This stories description will be edited a lot. I have no idea where this story is going, but so far it's been going well.
Shayne, a college student has been in the worst times of his life. A mysterious voice contacts him on a hospital bed, and everything that happens next changes him.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great story, i like where its going.
To help with your writings, i reccomend changing celestias voice to italics or any disembodied voice for that matter, or any thoughts. or thoughts can be in 'these things' either way this is just a suggestion. Tracked
324540
I actually havent been able to change it to italics... I'm not so sure how :D whenever i do i get this thing in brackets and such... I left it there once, and continued on with the typing and adding the 'italics' but when i published it and went over it, it didnt show. I did this twice before i decided to figure it out some time later. Thanks for reading though, sorry for the screwed up shizz i got going on.
Thank you
Sean's POV has a HUGE lack of paragraphs, besides that, I guess it's readable. Not too many errors altough when Sean went to save Shayne, you wrote that SEAN had a metal pipe or something like this when it actually should be Shayne.....
P.S. also.... Sean and Shayne? those names are too similar, Im afraid to confuse them eventually
324613
Sorry about that i guess thats the
side of me, i'll fix that paragraph now, and i've fixed the SUPER LONG paragraphs, in the third chapter. I was kinda rushing through. So It'll be better, thanks for letting me know, and next time i make a story, i'll keep in mind to make the names different. Thanks for reading though 
ok..... find the contradiction here
That's called a cutie mark, you'll get it when you discover your special talent. Mines is a moon, and I raise the moon when its time. My sisters is a Sun because we don't want night to last forever, so when the time comes, she raises the moon."
it's an easy one
oh and looks like Pegasi are what most human-turned Ponies tend to become..... wonder why they so popular...
looks like a mix of 55% Pegasus, 40% Unicorns and 5% Earth Ponies as far as OCs go.... I still don't know why....
Well you were going strong, not that its bad...its just i have a problem with humans being turned into ponies.
i'm very sorry but i'm gonna have to stop. i love the story, ill watch it but... yeah, i love human in equestria stories, but humans being turned into ponies in equestria is not my thing.sorry again.
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Oh trust me... I have something planned :)
oh...now im interested again.
please don't disappoint me
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No worries
now im worried. thanks alot.
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To change to italics, put this around the text. Put your text in the middle of the code there.
If it doesn't work, I'll just explain it.
Put a square bracket, with an i inside, and then another square bracket, so it makes a kind of square.
Put your text it.
Do the same thing, except after your first square bracket, put a forward slash, then the i.
There you go. Hope it helped
325992
Thank you so much! I thought I'd never get the answer! Ok I'm starting the editing now.
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Hmm... good one, I did my best to fix the problem, but for the pegasi thing, It may be because most humans want to fly (like me, if i had wings....) some may prefer to have magic (twilight once gave rarity wings) and for people who choose earth pony, i dont know. maybe they want to make something original. Thats all i got for it.
"Hello this is tessa"
"Hello it's sean"
"Oh hi, sean how are you"
"fine, but i don't think we should date anymore"
"WHAT!?!?!? Why?"
"My friend needs me"
"Burn in hell sean"
(hangs up)
"It went better than expected"
Other than the odd spelling mistake, the story is looking good so far im enjoying it.
330487
I have a blog keeping up on this story, check it out so you can see current ideas or you can pm me things too. I want this to be a reader based story. Of course if I get an idea that won't really work out or turn the story around too much I may not take it. All these things are comming from the top of my head, and they're all unplanned. So expect random stuff 
I'm glad you do :) hopefully I get better when it comes to spelling and grammar and awkward sentences, but I'm improving. I'm making an update right now so
Why must u torture with not knowing if there is a human equestria, im dying in suspence and cancer. cancer is a hell of a disease, luckily im fine...no cancer for me.
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Tomorrow is going to be a saturday marathon so if you have any ideas now is the time to post pm me about it.
But, how is she soo rich? I;m soo confused, but iv'e decided to stay.
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It's all going to come down to a- I'VE SAID TOO MUCH! Anyway. It'll be mentioned later.
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kk good to know.
Great chapter, is he in rorschrach's cave, i just read that before this.
MOOOARRR for saturday Mare-athon.
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Is that from another fanfic? Because I do not recall that name rorschrach. I do like what you did with marathon. Do you mind if I use your idea of marathon and switch it to Mare-athon? Its really clever and I'm suprised I hadn't come up with it! But no. This is just a random abandoned cave. and thank you for your feedback!
335104
Yes it is from another fic, "Rorschrach in equestria", its about a guy from the movie "Watchmen" after he dies, going to equestria. he is human.
The Mare-athon thing i think i saw on Equestria daily, and the Hub channel at one point. Cool that u like it.
335130
Ok, hopefully I won't get copyrighted for calling this mare-athon! haha! My head feels fine so far, and i'm in the middle of writing yet another chapter for the saturday 'mare-athon' again, thanks for reading!
Peanut Butter!, kidding loving the story keep it up
YAY u said my name. I'm soo happy. Great chapter, i hope we hear more from our survivor, Sean in the next chapter.
I also can't wait to see shayne fail at playing his instruments, cause he has hooves.
Ha lol's this gotta be interesting
335999
Glad you're liking the story so far! I'm debating on so many things. Wrote almost 4 pages of notes on the pros and cons of whats gonna happen.
a very... interesting story I have to say
Keep it up!
looking good, cant wait for the next chapter
This is getting a very good story, good job thus far!
Hussah for new chapter
Don't comment that, responses are better!
humm truble mind here... if you are a pagasus how are you gona pull off the fine details of tecnologie i think you would have been more use if your where a unicorn than you could ask twi how to use the wing spell and your still capleble to fly.... thats my POV but hay it your story ^^
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I'd tell you but then I'd ruin the story (seeing where you are currently in the story
nice chap... and i'll let you know when i got something for you ^^
uhm... here a sugestion... if you gona go like thinking in your mind you could do somthing like (this) or -this- maby *this* or ~this~ it would clear things up a bit ^^
I think lieing to her would be easier on her. She won't need to know where I'm going, but its almost sundown.
lying-lieing
hsi favorite instrument in orchestra would be the cello,
his-hsi
I did leave a suprise look on my face when he cussed.
cursed-cussed
and lol on the ending... only missing thing was the '' second to late- Z''
its a asome story... damn same if it ends ... w8 how long are you planing to keep this going?
sonic-storm??? wherent it sonic-tunder?
(\
and someone pls give him some ritalin i dont whant this to end /)
and then he finds out having hooves aint that great >.< XD all the wile
... thats a shame he could walk on clouds. would have like to see him getting couped up with zecora... ^.^
344937 345616 seems that you got some good intell in to the story huh? TNX for that...(AppleMLP) but it would be more of a clifhanger if you yust mention a dak figure lurking with in the shadows flaring it wings and illuminating horn... hearing a cry for forgifness... somthin in that line next chapter you would have some sort of training chapter to how he got his power ^^ first i tought it was discort... but the moon cutiemark trowed me off thinking nightmare moon... but its talking about a ''he'' so i asume its discort >.>
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For your comment in chapter 8, she was deciding his 'pet name' for him
As always, please mention any errors you see, and comment your responses to the chapter here! It really helps us, and also motivates us to keep working to satisfy the readers! Thanks for reading!
Good chapter, although i saw some...how do i say it, umm, yea i don't know.
nice chap... but i tink you need to slow down a bit to much is going on at the moment O.o... for you know it you lose your self in it all ^^ but gread nontheless
RD! Why are you such a ho?
324628 htjdbvoci jtcgfoivbgjl dtgjvobk dtgfpibjvdotkygfbihutpyoigfbjlotrjgudbhtjgovihbuh THE BUCKING WALLS OF TEXTTTTTT.....
meh. Other than that.... Cool story bro.
I'm sleepy as holy hell!