Behind the eyes of a monster

by Kotatko von Drapek

Chapter 4 - Finding a little light in the darkness

HERE IT IS, FILTHY PIGLETS!

Chapter 4 – Finding some light in the darkness

„Sooooo you’re having dinner?“
„I invited you here only because our best scientists want to know about your specie- “
„Sooooo you wanna know ´bout me?“
„I have got enough of you, ple-“
„Sooooo where to start? Yeah...“
„Please don-“
„Oh yes i know where! Well, i once dated a girl with a dick“
Several of the important looking ponies changed their expressions.
„Here we go...“ said Celestia.
„Well, first i didn’t know she had a dick, but then it changed after we went to her place. First, I was disguted.“
„And then happened what?“ asked one of the ponies.
„Then i said what the heck, and we did it in the butt.“
Several scientists made disgusted notes.
„If yer not gonna eat that, give it to me.“
„You can order food here, Samuel.“ said the ruler. Suddenly, a few waiters rushed near.
„Okay, soooo... I’ll have a beef steak, medium rare, with french fries...“
„Your species eat meat?“ asked one of the scientists.
„Yeah, we eat everything we can digest, atleast i do. Some sissies are scared of eating meat ´Becaaaaaause animals have a soooul´ and such bullshit.“
„That is so ignorant and discusting!“ said a one female unicorn.
„Maybe for you, but nothing is better then grilled beef and cold beer. Give me the menu, i’ll see what is not discusting for you.“
One of the waiters handed him the Menu
„FUCK’A‘DUCK!! Why is everything here with fuckin‘ hay?!“

„I knew that it will end like this!“ yeled angrily the alicorn.
„Please dont get angry...“
„How can i NOT get angry when somepony complains about the rock music and you take a guitar out of nowhere, climb to the table and start playing as loud as possible?! Buck!“
„It’s fuck.“
„I will say it as I want!“
„You’re so cute when you get angry“
„Stop.“
„Really cute.“
„Very fuckable.“
„Stop. Please.“
„I can imagine your cute little face biting the pillows when i ram my-“
„Shut. Up.“
„Mmmmm...... I hope that you don’t have herpes. Took me four years to get rid of that.“
„How could you think of me having something like that?!“
„Cute little bugger....“
„Stop it!“
„I can see your face turning red right now. You want it, riiiiiiiiiiiight?“
„With you? Never.“
„Why not? I got everything you could want. Money, power, a place to live in, full of natural resources...“
„I have that all too.“
„I’ve got more!“
„Prove it.“
„Lets get to the fucking vortex and i’ll show you!“
„I am never again going to the fiery hell you call hom-“
He suddenly picked up his electric guitar again, and started playing.
„Welcome to the junge! We’we got fun and games! We’we got everything you want! Ow do we know the names-“
„Not your stupid monkey songs again...“
„We got the people that can find, whatever you may need. If you got the money, honey, we’we got your disease.“
„Stop!“
„Welcome to the jungle, welcome to the jungle! Watch it bring you to youre kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kna-kneeeeeees! Kneeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! I want to watch you bleed...“
„Done with your little episode?“
„Yeah. Oh, the place i started living in got accidentaly somehow burned to the ground...“
„Sister! What is the source of thine noises in thine midnight hours-“
„Wazzup?“
„What is a monkey doing inside your private chambers?“
„That is a long stor-“
„Do i look like a fucking monkey to ‘ya? Well, we evolvved from monkeys, but still – I am not a monkey.“
„Well...“ said the blue alicorn.
„Give me a second...“
He rushed out on the balcony.

„I, will count to 5. Then you will come out or you’re dead.“
„One.“
„Two.“
„Three.“
„Three and a half.“
„Three and three quarters.“
„Foooooour...“
„Okay okay, I’m here.“ Suddenly, a cyan pegasus appeared.
„Good. How fast can you run?“
„What?“
„How fast do you run? Does your little peanut head understand that?“
„Oh! I’m the fastest in the whole Equestria!“
„We’ll see about that... I know that you are spying on me for the two horrid day’s i am here. So... Do you have time tommorow morning?“
„For what?“
„For a little competition.“
„What competition?“
„You’ll see...“

„Good morning Dashie, you had probably seen this on my back before.“
„Yeah... Is that the thing that makes lightning and destroys other things?“
„Yes. A 40mm anti material rifle, capable of being used as a machine gun if a ammo belt is attached. Very powerful, tears trough anything you point it at. Bullets are using miniature nuclear bombs instead of black powder, weapon is capable of shooting at range up to seven kilometers, can be remote controlled when on a tripod.“
„Kinda cool, i guess. Why do you have that here for me?“
„To see how fast can you run.“
„Heh, i can show you without that.“
„It’s less fun then.“
He picked up the briefcase up, and opened it. Inside was a laptop, with a little joystick built in, with a big red button labeled „BOOMSTICK.“
He emerged the antenna, connected the cellphone in, and dialed a number. Suddenly, the giant weapon came alive.
„Check this out.“ he said.
He typed something in, pressed ENTER and the weapon automatticaly pointed at Dashie’s head. „Run.“
„W-W-What?“
„You heard it, run.“
„No!“
„What? You’re scared? The best pony from all over the world is scared of running?“
„I’m not!“
„Then run! If i shoot your brains out at this range, my clothes will get dirty. Blood is a real pain in the ass if you want to clean it.“
„Ah! Hahahahh. I get it now! Nice prank.“
„Ha. Ha. Ha.“
He aimed the weapon on the ground under her, and fired. The deafening thunder made a big hole in the ground, and the dust blinded Rainbow. After a moment of coughing, the dust was gone.
„Should i explain it to you once again? Ten seconds, then i start shooting. Run!“
Rainbow Dash started running the two miles towards the forest. Then, he removed the five round magazine, unlocked a hole for the ammo belt.
„Hmmmm... Armor piercing... Useless. Incideary? Nah... Explosive rounds? Hmmh...“
He walked towards the trunk of the car, picked up the box, and placed it to the left side of the gun. He opened the box, and loaded the 2000 round ammo belt.

Rainbow Dash stopped running. It was over thirty seconds now. „All talk but nothing. Lame.“
Suddenly, the ground two meters from her exploded. Then she heard the roar again. She started running towards the forest again. Only a half now, she thought. The ground exploded again. And again. Then the hell started. Everywhere was chaos, pieces of dirt and rocks flying around. „AOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! PIECES OF HELL FOR SALE, AT 750 ROUNDS PER MINUTE!!“
Then he stopped firing. The barrel was completely red now. He pressed the icy blue button. Suddenly, a long burst of fire erupted from the right side of the weapon. The cooling system worked perfectly as always.

Rainbow dash was in the forest already. She heard yelling. „You alright?“ Suddenly, Samuel appeared with one of his sadistic smiles. „That... Was... AWESOME!“ she bursted out. „We’ll work together well, if you wont spy on me anymore. Come on, i’ll lift you home.“

„You’re not coming in?“ she asked. „Nah Skittles, i have some little fun plans.“
„Yeah? I’m coming too!“
„No you’re not!“
„Why not?“
„It’s personal.“

He sneaked in fairly easily, all his weapons packed and armour on. She was sitting on the big sofa, slurping tea and reading newspaper. He crept up right behind her, unstrapped his gloves and helmet. Then all the weapons on the floor behind the sofa. He waited a moment for her to put the tea on the table, and then he jumped on her. „Surpriiiiiise!“ he yelled, and before she could scream he was sitting on the sofa and herself lying on his lap. „What are you- NO NOT THIS! IT IS WORSE THEN TORTURE!!!“ she screamed. „I’ve ran trough your medical records.“

„No no please stop-“

„I know every single thing about you.“ he said with his trademark smile. „Pricess is everything alright“ suddenly a guard rushed in. „No it’s no-“ she suddenly squaked. „She’s alright! Look how happy she is.“ he interrupted. „I’m no-“ Celestia tried to speak, but suddenly erupted in laughter again. „How can this be bad? Look at her! Now get the fuck out and make me a sandvich.“

It took a few moments and Celestia turned into a little drooling pile of laughter. „Enough tickling?“ Samuel asked. „Yes...“ she answered. „It’s rainy today. Makes me sleepy. *yawn*“ he said, but did not recieve no answer. He looked at her asleep in his hands. „Why is this so goddamn adorable?“ he muttered to himself. He stood up, placed her on the sofa, and covered her with the hooded armoured duster he had on. Then Sam took a seat nearby, and felt asleep.

There we go, a little conversational chapter. Sorry for taking so long!

Comments

[Kotatko von Drapek]

The name is ugly, should i change it?

[Darkest Bleak]

716752 nah

edit : 2nd

[Cortex]

Even for all the fucked up fuckedness this story contains as mistakes, mostly grammatical ones, I salute you for creating this wonderful piece of art.

Also, was that a hinting at a possible Cellyshipping?

Logging out.

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

[Kotatko von Drapek]

771291 Possible Cellyshipping? GOOD IDEA!

[Kotatko von Drapek]

771291 Also, thanks. Because you are probably the only one liking this.

[Cortex]

778474

I tend to have diffrent tastes that every one else out there. Perhaps becouse I do not have tastebuds. But I digress.

And there is not enough CellyxHuman ships out there my good sir, so you have the full support of the Machine-God behind you if you pursue that venue.

Go ahead, do something outside the "flow".

Bronies were supposed to break out of the average joe stereotype by becoming bronies, we are we having the "stream of normalness" in here then?

Go ahead, do what you want, it's your fic. And if everyone else stops reading it? I'll still be here.

So do not fret and do what you think is right. Don't let yourself be confined by overused ways that a fic is supposed to follow.

Logging off.

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

[Kotatko von Drapek]

778493 Thank's for your support, i WILL probably make another (short) story with CeleSam, but dunno. And because my grammar sucks, interested in pre-reading ?

[Cortex]

778509

Sure, just remember that I, the wonderful superior Machine-God, tend to procastrinate and divert my attention a lot, so I might have the outcome delayed by a bit.

But yeah, fire away.

I shall PM you the email you should send me stuff in a moment.

Oh, and try to add a bit into the story telling and descriptions, becouse dialogue alone won't get you far. Just a small though of input.

Logging off.

-Sixteen, The Binary Scourge

[Kotatko von Drapek]

778603 Sure thing, ill add finally some plot to the story, not just slices of Sammys life in Equestria, that will get it to nothing. Probably something with Discowd or something like that.

[Kotatko von Drapek]

Sorry guys, but this is a bit on hold. Im on a vacation now, and no time for writing. When im home at the end of the week, ill unleash the fury.

[Ulquiorra Schiffer]

878998 but u didnt write goddamnit

[Lord of Something]

this us such a weird story...
I LOVE IT!
now ci.memecdn.com/946/4036946.jpg