Tea Party With A Draconequus
Tea Party With A Draconequus
by Arcelia
The timid pegasus waved a dismissive hoof. “It’s okay, Rarity. I understand. Would you like some tea? I brewed it myself.”
As she listened to her friend’s offer, a red and white ball of fur swiftly passed her from the corner of her eye. I swear I just saw Angel wearing a waistcoat. Rabbits don’t wear formal attire, do they? Maybe they do and I just haven’t noticed. That is rather odd.
“Rarity?” asked a soft, buttery voice.
“Yes?” she responded, snapping back to reality.
“Would you care for some tea?” Fluttershy asked again, her voice hinting with annoyance.
A red and white figure emerged from underneath the table and gleamed in the corner of her eye.
“Oh! Certainly my dear, I would love—there he is again!”
Rarity rose to her hooves, planting her forehooves onto the table and causing numerous tea pots to jump.
The rabbit turned to stare back at her, its red waistcoat set off with the warm, soothing colours of the afternoon sun. Rarity stared into its mesmerizing blue eyes and watched carefully as a large, golden pocket watch appeared. The watch gleamed brilliantly in the daylight.
A lighthearted giggled suddenly erupted from Fluttershy. “Rarity, this a very good friend of mine. He’s just not in his usual form, that’s all.”
Rarity’s smile faded as her heart sunk. Strange magic was at play here, but what? What was a white rabbit in a waistcoat doing in Equestria?
“All right, playtime’s over now. You can join us again as your usual self,” Fluttershy said, pouring another cup of tea into a fine, porcelain cup.
“Oh, but I was having so much fun,” spoke a familiar voice.
A bright flash of light erupted from the rabbit, followed by a tall and angular figure. “You should’ve seen the look on your face, Rarity! You were absolutely petrified!” the draconequus exclaimed as he burst into fits of laughter.
“Discord! I should’ve known you would be the one to act so childish!” Rarity spat as she seated herself once more.
“Oh come now, Rarity, I was only having a little bit of fun. Besides, Fluttershy here personally invited me to her little tea party. Which is an offer I simply could not refuse— we are friends after all,” said Discord, before placing a large six layer cake onto the table. “Now, who would like some cake? I hear its delicious!” he exclaimed as he plunged into the tower of sugar, sending pink and white icing everywhere.
A blue aura surrounded Rarity’s cup as she took a sip of her soothing beverage. “Well I at least hoped you would be a little more civilised.”
“Civilised? You want me to be civilised? Well why didn’t you just say so?” asked Discord before disappearing in a murky grey cloud.
It wasn’t long before he reappeared again, seated in a high-back arm chair and dressed in a delicate blue waistcoat, top hat, and monocle. “Is this civilised enough for you, my dear?”
Rarity simply sighed. “I suppose it will have to do.”
“Would anypony like some butternut cheesecake?” asked Fluttershy, who up until now had been rather quiet. “Pinkie Pie made it for me. She said it was her special treat and begged me to take it as a gift. Isn’t that nice of her?”
“Yes, indeed. But that does remind me, why didn’t you invite some of your other friends? Don’t you think it’s a little rude not to invite Twilight?” Discord asked, taking a sip of his tea. “After all, she is an alicorn princess now isn’t she?” He waved a gilded scepter around.
Rarity simply glared at Discord; his impertinent questions could wait for another day. She had come to enjoy a cup of tea with a dear friend of hers and she would not let that be ruined by the unexpected presence of the Lord of Chaos.
“So what was it? What did Princess Twilight do that was so dreadful that you couldn’t possibly invite her to your little tea party?”
“Pardon me, Discord,” Rarity replied, “but Twilight has done absolutely nothing wrong. These weekly tea parties were arranged so Fluttershy and I could spend some alone time together without the obstacles of daily life getting in the way.”
She took a sip of tea.
“Oh, is that so? But how might the Element of Generosity feel about Twilight’s promotion? You wouldn’t happen to be just a teeny bit jealous of the fact that she became an alicorn princess and you didn’t, just because she was the student of Princess Celestia and you weren’t?’
Discord squeezed his paws together as to emphasise the presumably small weight of Rarity’s jealousy. “Isn’t it unfair how you’re still just a simple unicorn making dresses and she’s a princess ruling her own kingdom?” he pressed, now wearing a royal robe and crown.
A scornful look appeared on Rarity’s face, her mouth curled up into a scowl as Discord gave her a smug smirk.
“Ha! I knew it, you are jealous of her! Colour me unsurprised!”
A fit of laughter erupted from Discord as brightly coloured spots quickly covered his body.
“I said no such thing—there is no reason for me to be jealous. A lady is never envious of her friends and even if I were, I wouldn’t go about saying it like it was the latest headline on the Ponyville Times.”
“Well well well! It seems we have quite a dishonest little party guest now don’t we?” Discord’s nose lengthened, stopping short of poking Rarity in the eye. “One would assume that a sophisticated mare such as yourself wouldn’t lie to a trustworthy friend like me.”
His nose retracted with a low whistling sound. “But don’t worry, Rarity. I know how exactly how you feel. You see, I used to be a jealous little drama queen myself you know.”
“What. Did you just call me?” Rarity asked through clenched teeth.
“Oh, nothing, my dear—just telling Fluttershy how much I love this cherry lime cheesecake. It’s absolutely to die for!” Discord turned into a granite tombstone and hovered in midair for a second before changing back. “Wouldn’t you agree, Rarity? Or are you too jealous of your friend’s cooking skills to even pay compliment to the chef?”
Rarity’s blood boiled as she sat there. Her eyes narrowed as she stared straight ahead, remaining perfectly poised as she drank her tea.
“What’s the matter, Rarity? Was the tea not good enough for your elegant taste buds? Or what would be if not for your rural upbringing here in Ponyville? Was it hard pretending to be a high society pony while everypony saw right through your little charade? Did they laugh when you accidentally mistook the janitor’s closet for the restroom? Or that time when all your Ponyville ‘friends’ showed up at the garden party and made an absolute fool of themselves?”
Discord slithered around the back of her chair as he slurred the words off the tip of his tongue. He cleared his throat before continuing.
“Discord!” Fluttershy cried out.
“Was it hard pretending to be the proud designer of an unfinished dress while Fancy Pants saved your plot, as you almost disowned your friends? Because what’s more important than having the entire high society of Canterlot kissing up to you like you're the belle of a debutante ball?” he asked, placing his mouth next to her ear, his breath hot against her coat.
“Discord, stop it! You’re upsetting her!” Fluttershy exclaimed once more, slamming her hooves against the table. But the God of Chaos merely flashed her a crooked smile and turn back to Rarity.
“Is that really more important than your friends? Is pretending to be something you’re not the most important thing? Is acting like a sophisticated unicorn as you slowly die inside knowing you’ll only ever be just a simple country pony all you ever want out of life?” he finally finished, a satisfied smile on his face as though he had done some great deed.
“Enough!”
Rarity stood from her chair. ‘I’ve had absolutely enough of your rude—” she moved towards Discord “—Impertinent—” she shoved Discord lightly “—Questions!” she shouted, her eyes stained red with hot, wet tears. She pushed past him and fled into the nearby meadow.
Fluttershy leaped out of her seat and into the air. “Discord! How could you? You’ve hurt Rarity’s feelings and now you must apologise,” she said, extending a hoof out behind her.
“Oh, Fluttershy, I was only having a bit of fun,” he began, his eyes lingered towards the ground. A wretched feeling suddenly settling in his gut. “You don’t honestly think I intended on hurting Rarity’s feelings now, do you? I mean sure, perhaps I did take a little bit too far this time…but I really didn’t—”
“Enough!” Fluttershy placed her hooves on her hips. “I want you to go out there and say you’re sorry. You’ve made a big sticky mess with the cake, hurt my friend’s feelings, and now you’ve hurt m-mine too.” Her eyes were shining.
“But, Fluttershy, I didn’t mean—”
“Just go!” she said, a muffled sob added to her tears.
Discord could feel an awful ache in his heart as he dragged his sorry, guilty, chaotic self into the nearby woods. Never in his life had he felt so liable for anything. Sure, he had done evil, unforgivable things before—but this? This was beyond cruel. He needed to make it up to Fluttershy and Rarity somehow for ruining their tea party. But how?
He felt a soft, cool sensation beneath him as his attention turned to the brightly coloured flowers that surrounded the nearby forest floor. An idea formed in his mind as he heard the loud, undignified cries of a pony echo through the trees.
Discord started collecting flowers off the ground and weaving them together in a certain, circular shape. He hummed to himself quietly as he worked, taking no notice of the sudden silence that filled the afternoon air.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Rarity’s loud, cries soon slowed to a slight sniffle as she heard the cracking of leaves and a slight humming coming from nearby. She looked around the quiet meadow but found no sign of anypony humming, just the tranquility of the forest.
Not wanting to get off the large, rather comfortable log she had been sitting on, Rarity remained there, pondering on whether or not this day could get any worse. What she had hoped would be a quiet, sophisticated tea party had become a chaotic, unpleasant afternoon with none other than the Lord of Chaos himself.
“Why did Fluttershy have to invite Discord? This whole thing could’ve been avoided if only—oh!”
Her eyes moved up, a hoof coming to her mouth. She was pleasantly relieved to find a well-made flower crown in her hair. It was intertwined with different coloured daisies, but the question remained: who had made it?
“Discord?” she asked aloud, quickly looking for any sign of the draconequus.
“Oh, Rarity, aren’t you just a teeny bit surprised that such an uncivilised draconequus such as me would even have the heart to make such a lovely gift?” he said, pressing his paws up against his heart as he battered his eyelids.
Rarity simply sighed, removing the flowers from her mane. “Yes I am, but what surprises me more is that you even came all the way out here. I didn’t even think you cared about me,” she replied, her attention focused on something else.
“Why of course, Rarity. Isn’t that what friends are for?”
“If we’re friends then why were you so mean to me?” she asked, rising to her hooves.
“I only wanted to gain your trust. I just didn’t think that we had enough time to bond yet” he explained, tying a purple silky ribbon around their two bodies, pulling them closer together.
“Well, if you wanted me to trust you then all you had to was make sure I felt safe around you. True friends know that they can trust each other with anything, no matter what it is—and they won’t go sending it off to the presses,” Rarity explained, trying to free herself from Discord’s grip.
“Was that all? Very well then, it should only be a matter of time before you well and truly trust me,” he said, unwinding the silk ribbon, sending Rarity spiralling to the ground.
“What’s this? Is the elegant and graceful Rarity a bit of a klutz?” he asked, taking a photograph. “Let’s alert the presses, shall we?” he asked rhetorically, adorned in a fedora and waistcoat, mindlessly clicking away at a typewriter.
“Discord! I thought you were here to apologise!” Rarity exclaimed.
“Oh, deary me! It seems I was so wrapped up in the excitement that I forgot what I came here for,” Discord said as he dusted himself off. “Yes, I should probably apologise for my rude and indiscreet behaviour now, shouldn’t I?”
He scratched his head. “Now, what’s the best way to go about that?”
Rarity simply rolled her eyes; it was as though he had never made a formal apology before.
“Ah yes, now I remember.”
Discord clicked his paws. “Rarity, I would like to apologise for my rude behaviour and all those mean things I said. You see, after you ran away I felt terribly sorry and I just want to make it up to you. After all, I was invited and maybe next time I’ll know how to be a better guest. What do you say?” he asked.
The answer trembled on Rarity’s lips. She wasn’t so sure if she should trust him, but the look in his eyes seemed almost genuine. Perhaps she should give him another chance…
“Oh, all right.”
She sighed and placed the flowers back in her hair.
“Great, because I have the perfect plan!” Discord said, chuckling to himself.
“And what might that be?” Rarity narrowed her eyes.
“Oh, you’ll see. Not to worry—I’ve got it all worked out.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Hello, Fluttershy! Rarity and I have returned from our little get-together in the forest and now we’re ready to return to the party.”
“Why hello, Discord. Have you and Rarity made up? I sure hope so because while you were away, I brewed us another pot of tea,” Fluttershy replied.
“I would absolutely love some tea, Fluttershy! Just as long as we get to pour it out of my very own tea pot!”
Discord stretched out his arms and cracked his paws before seating himself in the armchair. He let out a long yawn and with a loud, sharp click of his fingers brought a new, peculiar creation to the table.
“I call it my Pot of Pandemonium!” he announced placing a large, odd-looking pot onto the table.
The two mares gasped at the sight of such an intriguing shape. Its three spouts didn’t do much to help it either; the oddly painted spots on the base and vine-like handle were only the beginning of a truly nonsensical work of art.
“Who would like to see some dancing teapots?” he asked.
“Just as long as dancing is all they’ll be doing, then I’m fine with it,” Rarity said, sipping her newly brewed tea.
Discord glanced at Fluttershy.
“Oh, that would be wonderful.” Fluttershy beamed as she waited for the show to start.
With a snap of his fingers, the table erupted to life. Teapots danced about the table, whistling, hooting and howling as a bright, colorful display turned a drab, mundane tea party into something special.
Although she had been quiet the entire time, Rarity could feel an utmost joy in her heart as a smile crept its way onto her face. It was as though someone had changed her eye lens from disappointed to overwhelmed. In all her years of tea party hosting, she had never seen anything quite like this.
As a young filly, it had been a common tradition for Rarity to have tea parties with all her soft, fluffy friends but today had been something quite different. She had found a kind of inner peace that was not often found in the hearts of ponies who never got to see their dreams come true. But today her dream had and maybe it was the lime cheesecake talking, but Rarity could have sworn she saw Discord wink at her from the corner of his eye.
A content, satisfied sense of relief washed over her as she leaned back in her chair and enjoyed the show; the whimsical, nonsensical, childlike apparatus that took the stage of Fluttershy’s white clothed table and became the merry-go round of life.
It was just another tea party, except this time, with a Draconequus.
The End
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I loved this! :D
5166746
Thank you.
5167714
Thank you so much for your feedback, I'm really glad that I wrote Discord's character okay. I was really nervous because this is my first time writing about him and I wasn't sure how I would do. But as long as one person likes it, I'm happy.
Hi there! My friend, Cerulean Voice, recommended this to me earlier today, and mentioned that you were hoping for some feedback. Unfortunately, I'm on my phone so I'll have to keep it brief. Overall, I greatly enjoyed the story itself. You really captured the characters well, especially Discord. The only thing I might suggest is that you work just a bit on pacing out the story so the reader can be fully immersed. Just my opinion though. Also, on the subject of immersing the reader, it might make sense for Fluttershy to interject sooner to try and stop Discord, but have her pleas go unheeded.
As said, this is a good story! I look forward to seeing more from you!
Enjoyable story, badly paced. My impression as a reader is that Discord came out of the blue to slam into Rarity and hurt her with all the intent of pre-reform Discord. And then he feels bad for some reason. We also have no perspective into his mind as to why he's being an asshole in the first place. The character had Discord's voice but that was about all he had.
Rarity seemed fairly in character up until she forgave Discrod too quickly and then got over what he said fast enough to be joyful at the dancing tea party for inadequately explained reasons. If those parts had been expanded to have Rarity more hesitant and sliding into getting over it then it would feel more natural.
Fluttershy was out of character for the simple fact that she didn't really exist in the story. Unnecessary except to frame the reason for the tea party. Other than that, she got annoyed at Rarity too early and stepped in to try and stop the person viciously attacking her friend to late.
So, in summary, you got Discord's voice and Rarity's character for the most part, but need to slow down the pacing and describe what the characters are feeling more.
And, of course, remember to take my criticism with a grain of salt. Besides the fact that I am simply an individual; I've been reading the closest to epic fantasy I've come across on this site, so my perspective may be skewed.
5168588
I'll take into consideration what you have said and I hope you look forward to my future works. 
5169054
Thank you very much for your feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed my story, but I'm sorry you found some major errors in my work.
5170195 Don't misunderstand. For a first work, this is not bad at all. There's some stuff to improve on, but no one is excluded from that. I have a couple friends who tear my stuff apart to help me improve. Just try to take it as stuff to keep in mind next time around. Your writing isn't actually that bad at all. I was genuine when I said I look forward to what you do next because I want to see you grow as a writer here. So, keep it up.
For a first story, especially with Discord, I think you did very well! I read your other reviews, and when it comes to how you can improve, I agree with the pacing and getting into the characters' mind. Why did Discord pop into the party? His intention seemed exactly to be how it read: to annoy Rarity and make her cry. So the fact that he felt bad, well, it made me a little confused. I also think Fluttershy could have had more of a part in the story, and I couldn't imagine her getting angry at Rarity for being distracted and missing her question. But I think you have the characterization of Discord and Rarity down pretty well, for the most part. I think you have a lot of potential, and while there are improvements that could be made (as that's how it is for all pieces of writing--and your chapter has fewer grammatical errors than mine usually do, it looked beautiful), I would love to see more from you. Especially if it has Discord and Fluttershy in the equation!
Upvote for you, definitely!
5171281
Thank you for your feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed my story and I will take what you've just told me into consideration as I continue to grow in my skills.
Very nice Discord story, I have to say. A touch under-chaotic for my tastes, but really, that's not saying anything at all. Seriously, great work.
You can has review!