Paying Respects
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Paying Respects
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“I’ll walk back from here,” Alex said to Chet, as he climbed out of the van, leaving Dash and Twilight in the car, “You sure two will be okay in the house for a bit?”
“I’m just going to take a nap,” Dash shrugged, “Maybe do some work on my war reports.”
“I’ve got plenty to read,” Twilight said, pointing to the massive backpack filled with books on the seat next to her, “Plus, I plan on filling Chet in on the rest of your time in Equestria.”
“Are you sure you wanna walk?” Chet asked, knowing the distance from here to his house was a good hour trip on foot, “I can just wait here for a bit.”
Alex shook his head, “I don’t know how long I’ll be here… it’ll probably be for a while. I think it’s time I really said goodbye.”
“Alright,” Chet said, putting the van in drive, as he began rolling away, “If you get in to trouble, make sure to use your magic!”
“Thanks,” Alex laughed, turning to face the large metal gate, leading in to the town graveyard, “I’ll see you guys in a few hours.”
Chet didn’t say another word as he pulled away, leaving Alex alone to do something he had neglected for so many years.
It didn’t take him long to make his way through the small graveyard. Luckily- if you could say the word ‘lucky’ at all- the graveyard was incredibly small. Most people who died in the town were buried in the city. However, Alex’s family held a plot of land that was big enough to keep his family being buried for two hundred years. So, unless he was buried in Equestria, this would be the place his body would spend most of its time.
Shaking off the rather… unpleasant thoughts, Alex continued on his path down the small brick walkway, and thought back to the last time he had seen his mother and father alive.
They had been their normal selves, off to get groceries and spend the day together.
They told him they loved him, and they headed off, never to come home again.
By some miracle, Alex hadn’t gotten in a fight with his father and left the morning on a sour note. At the very least, they had parted ways happily.
It was one of the things he had been glad of over the many passed years. They had all been happy on their last day together. He had a sneaking suspicion that had there been a fight that morning, he would still feel guilt over it, even today.
A few more minutes passed as he kept his slow pace, silently enjoying the calm, warm evening air. He had grown quite an appreciation for peace these days. He finally understood why his father would come home and just sit quietly for a few minutes. He was happy to share that with him.
Alex reached the end of the path, and was somewhat surprised to see that he had arrived at his destination. The two tombstones that sat at the back of the Mackenzie plot. They belonged to Steven, and Brittany Mackenzie.
Alex immediately felt a pain in his chest. Even though he was aware of, and had completely come to terms with their death some time ago, this was his first time seeing such a powerful- immovable fact, concerning his parents. They were dead, and these stones were here to make sure the world would always have that reminder.
“Well…” Alex said under his breath, figuring that if they were ghosts or something, he didn’t exactly need to raise his voice too loud for them, “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you guys.”
The wind quietly blew past his face, as he remained silent, as if to give them time to respond to what he had said.
”We’ve missed you so much, baby.”
“Hear that kid? She thinks you’re a baby!”
Alex chuckled at the voices he conjured within his head.
“Things have changed- in case you didn’t know,” Alex continued, unmoving from his place, “And I don’t know if either of you could even begin to believe me about it.”
Alex was only slightly surprised when he felt a lump form in his throat. He had expected this to be a little difficult, but had budgeted for more.
Taking a few steps back, Alex pressed his back against a tree, and slid himself down in to a sitting position.
“That day you guys went off, and got in your accident… was the day my life really began.” He said, clearing his throat, feeling a little bad for them, whether he could be heard or not, “I moved out of the house, made a whole bunch of new friends… I even met a girl. And I think you guys would have really liked her.”
Again, his mind filled in the blanks.
“Thank goodness! I never liked Courtney. She was always so rude!”
“Well, we’ll have to take your word for it on the new girl. It’s not like we’ll be seeing her any time soon, right?”
Alex paused as the pain in his chest multiplied.
Again, he had always known that his parents would never meet Dash, or any of the other girls. But… sitting here, and saying these things made him feel like he was being hit in the chest with a hammer.
He sat in silence and imagined the million scenarios that could have played out between his mother, father, and Dash. They would have loved her. She would have gotten along great with both of them, between his dad’s faux-asshole attitude, and his mother’s competitiveness.
“I wish you could have seen her, dad.” Alex finally spoke up, laughing through the sadness as he continued, “I think you would have broken my hand with the high-five… And I’m sure you would have thought she was very nice too, mom.”
Again, he left an opening long enough for the two of them to respond, imagining what they might say. However, his mind started working a little too hard at it.
”So, how big are the tats then?”
”Oh, would you grow up!”
Or…
”Does she take care of you? Because I’m not around to do it anymore! So you make sure she does!”
“Oh, I’m sure she takes care of him plenty. Women love Mackenzie men, and Alex is the first one in the long line to be genuinely… not ugly as crap.”
Or maybe…
”How am I supposed to brag to my friends about my sons new girlfriend, when she’s just a horse? The guys will tear me apart!”
“Well, good thing we’re dead then, isn’t it?”
He wasn’t sure if it was sad, or desperate, or perfectly normal for someone to imagine things like this when sitting in a graveyard.
“I actually asked her to marry me.” Alex said, blinking a few times as he looked to the ground, “I mean- there’s no date set or anything… But that’s gonna happen. Just something else I figured you’d want to know.”
Then, the truest pain set in. It was being hit by a bus.
Because his imaginary parents were dead silent. They had no response. He knew them so well, that he couldn’t even conjure a fake congratulations in his mind from them.
If he were to really be sitting here, talking to their ghosts, they may have had a moment of happiness, but it would have been followed by many more moments of sadness. They would have been heartbroken to miss something so important to him.
And so, they were silent.
Alex was alone in the world to get married, have kids, and live his life.
Maybe it was a crazy thought, but their completely imagined sadness was what pushed him over the edge.
“I miss you guys so much…” Alex said roughly, placing his thumb and index finger over his eyes, squeezing them shut, and sending a tear down his right eye, “I really hope there’s a heaven you went to.”
Alex hadn’t been too much for church before he went to Equestria. He wasn’t too sure that he bought in to the whole thing. But, when you lose people you love like he had, it can have a strange effect on your perception of the world. It left him wanting nothing more than to be wrong.
By this point, his cheeks were wet, and the night breeze was chilling his face slightly.
Even though he had jumped from a blimp, watched a stallion die, defeated a god of chaos, and served as a personal love-toy for a changeling queen… sitting here, looking at these gravestones… it made him feel so lost. There were so many feelings that he had bypassed upon going to Equestria a few years ago, and they were all pouring out of him right now.
Who would take care of him when he wakes up with a cold, and has to stay home sick?
How would he fix something if it broke? His dad always knew what to do when an electric outlet broke, or the water stopped working.
If he was buying a house, or a car… who would make sure he wasn’t making a stupid decision?
”You know the answer to that already.”
Alex heard the fake voice in his mind clearly.
Yet again, he knew his parents too well. Their impressions were so strong.
”You’ve got such a big family now, Alex.” His father’s voice said confidently, “All of your friends from Equestria, Chet, Dash… there is no problem you couldn’t overcome in this world.”
“And even if you find yourself lost, with no one next to you, we’re still in here.” His mother said, tapping her imaginary finger against his head, “You’ve grown up so much… Guess I can’t call you baby anymore, huh?”
Alex could feel their embrace around him as he truly began to cry.
These comforting voices were coming from his own head… He was consoling himself with the voices of his parents.
But, at the same time, he wasn’t.
He had spent his entire life with them, they had put their hearts and soul in to him, burning their memory in to his mind.
It was like they had spent his entire life recording videos of solutions to every problem he would have to face in his life, except they were saved right to his brain.
All he needed to do was find the right tape, and play it back.
And on top of that, they made sure to heap in plenty of extra footage telling him that they loved him, and that he would do great things, along with being an amazing husband and father.
The wind continued to blow by Alex as he sat in silence.
He thought he had budgeted for his emotional response. But, it looked like he had undershot by a mile. He was nothing more than a sobbing pile at this moment.
But it wasn’t all sadness.
It was fear, it was hope, and it was relief.
Coming here today made him realize something he had wished he knew three years ago.
His parents had been with him this entire time… And not just as silent voices in the back of his head. They made him the man he was. They told him to persevere in getting Dash back from the Wonderbolts. They made sure Dax would protect Luna’s child. They helped him see that sacrificing himself for Equestria was the right thing to do, even though he was turned to stone.
Every single aspect of his life had been shaped by them.
It had only just dawned on him, how much they would continue to change the world.
And it made him smile.
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You actually made me cry... MOAR
How dare you make me feel feelings?!
I was so close to crying. gg m8.
Also, is the chapter supposed to be all in italic?
Wow. Intense chapter. I haven't lost a person in my life yet, but I can imagine how horrible it would be.
This story is just to good, I'm glad I found this.
fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/051/5/0/cry_liquid_pride_by_potatoevomit-d5vorzg.jpg
I get that feeling a lot, like, I'll wonder why something happened and then I would think, is it possible that my step-father is doing this and then I would just leave it alone before I further confuse myself.
5874731 You have no idea how bad it can be, living with sorrow, regret and depression all because of losing someone close to you, I feel it every day, but I put a smile on to power through the day and I find happiness in the silver lining.
You know it's funny.
If you just plug the facts of the story in by themselves, Alex is pretty much a Gary Sue, and should be a completely weak character, but it's chapters like this that show that ANYTHING, even a walking cliche, can be an engaging character with real (non power) growth.
KoH, thanks for long long road so far, and for what is to come.
I think the italics tags is broken, because everything after he starts to imagine their voices is in italics.
5874953
Sorry, there was a broken 'close italic' in the BBcode. I fixed it.
5874581
Yeah, one wrong letter can do that. I fixed it.
...My heart... can' take the feels... Nice chapter as usual.
5874910 Sorry if that was offensive to you. (my last remark.) I can only imagine how it would feel, and I was trying to tell the author thanks for a little insight into that experience.
There are very few things that keep someone grounded.
This is Alexs.
sob whe wh why... BZZZZTZZZT! darn my emotionles robot died of sadnes... WAIT WHAT!
5875367 It's no big deal, I just saw it and my alter-ego took control for a moment.
hug.
A wonderful chapter
I need more! This story is amazing!
Welp, here come the tears. I have a very good feeling as to what Alex is going through emotionally right now.
The power of feels is strongly imbued into this chapter.
*wipes a tear away*
Great chapter, mate!
Cheers!
The feels are strong with this one... I could not begin to explain how it makes me think of what I'm going through.
It's a good thing he didn't decide to peer back in time to see the event itself.