5060521 Wait when did I name drop? I do not mean to sound as if I am being stupid or condescending, but I am confused.

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Pretty much all of the first two chapters (which is what I've gotten through so far). For example:

He jumps into the air and mimics how Sebastian flips around from "Black Butler" and throws the knives and forks, you know the ones.

No, in fact I don't know. I've never watched "Black Butler" before in my life (nor "Naruto", nor "Godzilla vs. Destoroyah", nor any other show you've name-dropped in this story, save MLP), nor does the show interest me at all, so trying to make a comparison to it is a pointless endeavor. Doing that is very poor writing (telling, not showing). Describe the action to me [the reader], even if it's a rather basic description. Never ever use a phrase like "he flips like this other guy did in this other TV show that I've seen" or anything of a similar intent. Assuming that anyone else knows what you are talking about makes you look like the fool when the reader has no idea what you are talking about.

Also, don't have a ton of music "playing" during sequences. It slows down the action and breaks immersion. If there is a slow point and the character decides to relax a bit, then sure, have the music playing. Having it playing during a fight scene is just straight up stupid (take it from a former soldier, having music playing during combat is just a bad idea, as you can't hear that guy trying to sneak up behind you so he can slit your throat). That's just cartoon action movie BS, and makes for a poor story to read.

You also need to get an editor, badly. In the first two chapters alone, there were tons of possessive/plural errors (wolf's is possessive, wolves is plural), homophone errors (there/their/they're), conjugation errors ("I see", "you see", "he/she/it sees") the ever fun it's/its error ("it's" = "it is" and "its" is possessive), and tense flips (for the most part, the story is in present tense, but flips to past tense from time to time).

So far, there have been a ton of very rookie mistakes ("this is my first story" kind of mistakes). Having ten stories under your belt, this is very bad. You have too much experience (supposedly) to be making these kinds of mistakes. The premise is interesting enough that, despite the numerous annoying and distracting errors, they are not enough to make me stop reading (yet).

5433646 Ah, thank you for the help. And I am actually very sorry that I made so many mistakes. I try to not to, as I have no one to edit my stories nor use any sort of program to write with. I am thankful for the advice, as I had originally thought the music thing was a sort of dumb idea but went with it for some reason.
Not really sure as to why. And the "name-dropping" thing is because at the time I was being an idiot, and not went with the feel and flow of the story, description's, etc., I chose to do something "simpler" as I originally thought about going back and fixing it, but my mind must have got caught onto something else and my fingers moved automatically as they tend to do if I am "in-the-zone" as I mostly am if I get into something I enjoy.
Also, please forgive the errors in my wording, sometimes I will spell it correctly and the keys won't do what I ask, and sometimes I just forget what word is what and rely on my gut some of the time. Thank you for the input and some clarification that I might not have understood, as I tend to be a bit slow at times.
Sincerely, Vladimir

so whens the next chapter?

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I love this story please let me know when the next upload for this story is uploaded I'll be waiting my friend and keep me posted on the story

You can use my oc. Let me just send you a private message about him. If that's what I need to do to let you know about him that is.