Jot Jiggety Jog
Joined 27th Mar, 2012 ·
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moar
Very well written, and believable aswell, looking forward to reading more.
If anyone has editing suggestions or criticism, by the way, I welcome them.
Primrose... Primrose... wasn't that Fluttershy's pen name in another fanfic?
Anyway, cute story. I'm looking forward to more, and I love those little dress-up parts. I hope they'll do that again.
454785
No, but Rose Papillon was in "Twilight Sparkle and Rarity's Magic Book". Which, obviously, is not canon to this fic.
455230
You're right, mixed that up
Thiss is really good so far. I can't wait to see where you take this, though I can guess.
you have the makings of a first rate clop author!! Bravo!
This is a tasteful clop. I'm always looking for one and you've done a first rate job! Being resistant to the idea of having feelings for a friend of the same sex may be a bit overused but you've done well so far and I love it!
(I can't say I've done better. I've use that in my stories all the time)
455869
Oh, gosh. Thanks! 
458741
Well, it's not necessarily going to stay tasteful...
It's hard to inject a conflict into a relationship between such close friends without making at least one of them resistant to the idea for one reason or another. (Hah, lookit me, talking about clop like it's real literature...)
459213
love it and cant wait for more!
459225
Don't apologize, it's a valid criticism. I wasn't aware that it might be considered cliche; now I am. I'll make an effort to avoid that particular theme in the future, and keep an eye toward not playing it too straight in this one.
Does anyone know where the, now damn near canon, idea of Fluttershy writing/owning a vast collection of dirty novels came from? It makes really scary sense, but just doesn't seem like something you would think of.
Not normally a fan of the more adult fics the fandom can churn out, but I've made an exception for this well-written example. Looking forward to seeing where this heads.
Really nice. Way better than any clop I come up with.
first on this chapter? huh.....
<----emote related, its Rarity in her inner turmoil
so im not one to make incredibly detailed and philosophical, or whatever word your supposed to use, comments, so im going to keep this super simple:
in my opinion, this was great
i want to see more and cant wait for your next update
Love it! Love everything about this. Well written. Keep it up!
I adore this, inner turmoil around finding yourself attracted to someone of your own gender? Myy faavourite topic. For some reason!
Keep it up!
You write Rarity very well. I don't get to say this often about clopfics, but this is classy as hell. I do think you could take out the more explicit parts and still have a very excellent, emotional shipfic, but we'll see where this goes. :)
495688
Thank you so much! I've actually considered doing just that... but, like you say, we'll see.
Better n better
I gotta say this is a really nice job for a mature fic, and even though I don't really ship Flarity I'm still looking forward to seeing where this goes next, and when I say I'm reading it for the plot I honestly mean it
I'm really enjoying this, Jot Jiggety Jog. Your descriptions are very vivid and paint a very clear picture. And I like it
502311
505456
img.ponibooru.org/_images/c6fe908ae9e9b43546a02bb7b8be6a45/171713%20-%20rarity.png
*faints from happy*
Nicely done :D
I want to apologize for taking so long on the next chapter... Rarity had a better idea for the next part than I did, which means this thing is going to end up about twice as long as I'd anticipated, and my ratio of stuff to be written vs. time to write it in has been unfavorable. I think I should be able to crank out a couple of chapters in the next week or so, though... I really just need one good session to finish 4.
558341 That's a relief, I was worried this awesome story was going to die off. Thanks for letting us know.
This is a very detailed story, from the overarching love to the dream, keep up the great work.
I proclaim your offering satisfactory.
You, sir, are writing an absolutely fantastic story. I hope it is as fun for you to write as it is for me to read. I look forward to more of this story.
Okay, I never thought I'd be able to, but I'm going to say it. This is better than Romance Reports. Seriously, this is the best clop-with-plot I've read... probably ever. The characterization and storytelling pace is brilliantly well done, and it seems to concentrate primarily on the storyline without sacrificing the quality of the clop scenes. Seriously, all my thumbs.
576108
Oh, jeeze... I think you're overstating the case a tad! Romance Reports is the unreachable ideal that I look up to.
This is so sad and beautiful, even intriguing. Very excited to see where this goes!
Hoping for a happy ending, but we'll see what happens. Much love!
You have my undivided attention.
[edit]
Ohmigosh! I was going to make a Romance Reports comparison, and I didn't, then I saw the comment! I wouldn't say... better, but it is definitely in the same league.
576438 Regarding the Romance Reports thing, I'd say the quality of storytelling and characterization is about equal, but you put in proper paragraph spacing rather than the 'wall of text' approach of RomRep. Also, you seem to realize that 'internal monologues' and 'coherent grammar' aren't mutually exclusive concepts, which is why I find this a much easier and more flowing read.
Man, I'm glad I Favorited this one.
576565
Well, okay, I'll absolutely own that -- though personally, I kind of liked the stream-of-consciousness internal monologues when they were reflecting confusion and emotional responses rather than subvocalized thoughts. Rarity's panic attack in ch. 3 was intended to evoke that very tone, in fact.
576628
Me too!
464679
Well, unless I'm mistaken, it ORIGIONATED from one of the authors who steamrolled early pony clopfiction; Butterscotchsundae. She was, and is, infamous for sensual romantic often stopping just short of explicit clop stories. Also the author of one of my favorites, Swayback Mountain. (A applejack/rarity pairing of all things, and surprisingly well done.)
The earliest instance of the the fluttershy dirty novels thing I can find was Butterscotches story 'Rarity's magic book'; which Twilight stumbled across a erotic novel rarity had accidentally left behind at the library. Twilight, ever curious, took a peek and became enraptured by its contents. Rarity, upon realizing where she must have left the book, bolted back to the library to get the book before it was discovered, but found a flustered and aroused twilight reading the book, and gave her a hoofs on lesson in sexual exploration to the pent up mare. When twilight woke up, they finished the ending of the book, and rarity was disappointed saying 'Miss Papillonne' wrote amazingly steamy sensual scenes, but terrible endings.
The scene then cut away to fluttershy narrating as she wrote a poorly veiled instance of Twilight sparkle (named Sparkler) as the main character, and having difficulty finding the words. Upon finishing the scene she rereads it and praises herself, saying "Oh Miss Papillonne... “ Fluttershy chuckled to herself “You filthy, dirty little pony! You’ve outdone yourself this time!” Revealing fluttershy is in fact the infamous dirty story author twi and rarity were reading.
From there it was referenced in other stories, and it became almost fan canon in the clop lovers that Fluttershy secretly writes dirty novels.
http://clopfic.heroku.com/fics/416
Butterscotch eventually removed it from Deviantart, either because it was TOO borderline for DA's standards; or simply because it was it was one of her earliest works and she didn't like it as much now that she has penned quite a few more fanfictions. But it is still available on googledocs.
578260
Rarity knew it was rude to look so shocked, but she couldn’t manage any other expression. “A composition book? Fluttershy, I didn’t know you wrote! How did I not know this?!”
Fluttershy ducked her head. “I'm sorry, Rarity. I kept it secret. I was just embarrassed...”
The unicorn giggled. “I don't see why you should be! Might I read a little?”
“Oh... um... that one hasn't been edited yet...”
“Edited?” Rarity repeated. “You've been... edited? Have you had something published?!” she gasped.
“Um… a few…” The pegasus was already blushing hard.
“What were they called?” Rarity demanded. “I can’t believe I never heard about this!”
“Oh, well, I use a pseudonym…”
Rarity clapped her hooves to her cheeks, all but dancing with glee. “Ooh! Now I simply must read them! What’s your nom de plume?”
“It’s, um… Rose Papillonne.”
“Hmm? What was that?” She leaned closer to catch the soft words.
The windows of the Carousel Boutique rattled and birds took startled flight for a hundred yards around. “WHAAAAAT?!”
Rarity had turned beet-red and forgotten how to form sentences. “Then you— Surprise and Firefly—”
“Uh huh.”
“But I— to those scenes— and you’ve been taking inspiration—” The unicorn’s eyes widened farther and she gasped, the blush spreading from head to hooves. “And Sparkler—”
“I’m sorry…”
Rarity wobbled slightly on her hooves, though her voice was oddly steady. “I think I need a moment.”
“Take your time.”
The unicorn fell over in a dead faint.
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/131900433120.png
An intriguing story, to be sure. Continue post haste!
Huge Hoofner
Snerk.
I bow to you, O king of bizarrely suggestive puns.
The way that Rarity gets herself in such an emotional bind is so, so believable...
and when the letter is being discussed, I got a strong sense that she WANTED to be discovered. Your ability to write complex characters who are a mess of inconsistencies papered over with a thick layer of persona, just like real people are; That's what I most appreciate here.
I await further fascinating fiction, forthwith.
579598
“Take your time.”
The unicorn fell over in a dead faint.
For some reason this invoked an extremely strong image of Fluttershy as CATS from Zero Wing.
"Hello how are you gentlemen"
....
"You have no chance to survive make your time"
605753
Thank you! I was rather proud of that one.
605853
Thank you very, very much. I'm really glad that came across. (Rarity's conflicted feelings, not Fluttershy as CATS. Heh.)
I rarely read clop stories. Typically, in my opinion, any story involved is flimsy and the sex is rushed far too quickly. Too often it is just sex for the sex of clop. (Does that make sense?) The fact that it wasn't until the second chapter that it began shows a compassion to keep the story fresh and connected with each scene. Rarity's concerns over if her emotions are real or not and fighting over what her body is telling her versus what she had come to believe are played out well through her thoughts and physical/emotions actions very vividly. And for some reason I can almost picture Rarity standing outside Fluttershy's cabin in a trench coat staring in the window.. Yeah wouldn't happen.
:
Also, the grasp for the personality of Rarity is amazing. It feels very much to what the show would offer (if it ever fell down this road). Touches to her speech, words spoken, how she fauns and agonizes feels that there's a connection between the character and the author. Thank you for writing this, I'm glad I didn't skip over this story expecting a typical lewd clop. A nice sensual story with a sensual clop makes for a pleasing experience!
P.S. Fluttershy makes the perfect wife for nearly every single character. Hands down.
607052
Thank you! I think that Rarity and Dash are two of the most interesting characters to write because their internal processes are so dramatically at odds with the faces they present to the world. Rarity is constantly at war with her own worse nature, and she's shown herself capable of immense self-deception and rationalization. Of all the mane six, I think she's the one who knows herself the least.
Applejack, I think, is the most honest with herself (naturally!) but even she betrays more depth than she thinks she has. She wouldn't oppose 'frou-frou' so violently if she didn't think it somehow damaged her image, which begs the question: who is she trying to look so tough for? (Why yes, I do have an Applejack story sketched out already. How did you know?)
609144
Course this is all my opinion.
Each character has a certain dynamic about them that is unexplained thus far in the show according to their personality traits. As you mentioned, Applejack has a lot of pride. She tends to want to stick to a certain image and fights most changes to this image. This has the problem of bringing a clash onto others perceiving help or temporary changes as permanent ones. One thing I notice (mind you, this isn't saying anything bad onto other writer) in quite a few shipping stories that has the character coming out of the closet, Applejack is one of the two who usually shows the hatred for homosexuality. Rarely does this go beyond Applejack being raised old fashioned or considering it an abomination of sorts (in truth, if you consider real world stereotypes Applejack's position in life makes her the most likely to have this idea) for the cause. My opinion, taken from the show, was that she'd usually be the most accepting. Heck, she at times seems more loyal than Rainbow Dash to me.
609343
I tend to think of Equestria as a pretty accepting place. Anyway, I find the storyline of "Character and friends try to come to terms with her gayness" is boring. It's inventing a problem to solve when there are plenty of more interesting ones already present in the characters.
Dash is insecure, of course -- but my angle on that is that she tends to define herself in terms of what she can do and what others think of her, and thus practically everything she does is motivated, or at least informed, by her self-esteem. It's when her sense of ethics and personal desires drive her to do something 'uncool' that she becomes interesting.
Twilight... I tend to leave alone because so many others examine her inside and out (no pun intended), and because Romance Reports did it far better and more thoroughly than I ever could.
Fluttershy, I have some trouble with. She's a highly reactive character -- her first response is to withdraw from a situation that makes her uncomfortable, so the story has to bring conflict to her rather than the other way around. That's not to say she doesn't have her inner strength, but it takes a fairly deft touch to let her face a situation without overwhelming her.
Pinkie is difficult for the opposite reason. I have trouble writing her bizarre zig-zags of thought. There's a certain knack to making Pinkie sound like Pinkie, and I don't really have it. Like Twilight, her focus episodes have gone pretty in-depth about her personality, so there's not much left to say there. Abandonment issues aside, I think she's in search of someone who can do for her what she said in "Smile, Smile, Smile" -- "And maybe you feel sad, but Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn't that bad."
609594
Pinkiepie is that friend who I think everyone wishes they had or could be. Someone who is able to look past whatever and cheer up even the most horrible of moods.
With the story series I'm doing I currently have Rainbow and Fluttershy shipped, Applejack is looking at somepony but no hint as to who or gender. Eventually I plan to do a full story (chapters) on Rainbow/Shy. With her, I can't help but not think that there's some trauma (Fluttershy), people can be naturally shy but there always feels like there's something deeper. (Yes the show did reveal various things with this from the bullying and that very well could be what the trauma is.)
Overall acceptance does feel to be Equestria's way once someone steps up to show that something isn't dangerous. The only time that comes to mind is Zecora and much of that was fear of the unknown. (A character I have nightmares writing for). If I was to add hate for someone being different (which I have for my writings) it's typical that they are the minority of thought and often have bad things occur to them.