• Member Since 19th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen March 17th

SleepIsforTheWeak


I want to be a lion, everybody wants to pass as cats. We all want to be big big stars, but we got different reasons for that...

T
Try

This story is a sequel to Just Give Me a Reason



It had finally happened.

Of course it had. Naturally. They’d been heading towards the big tipping point for months.

She was only surprised it had taken months.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

I liked it personally.

That was ................ Really well written.
The pacing is really good, the concept is interesting, I've never read something like this on this site.
And you hate this?

Perfectionists are almost never happy it is an unfortunate by product of the condition.

I thought the overall result was very good. The pacing is very effective in setting the mood and you can sense Dash's desperation.

Sad to see Dash is missing Pinkie so much but on one hand we feel good about Dash and Rarity getting back together but you also have to wonder if this is a good thing for them or is this like the classic the one partner convinces the other to stay saying "things will be different" and all it does is end up hurting both in the long run. I guess they will have to find out. Hopefully it is for the best.

Hmm checking the previous story there was no mention of Pinkie there so this is all new in that regard. Makes me wonder what happened to her and how this story will relate to that (it sounds like this is part of a series so I would think that would be set up for the future).

The reality of this is scary...:fluttercry:

6953909
It's been three months since JGMaR. Shit happens. I wanted some other underlying stress besides Rarity for Dash, just to kind of explain her moodiness and discontent. I think it was a good call, and I'm pleased with myself for putting it in, and the way I wrote it.

The "Pinkie and the Mane Six travel back to her hometown because her father/mother is on their deathbed" is an idea I had for a story very, very early on in my being on FimFiction. It was going to be a PinkieDash story, as all stories of mine were back then. And, well, I guess now this ties into it. Aaannnddd, now I kinda wanna write it. Damn.

6953331
There's about a page long list of nitpicks that I can give myself in regards to this story. Some of them bothered me so much that I wanted to stop writing it.

But I won't tell you what they are. There's no point because I know I will never be satisfied, even if I go back and fix them it'll change the story entirely, and, well, I'm kind of sick of working on it, and people like it. So thank you for the compliments.

Hot damn! Welcome back with an amazing story!

6955105 Thank you, thank you. *Flexes* feels good to be back into the swing of things. The story ideas are flowing once more, and it feels right. How you been?

After reading the prequel to this I was really hoping that they would finally break off in this. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit disappointed at them getting back together again, but that has to do more with personal feelings then the quality of your writing. It's probably because I was hoping to see a story with a relationship being completely broken off amidst all of the regular shipping stories.

I also don't see this relationship being very healthy for them and they should have moved on like adults. Then again, you did portray them as very flawed so it's not as if they have to make the most sensible decisions.

Even if this story didn't end the way I personally wanted to, I have to say that this story and its prequel are some of the most unique shipping stories I have ever read on this site and I quite enjoyed them. They were also both very well written on a technical level. I'd love if there were more shipping stories as unique and interesting as this. I'm actually kind of glad the story ended this way instead of the way I expected/wanted. I like the ambiguity of whether or not they made the right choice in getting back together. Makes it all the more unique then them just breaking up. Nice work.

6955609 Ahhhh. Someone finally hits the nail on the head. Indeed, I too wanted them to break it off. I wrote the last thousand words of the story when I first sat down to write it, and it was the type of work that even I patted myself on the back for. They were to make love for one last time, Rainbow was to beg Rarity not to leave her, and Rarity was to coax her into breaking up anyway. I was very proud of the scene.

However. I got... oh... 7k words into it, and decided that I was killing the creative process by having to bend the story from its natural conclusion to fit the premade one. I hit my head against the wall for days, I stared at the story and brainstormed for weeks, I took many showers (showers is where I have my greatest eureka moments), but I couldn't tie it together in a graceful way that didn't feel (and read) utterly forced. Plus, I'm terrible at writing sex. It was perhaps part of the problem.

So I swallowed my pride and regretfully deleted the ending and made one that was more natural. Stephen King wrote in the introduction of his book 'Salem's Lot that "Writing controlled fiction is called "plotting". Buckling your seatbelt and letting the story take over, however... that is called "storytelling"."

And it has been proven to be true to me with this story. So yes, I wanted them to break up too, but the story said no.

6955135 Ups, and lots of downs. Getting back on my feet.

This is by far the most interesting romance story I've seen. Having them get back together was definitely an unusual move, and definitely steered the story away from its expected path of a confirmed breakup. That really made me love this story more.

7456884 well thank you, I'm glad.

That's never gonna result in a healthy relationship. Once that switch is thrown off and the love dies, it never comes back. Tried it with my partner, made us both absolutely miserable, till we both ended up finding someone else, before finally splitting 2 years later.

You know, I haven't been on here in years, and only now have started to get back into reading (and hopefully writing). But even with all the romance I've read on here, this and its prequel tell the most interesting story of a relationship I've ever seen, and arguably the most real. The way you write is exceptional, somehow the description you use throughout paints the melancholy picture of their crumbling relationship so well. Even the end of the story is done really well, I never could have thought something you would see as hopeful in Rainbow wanting to mend whatever relationship was left, could sound so bleak. The idea of both of them being stuck in a relationship marred by more bad than good is unique in the world of shipping and romance when it comes to fan fiction in general, it's just not a topic really done much, but you did it remarkably well.

Also, making this about my second favorite ship helps :twilightblush:

9031896
Thank you so much. I am proud of these, since they have a rather personal connection to me. Although, to be fair, I think this one is a bit overdone in the prose section, which is something I did intentionally to draw contrast between this one and JGMaR. It does make me roll my eyes at it now, though.

Hello! Have a review. I read Just Give Me a Reason long ago and loved it, so I was a bit nervous going into this that it might be disappointing. I needn't have worried: this fic is also really good. Rather a bleak, cold atmosphere to it, but that's fitting for the story. I appreciate that these feel like real ponies, not one-dimensional cut-outs. This is perhaps not quite as good as its predecessor, and it can teeter on the edge of being overwritten, but it's still excellent and I'm happy to favourite it. :scootangel:

I'm not sure how much you check Fimfiction comments nowadays, but I'd love to ask you whether the use of the phrase "Would it matter if she was?" was a deliberate nod at a then-infamous story that came out a few months before this one...

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