Aaaaaaah. I remember reading this a while ago when I found it on Equestria Daily.

One of my favorites. Great job with this.

Magnificent......

deep, touching, well thought out, well written.

Stories like these keep me coming back and looking for the gems.....

>>2359923599

Yes, I posted this a while ago, but I'm moving towards placing all of my stories here. I'm very glad you found it, and enjoyed it so much!

>>2375723757

Thank you, that means a lot to me. I worked for a very long time on this one, nearly a full month, and it seemed ponderous at times. I'm very glad that you found it worthwhile.

Manly tears.  Also, you've enstilled in me a tremendous desire to dig out my old Lead Belly albums.   Bravo.

Only four comments?!?! Bullshit. I was only planning on reading one chapter, but ended up reading the whole fucking thing in one sitting bro. I wish I could write something half as good as this. It was sweet, sad(I mean parts almost made me shed manly tears) and triumphant, it blended all those elements into a a fine paste and sprinkled it with great pacing, great grammar and amazing character development.   Well, enough ass kissing, thanks for making this and normally I'd end a gushing comment with movie casting choices, but I'm stumped, so kudos to you.  

>>2401824018

Thank you so much!

>>2422724227

Wow, such wonderful praise. I tried very hard to make sure that Blues came out as a believable character...I'm very glad you think it worked!

A beautiful story, marred only by some tense changes here and there (and also one or two missing apostrophes and the like).

I must commend you for fitting so many of Blues's in-show appearances into the story. I rewatched several relevant scenes with a renewed appreciation. Also, loved the running gags ("the most beautiful mare I've ever seen", and all the Deus Ex Machinas).

Excellent work.

>>4810748107

I'm very glad that you enjoyed those gags. I worried over them terribly!

I apologize for the errors. This is my longest fic, and like all of them I don't have an editor or proofreader (except for the most recent). All of these first stories have that problem, and I'm not proud when I find one.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

This. This right here *sniff* is awesome. I shed many a manly tear while reading. As a musician who's firmly rooted in the blues, I really want to thank you for doing the 'history'/'legacy'/'gravitas'/'aura' justice here. You rock!

>>474388474388

Thank you so much! I'm not a musician myself but I have worked with many and I had hoped that I had caught the feeling of "road weariness" and the connection to the music they all report to me. I'm very glad that you think I did and that you enjoyed the fic!

I laughed, I cried, I listened to blues playlists. This story is brilliant, just brilliant. To put the emotion of the blues so well into a written medium... Good work, Descendant.

>>527611527611

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! This is my second most important fic, and that it's still receiving such favorable feedback almost a year later means a lot to me!

I read this a couple months ago.  Favorite fanfic.  Touching, meaningful, insightful.  

Could you give some music suggestions?  

Dang it... Even though I'm listening to something else at this instant, it does hit the right emotions I guess.

Alcest - Autre Temps

Alcest - Là Où Naissent Les Couleurs Nouvelles

Wolfing through your stories... count myself as a fan of yours

>>568171568171

Well, the story title was based on Tangled Up in Blue by Bob Dylan... umm, apart from that I'm sure that any sort of classic bluesy jazz would fit the bill!

I'm glad that it has meaning for you!

>>572502572502

Very glad to have you as a dedicated reader!

You probably won't find all of my works to your taste (nobody does, as they are so different from each other), but I'm very glad for all and any feedback you might want to give. Let me know if all of the "Thanks!" messages get annoying......

One of my favorite background character fanfics. Like a few others, I wound up creating my own playlist as I read this...Sidney Bechet for the sadder chapters at the beginning, and Fletcher Henderson and Glenn Miller for the latter chapters.

>>593672593672

I'm rather appreciative of the fact that the story is good enough that you'd take that extra effort.

As a musician that plays music from the heart rather than structure or theory, this story has a special place in my heart.  It definitely holds true that emotions can be expressed, relieved, and even overcome with music.  After 6 years of playing bass and rhythm guitar I can finally pick up an instrument and play something that doesn't make ears bleed anymore.

Your character development throughout the story was very progressive as well as definitive.  From a lost colt looking for his mark in life to one that has built off of experiences to a well rounded and respectable being.  Nice guys may finish last, but the wait is always worth the turmoil it took to get there.  His struggles are believable as well as hitting close to home with what he went through with his first marefriend.  It never feels nice to know that you've been cast aside for petty things such as looks.  It has been almost 2 years for me, but I have faith that fate is holding something good for me down the road, so to speak.

A spelling mistake I noted in (I believe it was) 2 of the chapters you used "base" instead of "bass" for the part of the band.  Bass in music verbally sounds out like base, but is spelled like the word used for the fish.  I forgot to take notes as I was reading, so I can't be of any more help here.

Overall this is one of my favorite stories I've read on here.  The character can be related to easily and it hits on several emotions for life events that I have built off of myself, including going off to live on my own in several places and unfortunately having heartache from those I've held the closest.  I found the dryness leaving my eyes as I read a few of the chapters.  Keep up the excellent work!

>>608331608331

I've received a lot of compliments about this story from musicians, and it does make me feel good to know that I have created something that resoantes with people in a certain craft.

I'm glad Blue's character development was well done in your opinion. Oh, and I can sympathize with your experience... I really can...

Thanks once again for the grammar catch. I had thought I'd caught all of those but, like the baffling tense-changes, I can't seem to weed them all out!

I'm glad that the work had meaning for you on multiple levels. Thank you so much for taking the time to read ad reply!

I know I said I was going to get around to reading all your stories,but I haven't found the time...

Until now!

To the next chapter!

>>661521661521

I look forward to your thoughts! Thanks for reading and commenting!

I commented on this way back when on EqD, but I think this is still worth my leaving my thoughts as memorial to this tale.

As a musician, there's a certain magic to the craft, something that is completely foreign to non-musicians, but anyone can feel it when it's there.  Artists from Beethoven to Clapton and back have had it, the ability to make you forget where you are, to exist for nothing but the music for the brief span that it's playing.  It's the ability to make emotions real, to make pain tangible and bearable, to make joy live and moments last forever.  I don't know that I've ever captured that myself, but it's the goal we all try for.  It's the language with no words that everyone in the world speaks.

You managed to accomplish that feeling in words, which is just phenomenal.  Every time Blues stops the action to think, to feel out who he is and (especially!) wonder if Taffy is ready to accept him, the whole story just stops, and you're so in the moment that you can almost feel it yourself.  This story is so sad and awesome and tragic and hopeful; it's just pure catharsis.  I actually feel cleansed when I finish it, every time.  THAT is the same magic.

Mares, man... mares...

>>568171568171

I recommend you start with the birth of the blues masters:

Hubert Sumlin, JJ Cale, Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Robert Cray, and BB King, to name a few.

That should get you started. ;)

For some modern stuff, check out Hugh Laurie's piano jazz/blues album.  Yes, seriously.

>>664381664381

I think that I remember a comment very similar to this one back on DA, as you said you saw and replied to it there first. It means the world to me that you are still moved by this story all these long months later. The story celebrates it's first birthday in two weeks, you know!

You used such poetry in that comment, thank you so much for taking the time to write such an eloquent bit of praise. I truly, genuinely appreciate it.

How the hay did I miss this background pony story??????

I'm guessing this is the Old Dance Hall and Blue mentioned in A Sweet Taste Of Cake?

>>691568691568

It most certainly is... The New Blue Flag is the rebuilt dancehall that Carrot and Cuppy first met within and a decade later, the same one that they were on their way to when "other thoughts" went through their heads. This story was my first to be placed on the "Recommended Stories" section of TVTropes if you have any interest... ...

>>691587691587

I just can't believe this one and A Cup Of Joe has been up since November and out of all the

views that they have, that they have 160 thumb ups between them, and some actually thumb

downed them!! And A Sweet Taste Of Cake only has 65????

Personally I'd like to see more background stories, but your the writer, I'm just a reader,

and it's your choice not mine!

I just sat down and read this story in one session.

I just sat down and experienced the life story of Blues.

Everything about this story just breathes life. It's depressing, uplifting and downright hilarious at times. I could spend the rest of this night breaking my head trying to scramble together the words to describe how much I enjoyed this, and completely fail to do so. The emotions you managed to convey are just astounding... The messages true and honest. The gags, hilarious.

But like I said, I simply do not have the ability to properly tell you how this made me feel, so I will leave you with this:

You are a master of words. This story genuinely moved me and I dare say I feel a better person for having read it.

>>701055701055

I am extraordinarily happy that you took a day to read this work. It is indeed very important to me, and I'm very, very glad that you feel that it accomplished it's task of telling his story. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, the time to comment, and especially for the praise!

Damn, I knew I should have waited untill weekend before i started reading this. One does not simply stop reading a good story.

On a side note this is not the type of story i normaly read and therefor my judgement is not to be taken seriously however i did find it very entertaining, which is the main point of a story in the first place.

For example I really enjoyed Rainbow Dash and her reaction after she crashed into Cake. I imagine her running in place and looking back and forth similar to how she does in "May the best pet win!" after she gets stuck in Ghastly Gorge.

I can sympathise with Blues at this point aswell, I know the feeling of having a bad day and when you finaly find that little something that makes everything good again something out of hoof comes and ruins everything and you end up just staring, too crushed to even cry.

However I 'think' I noticed something amiss here, Penny got her cutie mark here in the last chapter but i have a faint memory that Blues said she had gotten her cutie mark earlier in a monologue around chapter 5? I may have missread or my mind may be playing tricks on me however. Also a thumb-rule of mine says a story should never have to end with 'end' or 'the end' because if the reader doesn't understand that the story ends here without these then the story doesnt end in a good way. There is, however, exceptions to this of course.

// Sphex

>>705766705766

I think that what you're seeing is how Blues begins his mental letter to Moody by telling him that Penny got her mark, but how it takes through chapter seven to explain how it happened.

I'm very, very glad that you found some scenes so vivid! Thanks for taking the time to let me know, and I'm sorry to keep you up on a weeknight!

Well T.D., it's 2 AM in Korea, I'm wide awake for some damned reason, and sleep seems bound to allude me for several hours yet.  Sounds like a re-read to me.  

That was a good start. I really want to know where you're going to take this.

Blues really lives an unfortunate life... Nothing seems to go his way...

"I mean, in Celestia's name, we had rehearsals for the theme song alone for three weeks beforehoof!"

Part of me thinks Blues will get a happy ending, that he'll find the mare for him, but his constantly horrible luck suggests otherwise...

Ahhh, that was great. 3 more chapters, you say? I look forward to them

That, sir, was adorable. I hope things work out for Blues

Now that I think about it, this story reminds me very much of Two Ponies. And that's high praise; Two Ponies is one of my all-time favorites.

Yet another fantastic story, T.D. Your characterization of the OCs was written beautifully. The story-telling was fantastic. Again, as with A Cup of Joe, words fail me when it comes to trying to describe how much I enjoyed this.

I'm also of the opinion that this and A Cup of Joe are criminally underappreciated on this site. Both are excellent stories, full of depth and emotion rarely found in stories. Yet neither has many views or thumbs. A shame, that. More people should read these stories.

>>866717866717

Sorry that I only just caught your comment. I hope you eventually got some sleep, and that you enjoyed the re-read!

>>968138968138

>>968219968219

>>968303968303

>>968356968356

>>968442968442

>>968514968514

>>968610968610

I have to admit that I've never read Two Ponies, but if you're suggesting it then it simply must be extraordinary, and I will try to find the time.

I'm very glad that you enjoyed this as much as you did A Cup of Joe! Writing for the background characters seems to be a "sweet spot" for me. My suggestion would be to try A Sweet Taste of Cake next, if you're looking for something similar. I'm very glad that you enjoy my storytelling style, as my narratives are what I consider the background of my work.

You're not the first to say that they're surprised by the relatively small audience these stories have, and I've come to accept that. My writing style isn't for everyone. I'm just glad that almost everyone who reads my works enjoys them. Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment!

Lovely, just lovely.  

I really enjoy your work.  I think this one was another I read on Fanfiction.net oh so long ago.   It just felt like an old friend as I read it through and cried along with Blues a few times.

>>11608811160881

Could you mean DA? I don't have a FanFiction account. Either way, I'm very glad that you got re-united with this old friend. Thanks so much! I'm glad it remains emotionally powerful after multiple readings as well!

That was so beautiful it hurt. As a blues man myself I gotta tell you you caught the spirit  of the blues perfectly

>>12330141233014

Aha! Praise from an bluesman! I believe that's considered good luck!

Read this a while ago when Chris's blog covered it. It's actually one of the few stories that I can remember the details of very clearly, which speaks to how much I enjoyed it. Didn't like the fact that you were tying in plot-points, but I certainly can't blame you for playing to your crowd on that count. Really didn't like the ending—I felt it really gutted the strength of the journey—but I still loved that journey nonetheless.

Weird. The more I think of it, the more little bits I remember I wasn't so keen on, yet my memories are still overwhelmingly positive. Is it plausible to have nostalgia for something you read about six-or-so months ago? I guess it's just been that kind of year, but anyway, thanks for this one, I truly enjoyed it (even if I apparently tried not to).

-Scott

>>12809551280955

I have to admit that yours is perhaps the most intriguing (and baffling-ina good way!) comment I've received on this story!

Could it possibly be that a story, like life, is a combination of parts that we enjoy and dislike, but in the end, we're just glad that it has happened? In any case, I'm very glad that, despite whatever qualms you may have had with it, that you have fond memories of reading the story... and I'm especially glad that you took the time to comment today and get in touch! Thanks!

A wonderful piece of work. Thanks for sharing it.

>>12856851285685

I was very glad to! Thanks for reading and commenting!

"Kidney stones?"

>>13233861323386

Heh, indeed... they are only funny in retrospect...

another great story. I really like how it is written more from blues own thoughts than if he wrote it by hand... hoof?

there are elements that you know that he would only subconsciously include, and the disconnected musings really add to that feel.

you were able to successfully  make me feel very sympathetic for his sorrow and happy for blues at the same time Congrats!

>>13466861346686

I am very, very happy that you felt that Blues came off as an authentic character. While I personally never thought about how he was actually recording these thoughts, I'm glad that you enjoyed reading them!

>>13471281347128

I've read lots of mlp stories ( two hundred forty two exactly... yes I keep track of the stories I've read, author, word count and whether or not I liked the story in a excel spreadsheet ) obsessive... maybe... but my point is that while most of your stories aren't necessary long I really do like your writing style and that's why I'm slowly getting around to reading all of them amidst school, work my project bucket list and all my other "read later" stories.

I have finished reading this amazing story a few days ago and since then I wanted to leave some kind of comment here. And I have a huge problem. Because I feel that no matter what I say, no matter how sophisticated words I use, it simply won't be enough to properly appreciate the brilliance of this story. So now I'm just going to write what comes to my mind. I may regret it later, so please bear with me.

Let me start off by saying that Tangled up in Blues is not really my kind of story. Because it's one of those slice of life biographies that I wouldn't otherwise give a sh*t about (sorry about that ). Not only that, it's not even about one of the ponies that we all grew to love, but about an OC. And, to top it all, it's written in first person. Wow, a lot of difficulties to overcome.

And yet, despite all that, you marvelously managed to keep me interested in the beginning of the story. How? I won't dwell much on your skills in creating OCs, because they are very apparent - each of the characters is distinct with a very clear personality, each pony has their own traits and faults, each have dreams to fulfill and obstacles to overcome along the way. Let me just say that if anyone wanted some pointers on how to create an OC, they should just read this story.

But no, this is not what kept me reading. What did the trick was your ingenuity in craftily intertwining Blues' early adventures with the events showed in the episodes. Like how he had moved to Ponyville and had met Fluttershy (I have to agree with Blues here - she definitely is the cutest filly ), how Pinkie had wanted to throw him a party (practically throughout his whole stay in Ponyville) but had missed all the occasions, how he had taken part in the famous winter wrap up,

Image: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/5331373/screens/blues1.jpg

how he had met mane 6 back in Appleoosa (incidentally, isn't it Appleloosa? ),

Image: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/5331373/screens/blues2.jpg

how he had battled Darkloids in the dark corners of the Undernet...

Image: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/5331373/screens/blues3.jpg

Wait, that's a different Blues.

Back on the topic: the way you interjected all those tiny bits into his story is simply genius. Seriously, I have no words on how amazingly you managed to execute it. It's just... God, it's brilliant! Seriously, while I read the first part of the story, I kept looking forward to seeing which scene you would use next, which of the mane 6 Blues would meet... Though this cameos were few and far between, they were enough to give Blues canon credibility, while at the same time not overloading his amazing backstory with useless scenes. I still can't believe how brilliantly you managed to keep that perfect little balance. All of my kudos to you, sir.

Now notice I mentioned the first part of the story: the part where young Blues travels around all over Equestria in search of his song. But then (coincidentally with the ending of season 1), he travels back to Manehatten where he not only discovers the fate of his friend and mentor, Moody, but also decides that his young trashing around came to an end and he has to settle down. The reader discovers it along with him, and the change is so apparent that - while the story remains the same and thoroughly consistent - the style, setting, and theeming is totally different. It's a very obvious indication to the reader that the story is about to enter its more serious part. There will be no more scenes from the show, that part of Blues' life (and the story) is over, it's time to get more serious.

And boy, did you deliver there. The story about searching for the meaning of life remains essentially the same, but the approach changes drastically. Through every scene, every word, every letter and character, you make it completely clear that Blues' juvenile search is over and the new journey begins.

By Celestia and Luna, if only mere words could properly convey how amazed I was (and still am) by this brilliant execution.

I also feel the need to write about one last thing that, in my opinion, is the crown jewel of your writing skills. The scene where Runner joins Blues and his team and their families for the Blessing Day dinner. This very scene is the pinnacle of brilliant planning and marvelous execution I have read so far in ponydom. Each little sub-scene is filled with symbolic meaning, each raises the emotional load of the whole scene, each makes the scene deeper and more meaningful. I actually almost experienced a f*cking (pardon the word) out-of-body-reading-experience

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png

And what I saw blew my mind! I saw the amazing scene being built like a giant tower of Lego blocks. It was obscenely high, and yet you kept adding little bits and pieces, all the while keeping the perfect balance, not letting the tower topple or even flinch. While I read, I actually wondered how long you will manage to keep it all balanced like that. And you did till the very end! Not only that, you didn't then set the emotional explosion charges to blow it all up to pieces in a single, powerful, emotional break down. No, you graciously left it there, allowing the reader to quietly withdraw and marvel at your brilliant work from the distance.

I hope I'm making any kind of sense, or that what I wrote is at least understandable. If only I were more skilled at using words to express my thoughts.

If I wore a hat I would tip it of to you, good sir, because you're a writing genius. Thank you kindly for sharing such a deep, enthralling, and amazingly-written story. I know giving stars mean next to nothing now that they are merged with tracks, but it's the least I can do to show this story every appreciation it so richly deserves.

I mentioned in the beginning that Tangled up in Blues is not really my kind of story. But reading pony fiction of many of amazing writers taught me to appreciate and properly value written art. I hope I don't need to explicitly say that you are among those that I feel grateful to in that matter.

===

Before I depart, let me make four side remarks:

1.

He was a huge stallion, at least two hands bigger than me.

Hands? As in those hands Lyra is so obsessed about?

Image: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/5331373/screens/Lyra-hands.jpg

2. I see you mentioned some holidays even before they were introduced in season 2: Yule (Heartswarming Eve, right?) and Lovelaced Day (Hearts and Hooves Day, if I got it right). You nailed the Nightmare Night correctly (did the episode air before you had written that part of the story?), however, canon wise it certainly isn't true that the only adult ponies who participate are emotionally compromised stallion-foals who no sense of self-worth and don't care about looking like idiots in public.

3. I almost flipped when I read Blues' pondering about Penny's cutie mark. I can't shake the feeling that you somehow wanted to mildly criticize or even ridicule the flaws in the whole concept of marks, and why they sometimes seem more tied to the name of the pony rather than explaining their special talent. So yeah, the way you made Blues devise an overly complex and grossly over-thought analysis of Penny's mark, only to discover that it had more to do with her name than anything else, was simply brilliant!

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Scootaloo_lolface.png

I know you are probably bored right now from my constant use of this word, but it's the only thing I can really say about this story (both as a whole and as every separate part I took the liberty of analyzing ). I'm simply amazed.

4. A technical question: can you please explain to me why you have switched so freely between telling the story in past tense and in the present? It's the first story I have seen like that. Usually the writers stick to one tense and build the story accordingly. Now, I won't lie here: it was kind of confusing at times, especially in Appleloosa. But with the writer of your caliber I am positive it's a deliberate tactic. Let me apologize if what I'm asking is something very obvious, but you see, I'm not a native English speaker and I'd very much like to know the reasoning behind it.

And, finally this time, let me once again thank you for sharing this genius story (I learned so much while reading it! ), and for reading this windy comment (if you have made it this far, that is

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applebloom_lolface.png

Karach, if you had trouble finding words to describe your appreciation for the story, then I'm at a total loss to find ways to thank you for such an excellent review. I'm very, very happy that I was able to produce something that you found so moving, and I'm held aghast by a review of this order of excellence. You have my thanks for it.

To answer your questions:

1.) "Hands" are the traditional measure of height in horses, and I incorporated it here for a taste of the equine. It's kinda like how the character use horseshoes and saddles as decoration and as costumes for no reason whatsoever.

2.) I began revising this story whenever a new piece of canon came out, but I've fallen behind. I added Nightmare Night instead of what was originally there, but I have yet to change the name of the other holidays. In reality, I'm just lazy... ...

3.) Funny thing, isn't it?

4.) My intent here was to draw the reader into specific situations, to take the reader out of the first person and let the see the event transpire. The outcome was entirely different, confusing the reader. It was this issue alone that prevented the story from obtaining five stars on Chris's reading blog, and it is the "original sin" of the story.

Thank you, once again, for the great comments!

>>15358191535819

Imagine that! I come back here because, being the forgetful dumb f*ck I am , I totally forgot to favorite the story despite saying so (no worries, I totally fixed it just now, though ) only to find that you have ninja-replied to my comment.

I'm glad my humble review managed to convey a fraction of my appreciation of your marvelous story. And I have to admit I am surprised that this whole tense play was not deliberate, although now I know where the confusion came from.

Also, I would like to commend you on the consistency of your own head-canon shown in most of your stories. Having read a few of them by now, I now understand why you mentioned in a comment under your recent blogpost that even a slight hint in the show, that Sister Sovereigns were, or could ever be, anything less than goddesses, would be damaging to your fanon. Celestia Invictus and Luna Revenio are mentioned in nearly every one of your stories (that I've read so far, at least ) and are always portrayed as such - the powerful goddess, wielding the powers of Sun and Moon, and rulers of Equestria. Coincidentally, my vision of Equestria is pretty similar, that's probably why I can relate to yours with such ease.

Also, what I noticed (and again totally forgot to mention earlier ) was your brilliant (if a bit dark) explanation of the mare-to-stallion ratio in the populace of Equestria. Truly, wars would be a good excuse to send many a fine stallion on the battlefields, thus creating this very obvious gap between the number of mares and stallions, for example in Ponyville (which we can see in every episode of FiM). On this very topic, a little question, if I may: what are Sister Sovereigns warring (is that even a word?

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

>>15407261540726

I'm glad that you can see the consistency in my "personal fanon". It means a great deal to me, and it only gets bigger. Certain things certainly add to it, like Discord's reign, (I don't recall immediately if you've read "Hello" in my Fever Dreams), and others have the power to detract (Shining Armor is the captain of the royal guard, instead of a captain? Bullshit!)... it's all quite fragile. Oh, if only I had the power to sway canon! Why can't I go back in time to 1994, make money off the Internet boom, and buy Hasbro stock during the merger!? Why? Why?!

Anywho, as I see it, Equestria has been fighting The Wars for centuries (A Cup of Joe), as races, nations, and clans keep pressing into Equestria as they try to escape the growing power of a certain darkness... that is, the Witches who are ever-so-slowly waking from their millenia upon millenia of death-like dreaming into which the sisters cast them (Heart of the Mountain), and the living blackness that surrounds them, the Smooze.

That's probably the most I've eve given away in a comment, so don't tell anyone else!

Why can't I go back in time to 1994, make money off the Internet boom, and buy Hasbro stock during the merger!? Why? Why?!

Image: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/5331373/time%20spells.jpg

OK, Heart of the Mountain has just been promoted to my read-immediatelly-and-I-mean-right-now list. Which probably means I will read it at Monday. You have mentioned the Withes in The Silent Shore, which I read just yesterday. And boy, did you show the power of Sister Sovereigns there. Incidentally, I still have to visit the story page and drop a comment there.

So, by now I get that this Smooze thing is a gooish substance from the previous (or earlier) generation shows. Do the Witches come from before G4 also? Please consider this question of no importance if you explain it in Heart of the Mountain. In that case I will just read and see.

don't tell anyone else!

Your secret is safe with me.

damn, this is a damn good fic. moody never died in vain, he died so blues could make his own blues.

I would like to preface this by saying that this definitely earns a spot on your criminally under-appreciated stories list, although I understand your reluctance to put it there :/.

Preface the second: After seeing this post in its entirety, I realized I may have over-done this one. Feel free to skip it

I honestly think you couldn't surprise me anymore with the strength of your writing, yet after reading what is undoubtedly the best emotional fan-story (and possibly even emotional story of every genre), I stand corrected.

For the first half of the story I was afraid that this was to be a Shakespearean tragedy, although perhaps with a little less bloodshed, and that Blues was fated to be comically mis-fortunate for the remainder of his life. Each time his world comes crashing down you definitely succeeded in expressing the crushing feeling he must have had, and each time it definitely made him much stronger because of it.

I particularly want to note the part where he begs Cherry for a reason to stay in Appaloosa, yet is not given one. It was clearly heart-wrenching, and yet moments later he sends a stallion who might hopefully help her out of her shell, proving his strength of character.

For me, the first clue I got that this was not to be tragic was when he began talking with the young Penny, Showing the same kindness that was shown to him years ago. Taffy's reaction was also extremely believable, which immediately made her stand out as a strong mare.

The long time it took for Taffy to finally accept Blue as a proper gentle-colt really made their coming together far sweeter, which in turn really shows just how completely Blues' life has turned around.

In this roller-coaster of emotions you even found room for a decent amount of comedic relief, particularly with all of the deux-ex-machina. Having also just read 'To Change a Heart', I often found myself wondering if Chance was having a little fun with Blues. My favorite of these came towards the end of the soldier appreciation day:

"Hey!" called Short, reading a warning label, "It says don't anchor to the main post while expanding the

guidelines or you could fall through the seam!"

"What? I can't hear you! I'm anchoring to the main post while expanding the guideline!" I called back as I fell

through the seam.

That one had me in hysterics

Finally, I loved seeing Blues come full circle in taking Penny under his wing. For me it really exemplified the propagation of a legacy, one that influences a great number of individuals.

All in all, a roller-coaster of feels, both happy and sad, with a very strong story and even a few lessons to be had. While I may be biased in having read it so recently, right now I would call this my new favorite emotional story, not limited to the the pony or any other fandom.

Thank you again and keep up the great work,

Fleet Foot

P.S. I understand that you have a great many comments to read, and only so much time in which to read them. I just realized that by writing these I am somewhat obligating you to spend more time than you may intend.

I would like to know, would you prefer I shorten my responses to "Great work, have a mustache "

or should I continue to write circuitous and droning monologues to your work? I will do my best to honor either response.

>>15995991599599

I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! We all have parts to play in the lives of others, and that's what Moody knew... and what Blues knows now too!

>>16020901602090

Fleet, I revel in long, insightful monologues that my readers leave me. Please do write whatever the spirit moves you to write in reply.

I'm very glad that I was able to present such a wide variety of emotions in this work. It was a story which I found inordinately easy to write, and it was as though Blues wanted to have his story told. Billy Shakespeare and I agree on a lot of things, but I wasn't about to let Blues suffer, and I try to paint something of redemption and reconciliation into each of my works.

I'm very glad that you liked the scene with Cherry. It was the clearest picture I could paint of Blues, that even though he had discovered that he was "not that stallion", he still cared about her enough to want her to be happy.

His interaction with Penny was indeed the most important moment in the story, as it was both the literal and figurative moment where he went from being a colt to being a stallion. "Any guy can be a father, but only a man can be a dad," as it were. That his relationship with Taffy grew out of that was a key element, and I'm glad it worked for you.

Yes, I loved the scene with the tent flap as well.

I'm very glad that you are enjoying these works, and thanks for such great replies!

This story is simply beautiful. I have not been on a roller coaster of emotions since "Keeping it simple" . I feel truly grateful that you would share this with us. Thank you for this story.(god this sounds so freaking corny but this is how I feel and I am NOT going to hide it!)

>>17749781774978

It's wonderful to receive such a gushing comment, so don't worry about it! Thanks for taking the time to read all of these works of mine, and this one in particular!

I almost wish this could be rewritten to a non-pony form. I wish for all of my dearest friends and family to read it. Are you/have you written any novels not involving colorful ponies? I would promote that shit so hard. Every social media I know of.

Wow. Just... wow. I was afraid of the feels, and so I put off reading this. The feels were certainly there, but they showed me that while powerful, I shouldn't be afraid of them.

Oh wow. I can't, dude, just... just... nrgl.

>>17790621779062

I have written them... but they were rejected by the publishers!

If one ever does get through, I'll be sure to let you know!

>>17803881780388

Yes, yes! Let the feels compel you!

I'm very glad you're enjoying it!

Enchanting. This story is wonderful so far, and I will read more as the days go on. You have a knack for telling us a tale, it seems. Marvelous.

- Church

>>18718011871801

I certainly look forward to your thoughts on the upcoming chapters!

That was great.

Oh and Big Mac's got war wounds? What?

Horray for Blues!

>>20559402055940

>>20560822056082

Yup, that's my explanation as to why he was bandaged up in Apple Bucking Season. His old war wounds were bothering him. I'm glad that you are enjoying how it is working out for Blues!

This story is just amazing. You took a character that I had never even noticed before and made one of the most emotional stories I have ever read. I'm gonna be having a Blues desktop pony wandering around for a while now and (forgive me for this horrible use of your line) my desktop is going to be painted blue

>>21428292142829

He he! Let him trot! I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading and commenting!

One of the most heartfelt stories I have ever read. The ways of the blues is strong, you made me feel like I was painted blue. I wish I could listen to the music and the emotions that flow from it. Thank you for writing this.

>>22634302263430

I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! It makes me very happy to now that it was so vivid for you. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

This is an awesome story so far, a strong character piece. The blues theme is nice too (I put on some Mississippi Fred McDowell while reading this, it goes together very well).

The only issue I have with it is the constant "time travel" between the past and present tense. I've got nothing against the present tense, I even think this story might work better in the present than in the past, but in Celestia's name, please pick one and stick with it...

Okay, this is going in my page favourites. Damn, man.

If you ever need an editor for those tense shifts, let me know. A story as awesome as this deserves the extra polish.

>>24620062462006

>>24622892462289

Yeah, the tense shifts are part of the "original sin" of this work. They are errors that I'll never fully be able to repair.

I'm very glad that you enjoyed the work! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!

>>24676152467615 Eh, it would just be a matter of going through the story with a fine comb (and a steady supply of caffeine) and fixing all the wrong tenses.

Image: http://dc605.4shared.com/img/94Zockm_/s7/Clean_All_The_Things_Clean.png

I'd be happy to volunteer. But it's your story, of course, so if you like it just fine this way I won't bother you further.

>>24678082467808

I'm sorely tempted to take you up on that offer...

>>24722292472229 Well, it stands.

>That or he had realized how depressed I was as he saw me coming down the street…probably the later.

>later

>not "latter"

Saw this back in A Cup of Joe, too. That "t" is awfully lonely without its soul mate standing by it, y'know?

>>25723412572341

Heh, and ya haven't even gotten to the mysterious changing tenses yet.

>>25730262573026

Aaand finished.

'Fraid I can't say this one really caught my fancy. The tensing errors are rampant (as you yourself noted) and there's more than enough other flubs to keep them company through the otherwise-lonesome nights writing mistakes look forward to. The story dragged its feet (hooves?) and felt quite slow in the closing chapters. Before, the quick pace of plot developments helped to support the story but, as it came to a head, those reader revelations stopped coming and the oft-repetitive exposition only served to push the pace deeper into the mire. It was around the end of the penultimate chapter that the eight deadly words bubbled forth from the inner recesses of my mind: I don't care what happens to these people.

Whereas most of the story was just Blues by his lonesome with only the odd companion, the last stretch had him surrounded with a multitude of characters, none of whom felt like they were really developed to me, yet demanded page time all the same. The minor tragedies of his life gave way to the Hollywood ending, which stood in stark contrast to the vast majority of the story (I've always been a pyrrhic victory-end kind of guy, though). I found myself skimming and outright skipping parts of the conclusion out of dogged determination to at least know the ending to the story I had sunk my hours into reading.

Again, an early story on your part, but I'm not reviewing for "Good Effort!" star stickers here. While I won't say my time was wasted, there is little doubt in my mind that it could have been better spent on other endeavours (my stories aren't going to write themselves, after all, no matter how much I wish they would).

>>25766172576617

Oh well, at least you're honest.

>>25777192577719

Forgive me if I seem to be jumping to conclusions, but you seem to be saying that in the way one would before following up with something along the lines of "Stupid, but honest".

Perhaps the story does not matter much to you anymore, but I can't help but feel as if my comment is worth more than a questionably phrased single-sentence reply. Of course, I may just be feeling entitled here.

>>25783792578379

Quite the contrary. My single line is an attempt to avoid the conflicts that I invariably find myself drawn into when I try to defend my stories. It would be awful of me to sit here and try to tell you why you should enjoy this story when, succinctly, you obviously didn't.

I am sorry if I came across as pithy, but I've been writing fan fiction for a great long while, and I've found that it's better to simply acknowledge criticism and move on from there. I appreciate your honest critique, and I would never suggest stupidity on the part of anyone who offered such a lengthy explanation of their feelings about a work. I'm sorry if I seemed dismissive.

>>25784172578417

The comment is more an invitation to discuss how to avoid the problems next time around or defend your position; I've been corrected on various mechanical rules or been informed of plot developments that I had forgotten that explained parts of a story I had criticized before and, as such, try to keep an open mind. If I can't take it, well, I shouldn't be dishing it, eh? Granted, again, this is an old work and you've assuredly grown as a writer in that time, so any discussion would probably be of limited use or completely outmoded.

It is one thing to say "Yes, I realize that story elements X, Y and Z could use work" and another thing entirely to say "Isn't that adorable, you have opinions" (not that I'm implying yours was so gregarious, just using it to highlight the difference). The difference between tipping the waiter a fiver and throwing four pennies with some pocket lint onto the bill, if you will. They both acknowledge the other person, but one shows that you didn't just brush it off and offer some words as a consolation prize.

And I apologise if I seemed too accusatory. Experience has taught me that many of the internet's writers do not take too kindly to criticism, so your terse reply triggered some of my old biases.