Banished Desires
Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, wanders aimlessly throughout the Badlands, searching for anything to make a living out of. Weak, hungry, and alone, she struggles to survive with what little love she can find in this barren wasteland with barely anything living wandering about.
It's been weeks since the Canterlot Invasion failed and most of the Changelings being banished with their queen to the wasteland to be left for dead. The Changelings that remained have either been killed or captured. At this point, most of the Changelings that were banished starved to death from lack of love. The few that remain are scattered around the Badlands in the same position as their queen.
For the last few days, Chrysalis and her Changeling swarm have been on the edge of survival as they search for love when there barely is any. What's also a problem is that they cannot return home, since the borderlands between the Badlands and Equestria are guarded and their hive is in some of the remote areas in Equestria's many forests. So, without any food sources or any home to go back to, the Changelings were dying off one by one. Soon, Chrysalis, being one of the strongest amongst the Changelings, was the only one to remain and is now condemned to wander the Badlands, alone.
Chrysalis, during her wanderings, finds a small cave in some of the large rocks and decides to take shelter to rest her tired legs. The Changeling Queen inspects the inside of the cave for any predators that might have already occupied the cave. When she feels satisfied that there's nothing inside, she leans against a nearby wall and begins to take a rest. While doing so, she thinks about how miserable her life has become and wonders how her life would have been like if she were a real pony.
'How I wish I was a pony.' Chrysalis thinks to herself sadly. 'Even when I was small, when I first laid eyes on how ponies lived their lives so peacefully, I used to think that I could live like that too. But I can't since I'm not. But if I were a pony, just for a little bit, maybe my life won't be so miserable as it is right now.' With that last thought, she closes her eyes to sleep.
Images from that fateful day of the Canterlot Wedding begin to flood through Chrysalis' mind as her victory against Equestra was brutally taken from her. She began to see what those ponies were doing to the remaining Changelings that were left behind in Canterlot. They were tortured, hunted, experimented, even dissected. These images were just too horrible to bear. And through it all, a voice began to echo through her mind as it began to torment her and mock her.
You can't escape your fate.
You'll be hunted.
They'll hate you.
You are not a pony
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" Chrysalis screams as she rose from where she was sleeping, panting heavily with apparent tears flowing from her eyes and cold sweat running down her body. But before she could process what just happened, Chrysalis notices something wrong; She's not in the cave anymore. "Wh-wha-where am I?" Chrysalis questions herself as she observes her surroundings. She's in what looks to be a pleasant little village house. What Chrysalis also notices, is that she is apparently in a nice, warm bed with a soft pillow that is apparently drenched in her sweat.
But what really catches her attention is that when she raised her hooves, what appeared in front of her were not the black, holed hooves she was expecting, but rather white, beautiful hooves. In panic, she throws off the covers to examine her body, and sure enough, Chrysalis was in a mare's body. She tries to use her magic to change back into her changeling form, but finds out she can't. "Wh-why can't I use my magic?" she asks panicky "What's going on here!?" Still panicking, she starts to hyperventilate as she was never used to these kinds of situations. Finally, she lets out a frightful scream, way louder than before.
When Chrysalis finally calms down a little bit, she begins to observe her surroundings more thoroughly. The room she was in was just had a simple bedroom setting, much less than her royal bedroom when she was still posing as Princess Cadence. In the room, Chrysalis notices a large mirror and decides to examine her self more thoroughly. When Chrysalis stood in front of the mirror, she saw a beautiful young earth pony mare that more or less resembled her Changeling form, except that she is now shorter in stature and white. She turned to the side and saw a green crystal heart as her cutie mark.
"Okay, so I can't use magic and I'm stuck like this until I find out what's going on. Just perfect." Chrysalis says talking to herself. Looking at her new form, Chrysalis couldn't help but smile at herself and start posing in the mirror. "It's strange, but I feel so much peace and joy here, feelings that I never felt in my life." Chrysalis muses to herself as she is filled with emotions she never knew herself until now.
Chrysalis stops to look at herself in the mirror once more for a moment. As she gazes upon herself however, her head starts to throb a little until it becomes a screaming headache. It was so painful, more painful than the usual headaches she caused to Shining Armor at the Royal Wedding. Chrysalis holds her head trying to soothe the pain but to no avail. But as fast as it came, it left, leaving the former Changeling Queen laying on the floor in relief. With that, a thought comes out of nowhere.
"Crystal Orchid" Chrysalis says off-mindedly. It sounded foreign to her, she never thought of that name in her life, but it sounded perfect for her name.
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Dude. There's a story with the same title and cover art. This story to be exact.
yeah, you gonna have to change the art and title.
You will continue to recieve downvotes unless you change the title and cover art. Just a tip.
Firstly, this isn't your story at all now is it?
Rule number one: Give credit where credit is due, otherwise you're just plagiarizing someone else's work. And even if you had referenced this other story, I find rewrites to be incredibly uninspired and unimaginative.
Write your own story.
5486246
Actually this is third story of same name ;p
5486246 5486253 5486272 5486341 5486451 5486520
I wish to bring to light this story. Originally titled "If I Were a Pony," using the same cover art, and published before Pen Mightier published his. Exactly what inspired Arreis to change their title and cover art while Pen kept his, I don't know, and really, it doesn't matter.
All the stories related to this were inspired, on some level, by the PMV If I Were a Pony, which was published before any of the stories were.
Having read this story, I find I don't particularly care for it — I don't like present-tense outside of first-person narratives and the pacing is too quick for me — but I likewise find that it is, indeed, not a rehash of Pen Mightier's; this fact suggests that none of you actually read it before blasting it.
Taking into account that it is not the only story on this site that shares a title and/or cover art with another, no, Ragegamer does not need to change either in order to stop receiving downvotes. He just needs for other people to actually read what he writes before they claim he's a copycat when he obviously isn't.
5486622 it's mainly how quickly these stories popped up at once.
5486628
We both know that's not an excuse for the response this story has received thus far.
Really? People are bashing the story simply due to the fact that it matches the title(and coverart) of two other stories? REALLY? That's...disappointing. Now, mind you that it is similar to its two predecessors but still, c'mon. I read the story. Not bad. Not my story. Doesn't mean I'm going to down vote just because of its title and coverart.
I'm disappointed fimfiction.
5486638 All i've said that he should rename it and change he coverart. note I have not downvoted it at all. haven't read it.
5486638
I'll retract my statement of plagiarism now knowing this. However, I must confess to my dislike of said "Inspired works". There's a difference between writing a story set with the same premise as another, even as a spin-off, eg; the FoE universe, as apposed to rewriting a story with the same title and cover art with the same character. Even with a few tweaks here and there, I still feel as though you're simply being unimaginative.
I would defend his work to the T if it was entirely original. But it isn't, its just lazy.
Same art and same name just days from the story posted by Pen Mightier is just... rubbing salt in the wound...
In fact, I'd like to add further.
I still defend why I down-voted this. In no way or form had the author sought to credit his work as inspired. It matters little whether it was based off Pen Mightier's work or a PMV. You still give credit for work that isn't original. His Title and Cover Art is no excuse for a supposed "give away". Not everyone is aware of all original works, so you make them aware. For all intents and purposes, had I opened up this Fic with no prior knowledge of the PMV or any other fan related work, I would have thought this story to be original.
There was no effort to reference any works on the Author's side other than the cover art (Which by any estimation could have been his own commission to the ignorant). I call that deceptive. Willful or otherwise.
Okay, I've been reading the comments that have been posted here and, I just want to say sorry. Truthfully I wasn't really intending on "Plagiarizing" or anything like that, I'll admit that I was kind of running blind with writing stories but, this was mostly from watching the PMV. I also saw that you guys are saying that I wasn't really giving credit to the author OR artist. I already GAVE credit to the artist, as for the "original author", I don't know what you're talking about, Like I said, it's mostly based on Vavacung's PMV.
As for the comments that are going on the quality of this apparently forsaken fanfic, I just don't know much about writing a good fanfic. Sure I get the gist of it but thats all. I get that the pace is kind of quick but again, this is my first time. I can't get good storylines, my stories don't make sense,
In addition, this was pretty much my headcanon on this thing. Other than what I've already mentioned, I don't know what else to say other than I'm canceling this god forsaken story. It's gotten way too much negativity for my comfort. Hopefully my second attempt won't be piece of shit.
5486812
I just read your first chapter. It's not bad. it's also NOT the same as the other story by the same name. what I recommend is that you rename this fic and possibly find a new cover art. It's an enjoyable first chapter and I think along of your down votes were... undeserved. Even though you've canceled it heres an upvote for you. I hope you reconsider.
Have a nice night
FE
I like the idea of this story, like for that.
But I think especially the first part of the chapter was a bit too short. It felt like you tried to rush trough the happenings.
5486622 When did I "blast it"? I was simply pointing out that most people who read the title and saw the cover art would downvote. Also, I did read the story before commenting.
Why is it that the majority of the Internet mistakes friendly advice for hate?
How did this get past moderation?
Reported.
5487257
memecrunch.com/meme/697/because-aliens/image.png
Just because a story has the same title and cover art is not grounds to report it for plagiarism. 5486812, you're fine.
Everyone else, knock it off. Thanks.
5487257
You know, you're right. My comment, on a second read, is actually pretty hostile, and none of us have been very friendly to each other (at least a little embarrassing, considering our fandom).
Friendship Mulligan?
I'm sorry to see this story cancelled because people are assholes who won't shut up about something that they feel they have realized before anyone else.
That being said I think the idea for this story is good in concept but you need to work on your technical writing skills.
Frist pick a tense, past or present, and stick with it, switching between the two makes things confusing.
Second, watch your pacing and maybe describe some of the events in more detail. As long as you don't take too long giving the description will help readers relate more to the story.
Third, watch your grammar. I can't think of specific instances but you need to be careful how you word things in order to prevent throwing your readers out of the story.
This story had tons of potential, perhaps you may consider returning to the concept in the future?
Nice