The Assembled Letters of Twilight Sparkle, Protégé of Emperor Discord

by Caligari87

Letter 7

Honorable Emperor Discord,

Ponyville’s cold snap didn’t last much longer after I last wrote you. It’s actually been pretty mild lately, although there was a lot of excitement over a flock of spoons digging tiny holes all over town.

As planned, I visited the castle again this week once the way was safe. Per my previous intention, I decided to take Rainbow Dash with me and ask about her opinions on Friendship. Unfortunately, while she’s very talkative, it’s hard to get a word in edgewise or change the subject away from daredevil stunts and flying.

Upon arriving, we examined the gem tree again. I’m concerned to report that the magical field around it has grown marginally stronger, and Chaos magic now hardly works at all within the walls of the castle. I don’t want to speculate on the reasons why, but it worries me a bit. Maybe your powers could help slow the growth of the magical field somehow? Mine aren't able to effect any change on it.

Otherwise, the visit was uneventful until we tried to leave; on our way out of the castle, a pack of timber wolves noticed us and chased us back inside! Rainbow was able to avoid them by flying through the broken ceiling, but I was trapped.

I thought I was done for, but Rainbow came back with a large branch and beat the timber wolves into splinters. Not a permanent solution, but it gave us enough time to get away. I inquired why she was willing to risk herself to come back for me; she said she considers it paramount to stay loyal to her friends and not leave them behind.

We managed to make it back to Ponyville without any further issues, although I’m really tired now. That leaves Fluttershy to ask about Friendship; hopefully I can find some time with her in the next few days.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

Author's Note:

So, it has become apparent to me that this story is a bit bigger than I anticipated, and I fear the stage it's playing on is too small. Letters and journals are interesting, but lack the immediacy and drama of prose, and the journals are quickly taking over the bulk of the story.

Because of this, I'm considering revamping the story considerably. The letters and journals would remain, but they would be integrated and/or rewritten into actual chapters with a larger perspective, wider focus. I think my preferred course of action would be starting a new story, and using this as a supplement for just the letters and journals when they show up in the main storyline.

I've written a whole other journal already, but it's grown beyond the scope I anticipated, which is what prompted this feeback request. Just curious what any passing readers think of a new direction, before I continue on this route.

Thanks everyone for the discussion! I'll be sticking to letters/journals for now, but keep on the lookout for something bigger soon.

Comments

[MetaSkipper]

On one level, this was birthed of letters and journals, and so I'd be a little sad to see the format change.

That said, if you think the story is better told with a mix of journals and standard prose, go for it.

[Caligari87]

5340083
That's very true, and I want to find some way to preserve it. Perhaps I'll nerf my ideas slightly for now and take the letters to a satisfying conclusion/jumping-off point, then write another story as an expanded/extended version of the ideas I have in mind. As-is, with the direction the story wants to go (it's a little out of my control, lol), Twilight wouldn't be writing letters to Discord much longer, and the resulting events would be too large in scope for even just the journals.

[Willfire]

Making a real story out of these, I wonder if you can keep the chaos from taking over the story. If you can put some order to the chaos (pun intentened) then I think this would make a good story over all. I would love to see the attempt. :)

[IMN]

5340118

I thought you'd be doing that a lot earlier than this. From the first few chapters I realized the ridiculous potential of this story has and that keeping it in journals and letter form wont be enough.

With that being said, I adore your story and how it's going. Regardless of the format you wish to continue I wish to see it through to the end.

[shadowfalcon76]

I was kinda liking the idea that we're just as limited in our perspective of things as Twilight is, especially with not knowing if Discord is going to reply or not, or what he's thinking about what Twilight's sending him (if he's even reading any of the letters). Kinda brings about its own form of suspense and conflict.

Another form of conflict that's subtly being manifest here is Twilight's attempts to reconcile her studies of Chaos with what she's experiencing from the rest of the Mane Six, and how her interactions with them are slowly but surely empowering the Tree of Harmony. She's still attempting to directly oppose it, while not realizing it's her interactions that are stymieing her own efforts. The realization that she's essentially the catalyst for a directly opposing force against her own teachings and alliance with Chaos is bound to cause all kinds of havoc in her mind.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is that, while the desire to break out past the format and tell a larger story is well understood, I believe you have a good story as it is. This format with the letters and journal entries gives us a limited, yet intimate, look at Twilight's thought process and dealings from what is purely her perspective. The fact that we don't get the whole entire story drives a sense of suspense as our imagination fills in the gaps, and as Twilight begins to deal with more of the situation, and ponders her confusion as to Discord's lack of response, we directly feel her emotions right along with her as we, too, wonder what he has in store for her, and what his motivations are in sending her to Ponyville.

[Violet Frost]

I'd prefer if you used this story as a lead up to a bigger story and keep it out of prose until that story. There is a charm to working with letters after all and like other readers have stated I'm enjoying the intamacy we as readers are expirancing with Twilight Sparkle.

[Fluxxdog]

The way it's been reading, it's been like a lead up to something big. It's like we're privy to the events leading up to the beginning of something grand.

[Caligari87]

Well, I'm seeing a lot of preference for letters, and since it would require a lot of backtracking to do otherwise, I think I stick with that for now.

5340581
After applying some thought, I believe this is how I'm going to take it. Although I'm eager to get to the meat of a larger story, there is still a lot of room to explore here. Maybe not 10k words, but at least a decent handful more of journals and letters before things get really serious. At that point, I'll probably spin off into a sequel/continuation.

I'd really like to thank everyone for contributing ideas and encouragement; I haven't had a decent spurt of creativity in a long time, so this is very cathartic and enjoyable to work on.

[Via]

So, it has become apparent to me that this story is a bit bigger than I anticipated, and I fear the stage it's playing on is too small. Letters and journals are interesting, but lack the immediacy and drama of prose, and the journals are quickly taking over the bulk of the story. Because of this, I'm considering revamping the story considerably. The letters and journals would remain, but they would be integrated and/or rewritten into actual chapters with a larger perspective, wider focus. I think my preferred course of action would be starting a new story, and using this as a supplement for just the letters and journals when they show up in the main storyline. I've written a whole other journal already, but it's grown beyond the scope I anticipated, which is what prompted this feeback request. Just curious what any passing readers think of a new direction, before I continue on this route.

Bigger is better. Sometimes.
Most of the time.
Usually.
It is in this case.