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DontWakeTheNeighbour

Joined March 2012
378 followers

Stories (5)

Blog Posts (34)

Source

The element of loyalty is put to the ultimate test as she finds herself stranded in a foreign world with no idea where she is, how she got there or how she can even get back. When she is rescued by a small group of battle hardened soldiers on a secret search and rescue mission, she has no choice but to go with them if she wants to stay alive.

Soon she realises the seriousness of her situation as she finds herself on the front line on one of the worlds most fearsome battles.

WARNING: Contains strong language and graphic injury detiail.

First Published
28th Apr 2012
Last Modified
30th Oct 2012

Comments ( 1,199 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

I like these stories. Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

#2 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

this sounds really interesting i'll favorite it cause i cant read it now

#3 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

Very nice idea. :twilightsmile:

You have spelling errors here and there, and some word confusion, but aside from that small issue, it read rather well.

Nothing like introducing Rainbow Dash to the horrors of our world first hand, right?

I like this so far, so keep it up if you can. :rainbowkiss:

#4 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

Like others have mentioned, the format/spelling could use some work.  Using a word processor on this before posting could help.  Also, putting an indent at the beginning of each paragraph makes it easier on the eyes.

Still, I love it.  Favorite.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

DUDE WHAT? CX

EPIC IDEA I'MA GOING TO READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH MAN XD

PLEASE MAKE SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!

But seriously the lack of events is just....eugh...

longer please

#6 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

i like it and like the others said some formating and spelling issues but those are just a little thing, i think you may have a really great story on your hands:rainbowwild:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

indent and seperate your paragraphs.

other than that, the only complaint I have is that there's not more.

#8 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

My only complaint is the "tThe" at the begining of the story. I thought being a grammar nazi was fitting with the story. :rainbowlaugh:   :trollestia:

#9 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

English isn't your first language, is it? :(

#10 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 4d ago · · ·

Needs some editing but it still is a great concept. I have a soft spot for WWII / MLP crossovers.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

YEAH 'MERICA!

#12 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

need a proofreader.

#13 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>515084 Yeah. I need and editor. BAD.

#14 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

A WW2 story this showes germans as cruel, monsters? No, thanks.

#15 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>516289

Eh, dude? These were SS officers. They basically were cruel monsters. Normal soldiers or officers didn't have nazi armbands.

#16 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

That was interesting very good so far.

The only complaint I have is that there's not more.

also more explosions:derpytongue2:

#17 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>516789 Yes, more is definitely required. As for the explosions... You can never have enough, but it helps when used at the proper time. Like... All the time. :pinkiecrazy:

#18 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Nazi BASTARDS. IM A JEW.:twilightangry2:

#19 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>516777

Guess it just came over me as I read German in such a story again. I know, the story about my home in this time isn't pretty, but not all germans were monsters, and that's something some people forget, or don't even know sometimes, and that makes me upset.

#20 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>518034 I'm in no way attempting to make every german look like a heartless monster. I'm trying to simply show the harsh realitys of war in those dark days and how selfish people can be in moments of desperation. Americans, Germans, Britsh etc.

If your offended by this story I am really sorry. I'm not trying to make this a "God hates Germans story" As I truly hate people who dwell on the past. And I will never EVER judge a country's people based on events they could not control 70 years ago.

PS: I also like german beer :rainbowkiss:

#21 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>518185

Thats good to know, thank you. Oh, and I forgot to tell you that this story is well written anyway. Except for the german parts, I guess you are not really used to the german language, are you?

For example: "Sie war mit der amerikanischen ja?" I guess it should sound more like:

"Sie war zusammen mit dem Amerikaner, ja?" But thats just my opinion.

PS: German beer is great, isn't it? :rainbowwild:

#22 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>518034

Well, you'll be glad to know I'm not one of them. Not after actively studying world war two, as its one of my favorite subjects. :twilightsmile:

#23 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>518281 Heh. Yeah. Google translate isn't very good. And I'm glad we understand eachother.

#24 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>518319

Yup, thats really good to know. :pinkiesmile:

#25 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Perfect. You captured the darkness of war and Rainbow Dash's pain perfectly. Just watch the spelling and this fic is platinum.

Keep it up! :pinkiehappy:

#26 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Sadly, this is what happens in war. Aren't we humans just grand?

#27 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>518336

FALLOUT 3 REFERENCE!

#28 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

another good chapter keep it up.

also YAY explosions!  

#29 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Great chapter! ;)

#30 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

Great story, but I beg you... PLEASE run this story through a spell check. Write it in a writing program, then copy paste it to there. Trust me... it helps a lot.

#31 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 3d ago · · ·

>>519020 Will do. As of now I'm going to sleep.

#32 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

THIS  story can take ALL my fucks

#33 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

DAAAAW poor rainbow dash she is all sad and scared....and coverd in blood DAAAAW poor dashie:fluttershysad:

#34 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

>>518817 .... Wut?

#35 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

Great chapter, you really captured the essence and brutallity of war. :twilightsmile:

#36 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

oh poor rainbow she's so scared, great story as allways i looked for a war fic a long time ago and finally you made one excelent keep em coming

#37 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

Dixon, I will rip your head off if only this were real and I could go back in time... Only after I killed Hitler personally, but hey, that's just me...

#38 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

...Oh my god.

This is amazing.

#39 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

Awesome. Thats all that needs to be said

#40 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

This chapter felt comparitively unedited.

Is this some alternate reality where the mainland United States was attacked?  Sounds like it.

Also, equine animals have hair, not fur.  If saying hair sounds weird, just say "her coat."

You also mention her "arms"

#41 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

>>524687 Thank you for pointing out this flaw. I'll change it now. I know some parts sound confusing but it'll all be be explained eventually

#42 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

#43 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

Alright i love history, and ponies. This story is just......the best. :raritywink:

#44 · Chapter 2 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

This chapter was a lot better than the previous one. You really captured the as Ken Burns called it "The Universe of the Battle"

#45 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

Wait was the United States attacked? What :rainbowhuh:?

Your descriptions seem rushed. Slow Down and don't do too many things in the same paragraph.

Eg: "Rainbow Dash looked at the piece of apple before grabbing it with her teeth, before she slowly started chewing on the fruit. The taste was pretty plain compared to how the apples tasted back in Equestria but she savored the taste as it reminded her of home. When she was finished she continued to look into the darkness in front of her. Bishop stayed silent, trying not to pressure the pony into saying something."

You try to combine two ideas (apple tasting plain and reminding her of home) in the same sentence. I personally think that it could be more than one sentence.

Eg: "The apple tasted bland in comparison to the ones in Equestria. Despite this, she savored the taste, as it reminded her of home."

#46 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 2d ago · · ·

Don't get me wrong it's a nice story it just needs some work. :pinkiesmile:

#47 · Chapter 1 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

I like this so far....Why the hell does this remind me of the World at War campaign?

#48 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

>>527409 Funnily eneough the origonal idea was suppose to be a call od duty crossover but in the end I thought that just being a war story with rainbow dash could be something diffrent yet unique

#49 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

>>527449 Haha. Great story by the way. For some odd reason, Dixon making Rainbow freak out reminds me of when Gilda made Fluttershy cry...

#50 · Chapter 3 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

That was great. I can only imagaine Rainbow's pain. But I think sh deserves a proper explaination as to how World War 2 began

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