Equestria is in ruin, and the virus continues to spread. But from the shadows emerges a group of soldiers that may be able to stop the outbreak. As they fight their way through the wasteland of mutated beings that once were their Equestrian friends, they discover that there is more to a mass outbreak than just a simple cleanup job...
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I'm sorry for any spelling errors. My keyboard isn't exactly the best in the world, but I will do by best to fix any I find. The first two chapters are merely storyline, not very exciting. 3 and so on are much better. Bear with me, and give them a try!
(If you have played Resident Evil - Operation Raccoon City, do NOT accuse me for chapters one and two. I know they are exact. It's storyline. Deal with it and read on.)
It's meh. that's all i can say. It certainly isnt good. But it's not quite bad.
473766 I can live with that. But I will be making more soon. It shall be much better once they are released! Oh, you just wait...
Interesting, but this is pretty much RE:OR with ponies.
You should try to avoid using the same events, dialogue, characters, etc etc.
I'm working on an outbreak story, too, but it's going to be more realistic. There's no zombies, and it focuses more on the psycological.
I'll read this, cuz disease fascinates me. I see myself starting the zombie apocalypse in 10 years.
You seem to relate to Acid in this story. She's quite the virologist as well. Enjoy...
473979 I'm doing my best, but I am starting to mix it up a little in Chapter 3. I shall do my best to take your advice. It is only my first fanfiction, you know. I'll get better, but I'm still liking where this first one is going...
But really, who cares about me?
The chapter was interesting, if not a bit out of the MLP universe. But, what the hay, it's a fanfic. I'll keep reading.
474050 Good, good. I try to reflect the MLP universe as much as possible. In Chapter 3 and so forth, I will be starting to base entirely off my own imagination. It will be more into ponies, and a twist or two I think you'll enjoy.
This part was okay, just a few minor spelling mistakes.
I have to say one thing, though. You're style of writing, the way you put side-text as if this story is a spoken conversation, it kinda disrupts the flow. This would probably work if this were a comedy, but I don't think that's the case. Here is an example:
Killing the creatures one by one with shots to their exposed brains (How convenient),
I dunno, it just kind of bothers me. Oh and one more thing, your action sequences seem a bit rushed:
Gunfire, light, stabbing, more gunfire, dead ponies.
Still pretty good, though. I wait for the next chapter.
474092 I know. I am actually working on both of those. The beginning is fast-paced, and a little less detailed due to the short part in the storyline. I know you'll love chapter 3. Keep up on the feedback, and I'll edit where I can.
474098
Sure thing. Good luck!
474098 I assume that, like me, the first chapter was basically you honing in on the story. I must say. This chapter is much better than the first. There is the occasionall punctual error but the story itself is good. You have suprised me. Good work, and have a like.
Trust me. I know how hard it is writing a zombie fic. Even well written ones struggle for attention. I've been writing Undead Equestria for a long time now. I've kind of slowed down a lot considering my main focus right now is Wrong Hospital Niko Bellic. But believe you me, I know your struggles.
>>Sorren I'll just throw in as much creativity as I can. I'm sure it can be plenty good. And yes, I did follow the story in the first couple chapters. That can be the kickoff to the story, but I'll hav the rest better.
Pretty good, I'm not seeing any grammar/spelling mistakes. I can't say anything against the plot, since it is still developing.
The twist was expected (you are following the RE storyline, right?), but their allegaince with Harrow switched pretty quickly. I couldn't blame them, it was pretty messed up with what they did.
The anticipation you built up is certainly working. I'm not going to leave a long review, partly because nothing is wrong, but mostly because I want to keep on reading.
So far, so good. One small spelling mistake, "acces granted", it is spelled "access". That's pretty much it.
I have a question: why does X-Ray talk in so many... ellipses?
It sounds like he is out of breath all the time.
502528 I am working on grammar. I know how to spell very well. My keyboard is terrible and this does not have spell check. Second, I hated the Harrow's End alliance, too, and I want this story based off it more, and third, it said in chapter one that X-Ray was shot in the neck as a colt, so now he always wears a respirator, is short on breath, and pauses midsentence because he can't speak long before taking another breath. I'm working on it, and it will get continually better.
502528 I have completed this story, and am working on the sequel, but I never got a response from you. How did you enjoy the story? Did I improve? Are you reading the sequel? I loved your constant reviews! Let me know!!!
Isn't acid supposed to have very little empethy for life? I can't see her (four eyes, if that's who you're basing her on) having a kid.. Sorry, I know it's your story and you can do what you want, I just see it as a little.. OOC.
3229173 Well, she disregarded her experiments, but she'd defend her family with her life. Don't know why I didn't notice that before, but I wrote this back when I'd only just started writing, so it's not my best, but the sequels are coming out AMAZING!
if only belthaway could have kicked that damn door open is the game...
This story has been infected...
This story in coming along really well.
5920882 WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU FIND THIS STORY!? D:
I kid, I kid. But siriusly, thanks! I'm happy this story isn't completely barren. 'Tis my favorite X3
Ok I have to point out lickers don't die from head shots there weak points are hearts on there chests otherwise loads of shots and why are you only using four when you could have sent the entire team
Oh come on you skipped a epic fight in the hospital and hunters but I will admit you pulled the strings on this one better