Apologies (Author chapter)
It is with deepest regret that I confess that I am incapable of properly finishing this story. My inspiration for the story is completely gone. This story was born out of a time when I was SEVERELY annoyed with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their perpetual lack of progress. They have since gotten their marks and become far better ponies than they were before.
In addition, and I am willing to admit this now, I'm seeing problems in how I was writing Twilight Sparkle.
I cannot, in good conscience, pretend that I'll be able to finish this story.
I am sorry, and humbly beg the forgiveness of everyone who likes this story.
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You do what you gotta do.
Well, at least you know and aren't leaving us all in the dark.
thumbs-up for effort...
So...top ten things I didn't expect to see today.
I was interested in seeing this story continued, but I understand your disinterest. Also, I hate to rub it in, but Twilight really wasn't easy to swallow here.
Good luck with your future endeavors.
Got into the feature box you know, hadn't come across this story till you posted this apology. But seriously you have respect for saying that you won't continue and not leave anyone in the dark.
8183095 If I'm unable to continue a story, I figured I might as well admit it.
There's a few on my fanfiction.net account that need these notices...
Why not do a time jump?
just take the story a few years into the future, and explain what has happened. That way you could finish the chapter, and also tell everyone what happened to Spike and the CMC.
Heck could even have the CMC GET their marks by helping to heal spike!!!!
Just never stop writing!
You throw away this one today, you write something better tomorrow!
Thanks for the closure. Although, the different take on Twilight's behavior was actually one of the most interesting parts of this story. Everyone has a breaking point where composure fails.
8183218 My idea for Twilight is that she would have realized she was going insane due to stress of the past few adventures, but only after killing Starlight Glimmer, who'd ambush her in the Empire. She would abdicate her throne, and stay in the Crystal Empire to receive therapy.
The problem was the Cutie Mark Crusader part. I just have no idea how to write their own redemption arc for this story...
And I've honestly forgotten what my plans were for Trixie becoming a guardsman...
its a interesting concept and i wanted to see how to story progress
but since you discontinued this would you mind if i adopt this story? i wanted to see if i can remake this
during season seven or season six
Yeah, honestly my only real problem with the fic. Was that all the blame for what happened fell on the Crusaders. Yet, Twilight left highly dangerous metals unguarded / shielded as you'd do with any unstable compound. Her lab was a disaster waiting to happen (from how it was described, and how Spike was walking around with his arms filled with stuff rather than safety stuff. And honestly if it wasn't the CMC, it was bound to happen anyways (I actually made that comment a few years back). And let's not forget that she taught Apple Bloom; Her changing things from how she taught AB through numerous Twilight Times. Falls directly on Twilight.
So all the blame being piled on them. Was both unfair, and a bit unrealistic. On the whole "It's all their fault" set up.
That said, this story did have some potential (with only a few changes needed. Since they were being a tad irresponsible. But there were tons of chances for the adults to have changed things before they got that far. Which means that it's the adults fault, and Twilight's fault. More than it is the Crusaders.), , and it's sad to see it end.
8183350 I would have really enjoyed reading that sequence of events, especially since after re-reading it, you had Discord interacting with Twilight really well. He would have made a great cell-mate for her, post-Glimmer.
For the CMCs...I don't know if this has been done before, but Gabby is basically them (the drive for a Cutie Mark at least). It would require some finagling to get her in Ponyville ahead of the Gilda-redemption episode, but forcing the CMC to chaperone, supervise, and be responsible for everything Gabby did trying to get a Cutie Mark (slightly OOC Gabby who is as destructive as the CMC normally are) would make them realize and confront their own actions over the course of the Crusade.
I know the fic is canceled now and you're probably more relieved not to have it hanging overhead as an incomplete, but I'll hold out hope you might come back to it. Discord swearing at Twilight, the CMC and DT getting what they honestly deserve, this story has things I like.
8183409
Yeah, you're referring to the locked and sealed lab that the CMC broke into, right? The one they entered after seeing a video game where both sleeping and lethal compounds were used (Luna refers to this) and decided to experiment with the explicitly stated purpose of developing weapons? Using chemicals they couldn't pronounce the names of, without a recipe or plan or precautions or supervision? And this is somehow Twilight's fault?
Legal precedent for things like this usually follows that if someone is committing a crime and injures themselves (or others) on someone else's property during the commission of a crime (and yes, developing or manufacturing weapons without a license is its own crime), then that person is legally responsible for the injuries caused, and not the property owner. In this case, especially with their long history of damage and destruction, it is absolutely their fault.
8183483
Hey Spike was there. He could have put a stop to it. And even with that, Apple Bloom was Twilight's apprentice for who knows how many Twilight Times. It's clear that Twilight not only didn't mark them in a way using normal naming schemes that she taught AB (which makes little sense). With a highly dangerous, and unstable compound without proper containment (Which is rule number 1 for dealing with dangerous compounds).
But their initial research was gained from books in the library, in a game that the adults let them play knowing that the CMC are the CMC. And I'm not saying it's 100% Twilight's fault. But at the same time what I never agreed on, and felt wrong, was that all of the blame fell on the CMC.
Yes. What they did was wrong. But that entire lab was a horrible accident waiting to happen. We see how little safety Twilight has with Spike when it comes to cleaning, and that lab was not only unsafe, but nothing was labeled properly. Do the CMC need to be punished? Yeah, but heaping all the blame on to them? No.
Where were there legal gaurdians when they were reading book from the library on making chemical weapons? Nowhere (just like when they learned how to make a Love Poison). Where were the adults when they bought, were playing, and were being influenced by a Zombie Game? Where were the adults when they were going out to Twilight's Castle? Where were the adults while in the castle they were headed to somewhere they weren't supposed to be? Where were the adults when the CMC were taking the time to pick an advanced lock? Where were the adults when it came to making sure the lab was up to safety standards? Where were the adults when it came to making sure a compound with a highly dangerous and lethal history was in a place where it wouldn't make repeats of said history?
If their sisters looked out for them, and paid attention this wouldn't have happened.
If their legal gaurdians would have kept them from seeing something they knew the CMC would be influenced by in a negative way. This wouldn't have happened.
If the ponies in the library would have learned from the Love Poison incident. And kept restricted books away from impressionable youth, this wouldn't have happened.
If the guards in the castle would have stopped them, or paid more attention to dangerous sections of the castle. This wouldn't have happened.
If Spike told the CMC to use a different lab. This wouldn't have happened.
If Twilight would have properly labeled things (seeing as how AB was using a recipe, and had a list of ingredients using the common naming scheme that all other alchemist use.), and properly contained a highly dangerous compound in regulation containment. This wouldn't have happened.
The answer is that they were nowhere in that entire scenario.
Yes. The CMC fucked up bad. But they are minors, and from point A to B. In a whole ton of public and restricted places. Not once did any of their legal guardians, adults, nor Twilight do anything about it. Especially when the entire set up was something any adult who knows the CMC could see a mile away.
So that's the real problem. Yes the CMC need to be punished. But nowhere in this fic. Does it point out that the adults are equally responsible. It's all the CMC's fault. And none of the blame lands on those who could have prevented this in an number of steps from point A to B. Hell if Twilight had a safer lab. That followed protocols, AB's ingredients would have made Sleep Gas as she was planning to make. If they still made the fire, the explosive compound would have been contained and nothing really bad would have happened.
But no. The adults didn't care. Twilight didn't care. No one cared. And Spike suffered as a result. But it's only 64% the CMC's fault (80 if I'm being generous). But there's a lot of blame for the adults who helped the CMC get from point A to B by their negligence.
8183006 Word! What he said.
Eh, that's fair.
Mind if I continue this story? I do have some ideas for it.
8183549
There is no mention that Spike was present during the majority of their time inside the lab, only that he got them out of the worst of it when things went wrong - quite plausibly he heard it through the door a ways away and came running. You're assuming he was present when it is not stated he was.
Apple Bloom is not and never has been Twilight's apprentice. AB learned some very basic things about potion-making from her, and nowhere is it stated that Twilight is teaching AB with her own laboratory materials; many educational chemistry sets will come with chemicals and compounds labeled in a different manner than you would encounter inside a hospital or research facility, for example.
Nowhere is it stated that the orichalcum and mythril were not properly stored or sealed; as the CMC previously stated, they defeated multiple security devices intended to limit their access to the lab and its contents. The stated hazard of the magic metals was "coming into contact with organic life before being forged", which condition is met by keeping it in a sealed plastic bag, glass jar, or any number of mundane but effective containers that would require someone actively circumventing them to cause a hazardous condition. You know, like breaking and entering a lab and throwing chemicals on them, or simply opening every bottle and container because the CMC didn't understand the labels anyway.
The library is not responsible for the actions of its patrons, especially when they didn't use the knowledge and experience they had. That's like blaming a driving instructor when their student of one lesson takes the family car on their own and drives through the neighbors' yards causing damage when the day before they couldn't properly use the windshield wipers.
The adults did not knowingly let the CMC play the game that inspired the events that happened. They were at Button Mash's house, who was a special situation, given that his Cutie Mark was for videogames and his mother had chosen not to limit him. On their own, the CMC would not have been able to get that game, and they knew that it was rated Adults Only and they weren't supposed to be exposed to it, which means the adults were doing what they were supposed to in that situation. Also, media does not cause violence, please don't try to use that as a deflection for the CMC's responsibility.
Any number of situations fall under that dubious description if the people involved actively circumvent measures to protect them and keep them out. You can be maimed or killed at Disney World if you ignore the warnings, guard rails, shouted warnings from employees, and obvious common sense, and leap in front of a roller coaster. Does this make Disney World a horrible accident waiting to happen? Millions of people a year would disagree with you.
Nowhere is it stated that Twilight is being unsafe in regards to Spike and cleaning. Nowhere is it stated the lab is unsafe. Nowhere is it stated that things are not labeled properly, the CMC stated that they couldn't read the names of the chemicals in the bottles and opened them anyway. Sealed, access-restricted laboratories don't generally worry about making Fisher Price-esque labels for things because it is unreasonable.
Nowhere is it stated that they were reading a book on that in the library, nor that such a book was even in the library. Nowhere was it stated that the CMC bought or were playing the game that inspired them; it was in fact explicitly stated that only Button Mash had the game due to his Cutie Mark and that the CMC were watching him. Nowhere is it stated that going to Twilight's Castle is an inherently dangerous thing to do, so there would be no need for adults to do that. The lab was sealed and locked, so the adults were probably doing whatever they needed to be doing with the peace of mind that the lab was inaccessible to those who shouldn't be there. I like how you acknowledge the CMC are defeating security measures to keep them out but then blame the adults for not being there watching it 24/7. Nowhere is it stated that the lab is not up to safety standards, what the safety standards for a quasi-medieval/quasi-1980s era laboratory even are, or that a regulatory agency exists to recommend and enforce a particular set of safety standards (without which the "standards" part doesn't apply). Again, the adults were doing whatever they needed to be doing with the peace of mind that the laboratory was sealed and locked.
Their sisters, and Rainbow Dash, have their own demanding careers to attend to. They cannot afford to watch the CMC 24/7, as has been explicitly stated numerous times in numerous situations in the show.
Aside from the loophole of the CMC watching Button Mash play the game because of his Cutie Mark, their legal guardians DID keep them from being exposed to it.
Nowhere is it stated that the CMC accessed a restricted book during the event in this story.
Nowhere is it stated the castle has guards.
Nowhere is it stated that the CMC interacted with Spike prior to entering the lab and experimenting. Additionally, they knew they shouldn't have been in there by virtue of needing to defeat the security measures. Extra additionally, the CMC have often ignored the advice, instructions, and outright orders of their legal guardians, but for some reason they would listen to Spike (who was not stated to be present) on this occasion?
Nowhere is it stated that Twilight did not properly label things. Nowhere is it stated that AB was using a recipe or a list of ingredients, they explicitly stated, ""...We ended up guessing,” Scootaloo said, grimacing. “We went with chemicals that sounded like they were related to sleeping, and...”. Nowhere is it stated that the magic metals were not kept in containment, nor that any agency exists to create and enforce regulations in regards to their storage.
The adults were exactly where they had needed to be for the vast majority of that scenario. They had prevented access to the game that inspired the CMC, they had locked and sealed the laboratory, and they were carrying out their responsibilities for their jobs.
Except as stated above where the adults took reasonable precautions. And if the CMCs are known to be that dangerous in spite of the efforts of adults to limit their damage, you're actually making the argument that they need to be kept under forced observation with no freedoms and no capacity to cause damage. Anything short of that is just letting them get into a situation "any adult who knows the CMC could see a mile away", right?
The adults in this fic are not equally responsible, and it is indeed all the CMC's fault. The adults took reasonable precautions to prevent a situation like the one that took place, and you are drawing massively incorrect conclusions from the numerous false and unproven claims you made. Twilight is not shown to have an unsafe lab, protocols are not shown to be violated or even to exist at all, AB did not have an ingredient list and certainly didn't have a recipe.
Again, due to your numerous false and unproven claims, your conclusion here is massively incorrect. The adults cared and took reasonable precautions, which the CMC circumvented and defeated knowingly. It is 100% the CMCs' fault, especially since they have a history of causing unsafe situations and should have learned better by now. On Earth, they would have been in jail years ago for the risks they cause.
8185411
Yes AB was. Or did you forget Twilight Time when Twilight personally taught her Alchemy (as well as Zecora)? And all the lessons she personally taught the CMC for the duration of Twilight Time? That technically makes her Twilight's Student / Twilight her mentor. Not in the same way as Tia was hers, but it was there. That is canon.
So AB was taught by Twilight in her method of doing Alchemy (as well as Zecora who is also a skilled Alchemist). So being trained in both of them, and in Twilight's methodologies. It's Twilight's fault for not having the Lab set up in the way that she had when teaching AB.
_______________
Spike was there. It's how he ended up in that mess. As for cleaning. It's pure logic.
The chemicals spilled on the metals causing the explosion in the first place. That lab was a ticking time bomb, and I bring up cleaning because Spike even now, does most of it. And it is not uncommon for him to have an accident and break / drop something. Dropping something in there would have led to an explosion (what caused that explosion in the first place).
And let's not for get this tidbit:
From both quotes. We see that Twilight's lab didn't follow protocols. Both in keeping the metals in proper containment. Nor in naming of the chemicals. It's far more different than the times she changes how books are sorted for the fiftieth time in a week. That shit is dangerous.
_______________________
There's a huge bucking difference between circumnavigating things and getting into trouble. And adults being negligent. And Ponies in Ponyville are negligent parents / adults (lest we forget what happened in Boast Buster's and the parents of Snips and Snails going into Pony Murder Forest, to get a cranky Celestial Bear. And bring it to the town. With no adult supervision or them knowing where their colts were at).
The Books from the Library; The game (which was on Button's Mom. Thus a bucking adult); The castle's lax security; All the steps needed for this fic to happen. Fall squarely on adult negligence. Even that lab's explosion was Twilight's fault. If not the CMC then it was a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.
And before you even try to argue that last point. I STRESS AGAIN! NO SAFETY PRECAUTIONS; NO PROPER LABELING; NO CONTAINMENT OF DANGEROUS AND HIGHLY DANGEROUS METALS; All the shit that is Lab Safety 101. She didn't do.
__________________________
So yes. The CMC are partially to blame. But since you are ignorantly trying to bring law into this. A) They are minors; and B) Adults can be charged for their child's crimes.
The CMC went into a library. Got a book on making a chemical weapon (just like the Love Poison they made). And it isn't the first time that the adults around them let them wonder off into places that are dangerous, or do things that could cost another pony life or limb, or give them access to dangerous stuff.
And just let them be. I mean there is no adult oversight. No active parenting care. Even AJ's helicopter parenting is hit and miss when it comes to actually watching out for AB (as in it only pops up in 1 episode). So with that level of negligence on so many adult's parts. They can be charged just as the CMC are. So again. It's not 100% there fault.
And that was always my problem with this fic. And people like you. You are so quick to pile all the fault onto the CMC. While ignoring logic and proof. That it wasn't just all them. The fault lies on Twilight, and the adults who are supposed to be watching over the young. Just as much as the CMC (who aren't known for either subtly or stealth in canon.). Their is tons of fault to go around.
8185541
No, Apple Bloom was not Twilight's apprentice. Apparently you don't understand what that word means, and since you've become insulting and condescending later in your reply, I'm going to stop dressing down your post with the kid gloves.
The definiton of an apprentice. Apple Bloom is not employed by Twilight, is not an indentured servant of Twilight, and Twilight is not a potion-maker by trade. Apple Bloom is learning some things from Twilight, but she is not her apprentice in any way shape or form, which is the exact word you used. That is most certainly not canon, and unfortunately, indicative of why you're having so much trouble with this.
Did Twilight teach AB her method of doing alchemy? This was never shown or stated anywhere. What was shown was very basic chemistry work. Even when Twilight gave her a specific formula to use in that episode, AB was still only working with a plant-growth potion involving an apple seedling and an apple, which she would have a special affinity with due to her heritage and upbringing, and she still did very poorly. At the very end of the episode she makes a flower grow with Twilight's direct close supervision. You are vastly overestimating what Apple Bloom has learned from Twilight and Zecora, including the amount of time she had with each, and also how much "methodology" she picked up. That's canon from the show.
Also, saying "It's Twilight's fault for not having the Lab set up in the way that she had when teaching AB" is simply ridiculous. For one, they're not in the treebrary any more, because Tirek destroyed it. For two, AB was never in Twilight's lab, Twilight had only the materials needed for the lesson brought out into the common area of the library. For three, it doesn't matter if Twilight's lab is set up differently from the common room of a public library because AB wasn't supposed to be in there without an adult.
No, that's your assumption. The story did not tell us he was present for the entire time the CMC were in the castle and the lab, therefore we don't know that he was. You stating that he was is unsupported and flies directly in the face of logic, which you are misusing here.
Again, you are making unsupported claims. Your kitchen is just as dangerous as Twilight's lab in this scenario, because there are chemicals there that shouldn't be mixed together. You are being overly imaginative in your now misguided attempt to blame Twilight for this. The only thing from the story about what events happened inside the lab was a doctor making a guess based on the wounds Spike received and the metals removed from him; this doesn't tell us a single thing about how the chemicals ended up making contact with the metals or how the metals were stored.
Again, we see nothing of the sort. It is not shown in the story that safety protocols were not followed, you are making more assumptions. As I stated in reply to your previous post but you ignored, apparently, we don't even know if Equestria has an agency that recommends and enforces safety regulations or protocols for handling things; you are completely unsupported in claiming protocols were not followed. That is not logic, that is pure assumption. We also don't see the method that the chemicals in the lab were named by, thus it is not possible to say if they did or did not follow protocols that we don't even know exist. These are more unsupported assumptions on your part.
No one said "circumnavigating"; did you mean when I pointed out that the CMC circumvented the security measures in place? Those are different things, and you seem to be having trouble with precise word use. Yes, getting into trouble is one thing; staying out past when your parents tell you to be home, not telling your parents where you are, watching someone play a video game that you know you aren't supposed to see. Circumventing security equipment to access a restricted facility is breaking and entering, an actual crime, and is a level beyond getting into trouble, which I'm glad you at least tried to recognize. However, there was no evidence in this story of adults being negligent. They took reasonable precautions to prevent individuals from ending up in places they shouldn't be, and to prevent individuals from being exposed to things they weren't ready for. Trying to argue that all adults are negligent based on the example of Snips and Snails is unsupported and a logical fallacy.
What books from the library? Did you even read this story? They did not check any books out from the library, or read about it while inside the library. This is another false claim. The game was clearly not at fault in and of itself because Button Mash was not trying to do the same thing the CMC were; also, since his mother trusted him with games of all ratings due to his Cutie Mark, it was actually his responsibility to control who had access to his games. The castle did not have lax security; Twilight does not have any guards, but potentially hazardous materials were secured behind physical and magical devices. They were not left out in the open, the CMC had to commit a crime to access them without supervision. And again, you have no evidence to support the claim that the lab would have gone off without the CMC there. Another unsupported claim.
And again, we are not shown in the story any of these things you are claiming. There were safety precautions, the lab was locked and sealed. The chemicals were labeled; just because the CMC can't read them (and Apple Bloom says "syllabuses" instead of "syllables" while describing this situation, which is a huge indicator that they wouldn't have understood what the labels meant regardless) doesn't mean they were not "properly" labeled, which is your assertion. The magical metals were inside a sealed and locked facility and it is unknown how they were stored inside that facility; that is indeed containment, and to say anything else without the story telling us is just more unsupported assumptions on your part.
It seems like a lot of your trouble with this is your inability to differentiate your headcanon from what the story and show actually show and tell us.
Thanks for the insult there, but it's ironic of you to say that while making such an ignorant statement. Luna explicitly states that Twilight makes the law in her kingdom; what Twilight says, goes. Their status as minors has no bearing whatsoever on if they are charged for their crimes in this instance, which is explained in the dialogue between Fluttershy and Luna. These quotes are relevant:
And
You may wish to re-read the story.
The CMC did not go into the library in this story. The CMC did not get any book at all, much less the one you claimed, in this story. You are making completely false claims, these events quite simply did not happen. The adults did not let them wander into a dangerous place, let them do something physically dangerous, or give them access to anything dangerous. The CMC broke into the lab, defeating and circumventing the locks and seal in place to keep people out. Nothing you are saying is based off "logic" as you tried to state, much less what actually happened in the story.
Again, you're making ignorant statements, since you threw that out there. The adults have their own careers and jobs to see to, they cannot watch the CMC 24/7. This is explicit canon, in multiple episodes. Expecting the adults to either chain the CMC up where they can't get into trouble or spend all day, every day, staring at them in anticipation of a disaster, is unreasonable and illogical. There is no negligence present in this story; the adults took reasonable precautions which the CMC made effort to circumvent. The definition of negligence, which is another word you are misusing. I've been quite careful to label things as "reasonable" precautions in this argument, as it has actual meaning. The adults didn't leave things laying around in the open, in plain view; the lab was locked up and sealed. Just because a situation happened doesn't mean it happened due to negligence. You are continuing to make unsupported and objectively false claims.
The only one ignoring logic and proof here is you, while you also started being insulting and condescending. You are outright stating as fact things happened that were not shown to happen or shown to not happen. You have made numerous completely false or unsupported claims and used these to arrive at conclusions which are not backed up by anything that happened. Your headcanon is not what actually happened in the story, and if you intend to continue arguing this topic from your place of ignorance to the story, I would highly suggest going back and actually reading it. But if you choose not to, then you really have nothing to argue with. The CMC remain squarely at fault for their own actions and the consequences thereof.
8185626
8185541
Okay, enough. Civility levels are dropping to dangerously low points here. Take it to PMs, please.
8185626
Sent the original in PMs.
TLDR. The CMC aren't fully to blame. And again that's why I greatly dislike people like you when it comes to this fic. You ignore all the blame that deserves to be spread around. All the other beings at fault. And put it squarely on the CMC. Which is where this fic messed up at.
The CMC are children. With no adult supervision. And all the blame that lies elsewhere gets dumped on them. When while they do have the lion's share. They aren't solely to blame. And that's what pisses me off the most. That willful ignorance, and also what really makes hatefics so horrible 95% of the time (aka. An overblown event happens, and all the hate and blame is dumped on 1 person / group. Where if you take a step back. The problem lies with lots more than just that thing.).
8185815
Sorry. Replied just as you were posting that. I'll move my reply to the PMs.
8185815 Not a problem, I was done anyway. His PM is even more hateful and insulting, nothing to be gained from that.
On the other hand, it's clear there's still interest in the story, eh?
8183933
I hope you can continue this story for KnightMysterio, I love it and would love to see what would happen next with the CMC.
8186548 i have ideas for it but I will wait for the author to reply first.
This is a shame to hear, but I completely understand and I wish you luck in the future.