The description is a tad bland. A simple re-wording could make it more enticing. As an example:
Here, the bland "story I wrote" is gone, we immediately have insight into what the story is about, and the second sentence puts a dramatic ultimatum on our protagonist.
Just something I threw together.
Play around with it a bit. 
5478435
You may be right
Thanks for the heads up
5478441 Happy to help!
edited: Ah I see you changed it. Looks much better and now my first post looks irrelevant.
I'm not sure why this has so many downvotes, it was pretty good.
5478704
I believe its mainly due to my direction. A Sparity fic where Spike doesn't get the gal is probably viewed as a heresy. Generally though when I downvote a fic I give my reasons as to why. I guess not everyone thinks that way. But thank you for reading it. I'm glad it was enjoyable
Only thing I didn't like was Spike not moving on. He's still latching on to false hope and Twilight is letting him.
That's not healthy at all.
The title of this fic instantly brought this song to mind.
5478759
5478747
I struggled a little bit with the place in which Spike would find himself. Then I realized that no one would move on so quickly, Not after being that attached to a dream. Reality is cruel and we're often over estimating what we can achieve, not just in love but in everything. That's sort of why I also left it as open ended.
5479193
Fair enough. I appreciate the feedback, although it may have seemed rather contrived I was going for the old renaissance way of courting. You see a lady you like from afar, you ask her to court you and in a few short days you ask for her hand in marriage. Although its difficult to put it across in a short fic it was the premise that I had created the Stallion on...
This cracked me up... perhaps its cus similar happens here all the time
otherwise I really like this. and I'm not a big fan of Rarity (sorry dude [inside jokes are awesome]) or Spike so thats quite a bit coming from me
5478704 Pretty sure it was downvoted by Sparity fans
Nice story!
5479591
Those are my thoughts as well. Although to be fair I hadn't put quite as much energy into tightening up the premise as I should have, this is one of those take it or leave it stories. However, thank you for giving it the thumbs up
5479547
Ha ha... I thought you may enjoy that little inside joke :P Glad you enjoyed it
Ah, you wanted some feedback for downvotes? Okay.
I don't actually like Sparity, so that's definitely not why I didn't like this.
The problem is this is a very bad ending for Spike. His ending is basically: "I'm glad she's happy... sorta. But instead of doing things that a sane person would do to get over her, like giving myself space or looking to other people (even if rebound relationships are usually doomed from the start) I'm going to devote myself to her more, hoping that her relationship ends and I'm there to pick up the pieces." Twilight even reports that this hope is a good thing, when in reality it is terrible and pathetic. He's going to keep following her around like a puppy who wants a bone for years, and it's going to warp his perceptions of relationships (especially given that this would probably destroy his self-esteem in the long term), and he's probably going to just be miserable for a long time, too.
And holding out hope that Rarity breaks up with who is apparently the absolute love of her life is twisted. He's wishing that someone he's supposed to really care for has a horrible life-wrenching outcome to the most hopeful event in her life. I mean, what happens if that does occur? He then starts trying to court Rarity and she... probably doesn't have any more feelings for him, so he's going to be somewhere between disappointed and angry, and could even destroy their friendship if she finds out he's been supporting her losing the love of her life this whole time.
Really, though, until that it was unobjectionable. A little unusual but very in character for Rarity for her to fall in love and get married after just a week, even if it was inconsiderate to not spread the news to her friends at least a little bit before the announcement party. Even Spike figuring out that he can accept her friendship without holding a romantic candle for her is okay, even if I'd recommend some space to help him distance himself from his feelings. But him holding out hope is not a good ending for him, and it's played as a good ending, not a sad one where he still has a lot of growing to do before he can be happy.
5479757
Very well reasoned. I must admit that i was torn between creating the happy ending vibes and letting reality simple do its thing. In most situations, people end up making the wrong choices for themselves. Their perceptions of love do become warped and sometimes they do wish for the love of another to fail for it to work for them instead, even if it may never do so. In life there is a stark difference between what we ought to do and what actually do. On those grounds, I defend the plot.
However with regards to implying that the ending was a good one for Spike I do actually agree that it was a bad decision and I will amend it accordingly in order to address the concern about moral relativity. In the very least, spreading the wrong sort of message should be rectified.
Despite whether or not you down-voted the story I appreciate the effort in critical feedback. It is after all, important to me
5479861
You're welcome for the criticism. I actually read the story last night and decided not to leave criticism out of... well I didn't want to pick on someone who might not want criticism when I'd mostly be just disagreeing with the ending.
When I was looking through a list this morning I checked out the comments and you seemed like you would be receptive to criticism, so I decided to say what I thought.
I do agree that there is a wide gulf between what we ought to do and what we do, but the often strength of a story lies in that you can express those idealized forms, or you can express that the unidealized form is in fact... not idealized, by the mood of the work or by character reaction or inevitable consequences. But, I'm sure there are some out there who disagree with the idea that doing that is good for a story, saying that if all the characters would believably make this mistake, it is just as good to portray them as happy or satisfied or lucky that the situation could turn out well even if it's highly unlikely or actively bad advice.
Anyway, I did read the new ending and it's much more ambivalent toward's Spike's plans, although though Twilight is still optimistic (I can definitely see her thinking that Spike is gonna be okay basically no matter what life throws at him... for better or for worse this is in character for her), and I do like it more.
Capitalize "Twilight."
Capitalize "I."
Place the "if" in lowercase.
"basis."
5481111
Ill get on those right away.
5480735
That's good to know. And thanks again for your feedback
5479193
5481111
Okay if the Raven thinks this is good enough to read I am mighty intrigued.
It slipped her mind? Seriously? He's had a crush on her ever since they moved to Ponyville and shows it practically all the time he's with her and the day Rarity gets married it just slips? Gonna have to disagree with you there Twilight, it kinda is her fault.
Still, a fairly decent read, and honestly at this point I can't actually see Sparity happening at all, at least not without serious soul-searching on Rarity's part.
5495119
A lot of the premise became a little shaky, however in order to keep the story short I didn't want to throw too much background into it without it sounding like nonsensical waffle.
Although I'm glad it was none the less enjoyable. I'll most likely revisit this story in the near future in order to improve on many of its aspects.
I love your story! I hope that there will be a sequal about spike get along with rarity, that would br nice!
5496174
Thank you!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I may or may not come back to it with a new story, depending on how my creative juice's inspire me. So far, there will be a few more tweaks to the story in order to make it smoother and more enjoyable.
Whelp, that right there is the only thing I found wrong with the story. Spike doesn't speak with an elevated diction like that, so it seems rather off. I'd change it to "What should I do?" instead. Brings the voice back to where it ought to be and emphasizes the question more.
Other than that, I'd have thought Twilight would say something along the lines of how this stallion is making Rarity happy, so he ought to like the guy for it, if he can get past his own rejection. I think Spike is a big enough person that he'd give the guy a chance.
Oh jeeze, dat friendship letter though. Man, now I have this image in my head of a pissed off Celestia wondering what motherbucker she's gonna have to banish for breaking her faithful student's heart!
The moment when Spike finds out Rarity is getting married is when this story went from good to great. I love it