Crusade's End
Part 1 of 5
“Tragic Mistakes”
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction. All characters are copyrighted to their original owners and used without permission for non-profit amusement reasons. Takes place a year after the end of season 4.
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Rainbow Friendship Castle...
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“HURRY!” Twilight Sparkle screamed. “Get those rainclouds in!”
In her castle, an inferno blazed. Desperately, pegasi flew to their princess's aid, guiding rainclouds in and forcing the water to gush into the windows, as a sickening chemical smell emerged from the blaze. Below, unicorns did their best to shield Earth ponies as they worked to evacuate books and equipment from the palace.
“Have you found him yet?!” Twilight shouted.
“Afraid not,” shouted Time Turner, the timekeeper looking slightly singed. “But we'll keep looking, don't worry!”
“Oh Spike...” Twilight said, turning her attention back to helping the pegasi control the blaze. “Please... Please, be okay...”
Wind and rain battered the fire, slowly getting the chemical blaze under control. Zecora tended to the injured, helping the doctors and nurses by rapidly whipping up burn remedies, while Trixie coordinated efforts with the unicorns and Earth ponies searching the castle for Spike, who had been lost in the initial explosion. Several ponies, unable to help, stood by watching worriedly, aiding the doctors and nurses where they could.
And meanwhile, three terrified fillies in badly charred capes, the ones unintentionally responsible for this inferno, cowered against their sisters/sister figure, praying that they hadn't just killed Spike.
Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash all traded worried looks. “Mmmmaybe we better get the kids home...” Rainbow Dash said. Cloud Kicker can handle the rescue team until I get back... I hope...
Applejack nodded, gulping. “Ah think that'd be fer the best,” she said.
“Indeed,” Rarity said. “Come along girls, let's...”
Twilight, literally smoldering with rage, appeared in front of them. Her horn was blazing, her eyes were glowing, and her wings were fully flared, trails of smoke coming from the tips.
“MAKE THEM STAY,” she thundered in the Royal Canterlot Tone, her voice pure fury. “MAKE THEM WATCH.”
The older mares just nodded, too afraid to protest, the three Cutie Mark Crusaders cowering behind their big sisters. Twilight growled, and teleported away, the group of sisters reluctantly turning back to watch as the townponies struggled desperately to control the chemical fires burning where Twilight Sparkle's lab used to be.
As all of this occurred, Discord casually wandered in, humming a jaunty tune. “Good evening, everypony!” he crowed. “I have returned, and all of your meager lives are now interesting agai...” He trailed off, noticing the fire for the first time. “Huh. Having a barbecue without me?”
Fluttershy flew up to him and hugged him tightly. “Oh Discord!” she wailed. “It was awful! Twilight's lab exploded, all the chemicals and magical equipment caught fire, and Spike was caught inside! We've been trying to put it out, but nothing seems to be working!”
“Huh... Spike hurt?” Discord said, stroking his beard. “That won't do, I kinda like him.” He strolled over to the fire, casually shooing ponies out of the way as he thoughtfully examined the blaze.
Twilight glared at him. “Discord, what are you...” she started to say, Discord shushing her by literally zipping her mouth shut. She fumed angrily.
After a moment, Discord nodded, pulling out an empty soup can. He reached out and grabbed the fire, yanking it away as if it were a blanket and stuffing the flickering chemical blaze in its entirety into the soup can. He shook it for a few moment, and grinned, holding it out to Twilight, the zipper on her mouth disappearing.
“Spicy peanuts?” Discord offered. Inside the can, instead of the fire, was a large amount of red-coated peanuts. “No? Anyone else?” Getting no takers, Discord shrugged and began eating the peanuts himself.
Twilight stared at Discord a moment, and then at her castle, which didn't even have smoke coming out of it now. She then shook her head, zipping inside the burned out castle. There was a tense moment of silence, and then...
“NO! SPIKE!!” Twilight shrieked.
Several nurses and a doctor went inside, carrying a stretcher and some oxygen tanks. When they came out, they were carrying Spike on it, the little dragon barely breathing. His scales were shredded, blood seeping from several wounds. Burns covered the bare patches of skin where his scales had fallen away, and one of his eyes was a bloody mess. Twilight ran with them, tears flowing down her face.
Rarity gasped softly as Spike was brought by them. “Oh Spikey...” she said softly.
One of the doctors paused to assure Twilight that Spike would be okay. Reluctantly, she let them go off on her own. She then slowly trotted back to her castle, staring numbly at the charred section. Discord and Trixie came up to her, worried expressions on their faces.
“Hope that the kid's okay,” Discord said, still eating the spicy peanuts. “What happened, anyway?”
Twilight Sparkle just growled savagely, glaring back at the Crusaders, who flinched and shivered against their sisters, who stared fearfully at their alicorn friend. Discord grimaced. “Oh dear... A Crusade finally came back to bite them in the flank, didn't it?”
Twilight Sparkle shivered with barely suppressed rage. “If it had been a pony instead of a dragon...” she said softly.
“Though I do not know this Spike all that well,” Trixie said, “I remember his resilience from the regrettable Alicorn Amulet fiasco. I firmly believe that he will bounce back from this.”
Twilight Sparkle smiled. “Thank you...” she said. “And thank you, Discord, for putting out the fire.” Discord just nodded, smirking. Twilight turned back to Trixie, confused. “But... Trixie, what are you doing here anyway?”
Trixie coughed nervously. “Well... um... after the aforementioned Alicorn Amulet fiasco, Trixie chose to turn herself in to the authorities and was given a prison sentence. A light one, since Trixie turned herself in willingly and no one suffered permanent damage. Eventually, Trixie's case caught the attention of Princess Luna, who talked it over with Princess Celestia, who suggested that Trixie redeem herself by going on parole and serving as your aide. Naturally, the Humble and Cooperative Trixie agreed to this.”
“Trixie should probably stop talking in the third person, because that's gonna get old REAL FAST,” Discord muttered.
“And you aren't surprised about these?” Twilight said, ignoring Discord and flaring her wings.
Trixie giggled. “Trixie always suspected you were secretly an alicorn anyway,” she said, sighing and looking up at the castle. “Although I seemed to have started my parole on an inopportune day...”
Twilight Sparkle shook her head. “Nono,” she said. “This is actually a perfect time to start!”
Trixie blinked. “Really?”
Twilight Sparkle nodded. “Indeed! Because I'm sure that you and Discord are probably the only ones strong enough to stop me from doing something that will both make my friends hate me forever and also leave me stupidly guilt ridden! Now if you'll excuse me,” she said, abruptly turning towards the Cutie Mark Crusaders and walking towards them.
Trixie and Discord just stared for a moment, startled, when they noticed the growl coming from Twilight's throat, one that was rising in intensity as she got closer to the terrified Crusaders.
“Here we go...” Applejack muttered, she, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash taking defensive positions in front of their little sisters. Rarity's horn flared as she quickly summoned several gems from her shop and fused them into a makeshift shield.
“RrrrraaaaAAAAGGGHHH!!!” Twilight screamed, lunging at the Crusaders, her entire body awash with power, tears streaming down her face.
Barely managing to react in time, Discord gestured, summoning several Plunder Vines to hold Twilight in place while Trixie wrapped her magical aura around Twilight, attempting to pull her away from the terrified foals.
“Dash, get the girls out of here!” Rarity ordered. Rainbow Dash nodded and started to gather up the girls. Before they could leave, though, Twilight's horn flared, a massive claw of stone forming behind them and keeping them in place. Discord made a few more Plunder Vines appear, some of them wrapping around Twilight's horn to keep the enraged alicorn from casting. He quickly manifested a scroll and quill, writing a letter and sending it away.
Sunbutt
Twilight's lost it. You and Moonbutt get to Ponyville NOW and calm her down before she murders three children.
Discord
A few moments later, in a flash of light and a swirl of darkness, Celestia and Luna appeared, both of them embracing Twilight.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Luna shouted, visibly worried. “You must calm down immediately!”
“Please...” Celestia said softly, nuzzling her. “I have seen what happens to alicorns who give into their fury... I lived through it once with my beloved sister... Don't make me see it happen to one whom I love as a daughter...”
Twilight struggled in their grasp, screaming in fury. But their words seemed to register, and soon Twilight relaxed in their grasp, sobbing miserably. Trixie's aura faded, and Discord made his vines disappear, both of them coming over to join the gathered alicorns.
Celestia smiled, nuzzling her. “Now... tell me what happened,” she said.
“It was them...” Twilight snarled, unable to look at the three fillies.
Celestia and Luna turned to the gathered Crusaders, their sisters gently nuzzling them forward. “Just tell them,” Rainbow Dash said softly. “It'll just make it worse if you wait...”
Rarity and Applejack nodded in agreement. The Crusaders gulped, slowly stepping forward, shaking fearfully under the gaze of the three princesses, one of whom still looked furious.
Scootaloo was the first to find the nerve to speak. “...Cutie Mark Crusaders Chemical Warfare Experts?” she said, grinning weakly, flinching when Twilight snarled.
Luna's jaw dropped, the Moon Princess staring incredulously at the fillies.
Celestia shook her head in disbelief. “Why would you even try such a thing?” she asked.
“It... sounded like fun?” Sweetie Belle said nervously.
“Plus, ah'd already had some experience with potions while workin' with Princess Twilight...” Apple Bloom added.
“They were in my lab WITHOUT permission, using chemicals they had NO experience with,” Twilight growled, “all because of yet another self-sabotaging CRUSADE to get Cutie Marks!!”
Luna blinked, confused. “But... That's not how Cutie Marks work,” she said. “They are expressions of an innate talent, one you already have.”
Scootaloo frowned. “But how are we supposed to KNOW what our talent is unless we try EVERYTHING?” she said, flinching when Twilight growled.
“That's...” Celestia shook her head again. After thousands of years, finally a new one... “I heard the tales of you three, but never really believed... No, child. No, that is not how Cutie Marks work. Surely to goodness you're good at something!”
Scootaloo frowned. “Well yeah, but it's just so lame. Nowhere near as awesome as Rainbow Dash, and...” She trailed off as Rainbow Dash groaned, facehooving.
“Wow, your mom was right. I really AM a bad influence at times...” she said, startling Scootaloo.
“They hurt Spike,” Twilight growled.
Celestia turned to her, startled. “W-What?”
“Their screw-up caused a chemical reaction. Spike got them out of the lab in time, but not before getting caught in the resultant explosion. His scales were shredded, and his eye... Faust above his eye...”
Celestia turned back to the Crusaders, her eyes wide as she stared at them, seeing them in a new light. Everypony looking at the Solar Sovereign suddenly realized that Celestia was shaking.
She was angry.
“That's right...” Fluttershy said softly, remembering what Twilight had told them about Spike. “She raised Spike for the first part of his life... She's as much a son to Princess Celestia as he is to... oh no...”
Pinkie Pie, her hair completely flat and feeling helpless in all this, just whimpered, hiding behind Fluttershy.
“You...” Celestia said, her voice echoing.
“Tia, please...” Luna said, putting a hoof on her sister's shoulder while still cradling Twilight, giving her sister a worried look. Celestia's head jerked towards her, before the Solar Sovereign closed her eyes and took a deep breath, literally swallowing her anger as she forced herself to calm down.
“Perhaps... Twilight, perhaps you should take a break from all this,” Celestia suggested.
“Indeed,” Luna said, getting the idea. “I'm sure Cadence and your brother would love to see you...”
“Yeah...” Twilight said, glaring at the Crusaders. “I just... I can't... be here right now...” She took a deep breath, calming down.
Mayor Mare stepped forward. “I am sure I can manage things while you are away,” she said.
Trixie stepped forward. “And Trixie is here to help as well,” she said.
Twilight nodded, gently pulling herself free of Luna and Celestia, smiling reassuringly at them. She turned to Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash.
“Girls,” she said, “You think that you can give Mayor Mare a hand in keeping this place from falling apart?”
“You can rely on us,” Rarity said, smiling, Applejack and Rainbow Dash nodding in agreement. “And I promise that I will send you letters on Spikey-wikey's condition every day while you are away,” Rarity added.
Twilight nodded. “Good... as for you three,” she said, glaring at the Crusaders. Her horn glowed, yanking the charred capes away from the Crusaders. “It's over. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are officially no more.”
“W-WHAT?!” the three fillies cried out.
Twilight, snarling, tore up their capes, the three fillies watching in horror. “It's over,” Twilight said. “No more idiotic Crusades. No more property damage, no more sleepless nights for your sisters worrying whether or not your Crusades will get you killed, no more townspeople cowering at the mere MENTION of the word Crusade.”
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo stared in shock. Had they really caused that much trouble in their quest to get Cutie Marks? “Princess... You can't...” Scootaloo tried.
“She can,” Luna said, frowning. “This is her kingdom, this is her rule.” Celestia nodded in agreement.
“Either focus on the talents you KNOW you have or go blank flank forever, I don't fucking CARE anymore,” Twilight growled, looking more tired than she had ever been in her life, the Cutie Mark Crusaders cowering behind their frightened siblings, who had never seen Twilight this furious before. “I had to watch my little brother get carted off to the hospital because of you three. THIS IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN. UNDERSTAND? If you attempt to do a Crusade, you'll be arrested, and that's an ORDER. No more Crusades. EVER!!”
“HA!” Diamond Tiara laughed.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU USELESS LITTLE CUNT!!” Twilight roared in the Royal Canterlot Tone, Diamond Tiara squeaking and hiding behind her father, the towsponies staring at her in shock. “You're just as bad! You and your little brat friend! Half my conversations with Cheerilee these days are listening to her complain about all the times your parents have BLOCKED her from disciplining you two!”
Filthy Rich, who had been helping with the fire control efforts, gulped. “Is... is it so wrong to protect my daughter from trouble? To give her a happy life?”
“When it involves protecting your bully of a daughter from facing the consequences of her actions? YES!!!” Twilight snarled. “I've had it with this town! Filthy, you, your daughter, and the Silvers are to report to my castle the moment I get back! And you're NOT to block Cheerilee from punishing your children if they do wrong EVER AGAIN! UNDERSTAND?!”
Filthy nodded. “Y-yes, your majesty...” he said, gulping and bowing deeply.
Celestia and Luna said nothing, nor did Twilight's friends. They all knew that this frustration had been building up a long time, and knew better than to get in its way. Twilight snorted, and continued. “Rose, Lily, and Daisy, you report on the same day. I want to talk to you cowards about the number of times you've started riots with your panic attacks.”
“B-But...” Daisy stammered. “T-the HORRORS!!”
“Bitch, you haven't the foggiest idea of what horror is. Push me any more and I'll show you what horror is,” Twilight said, turning to Zecora.
The zebra flinched. “I'm not mad at you,” Twilight said, Zecora relaxing only slightly. “Do you have any potions or balms that can help with burns and cuts like the ones Spike received?”
Zecora nodded, unable to bring herself to rhyme. “I-I believe so,” she stammered.
“Make them and take them to the hospital,” Twilight said. “I'll make sure you're compensated for your effort.”
Zecora nodded and ran off, as Twilight turned to the gathering of Ponyville citizens. “As for the rest of you,” she said, growling, “I'm SICK of all the nonsense in this town! When I can stand to look at you people again, I'm going to clean up this place and make it make fucking SENSE.” Everypony save Discord and the Princesses flinched at this. Twilight sighed, motioning to Trixie. “You come with me. I think I want you as my assistant on my vacation...”
Trixie nodded. “Y-yes, of course.”
Fluttershy flew up to Twilight. “I'll take care of Owloyicious for you, Twilight,” she said, smiling warmly.
Twilight hugged her, and then smiled up at the slightly singed owl sitting on Fluttershy's back. “Thank you,” she said, she and Trixie heading into the castle to pack.
Sweetie Belle, before Rarity could stop her, ran up to Twilight. “Are... are you gonna always be mad at us forever and ever?” she asked, tears in her eyes.
“...No,” Twilight said, unable to bring herself to look at the filly. “I won't be mad at you forever. But I don't know if I'll ever trust you, Apple Bloom, or Scootaloo ever again...”
Rarity came up to Sweetie Belle and gently led her away, the crowd slowly beginning to disperse.
Discord pouted. “Phooey...” he said. “If she cleans this place up, then all the delightful chaos in this town will go away.”
“Actually, I do have some suggestions on that front,” Luna said. “If you'll follow me?” Luna led the draconequus away from the gathering, Discord visibly brightening as the two conversed quietly.
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack talked quietly amongst themselves, casting sympathetic glances towards both the castle and to the three despondent former Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were staring at the remains of their capes.
“Ah guess... this is it, then...” Apple Bloom said softly.
“Yeah...” Scootaloo said. She wanted to deny it, but Twilight's fury had been too palpable to ignore. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders... are done for...”
TO BE CONTINUED
Uh oh it says "Sad"
FEELS! GET TO COVER!!
I shall read this tomorrow! This Gon' Be Good!
- I miss Scoots and Sweetie!
4902732 The bunker, she is full!
Run for the hills!
WOW...
Just...wow.
4902774 Sorry. the hills are mine.
Madgod approves
Dang. Twilight be ragin'. I laughed a lot, even though I felt a lot too...
Good start sir, have a favorite and an up vote.
4902865 *flies away*
I haven't read this, but I feel like that the CMC would still crusade no matter what anyone says, princess or not.
4902872 Cheese! For everyone!
4903088 - Considering the fact that Twilight told them they would be arrested if they ever went on another crusade again, I think Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo will listen to what she told them.
4903089 PRECISELY!
Cthulu steals all cheese now
*pulls out Wabbajack*
aaand im gone
Good.
love the story but THE CRUSADING MUST NEVER END TWILIGHT CAN JUST GO DO SOMETHING ELSE.... THEY ARE CRUSADERS TIWLIGHT...
awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/DealWithIt.gif
I was OK about to the point that Twilight started cursing for the sake of vulgarity.
F bomb? OK. Fine. Precision F Strikes are acceptable.
But the part with DT? No thanks. Vulgarity loses all weight when it is thrown around so flagrantly. And yes, I understand Twilight is upset. To show anger and rage, try using a more 'in period' curse. When I read something like that it just feels like I am listening to an angry kid rage on Tumblr.
EG:
"Go to hell" -> "Rot in Tartarus"
There are plenty of ways to show character anger without sucking the reader out of the story by abuse of vernacular insults.
-Lumino
Wow. Twilight finally understands that all the ponies in this town are crazy, and she isn't going to put up with it anymore.
This feel I'm getting is stronger than ever ,I will be waiting for other chapters
4903338 I felt it was appropriate for Twilight's level of anger, but oh well. Perhaps I was wrong.
You have, however, given me an idea on how to have Discord tease Twilight in upcoming chapters.
This... this is awesome
It's about time someone told the Crusaders how fucking stupid they are.
What.... no Malcolm Tucker-like
ranting about how somepony with an indeterminate name and an ambiguous disorder is an omnishambles? "You're like this coffee maker....from bean to cup, you (Insert setting-correct curse word here) up!!"
Best......
One of the best, reactions, ever. I wait for more.
4903338
4903411
I agree with LuminoZero that the overdone vulgarity hurts your fan-fiction rather than helps. I thought (still think) your story-premise is good; but as soon as Twilight said, "cunt" and "bitch, please", that was over-the-line point in your storytelling for readers' believability, immersion, and suspension of disbelief.
While these serious negative factors are not enough for me to Dislike your fan-fiction, it is also far cry for me to Like or Favorite on either.
I would advise for reconsidering revision &/or serious toning back on future-use of the vulgarity in your fan-fiction.
Hmnn... I'm interested.
However, I'm also of the opinion that Twilight would never use those specific vulgarities. Sure, she's mad, but the words she uses seem to be more fitting for a whiny brat than an enraged alicorn of magic. Although I could see her screaming in the Vengeful Goddess Voice, while arcs of power run loose around her,
I'm actually surprised she hasn't used pain spells yet.
Now, before I destroy those three for being so nonchalant after almost murdering a child
Pylons, away!
I absolutely love this, definitely faving. Its well written, everyone is very in character. I just have two things to note:
1. Trixie being here seems kind of forced, like you wanted to write this and a Trixie/Twilight story, and just decided to put them together. Its not a deal-breaker as long as you have a real plan for her, but she feels a little unnecessary.
2. The swearing. I'm not anti-swearing, in fact I fucking love it. The thing is, in MLP, it always immediately sets the story as very AU. MLP ponies don't use our swear words, they say things like horsefeathers and shit like that. It comes across here as kind of a cheap way to show anger, in a situation in which you're already doing an incredible job of really showcasing how angry Twilight is. Like, when Twilight was yelling at them, and Diamond Tiara, it really felt real. The swearing just sort of took me out of it and reminded me I was reading instead of experiencing.It weakens what is otherwise some very strong writing
That said, this is still really great and I look forward to more
Can anyone explain me how could the fire harm a dragon? I remember Spike swimming happily on lava back when the Dragon Migration.
4903686 I think what happened is that the explosion damaged his scales, which are what made him fire proof, and allowed the fire to get to the unprotected skin underneath.
I fail to see how that's a trigger
Why would fire do a number on Spike? He bathes in lava and likes it.
4903845 he lost his scales that made him fire proof.
Wow Twilight is pissed. Still, the Crusaders should consider themselves lucky Celestia didn't have a go at them.
4903614 Pylons? What is that supposed to mean?
4903857 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!
4903862 Oh that's your name, sorry, didn't notice.
well this is my reaction to the first chapter
If there are any sadder sounding songs, let me know.
[youtube=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z1_5PI-Slkc]
Finally someone stood up to that little bitch!
4903686 Chemical fire. The combination of chemicals they used and the initial explosion shredded his scales, which protected him from regular fires/heat/lava.
4903614 I don't know. Using fancy 'pony' swears is what seemed inappropriate to me this time. Twilight's FAMILY was hurt, by three fillies she thought she could trust. I'd say that merits the four-letter dictionary, don't you? Plus, as later chapters will show (each chapter will have focus on both Twilight and the Crusaders), this is years of frustration and anger building up that's finally being let out.
I'm not changing the swearing, but I will have Discord call her out on it next chapter.
This is how I imagine the roar:
..And people want to follow her still? She's lashing out at everyone to the point in anger, and that usually ends with a noble pulling out the guillotine, considering she's attacking three people who have panic attack's.
YOU!!! I like this, you may take my like and my fav, but i want moar! MOAR! And i bet 10 bits the Crusaders are still gonna screw up somehow...
This is not going to end well, I can tell you that right now,
Ah, nice. I love seeing Twilight lay down the law. A shame it doesn't happen more often.
I hope spike makes it out okay, if he doesn't I wish the town of ponyville good luck
4902732 media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3nrsjtfLm1r9oud5.gif
This is my reaction to finding and reading this fic:
This. THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!! I've been waiting for a fic where somepony has FINALLY had enough of the Crusaders Crusading when it is damned obvious to even a parasprite what their talents are and yet they keep trying any shit they can to get one. Also, calling out DT, SS and Filthy Rich and the SS's unshown parents is another great thing. Shit probably wouldn't have ever gotten this far if it wasn't for them constantly tormenting the CMC and Filthy Rich protecting them. And while I wasn't expecting the Flower Trio, it was a nice surprise. Those three are probably bigger neurotic messes than Twilight with their constant panicking and the trouble it causes.
I will GREATLY enjoy seeing more of this.
And a typo I found.
I think you mean He's, not She's.
4904037 panic attacks that cause harm to others, like zecora, need to be dealt with. If those responsible can't take control of their own lives, then someone else has to do it for them. The real world is messy and dirty, no getting around that.
also this is great by the way. if people acted like that in real life.... well, let's just say people DON'T act like that in real life and leave it there. Like i said, great story, keep it up
Also, dunno if you forgot or not, or aren't going to cover it, but there are Cutie Mark Crusaders in Manehatten, AKA Babs Seed and anypony she got to join.