Crusade's End
Part 2 of 5
“Guilt Management”
by Jonathan “KnightMysterio” Spires
A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction. All official characters and OCs that I myself didn't create are copyrighted to their original owners and used without permission for non-profit amusement reasons. Takes place a year after the end of season 4. The start of this chapter takes place almost five minutes after the end of chapter 1.
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Just outside Twilight's castle...
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Six sisters stared silently at the shredded remains of three Crusader cloaks, the older unsure of what to say to the younger. After a long moment, Apple Bloom said, “Did... did Twilight say we couldn't never play with each other again?”
Applejack sighed. “A'course not,” she said. “Y'all can still be friends, she'd never forbid you from doin' that. Y'just cain't go on any of your dang fool Crusades anymore...”
Sweetie Belle frowned. “She used a word... 'self-sabotaging...' what does that mean?” the filly asked, turning to the older mares.
Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash stared at each other a long moment. Finally, Rainbow Dash said, “You tell them, Rarity. You'll be nicer about it than I'd be.”
Rarity frowned, turning to Applejack. “You'd TELL it better than ah would,” Applejack said, smiling weakly.
Rarity sighed. “Well... By engaging in activities unrelated to your true talents, you were actually moving away from getting your Cutie Marks. You were preventing yourselves from finding out what your talents really were,” she said. “In essence, sabotaging yourselves.”
“But...” Scootaloo protested.
“Testing out random crap doesn't work,” Rainbow Dash said, sighing. “I realize now that I never should have told you that, so I have some of the blame here. Your Cutie Mark is related to what you're GOOD AT ALREADY, what you're good at naturally. Not things you've learned, and not new things you try that day.”
Apple Bloom frowned. “But then what are our talents?”
The three older sisters traded frowns. “We... have an idea...” Rainbow Dash said. At the brightened expressions of the three, Rainbow Dash shook her head and said, “But telling you would be just as bad as Crusading for something unrelated to your talents, like you've been doing. Don't ask me why it works that way, not even Twilight could explain it.”
“C'mon...” Applejack said. “Let's get the girls home and go check on Spike...”
“Can... can we come see Spike too?” Apple Bloom asked.
“This is our fault...” Sweetie Belle said softly, Scootaloo nodding in agreement. The three big sisters traded worried looks, discussing quietly amongst themselves for a long moment.
“...Ahright,” Applejack said, “you can come. But once Twilight gets there, just stay outta sight until she's gone. Her moods have been all over the place for months, and now...” She just shook her head.
“Hm,” Rarity said softly. “She has been rather... erratic, as of late...”
“Let's just go,” Rainbow Dash muttered.
The six of them trudged off in silence. They were later joined by Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, who reported that Celestia and Luna had already gone on ahead to check on Spike. And indeed, they found the two alicorns speaking with the doctors and nurses there, getting assurances that the young dragon was getting the best health care.
Luna was the first to notice the Elements and the Crusaders as they entered. She nudged her sister, Celestia staring at the Crusaders for a moment before closing her eyes and counting to ten, defusing the surge of anger she felt. Once she had calmed down, she nodded to them and said, “I presume you are here to check on young Spike?”
“Yeah...” Scootaloo said. “Is... is he gonna be okay?”
Celestia closed her eyes again. Luna frowned. “The doctors aren't certain. He is currently in a coma due to the trauma of the explosion,” she said, the Elements and Crusaders gasping. Luna sighed. “...Maybe it's best if I just show you.”
Celestia nodded, turning back to her discussion with the doctors, as Luna turned and lead the gathering down the hall to Spike's room.
What they saw there brought tears to their eyes, especially to those of the guilt-ridden Crusaders. Spike lay inert on slightly soot-stained sheets. His scales were torn away in several places, the skin beneath badly burned, Zecora and a nurse gently rubbing salve creams onto the burned areas. Bandages were wrapped around part of his face, covering his missing eye, the bandages stained with blood. A tracheotomy had been performed to allow a breathing tube to be put in, several IVs giving Spike fluids. A unicorn nurse was preparing a sponge bath and new bandages, while a pegasus nurse kept an eye on his vital signs.
“Oh Spikey...” Rarity said softly, the unicorn in tears as she stared at her young friend. The other Elements were in similar shape, wishing they could do something to help their friend and finding themselves at a loss.
Apple Bloom, staring at Spike, began to hyperventilate, tears flowing down her face as her breath came in frantic gasps. One thought was going through her mind over and over again. My fault. My fault. My fault my fault my fault my fault my fault my fault my fault my fault my fault MY FAULT...
Apple Bloom suddenly broke off from the group, running over to a nearby trashcan and vomiting into it. The five Element bearers tried to go to them, but Luna held them back, letting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo run over to her as Apple Bloom broke down in wretched sobs.
“My fault! Ah did this! Ah shoulda looked up what those chemicals were, it's my fault Spike's in here!” Apple Bloom groaned.
“Yeah, but it was my stupid idea to try it to begin with,” Scootaloo insisted, hugging her. “I'm the one who pressured you into doing it, 'cause I knew you'd been studying potions with Princess Twilight...”
“And I'm the one who picked the locks on Princess Twilight's lab, the two padlocks and the magical seal,” Sweetie Belle said softly, joining in the hug. “If it wasn't for me, we couldn't have even gotten into the lab.”
“We may not be allowed to Crusade anymore, but we're still the Crusaders,” Scootaloo said firmly. “That means that we stick together, friends forever, no matter what happens.”
“Even if it means we go down together,” Sweetie Belle added, smiling warmly.
Apple Bloom, still crying, hugged her friends tightly. Despite everything, the Element Bearers managed to smile at the touching display of loyalty. But still, a thought worried them.
“Um...” Fluttershy said, “speaking of going down... Will there be charges pressed against the Crusaders for what happened?”
Everypony turned to Luna expectantly. “It will depend on what happens with Spike, as well as Twilight's mental state upon her return from her trip to the Crystal Empire. Ever since Tirek destroyed her library, and the subsequent foray into the Village of Equals, her emotional state has been increasingly unstable. Even by her previous standards,” Luna said, sighing. “Celestia and Twilight both have guardianship of Spike. My sister is more controlled in her emotions, but I can tell that anger over what has happened still burns inside her.”
“Yeah...” Pinkie Pie said softly, her flattened mane and tail laying limply as she looked into Spike's room. “It's so weird seeing Princess Celestia so angry...”
“Show me a mother who doesn't rage even slightly at the sight of her child being hurt, and I will show you a mare unworthy of the title,” Fluttershy said softly.
Luna just nodded solemnly, the other mares in the room lowering their heads and thinking about their own mothers, thinking about how they might feel if it had been their child...
Their dark thoughts were interrupted as an orderly came and removed the trash bucket Apple Bloom had thrown up in. Behind the orderly came a doctor, the unicorn carting a small plastic bag with several purple and brown shards of metal in it, all of them dull, as if life had been sucked out of the metal.
Luna frowned, coming up to the doctor. “Are those...” she asked.
The doctor nodded. “Orichalcum and mythril. The only metals on this planet strong enough to pierce a dragon's skin,” he said.
Rarity gagged, Sweetie Belle looking alarmed. “Those are highly unstable magical metals!” Rarity said, in shock. “Every unicorn foal is told stories of these elements, of how dangerous they are until put to the forge!” The non-unicorns in the room stared at her in confusion.
“Indeed,” Luna said. “Which is why knowledge of smithing techniques for them both is kept only among unicorns, knowledge that they are real shared only amongst a trusted few, such as you lot. Only a basic magikinesis field can safely hold unrefined orichalcum and mythril. Even the slightest touch of organic life can cause a potentially dangerous reaction in them.”
“Most likely the chemicals from the accident splashed on the metals, reacting with the magic in the metals and causing them to explode, which in turn caused a chain reaction amongst other chemicals....” the doctor shook his head, sighing. He didn't notice the Cutie Mark Crusaders standing behind him, looking as if they wanted to melt into the ground in their shame. “Thankfully, none of the shards that pierced his skin were coated in the chemicals, so we don't have to worry about that at least.”
“Small comfort...” Rarity said, glancing in at Spike's comatose form.
“Why'd Twilight even have a hunk o' those metals anyway, if they're so dad-blasted unstable?” Applejack asked, shaking her head.
“Because she wanted to forge armor for you all,” Celestia said softly, coming up behind the doctor. The Element bearers looked up at her in shock. Celestia sighed. “Ever since you started on this path I've unintentionally cursed you all with, Twilight's grown more and more fearful for your lives. Every near miss, from Discord manipulating your minds, to Chrysalis, to Sombra, to Tirek... The incident at the Village of Equals was the final straw for her. She wanted to give you all some kind of protection, something that could work with the Rainbow Power. Unrefined orichalcum and mythril are dangerous, yes, but properly forged and infused with the right type of magic...”
“That's why she's been having such intense mood swings...” Rarity said softly, similar looks of revelation on the faces of the other Element bearers. “She's been trying to think of ways to protect us...”
Celestia sighed. “I hope, one day, you will forgive me for putting you all on the path of the adventurer... I just... I just wanted my little sister back, and you six had to become heroes because of it...” she said, lowering her head. Luna nuzzled her sister affectionately.
Rarity smiled. “Princess... If you hadn't sent Twilight to find the Elements... With the exception of Pinkie Pie, we all barely knew each other before that. We wouldn't have become close as we are.”
“Eeyup,” Applejack nodded. “There's been a lot of risk in what we do. But we wouldn't trade our friendship for anything in the world.” Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all nodded in agreement, smiling warmly.
Celestia smiled thinly. “Well...” she said softly. “If you say so...” She straightened up. “But enough of my old shames. Our focus right now should be Spike's physical health and Twilight's mental health. Doctor Stable, do you need our assistance with anything?”
Doctor Stable nodded, pocketing the shards of metal. “Yes, actually... We know nothing about dragon anatomy. We're not even sure we're giving him the right treatment. Plus, we need blood for him. He's stable right now, but he lost a lot of blood before we got him patched up, and I don't want to risk putting pony blood in him without knowing what it might due to him...”
Celestia nodded. “Say no more,” she said. “There is a laboratory in Canterlot that has donated samples of dragon blood for study, and the archives at the royal library hold medical information gained on dragons during past wars in which we were allies with them. I shall write up the royal requests for them immediately.”
The doctor nodded, motioning the tall alicorn into a nearby office. Once they were gone, Luna turned to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the three of them huddled shamefully into a corner.
“Speaking of which...” Luna said, frowning. “Whatever possessed you to try and get Cutie Marks in chemical warfare?”
Sweetie Belle gulped nervously. “A friend of ours, a colt named Button Mash... We were at his house a few days ago, playing video games. He has a game called Broken Hooves: New Age of War....”
Scootaloo nodded. “We were playing a level called 'Toxic Love...'”
Luna groaned, facehoofing.
Rarity frowned. “What is it?” she asked.
“I have that game, and I know that level. It involves creative use of varying types of gas bombs to get past soldiers without being seen...” Luna said, the others surprised at this. They had heard that Luna had taken to video games quite well once she discovered them, but to actually hear it from Luna herself... Luna shook her head. “Please, children... Please, tell me you were trying to make the sleeping gas bombs...” the Lunar Sovereign begged.
Apple Bloom nodded. “Yeah. We didn't want t'make the lethal stuff, but thought it'd be okay if we just made the sleeping gas. But everything in Princess Twilight's lab had fancy names with twelve syllabuses on them, and...” She sniffled.
“...We ended up guessing,” Scootaloo said, grimacing. “We went with chemicals that sounded like they were related to sleeping, and...” She looked over to Spike's room, whimpering.
“Why does Button Mash even have that game?” Rainbow Dash said, visibly baffled. “I have it too, and it's got an 'adults only' label on it.”
“Button's mom has always been pretty lax in what video games she gets him. They're his talent, so she figures he should be allowed to indulge it...” Sweetie Belle admitted.
Luna growled. “Then I must speak both with Button Mash's mother, as well as Ponyville's resident purveyor of electronic entertainments...” she muttered.
“D-Don't be too harsh on Button or his mom,” Sweetie Belle pleaded. “We're the ones who came up with the dumb idea...” Rarity came over to hug her sister, Applejack and Rainbow Dash doing the same for Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
Luna sighed. “I... will do as you ask,” she said. “But I do wish to have a discussion with them.”
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Meanwhile...
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Twilight and Trixie wordlessly packed for the Princess's trip to the Crystal Empire. Mostly books, and some clothing, regalware for public outings, as well as some food. The silence between the two of them was awkward, and Trixie was feeling more and more uncomfortable with it.
“So...” Trixie said after a few minutes of Twilight staring off into space as she packed. “...How did you know what to do when the Ursa Minor showed up?”
Twilight stared at her blankly for several moments, before smiling briefly, as if grateful for being given something else to think about. “Well... I'd only studied them in passing, mind you. But I knew a bit about child care from my babysitter, Princess Cadence.”
“And you had a Princess for a babysitter, too. Of course,” Trixie muttered.
“Hm?” Twilight asked.
“Never mind,” Trixie said, smiling. “Continue please.”
Twilight chuckled. “Well... I knew from the size that it was nothing but an infant, so I decided to just go with what I remembered from Cadence taking care of me when I was younger. Some fresh milk always calmed me, and there have been multiple studies that show gentle music is almost universally calming to most children. Beyond that, it was just a matter of gently rocking him and carrying him home.”
Trixie nodded. “Still, it had to have been tough. Trixie knows that invoking a triple corona on your horn is extremely draining. Although it's probably a lot easier for you now, since your ascension...”
Twilight smiled, although it was a little forced. “Well, it was a complicated casting. I can do a lot at once, it's a lot easier with objects of similar size and mass...”
“WASSUP, BITCHES!?” Discord crowed, bursting out of one of Twilight's suitcases, startling both mares and making them fall back.
“Discord, what...” Twilight started, turning to check on Trixie, who was patting her chest in shock, trying to calm herself.
“Oh, don't mind me. I'm just fuckin' around, hanging around and shooting the shit with some friends of mine,” Discord said, a tattered lavender tank top and polka-dotted tossle cap appearing on his body, a long chain ending in the diamond encrusted word, 'Gangsta' on the end danging from around his neck.
Twilight growled. “Discord, what are you doing?”
“Geez, you fuckin' deaf and dumbass or something?” Discord said. “I'm just hangin' out with a couple of mah favorite bitches, you know how this shit is!”
Trixie just stared, her jaw dropped. Twilight rubbed her temples. “All right, let's cut down on the swearing, okay?” the alicorn said.
Discord vanished in a pop, reappearing without the gangsta clothes, pressing her face to his. “Why? You didn't,” he said.
Twilight blushed angrily, shoving him aside magikinetically as she growled. “Go away,” she snapped.
“Twilight...” Trixie said, a worried look on her face. Discord hushed her.
“Let me handle this...” Discord said to her. He turned back to Twilight, and said, “I mean, really. You called a FOAL a, and I quote, a 'useless cunt,' to her face, in front of the whole town. In front of several other children, no less.”
“I know, okay?” Twilight growled, trying to walk away, the draconequus hovering right after her. “Just... Just leave me alone, I need to think about some things...”
“And I loved that little 'bitch please' you gave the Chicken Trio,” Discord cackled, ignoring the fact that Twilight was now trembling with rage, her eyes glowing. “Certainly put them in their place, didn't it?”
“SHUT UP!!” Twilight roared, firing a massive magical bolt at Discord. Trixie yelped and ran for cover, but Discord, almost disdainfully, simply swatted the powerful blast out of the air, turning it into a cloud of feathers which drifted harmlessly to the ground.
Discord just stared at her. Twilight gasped, realizing what she had done.
“Imagine if that had been Trixie you shot at,” Discord said. “Imagine if it had been one of your friends. Or Diamond Tiara. Or a foal you actually liked.”
Twilight's ears drooped, as she finally started to realize what Discord was getting at. Discord just shook his head. “Words can damage just as much as that laser you fired, Princess Twilight Sparkle,” he said, almost spitting the word 'princess.' “Get a hold of yourself before someone gets hurt.” His expression softened a little. “I don't blame you for getting angry because of what happened to Spike. And considering everything you've been through, I don't blame you for being overly worried about your friends and family. Nopony does. But you're strong, Twilight Sparkle. Even before you became an alicorn, you were among the strongest ponies around. And there won't always be someone around who can hold you back.”
Discord snapped his fingers, vanishing in a pop. Trixie hesitantly poked her head out from behind her hiding place. “Princess Twilight... are you going to be okay?”
Twilight stared at the floor, finally realizing on an emotional level what she had almost done earlier today, her expression distraught. “I... I don't know...” she admitted.
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Later...
Friendship Express Station...
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The gathered Elements all hugged each other tightly, the other five promising Twilight that they'd take care of things here. Trixie hung back, feeling like a fifth wheel, idly scuffing the ground with her hoof as she she waited by her and Twilight's bags.
As she waited, though, Princess Celestia came up to her. Trixie squeaked in surprise. “P-Princess!”
The Solar Sovereign smiled warmly. “My apologies, my little pony. I didn't mean to startle you,” she said. “Actually, my sister and I have to be on our way as well. But before we go, I wanted to give you two items to give to Prince Shining Armor when you see him.”
Trixie nodded. “Y-Yes,” she said.
Celestia levitated over two scrolls, sealed with wax, Trixie taking them in her own levitation field. Celestia smiled. “These are for Shining Armor's eyes only, but they do pertain to you. So no peeking. I'll know if you do,” she teased.
Trixie grinned nervously. “Trixie has no doubt of that, your highness,” she said.
Celestia chuckled, going over to say her own farewells to Twilight, the two of them hugging tightly before Celestia teleported away. Twilight came up to Trixie, the former showmare putting the two scrolls in her bags.
“What were those?” Twilight asked.
“Princess Celestia wanted Trixie to give those to your brother, and only to him,” Trixie said.
Twilight shrugged. “Well, I'm sure she has her reasons. Come on! There's a lot I wanted to ask you,” she said.
Trixie blinked. “Ask me?” She shook her head, and started to say, “I mean, ask Tri...”
Twilight put a hoof on her lips. “Trixie... I appreciate that the whole 'third-person imperious' talk is your thing... but really, among friends, can't we just talk normally? No titles, no special ways of speaking.”
Trixie blushed. “Trixie is... I mean, I am not used to doing so, Twilight Sparkle. I have never been one for making friends...” she said. She blinked, and added, “And if this is a come on, I'm flattered, really, but I'm most definitely into stallions rather than mares...”
Twilight giggled. “I like you, Trixie, but not that much,” she said as they got onto the train and were escorted to their berth. “No, I was more interested in learning about illusions sleight of hoof. I've never been able to fully master it, and since it seems to be stock and trade for showponies...” She shrugged. “Well, you saw what basics I know from our little duel a while back.”
Trixie sighed. “I'm still amazed you're being so forgiving about that,” she said.
Twilight smiled. “You were being influenced by the Alicorn Amulet. And besides, everypony deserves a second chance,” she said. “Heck, we let Discord hang around and he made your brief reign look like a trip to the spa.”
Trixie smirked. “Yes... the phrase 'stupidly forgiving' starts to come to mind...” she said, chuckling.
Twilight smiled. “Well, I suppose...” she said, her smile fading slightly. “For most things, anyway...”
Trixie frowned. “Twilight...” she said softly.
“He's in a coma, Trixie... My little brother is in a coma, and I don't know how to fix this, I...” she said, her voice cracking as tears flowed down her face.
“Twilight!” Trixie said, grabbing her face. “Calm down. You'll do nopony any good if you keep breaking down like this, all right?”
“I'm sorry...” Twilight said softly. “It's just... so hard lately to control how I feel...” She shook her head. “One minute I'm mad, the next I'm cheerful, the next I'm sobbing... I don't know what to do...”
“Well, that's part of the reason we're going to the Crystal Empire, isn't it? To help you get a handle on these mood swings,” Trixie said. “Here, maybe I can help to. I know some breathing exercises that have always helped me calm down whenever I was dealing with a particularly vicious heckler.”
Twilight nodded, letting Trixie teach her the breathing techniques, eventually returning to more pleasant topics. The rest of their trip to the Empire passed pleasantly enough, the two so wrapped up in their conversation that they didn't realize they had arrived until it was announced.
“Huh...” Twilight said. “Well, c'mon. Let's go meet my brother and sister-in-law.” The alicorn smiled, disembarking, picking up her luggage, while Trixie just stared out the window at the glistening bastion of beauty amidst the arctic ice.
Twilight was halfway down the hall when she realized Trixie wasn't following her. She turned back, seeing her staring at the shining buildings. She giggled. “Yes yes, it's so very shiny,” Twilight said. “I'm sure Cady can give you the three bit tour later. C'mon!”
Trixie meeped, startled, and blushed, picking up her bags and following Twilight out. They were greeted by several guards, nearly all of them with glittering crystalline coats, save for a gray unicorn and an orange pegasus which Trixie noted that Twilight seemed rather pleased to see.
The pegasus guard, blushing slightly at the sight of the princess, stepped forward. “Princess Twilight. You and Trixie are expected at the Crystal Palace. We will be more than happy to escort you there,” he said, motioning to a chariot.
Twilight nodded. “Thank you, Flash Sentry. We'd be delighted,” she said, motioning for Trixie to follow. Trixie, still awestruck by her surroundings, got on the chariot with her. As they trotted off to the palace, Twilight giggled as Trixie looked around in amazed fascination at everything, the crystal ponies themselves, the crystal buildings, the glowing Crystal Heart in the center lobby of the palace...
“I have a MILLION questions,” Trixie said finally, a wide grin on her face, her eyes sparkling almost as much as the crystals around them.
“They can wait,” Twilight said with a smile. “But I promise that most of them will be answered.”
They pulled up to a red carpet just outside the main palace gates. Twilight sighed at the sight of it, but just shook her head, letting herself be led inside by Flash Sentry and a crystal pegasus.
“Presenting her Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and her temporary assistant, the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Flash called out as the gates were opened.
Trixie grinned. “Nice to see my reputation has proceeded me,” she said, strutting along beside Twilight. The alicorn just chuckled, rolling her eyes as she turned to see Princess Cadence and Shining Armor standing just inside, waiting for the two of them, flanked by crystal pony guards and attendants.
Twilight giggled, running up to Cadence. The guards reflexively stepped forward to intercept, but Shining Armor just held up a hoof, letting them know it was all right. Cadence ran up to Twilight, Shining following behind. When the two alicorns met, they nuzzled noses, and began a short little dance that was, to Trixie's eyes, one of the most absurd things she'd ever seen in her life.
“Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake!” the two alicorns chanted, grinning widely. “Clap your hooves, and do a little shake!”
Trixie could clearly hear some of the guards and attendants stifling their laughter. Shining shook his head as he came up to Trixie. “I've tried telling them over and over again that it looks silly, ever since they started doing it when Twilight was a foal,” he said, smirking. “They never listen, though.” Trixie giggled.
Twilight just stuck her tongue out at her brother and grinned up at Cadence. “It's good to see you again, Cady,” she said. “I really just...” Tears began to flow down her face, her grin faltering. “I just... I really need to talk to someone right now...” she said, breaking down into sobs.
Cadence hugged her tightly. “It's okay, Twilight,” she said softly, stroking her former charge's mane, “it'll all be okay. You'll see.”
Shining sighed, turning to Trixie. “We were only told the basics,” he said. “Celestia has a bad habit of being vague in her letters. How's Spike doing?”
Trixie shook her head. “He's comatose, and needs a blood transfusion,” she said. “There's a royal order out for samples at a lab, but nopony knows how long it'll take to get there.”
“Damn,” Shining said softly, shaking his head. “I hope Spike recovers from this... Dude's the little brother I never had.”
Trixie nodded, and then remembered something. “Oh! That reminds me,” she said, levitating the two scrolls out of her bag and giving them to Shining Armor. “Princess Celestia wanted you to have these.”
Shining frowned, opening and reading both scrolls. “Interesting...” he said softly. He turned to some nearby attendants, and said, “Please take Trixie and Princess Twilight's belongings to their quarters.” The crystal ponies nodded, picking up the suitcases and carting them off. Shining turned to Cadence, and said. “You think you can take care of Twilight for a bit, Cady? I need to talk to Trixie real quick.”
Cadence nodded, still hugging the crying alicorn. “You go on ahead,” she said. “I'll get her to her room.”
Trixie frowned, confused. Shining nodded, and motioned for Trixie to follow her down a nearby hall.
“....Your highness?” Trixie asked. “What was in those scrolls?”
A thoughtful look was on Shining Armor's face. “...I'll tell you in a minute,” he said. “Right now, I'm trying to think of a reason why Princess Celestia thinks you of all ponies should be the captain of Twilight's new Royal Guard.”
Trixie froze in midstep. “...Wait. What?”
TO BE CONTINUED...
That moment with Discord with 2 parts Jarring to 4 parts heartwarming. Nicely done.
Mood swings? Awkward blushing? Clearly, Twilight is just preggers. And guess who's the daddy....
4940643 Agreed.
Spike lost his Eye?!?!?!?!? OMG *gives a WolfFrown as I think of how bad that is. and hoping that it can be replaced or healed by magik*
Now I am imagining John de Lancie talking like a gangsta, and my brain is breaking.
GO DISCORD! show twilight that she was an unnecessary bitch to the CMC sure she had a right to be furious but the CMC were already feeling guilty beyond belief and this little stunt Twilight pulled may have just put them into a depression that can only go deeper! Good job twilight
by the way i don't care if you down vote this comment cause its my opinion and i am sticking to it
While Discord is great and funny as ever, his presence is a problem. To whit: if he genuinely does care about Spike, and he's in Ponyville, why doesn't he just snap his talons and make him well again? He should have more than enough to do so.
4940778 So... you want a guy who's powers involve randomness, insanity, food, and reality warping to try and heal critical magical and chemical injuries on a youngster?
All righty then.
Wow. Poor Spike.Why Trixie as captain? This chapter was great except for the mention of Button Mash. Spike and Sweetie is my OTP. Otherwise great chapter and can't wait for the next one!
4940770 Mission complete!
4940778 probably because there may be interference when dealing with dragons and despite being part dragon discord probably doesn't know a full dragon's anatomy so if he tried instead of fixing it he could make it worse and face it his powers involve randomness and precision is needed to heal spike soooooo
Well this chapter was a downer, i was given the impression spike would recover fast but now he's in a coma... damn...
What is The Village of Equals? Will there be any more elaboration on that?
4940862 Yes. When Season 5 airs.
Ok, I understand Twilight has worries and such. But the castle is still considered the library to the town makes it a public entrance to the townspeople, meaning it was mostly Twilight's fault for not choosing a far more hidden area to work on such deadly chemicals. And you actually made Discord force Twilight to realise her mistake in lashing out, to which I applaud you for. However the fact of the matter is Twilight should be confronted severely for knowing the building was open to the public at the time due to the whole library thing instead of using the Castle of The Two Sisters in The Everfree, something that should be addressed.
Otherwise I am really liking this, good job!
4940910 In my headcanon, Twilight had a new tree library was constructed after the castle was created. The castle is someplace where she and the Elements can meet and possibly discuss things that the general public doesn't need to know. Such as, say, Grogar returning. (He won't appear in this fic, nor will any villain.) There's too much of a risk of some random pony or worse, a member of the Coward Trio, wandering in for whatever reason, overhearing, and causing YET ANOTHER riot. (I don't like the Flower Trio.) Plus, Twilight strikes me as the type who likes nostalgia, and creating a new treehouse library would fit her in my view.
There's no evidence that the new castle is the library (unless I missed an announcement), so taking all this into account that her castle is her private property, and as such, NOT open to the public (all the time).
We won't know for sure until season 5, I suppose.
Captain of Twilight's Royal Guard? Trixie?
4940962 Yeah, that's pretty much her reaction.
4940947 I see, thank you for explaining this.
Well, although the crusader's had a hoof in Spike's condition. It's nice to know that it's mostly Twilight's fault. After all Spike was there, and if the containers were so confusing even her Assistant couldn't translate it into plain Equestrian, than there's no way three fillies could either. I wonder what'll happen when that bit of realization hits her. Sure the fillies were doing something stupid, but if Twilight was better at making sure everything was clear, understandable, and safely labeled Spike wouldn't be in a coma [after all Spike and possibly others have access to the room to make sure that everything is clean, no contamination has happened, and everything's set. But if she made it hard to understand just to sound smart. Then an accident was just waiting to happen].
Also what those three are good at is causing Chaos. It's literally what they are best at. But I wonder where you'll go with their Cutie Marks. AB's good at creating things. And since she ran into Zecora and showed an interest with Potions. Has been rather enamoured with it [and could possibly get a special talent in that].
Scoots, is double-edged. In the background, and foreground. While we see AB's family, and Sweets family multiple times [and they get family episodes] Scoots doesn't. Which cements the orphan [in an orphanage] fanon /head canon [either that or her parents don't care that she exists]. And with Rainbow Dash being the worst sister ever. Has had nopony teach her how to fly. Even though she did a bit of flying in the Sleepless in Ponyville episode near the end [although don't know if it was a dream / fluke].
She's dead set on flying, and when she gets it could possibly lead to her cutie mark as she's been dreaming of since forever. But she does do Scooter tricks, which is more of a form of transportation than something she loves doing. Although we do know she loves extreme sports / activities.
Sweets? Singing ... is something she does. But she only likes showtunes, she can make stuff sure. But it's not what she loves. Magic based is something general enough that can open a lot of doors, and have a lot of uses. And can lead to S4's build up [I think Twilight time was the show's little bit of foreshadowing onto what they're good at / want to do with their lives. Under what was once a safe, controlled environment].
Anywho. Can't wait to see where you go, and what you do with them, and if one gains it faster than the others. Or they gain them around the same time.
4941008
Can you remind me of this "Village of Equals" please ? I seem to forget it
Season 5 may not be out yet, but I'll give it 10:10 odds of it being something nightmarish and traumatic. And not only is Spike half-dead, but her friend-saving armor ruined, too? And if she saw the inside of her lab when she was getting Spike out, she might have figured out that the mythril and orichalcum hit him, too. Just more fuel for Twilight's anger. Spike (and the CMC) is(are) damn lucky dragons are made of tougher stuff than ponies.
I had wondered just what Twilight would be doing in the Crystal Empire--vacationing and calming down didn't seem like it would show up enough in the story to justify the Twilicorn tag--but her realizing what she could possibly do and dealing with her out-of-control emotions are certainly something that would be interesting to read. And I'm very much interested in seeing what the Crusaders will do now, and for more than just because they need to find something other than Crusading to do. And what happens the next time Diamond Tiara encounters them.
Shining Armor's phrasing in that last line... is he suspicious that Trixie might have wrote up the notes herself? Because disbelief is an appropriate reaction for pretty much anypony who was told that Trixie should be a guard for... well, anyone, let alone guard captain.
Incidentally, with Discord bringing up "bitch, please" in his wake-up slap speech to Twilight, was her referring to her attitude or quoting her? Because she only said "Bitch" in the previous chapter.
4941251 I disagree about the fault being mostly Twilight's. The fault is primarily on the Crusaders, although everypony has some blame on this. Twilight locked the door to her lab with two padlocks and a magical seal, she just didn't know that Sweetie knew how to pick locks and counteract magical seals. (Sweetie mentions that she picked said locks in the current chapter.)
If the Crusaders had left well enough alone, or hadn't gotten impatient and just waited to ask Twilight for access to the lab, giving Twilight a chance to clear out the orichalcum and mythril samples, Spike wouldn't be one-eyed and in a coma.
The premise of the story is that the Crusaders caused this. Not Twilight.
4941254 It's what I'm calling the scenario set up by the previews Equestria Daily showed of Season 5's first episode.
4941280 Discord was referring to both, her quote and her attitude.
*applauds Discord* Good work, sir! You receive a !
4940727
Spike Sparkle, Number 1 Assistant. A dragon barely alive. Gentleponies, we can rebuild him. We have the magitech. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic dragon. Spike Sparkle will be that dragon. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. Ridged for Rarity's pleasure.
Well, he certainly did his "Jerkass Genie Mentor" thing. She did need to be told that her fear for her friends is warping her mind worse that normal and with HER strength, that's a problem. She's heading on an express train to Valeyard country.
Interesting, it almost seems as if the author listened to the feedback he got on the first chapter and addressed the issues in the second one. So we have things like the swearing being lampshaded (and I'll admit gangster discord was a hoot) and addressing some of the other issues like how improbable CMC Chemical Warfare Experts was (last time I let it go as a parody of the CMC fanon portrayal, but looking back it was kinda unfair to them since they're normally not that bad in the show, but the explanation you came up with was really good) or how odd it was for Celestia to show anger. Even the moral issues of Twilights reaction are addressed. Now granted, some things like Diamond Tiara coming out of nowhere couldn't be addressed, and even addressing and explaining OCC moments doesn't necessarily fix them, but still it was a good effort.
Of course its probably a coincidence, authors on fimfiction never pay attention to the fans.
All joking aside I like this chapter, everyone feels more in character, you made good use of the Discord as mentor idea, and it all felt like a natural outgrowth of the events in the first chapter while still being able to set up some new plotpoints for the future. . I'm looking forward to what happens next.
I don't think she would've minded
There are many ponies who hold responsibility in this area and I think that Celestia is one of them. She's put a lot on the shoulders of a young mare that she knows suffers from a pretty severe behavioural disorder. Any breakdown or stupid choices Twilight has made must at least partly come from that mistake. This does not in any way redeem the Crusaders from their stupid choices. However it is clear that the specific circumstances that led to this tragedy were made worse by some of the outcomes of Twilight's growing anxiety disorder.
If Discord thinks that you are standing at the edge of the slippery slope, then you should be worried. Twilight seems to have realised that.
Now, I wondering what Celestia's letters to Shining Armour say. It is possible that he might be under orders to place Twilight under magic restraint, something with which she might actually agree.
Now... Trixie as a guard captain? I smell Twixie shipping here; specifically the old tradition of a Princess's paladin also being her true love.
4941308 Then she REALLY should've been more careful with the labeling of her chemicals. I mean she KNEW Spike was in the castle and KNEW he probably didn't know what they were yet her mentality seems to have bee 'Oh he won't enter in here. He would know better.' Twilight Spike is STILL a child by this point. So yes what the CMC did was wrong but in HINDSIGHT you are not a innocent in this either and are equally to blame as them. Yet ponies seem to heft ALL the blame on the CMC even when they were trying to cheer them up. It's like saying: 'It's okay. I mean Spike could be dead and missing an eye and it's your fault but it's okay.' That literally just.... I can't even BEGIN to describe how messed up that is yet that's what I'm getting from your story. The CMC are to blame but yet Twilight is only getting berated for CUSSING? I was perfectly fine with her cussing. She was a concerned and angry mother OF COURSE she would act like this. I just don't get why Twilight is only getting berated because of one time cussing instead of the poor labeling and harvesting orhicalcum and mythril to make armor.
4941308
4942104 Exactly. As I mentioned in my post. Even without the CMC. She has staff that works for her and has access to that lab. Including Spike. With her labeling system it was only a matter of time until catastrophe happened. Heck it wasn't clear Mithril or Orichalcum was the cause. Only that the CMC were mixing chemicals. Spike was there. Fire broke out, explosions. Spike is hurt.
Which brings up the fact. She didn't have those ores secure. Since yes, they broke in, but even staff, or baby dragon Spike had access, to a room with easily accessible, in the open, unproperly labeled, unstable ores. Out in the open. It was only a matter of time.
So yeah I'm 100% with 4942104 on this one. What the CMC did was wrong. But way to much blame is shifted on them. And especially since they weren't just mixing stuff up. But trying to work in an environment that was purposefully made to be as unclear as possible to most ponies, and dragons. It was a disaster waiting to happen that the CMC just happened to trigger. And all the blame being hefted onto them in story is messed up. Especially now that we know that Twilight had a hoof in it, and she's not getting any of the blame like she should be. And the CMC are getting way to much.
4942104
4942239
She's being berated because she's stupidly powerful, suffering severe mood swings, and was on the verge of severely harming children. Hence, Twilight going to the Crystal Empire to try and get her emotions under control. Twilight's lab is meant primarily for her use, so she had no reason to suspect that the CMC would break in. She assumed that they'd learned SOMETHING from her time working with them in the past.
In addition, how do you even know that everything was improperly labeled, or that the ores weren't properly secured? You're making assumptions. This is TWILIGHT SPARKLE we're talking about! The living embodiment of the phrases anal retentive and overly organized! Of course she had things labeled and secured, the CMC simply didn't think to look up what each chemical was, and were casually tossing around empty bottles after forcing open doors. In addition, Sweetie Belle alone is known to be terribly sloppy when it comes to cooking, something that would easily extend to chemical use. And with all the Crusaders working together, their combined jinx was bound to cause a deadly explosion, or cause caustic chemicals to splash onto locked doors.
Well done though I'm kinda curious where the Season 5 rumors came from?
4942319 Only way I back off is if there is solid evidence of this. It's not that I don't want to believe you it's just that all the evidence is pointed against Twilight.
4942319
Twilight's lab. But as you said this is Twilight Sparkle we're talking about. She doesn't do her own clean up. She has Spike, or now that she has staff [if she does] do all the cleaning for her. Usually with a fifty foot checklist of what to do and where. She never cleans up after herself. Ever. And we see that she has a mini lab with chemical set up with Apple Bloom and the potion creation lessons. So how in Tartarus is that different in that castle? She dislikes big changes and gets uncomfortable around them. With all the chaos around her, she'd want as many similarities as possible. So yes. She had a personal lab that was meant to be used by her, mostly [and a few others]. But so was the lab in the library. A Lab that she let Apple Bloom use.
And the crusader's know not to let Sweetie Cook. That's why they brought her along to pick the locks. Scootaloo to grab stuff that sounded right. And Apple Bloom, the one trained in potion making. To make the stuff.
Now Twilight, as shown in canon, and aforementioned. Has others do all of her clean ups. And had the ores in an unsecure location [yes they were in the lab. But even then, in a lab where other's would be doing to clean up / had access too. You don't have unstable ores in anything less then proper containment unit. With Warning symbols, biohazard labels, and other warning labels. And the CMC who weren't trying to make dangerous stuff would've stayed clear. Especially since AB would've been sure to let everypony know to stay clear of certain symbols / containers].
So it was literally something wrong waiting to happen. Lab accidents happen all the time. Even with professionals. Add in professionals with Alexander Fleming's level of cleaning after herself. Then you just up the ante. This is one of those fics where it was bound to happen, and it was the Crusader's Hijinx that just happened to set it off.
After all AB was used to working with Twilight. Using her chemicals, getting stuff ready, and making a potion. Why Twilight decided in her stress that it would be a good idea to change how she did things, to using names that those cleaning would make mistakes with, or to not have the proper warning symbols, labels, and containment on the more dangerous objects [which is her oversight]. Then I'm just saying, saying "It's all your fault CMC," is BS. Especially when you add in these.
Chemical Storage PDF
Chemical Management
If Twilight Sparkle followed those rules on the chemicals. And most importantly had them plainly labeled as per scientific safety regulations; Had the proper shelving / storage rules for what type of hazard class goes where [something that she'd have taught Apple Bloom when having her deal with her mini lab for potion making, and Zecora when teaching her Zebrican Potion making. Which seems to have a set, structured organization pattern as well]. Would've known if not what the chemicals were. What shelves to use.
Nextly. Using Chemical Management as a guideline. Those metals should never have been at risk of getting splashed. If she was following the organization needed to keep them safe from accidental activation, she'd have them stored as if they were toxic, and had them in chemical resistant secondary containers. In a seperate storage area, with the proper labels [not the fancy, 99.999999% of her clean up crew would not be able to read], and warning symbols. Yes it was for her use. But it's something every scientist should know to do. Safety first.
And then there's this:
Which makes it sound, with this latest information that Spike caught them. And was watching over them slightly. Making sure they didn't get into any of the dangerous stuff. Looked over the mix didn't see any of the signs that Twilight's previous accidents throughout his life that there was going to be a boom. Didn't know the new fancy labels rather than the plain and understandable ones needed in a lab. So he gave his okay at a safe distance incase a boom happened. CMC hijinx happened. Splashed metal. Spike is where he's at now.
I'm not saying the CMC are innocent. They did break and enter. That's on them. But Twilight's lack of following very clear, and precise rules, and setting up her lab in a way that was for some reason different than the libraries that Apple Bloom was used to. And didn't follow OSHA [or Equestrian version of OSHA] guidelines for chemical storage and containment. And her being overly fancy with her labels, rather than the warning stickers, hazard labels [which since AB was making something non-lethal would have been clear to tell her CMC friends to avoid]. And her not following the rules in the lab that others were expected to clean. That's all on her.
I'm just saying the CMC are getting too much flak, and are getting all the blame. I'm not saying they are blameless, but that lab was an OSHA disaster waiting to happen. We were probably a few days away from tragedy hitting Spike much the same way. But from Spike's actions cleaning up, or Spike saving a staff member who accidentally made a lab accident and almost getting killed.
But that's why guidelines are there. To minimize that. And storing unstable, highly dangerous compounds,
And yes we don't know if those metals were toxic. But with their instability, dangerousness, ease of causing death / injury, and massive amounts of warning given. They'd be stored much the same way. So there should've been no way for those chemicals to touch those metals. And no way for that explosion to happen. But it did. That's on Twilight, Spike's near death is because of her negligence, and not following strict guidelines for safety and the CMC's naivety, curiosity, and inability to read the improperly labled [as in not "plainly and permanently labeled [and since these are spell components. That'd include the same for biological materials [spell components] that have even a stricter labeling system [one where anyone can undstand it. Contact person in case of spill / accident, and other safety regulations].
Other than locking everything in a secure lab. No other safety procautions, proper storage laws / guidelines were followed. if and when an investigation happens. Yes the CMC will still be boned. But since the lab didn't follow the proper guidlines [seeing as chemicals hit the unstable metals. That should've been stored properly], and her lab was apparently an OSHA Nightmare. She's the one who set up that problem in the first place.
I'm just saying. That they whole. "You're all at fault, it's all on you," And the other blameing BS dumped on the CMC. Wasn't 100% their fault. They had a hoof in it. But Twilight had an equal hoof in it [after reading this chapter]. Without the metal ores, or knowing things were labled [still Twilight's bad on that one]. I was willing to suspend disbelief on the fact that Spike was there, CMC were mixing stuff, Spike didn't see the boom coming, magic fire stronger than normal fire. Spike saves CMC. Especially since the CMC were making biological weapons.
With this new evidence. And knowing that they knew what they were making, the normally named ingredients, knew to avoid certain things [and I know for a fact they wouldn't let Sweetie Belle do more than help Scoots gather ingredients. Especially with her penchant for turning liquids to ash], and would've had warning lables and hazard labels drilled into AB's brain. They didn't know the new labeling system, with the words that broke OSHA guidelines, and the storage safety laws that OSHA has up, and accidentally hit those ores due to Twilight's recklessness.
4942501
Read the second half of my post [the ones after the links]. OMC! The evidence scientifically speaking [especially adding in the links]. Makes the evidence just collapse on Twilight like a bag of bricks. Yes the CMC did something illegal in B&E. But those ores should've been in unbreakable, chemical resistant containers, in a separate area, clearly marked. There's no way a chemical spill should've happened. Every unicorn is warned about those metals, and they were using a very clear list of ingredients [the names everyone uses and that lab should've used]. And were making something non-lethal.
Her lab didn't follow safety rules, and regulations that every scientist / professional lab must use. And even though it was private With Twilight always having others clean her stuff [it's what Assistants' are for] was a tragedy waiting to happen. The CMC were just unfortunate enough to be the ones to do it rather than Twilight, Spike, or her cleaning staff that had access to that room.
4942684 True.
Im more into Twilight and Trixie's time in the Empire, but i like this story. Update soon
4942671 Hmmm.
Hnnn...
*checks his notes*
*looks over these posts*
Well, the purpose of constructive criticism is to make a story better.
I think you just did.
Why's there so much swearing?
4941343 I can't even begin to fathom how much of a win this post is.
4943179 Well, to be perfectly fair MLP seems to be set at an equivalent of the late rennaisance. For all we know, chemistry (alchemy?) students could still be taking glass-blowing lessons to keep their lab tube stocks up. They might not have the same safety regulations that we do and its usually this kind of incident that ends up implementing them, so you could work with that.
4943179
You're welcome, and honestly I'm as vocal about points like that because I honestly love this story and the potential it has for being pure epic win.
4942671
I must compliment you on a truly well written and useful post. Tis a rare pleasure to see a well thought out critique of story events thats fully supported and well written. And with 100% less vitriol than usual.
Though I must point out that Equestria has obviously yet to discover the wonders of OSHA. In fact, considering the powerful and dangerous things that've been left laying around such as..
The Alicorn Amulet(pawn shop)
Discord(garden)
Elements(ruined castle, then an easily violated vault)
Magic Tree(in a cave)
Mirror Pool(under a rock)
Pinkie Pie(free roaming)
Inspiration Manifestation(left to rot in a half assed vault)
and comic books that randomly eat people..
I think it's fair to say that theres a high probability that the idea of something as simple as the idea of lab safety standards is probably alien to them.
I think Sombra is the only pony to ever really entertain the concept of any sort of serious security. I'd wager some quatloos on everything in HIS lab being OHSA compliant.
4943389
Thank you .
While they do have a sincere lack of regard to personal safety of their young, safely protecting of dangerous artifacts. They still have in the show, potion ingredients labeled, where they can be easily read. And with Twilight being a dedicated scientist, and the guidelines for handling / labeling things [modern times, dedicated organization rules and guidelines, and with the OCDness of Twilight] should have followed what she had AB deal with, and was used by the rest of the world [even zebras] (that we see so far).
So it's weird that Twilight would purposely change how things are done, and would set up things that was guaranteed to become a tragedy one way or another. But yeah they don't have OSHA, but I'd be surprised if they didn't have some committee that'd investigate dangerous conditions [in case of workers comp. Not really preventing the damage, but being like. Yeah, see these things? The rule books say that's a no-no. This pony gets X bits].
your blaiming videogames..... you gonna bring up the stupidly anicdotal (scientificaly unprovable and useless) evidence charts now or later?
contrary to what the public likes to believe there is not alot of evidence that violent videogames make violent people, in every case involved the people who where violent had outside stimuli most non-video game related violent people had. bad parents, bad home life, bullies, and they all had severe mental problems. video games is the lazy mans way out.
and sweetie bell picked a magic seal twiligth made? really was that the best you had?
4943527 No, I'm not blaming video games. They got the idea from it, yes, and I believe that some sellers/parents should be more careful about who they let have what (not saying all sellers/parents are dumb enough to let their 10 year old have GTA, just some of them).
However, there's going to be no rant against video games. I love video games. For crying out loud, I made Luna and Rainbow Dash both gamers, geez. I'm not Jack Thompson. You're jumping to conclusions and putting words into my mouth. Stop it.
4942671
Bravo, Bravo, and Bravo again.
Even though there's plenty of stuff you've already said, there's more to be told.
Toxicity and danger of those substances in the lab aside, why didn't Twilight simply use a better lock? A lock that couldn't be picked by a foal? Or rather, picked at all? I know the CMC are known to get into places kids their age shouldn't, but either Twilight wasn't trying, or she underestimated a lot of things. Why not have safeguards? As you said, private lab regardless, there's plenty of security breeches occurring.
And more.
I know that the knowledge of magical metals only really applies to unicorns, but in all reality, it should've been taught to all, regardless of whether they are a unicorn or not. There's a reason everyone at my school is taught about Hydraulic Injections even if they've never going to be working on hydraulic equipment. Or proper storage of refrigerant. Or how to find out if that clutch is made out of asbestos.
Knowledge is like food. Bad food may cause sickness, and good food may cause health. But no food will always cause death.
I love this, the cliff-hangers are just like the show!