Ghost Mike's Ponyfic Review Monday Musings #45 · 6:00pm Jan 16th, 2023
January’s often a quiet month for many, both in life in general but also in the workplace. And that is mostly true for me too. However, as I work on mobile apps/games for the kids, this isn’t the case as much as you might think; on top of the work we’re integrating into the app always being for the next release or two ahead (meaning December is actually the quiet month, when folks start taking their holidays and the January/February updates are in core production/integration), it’s also where year roadmaps get put into motion, new plans are set, new features on the horizon, the works. Even after four years here, it’s exciting. It also means a lot of meetings and feasibility costs analysis too! But hey, them’s the kicks. A lot of these plans don’t come to pass, just the way things are, sure. I do enjoy the process, frustrating as it can be at times.
All that does provide the contrast for me to my days outside of work hours, which don’t have a lot going on right now, but not in a bad way; just purring away slowly but surely at all the usual things. And that includes reading and reviewing fics! Though one thing I am good at in the new year is accelerating watching of new shows/ones in the backlog. Feels like it’s been ages since I just queued up something to watch regularly that isn’t MLP or one or the dozen or so quality comfort food shows I always reach to when I need them.
Is that enough rambling? Eh, probably. Though for all I know, some folks probably scroll straight to the reviews, especially those coming here from a comment on their reviewed fic. So, review time! Normal unorganised batch this week again, though the Author Spotlight isn’t far off returning.
This Week’s Spectral Stories:
Sugar, Cubed by BlazzingInferno
Roots by LittleSallyDigby
A Beautiful Heart by Starswirl the Beardless
Just Give Me a Reason by SleepIsforTheWeak
Try by SleepIsforTheWeak
Weekly Word Count: 32,986 Words
Sugar, Cubed by BlazzingInferno
Genre: Slice of Life/Sad
Applejack, Twilight, Luna, OC
4,868 Words
October 2014Reread
Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Applejack ain’t just a farm pony, don’t ya know. Though until now, she’s largely kept this other talent of hers a secret. She doesn’t know, and fears, what ponies might make of a farmer using advanced maths. But with today being the day she’s finally ready to present her work, all that will change. For better or for worse.
I used to have this story favourited, and why was instantly clear: it’s a very satisfying alternative to Big Mac being the mathematical whiz of the Apple family and AJ being no good at it (even if that resulted in some hilarious fics). And it goes beyond the concept, with both flashback scenes of a young AJ learning from her father’s work on a function that will help apple productivity, plus the present-day scenes of AJ attending a mathematics competition, with Twilight to both interact with and shy away from, proving very satisfying. And despite the Sad tag, the tone is largely straightforward and matter-of-fact, barely about the tragedy of Applejack finishing her father’s work except as the subtext.
So everything in the fic works. The problem is what isn’t in the fic. Pointing out the super-quick resolution is the obvious issue, but the whole story frankly feels like an abbreviation, moving from prologue teaser to modern day bit highlighting Applejack afraid of being judged, back to another flashback that doesn’t honestly add much, and then the present-day wraps the fic up with one of those mixed resolutions that is ultimately positive. Certainly, that the story never really uses maths as more than a plot device, with only the barest of details of AJ or her father’s work, is notable too. Not new observations, and indeed BlazingInferno noted in the comments that in hindsight they wish they’d done a 20K story instead. But a strong point felt quite pervasively, nonetheless.
Even if the concept feels rather underexplored, and the fic’s modulation a little suspect at times, the strong ideas and notions throughout meant I still enjoyed it, even if I cannot justify the favourite from my old days when I prioritised the idea over all else. If the concept interests you, you’ll probably like it.
Rating: Decent
Roots by LittleSallyDigby
Genre: Adventure/Slice of Life
Big Mac, Celestia, Granny Smith, OC
10,868 Words
August 2012Listened to via Scribbler's reading
Equestria has weathered many threats over the centuries, and it has not been just the Princesses that have stood to defend it. Ponies of all kinds have played their part. Now, in inheriting a few things from his Pa after his death, Big Mac is about to learn just how many of those ponies were Apples. And thus inherit the legacy of the Apple family.
Wow, was this ever unique, to the point I fear I’ll do a poor job of selling it. The bulk of it takes the form of flashbacks (or more like radio recordings, but not) of various Apples over the years, and the part they played for Equestria, largely by being spies for the Crown. These are recollected by their offspring, lending each one a different perspective that keeps them fresh even as they lean into the cyclical nature of the narrator of each one being driven to do their part when the time comes. These are broken up with journal entries by Big Mac as he ages from a colt to the timeline of the show, dealing with loss, responsibility, not getting to be the hero his ancestors were, and living with it. All very strong characterisation, especially as it leans into wholly unique reasons for his stoicism.
Boosting it along the way is a whole host of strengths. It’s as strong a sell of early fanfic lore when the show was less-defined as you’re ever likely to find (it even sells a technological age that went awry!), and having a few G1 connections early on (Tirek’s usage here, and it’s even only soft-jossed), most of which I won’t spoil. The massive scope doesn’t contrast poorly with the grounded nature of the recollections either. There’s always something going with every scene that makes the 11K skip by (with Scribbler’s audio reading being a real treat, with all the differing character voices selling the history). And the slew of answers the story teases and then answers along the way just coalesce into pure poetry.
You also can’t beat this for the triumphs of wonderful fanon interpretation and having it all say something about character. The story does a great job of having the achievements of one’s ancestors as the heroes they were stand strong, yet also emphasising the importance of home-bound heroes too. And if that’s not the epitome of Big Mac, especially as he watches AJ making friends and being a nationwide hero, I don’t know what is. I can’t recommend this enough.
Rating: Excellent
A Beautiful Heart by Starswirl the Beardless
Genre: Drama/Slice of Life/Sad
Rarity, Twist
4,710 Words
December 2022
With several boutiques to manage, and countless outfits to design and produce, alongside a pretty active social life, Rarity doesn’t stop for much. But that doesn’t mean priorities don’t change, and when she spies a red-headed filly gazing through her boutique’s window, she remembers the reason she started doing all this in the first place.
Hey, remember when Twist looked to be a semi-regular foal on the show? This fic is a nice antidote to that unfulfilled promise, while not being one of those “poor, forgotten Twist” fics either. Not unless a pony feeling that being less outwardly beautiful makes dresses and such unsuitable for them counts, anyway. On the other side, we have Rarity being her usual generous self, reiterating that beauty comes from within and she just aspires to bring out the best in everypony. Very standard ingredients, but they sit fine.
Other than the piece being unambitious and confining itself to just this one moment (not saying it feels like the opener to a longer story, but it could easily be), the main thing holding this fic back is structural balancing. The opening spends many long paragraphs establishing Rarity and her current situation, and then watching Twist looking in her window and thinking on it, when both would be well served at half their length. It takes nearly half the fic to get to their interacting, and given how little happens in their conversation, the feeling is of a 4.7K story that would have been better served at 3K. As it is, it feels a little hollow; the good this does provide can’t quite sustain that.
Of course, better too long than too short, and while the use of Rarity here is hardly revolutionary, it’s certainly nuanced enough. A suitably sweet diversion that doesn’t overdo it on the sugar.
Rating: Decent
Just Give Me a Reason by SleepIsforTheWeak
Genre: Romance/Sad/Slice of Life (w/Sex)
Rainbow Dash, Rarity
3,653 Words
March 2014
Three years into what was once an impassioned relationship, Rainbow Dash can no longer deny there’s no spark between her and Rarity anymore. She books a spa resort trip to try and rekindle things, and in the eventual result, discovers a bittersweet truth about relationships when the fire snuffs out this far in.
A romance/shipping story that works equally well for those not into such things as much? Yep, this is one of those rare gems. For starters, it’s fully believable that these two have been together three years, in how Rainbow’s association with Rarity has changed her into not quite the mare from the show. She can think and talk about feelings, she can read Rarity from the subtlest of tells, she understands fashion to a degree. And this story could only be told with Rainbow Dash and Rarity, which is enough to also sell a rather unorthodox Mane 6 pairing. Beyond, you know, the prior point. And sell me on it this did.
Much of the story takes the form of Rainbow observing Rarity or things around her and having cynically realistic thoughts about them, and it’s amazing how much it gets inside her head; for all that it’s a discomforting, bleak read, it’s for sure a gripping one, fully selling the reality of two people that still care for each other but have fallen out of love. And without anger, hate or the like filling it up, for that is not what happens when you fall out of love gradually. This lasts all the way through to the end, finishing on a depressing yet totally believable reason for these two being in a relationship. Going back to the cynically realistic point from before, yet also making for an emotionally satisfying capstone too.
To a degree, this is a piece that states its emotions throughout rather than feels them, so I was more aware of things that were happening then feeling them, if you get me. That doesn’t matter too much in light of the other strengths above, though, and so we’re left with a really strong piece that is neither happy, nor just depressing, but the penetrating middle ground. How often do we see the aftermath of a romance that’s exhausted itself past the initial lust stage, one where the effort to keep it going hasn’t been enough, and the challenges are cracking it in subtle but pervasive ways? Very rarely, and here is a shining example of this in action.
Rating: Really Good
Try by SleepIsforTheWeak
Genre: Romance/Sad/Slice of Life
Rainbow Dash/Rarity
8,887 Words
February 2016Sequel to Just Give Me a Reason
Several months after their rough spa resort outing, Rainbow Dash is alarmed to realise Rarity had decided it’s time to do what they agreed was coming. It’s still too soon for Dash, and she’s unwilling to not try something, anything, to prevent it. Something more in tune with their situation this time.
This story struggles quite a bit with moving beyond the wheelhouse of the prior one. That featured relatively little direct dialogue, often just short clipped bits around the narration and observations of Dash, and even the ending talk was still very short and efficient. This time, while the regular stuff is still the dominant focus, dialogue has to carry the heavy lifting at times. It’s capable, no question, and isn’t forced, but it often runs into an issue where, while the main description can be mellow and have it work, the dialogue just seems muted and can’t deliver on the same promise of an undercurrent. Thus, the marginal underemotion that was almost a strength last time is an active liability for stretches.
Until a divisive ending that is nonetheless quite telling of these characters, the writing is largely as solid as the prior story, realistic in its barbed quietness of a strained romance, and totally bereft of feel-good moments. Dash’s voice is maybe a little less solid, but still more than capable of what the story needs. However, it cannot be denied that this story just strains, structurally, and I was not surprised to find out the author still wasn’t remotely satisfied, but felt they had to get it out after two years. You can feel the flop sweat as it arranges the pieces – sticking largely to longer, present-tense scenes rather than a mixture of those and recollections contributes to this, as does a far longer length than is justified. In particular, the whole back half of their final talk spills itself out long before its 4.3K has elapsed.
Far more works on balance then not in this sequel, but it’s a far rockier and patchier piece of writing. How much one likes Just Give Me a Reason should determine whether they’re willing to wade through those rough patches for many of the same strengths.
Rating: Decent
Spooky Summary of Scores:
Excellent: 1
Really Good: 1
Pretty Good: 0
Decent: 3
Passable: 0
Weak: 0
Bad: 0
SleepIsforTheWeak is one of the site's more underappreciated authors. At least in my opinion.
I've read a few of these! On the one hoof, I didn't like Roots nearly as much as you did. Although I was impressed by its world-building and the imagination that went into it, I rated it at the top of my two-star band. I found the sheer number of ancestors made it worse rather than better. I suspect it's a fic that gains quite a bit from a good audio reading, however. On the other hand, I liked Try a good deal more than you did, finding it not that far short of its prequel. I'd agree that it's not as smooth a flow as its predecessor, but "far rockier and patchier" (my emphasis) would be considerably harsher than I was.
5709062
Hey, variety in takes is the spice of life, my unicorn friend.
It certainly did gain a lot, and I don't know if I did the best job at filtering that out of my evaluation; I could see the amount of them starting to grate were it not for the reading and voice actors differentiating them, plus the other strengths of the fic that made it never drag for me. But given I've pointed out more cases of the same repetition than is necessary for other fics, it's valid. I still find it to be an Excellent fic for me though, if just barely.
Hey, at least it's Pony media where I'm the the kinder of us two! Normally it's the other way around. Speaking of…
Well, you did like Just Give Me a Reason more than me, given it inched into five-star territory for you, so it's following in series tradition for you to like the sequel more than me. This is still a strong Decent (equivalent to on the two/three star border for you), but I just found it a lot more mechanical and rusty, and quite a drag, especially in the back half. The other strengths do still make it more than fine. Still, I instantly accepted the author's statements that they'd been banging their head against it for two years and still hasn't solved it when it was published, which is rather telling. Much of a muchness, I suppose.
5709052
From what I've observed of their writing style in these two fics (I haven't read any others), I might even agree with you. This writing is very penetrating and in-the-moment, whilst also being understated in a way that probes at the reader. Not many of their other works appeal to me, but I intend to not let an eternity pass before checking another out.
I would say their low follower count can be attributes to a sporadic output, unusual fics, and being basically off FimFiction for over five years ago. Guess a military career keeps one busy!
I've read the first one. It's been so long that I don't remember anything beyond the premise and that I thought it was at least pretty good.
This used to be the slow season in Hollywood, too. They called it The Hiatus, and I suspect that it was because it's the only part of the year that isn't sunny enough to film outdoors in California. Now, it's Pitch Season and an absolute madhouse.
Wow, I never would have found Roots without this review, but it sounds very intriguing. On the list it goes!
5709076
Much the same for me, only remembering the premise. I did wobble on the Decent/Pretty Good rating quite a bit, but felt the promise of the concept held more than what the fic delivered on this read, at least somewhat. But I’d totally get a Pretty Good rating for this too.
5709107
Ah yes, our report from our former Hollywood-adjacent Californian on the ground, right on schedule. My Hollywood history as regards the ins and outs of the town over the years isn’t super extensive, but it’s detailed enough that your assessment fits right in. Pitch season in this established IP era must be an absolute nightmare. Probably makes the slush piles of scripts look not all that bad…!
Two weeks in a row I’ve gotten fics you’d have never found/considered on your list. As
might say, “Awesome!” Evidently the secret is to always have one Excellent fic per week.
Now, what to do about the current backlog of prepared reviews not having nearly enough for that…
5709137
Oh yeah, glamorous, glamorous Hollywood... or, in this case, Arleta.
i.ibb.co/DCHcGJY/space.jpg
Welcome to Planet Xargjax!
I'm not being a snob about only adding top-rated fics to my list, honest! It's just that, even with that restriction, my list is still outpacing my reading, so my automatic reaction to Excellent, ★★★★★, Highly Recommended, or WHYRTY reviews is basically, "Yay... uhmn... awwww..."
A Beautiful Heart is the only one I've read before, and indeed it's quite decent. It's Also the most recent posted story by a recent author (relatively speaking). Their story Sorry We Missed You is also an interesting one which I've read, but unfortunately that story seemed to be a bit too personal (I think?) for me and a bunch of other people to understand. They posted a blog for that, but it's long, really long. That story caught the eye of a very wide audience since it obviously stayed on the top of the feature box for quite some time, but most of us are just still confused about how it ended.
Anyway, that's a nice batch of stories. May not have the time considering that I am still learning in school, but then again reading stuff like these is just for fun and relaxation (for now).
5709141
Whatever idealism I had about Hollywood both in terms of the actual filming and the reality of getting projects accepted and made evaporated long ago.
Don’t worry!
Oh no, I get it. More than you know. I have the same dilemma, finding stories to add to my list faster then I’m reading them. Mostly ones I’ve read before in my pre-rating days. And even with reserving the option to drop stories I have no interest in reading or rereading, I still have just over 400 stories between the two bookshelves, encompassing over 10 million words. Would take five years at my current rate to get through that wordcount, and that’s if I never added any other stories along the way.
So yes, I too have a little of a deflated reaction when I do find a story to read to the bookshelf.
Again, we’re more alike than you think! 
5709136
Oh, I was just saying "pretty good" as a generic thing, not as how I would have rated it on your scale. I don't remember it well enough to give it a rating.