86 - Earthly Matters
As I sat in my bed listening to the faint, but steady, beat of the heart monitor from the next room, my thoughts drifted to Earth. I wondered how much time I would have left to stop the impending doom that threatened my world. I wondered if I would be able to do anything at all.
I didn’t like reality, if that indeed could describe what was happening now. So many improbabilities, things that should have been impossibilities, coincided to produce this unique and baffling set of circumstances. So long I’ve been under the tether of Synchrony, then the null and then Black Box that I’ve forgotten what it meant to live a normal life. In the two years that had gone pass, nothing felt the same.
If I hadn’t been living a normal life, did that make me normal? Or did that make me something else?
I didn’t like where that was heading.
Healing was slow and steady. Plans for visiting Chronus had been put to a screeching halt until I had gotten better. Pseudo came in and told me how the conferring or consecration of the title worked. I was a little worried at how any of this worked. From what I gathered, those who visited Chronus had to be proven worthy of a visit. I thought that was elitist dung.
If I were a god I’d at least take some time to listen to the complaints of the mortal realm, but then again I’d probably listen to an endless rabble of petitioners and people expecting me to solve all their problems, when most of the time they could have done so themselves. I started, realising that this was exactly how Celestia’s Day Court was run. Huh.
In any case, Pseudo gave me a low down on the aspects of challenging the immortal deities in charge of bestowing immortality. It sounded a bit crazy, with all the gods and the mechanics of becoming a god. This was so farfetched I had trouble swallowing it. Pseudo explained to me that I wasn’t really there to become a god. I was merely there to ask for a favour, to strike a bargain with Chronus. I felt relieved at that, I mean, how much more responsibility could I handle before I just snapped? Not much more I can tell you that.
I stopped Pseudo when she mentioned something strange.
“Wait, so I get the title and you exercise the power, right?” I tried to clarify, scratching my head.
Pseudo nodded.
“Wouldn’t that mean that we are both challenging the immortal guardian/guard things?”
Pseudo nodded again, her wings flittering a bit.
“Absolutely not”, I ground out.
Pseudo gave me a strange look.
“Why not?”
I sighed, rubbing my temples with the tips of my fingers. My jaw was fine but I still had a headache when I spoke too loudly.
“I was this close to losing you a few days ago. I don’t want that to happen again”, I spoke quietly, giving Pseudo a look that conveyed my concern.
Pseudo pouted, then her expression cleared.
“Oh, you think we’re going to fight the guardians? Oh, no, no, no!” she hastily corrected me, bringing a holey hoof to her mouth.
“We just have to answer a few questions, that’s all”, she continued, giving me a weak smile.
“Oh good.” I sagged, relieved. I didn’t even know I was so tense. “I was worried that we’d be facing a huge battle. Now we can just visit, get my answers and go.”
Pseudo fixed me with a stare that could have melted glass.
“Make no mistake, these tests are not easy… and no less life-threatening”, Pseudo intoned, glaring at me as if to dare me to make a flippant remark. I remained silent.
Pseudo chose the weirdest times to become aggressive. Maybe that’s how she acted when she was worried about someone. Aww, Pseudo!
I hugged her suddenly as she let out a surprised squeak.
“Ah- wha-“ she yelped struggling in my bear hug.
“Pseudo, don’t be so serious. It’ll be fine. Besides it’s not as if we’re going right now. We can just relax until I get better”, I said, stroking Pseudo. She relaxed under my ministrations. These ponies really remind me of my dog.
A tremendous bang from the doorway startled the two of us. I saw an indignant Twilight standing there, her horn smoking.
“Then again, I think I spoke too soon”, I groaned as Twilight stomped towards us.
-----
Gruff angled the map, placing another marker at their current position.
“Ready”, Gael called out, holding a wire in her claw.
“Solid?” Gruff shouted out towards the tree line. He heard the snap of twigs and some pony curses that stuck to Solid like tree sap.
Solid stumbled out of the brushes to the left of Gruff, collapsing in a heap.
“Ready”, she grumbled, not bothering to shift her position, even though a rock was sticking into her side painfully.
Gruff nodded.
“Take half an hour and then get ready to move to the next point”, he growled, consulting a diagram from his backpack.
Lightning and Hardy stood at the lookouts trying to spot any movement that would give away potential intruders.
“Gruff, I see something!” Hardy yelled, spotting a black shape among the sky. He crouched, prepared to launch himself to intercept the shape.
Gruff scanned the sky at the area Hardy’s pointing hoof indicated at. He face broke out into a wide smile as a roar split the sky.
“Don’t worry, she’s a friend”, he replied, as Hardy relaxed.
“Thank Celestia!” Hardy growled, going back to a ready stance. “I don’t think I could take on a dragon.”
-----
Twilight stomped over to my bed, never once taking her eyes off me. It was a little disconcerting and slightly disturbing to say the least.
“I come back to Canterlot and I find out you’ve been hospitalised again!” she yelled, her nostrils flared in anger. I shrunk back into the hospital bed sheets.
“There’s actually a good explanation for this”, I replied in a small voice, eyeing Pseudo.
“Oh I know all about Pseudo but that’s not what I’m mad about.”
She paused considering her next statement.
“No, that’s not what I’m only mad about”, she growled her voice low.
Twilight stomped a hoof, flicking her head to get rid of a strand of mane that had fallen over her eye.
“I heard you were visiting Chronus! Without even taking me along!”
How did she- oh, Celestia you couldn’t resist telling Twilight?
“A-Actually, I was going to ask-“ I began but Twilight rounded on me, giving me a glare that could have destroyed worlds if glares had physical power.
“Don’t lie to me, don’t you dare lie to me right now”, she growled, her voice becoming suspiciously calm and collected as she spoke.
“I’m coming with you”, she declared, exiting the room. She didn’t even give me time to respond as she stalked out of the room and slammed shut the door. An annoyed nurse watched her leave as she reopened the door holding an I.V. bag in her telekinetic grip.
I sighed feeling like I’ve been run over by a car.
I gave Pseudo an apologetic look.
“By the way, have you met Twilight?” I laughed weakly.
Pseudo just looked back at me with the wide eyes she had on her face the whole brief, but unpleasant meeting that just happened.
“Uhm”, she started but stopped, getting a perplexed look on her face.
“Are all ponies this crazy?” she asked innocently and I couldn’t help letting a weak chuckle escape me.
“Only the ones I seem to meet”, I replied, sinking my head back onto the pillow. My head was throbbing again.
“Ugh, Pseudo, wake me up in a year”, I groaned, shutting my eyes. Pseudo gave an affirmative hum as she hopped onto my bed to sleep with me. I patted her on the back.
“Seems like our expedition crew has gotten a whole lot bigger”, I murmured, as I let sleep take me once again.
-----
The next few days, things got a lot better. The doctors were worried about a suspected spinal injury but after some prodding with improvised sticks (ponies were ordered by the princesses not to touch me) they concluded that it wasn’t likely. I didn’t want to stress the joint so I obediently stayed in bed until most of the pain faded away, giving a few tentative stretches to work out the kinks of being bed ridden for nearly a week.
Every time I suppressed a grimace of pain, Pseudo would give me a guilty look and I tried my hardest to wave away her concerns. Usually a pat on the head or a small hug would be enough to calm her down. She admitted that the only hugs she had ever gotten were from the drones back at the hive or her mother. Every hug I gave her apparently reminded her of the hive back home, so I was happy to continue giving her the support.
Now that Pseudo was more used to the environment of the Canterlot castle, she began to show an interest in the myriad of decorations and artwork that dotted the castle. She confessed that she was interested in pony architecture and artwork, having only seen changeling-style works of art. I walked behind her in a hunch as she would dash around babbling about how different the masterpieces at Canterlot were to the great changeling achievements at her hive.
We came across a Picasso-like painting, depicting sunflowers. It looked similar, yet different. Pseudo cocked her head, pointing to the flowers.
“I’ve never seen those types of flowers before”, Pseudo commented, giving me a questioning look. I shrugged.
“I don’t know what they’re called here, but back on my world they are called sunflowers”, I explained, leaning against a nearby pedestal for a vase, for support.
“Why are they called that?” Pseudo asked, confused. Her expression cleared.
“Oh right they do look a little like the sun, with the yellow petals and big circle.”
I chuckled.
“Close. I don’t know about this world, but on my world sunflowers followed the sun, angling their faces to the sun as it moved along the sky.”
Pseudo looked at me strangely, her hoof tapping the floor twice.
“You said it again.”
“Said what again?”
“’My world’. Aren’t you from this world?”
I smiled faintly.
“Not quite”, I responded sadly, feeling a pang of loneliness well up in my chest.
“Where I come from is from a far off place, farther than I can reach right now.”
Pseudo regarded me sadly, her expression turning melancholic.
“I hope you can get back”, she comforted me sweetly, giving my leg a rub.
I swallowed back an unexpected lump in my throat and rapidly blinked away a few tears.
Dang, I thought I was over this! I thought to myself angrily, dashing away the offending liquid in my eyes.
Pseudo frowned at me, nudging me with her hoof.
“A-Are you crying?” she queried timidly.
“N-No”, I replied, flicking away a few drops. “My eyes just feel like they’re on fire.”
“On fire?”
I nodded.
“The memories of the past burn, so my body is trying to drown it out with manly tears.”
“So you’re crying.”
“… No.”
She kicked me in the shin.
“Yes you are! Admit it!”
I threw up my hands.
“Okay, okay! I just remember a bit about home, that’s all and it made me tear up a bit, I’m fine. Don’t worry.”
Pseudo gave vent an annoyed breath.
“You keep telling everyone that but you never take the same advice yourself”, she huffed, starting down a side passage.
“And what is that?” I shot back a little irritated.
“That you’re ‘fine’ and ‘don’t worry’. When you say that it makes me more worried.”
I flung out a hand to bar her path.
“Pseudo, what do you mean?”
She growled something under her breath that I couldn’t understand.
“Think about it this way. If I was crying and suddenly tearing up, would you want to know what’s wrong with me?”
“Of course.”
“How about if I told you ‘don’t worry’ and ‘I’m fine’”, she added, sitting down and crossing her hooves in front of her.
I covered my face with my hands with shame.
“You’re right, of course. That was callous of me.”
“You’re right, it was”, she replied walking ahead of me.
“And I’m sorry!” I called back. Pseudo rounded back and gave me a small smile.
“Apology accepted. Next time, tell me what’s on your mind”, she warned, giving me a serious look. I nodded in affirmation.
“All right, Pseudo, all right”, I replied as she darted forward to inspect some other artworks.
She may be younger than me but she’s a heck of a lot more mature, I thought to myself sadly.
Here I was worrying about the future extinction of my race, when Pseudo here has already had those things happen. I clenched my fists.
I just have to help us both.
-----
I tried looking in my former room for my Synch, but I couldn’t find it. Perplexed, I belatedly started stripping my hospital clothes into my old ones. I turned around to find Pseudo staring at me curiously.
I blushed, feeling my cheeks flame up with an intense heat.
“Ah Pseudo, do you mind waiting outside?” I asked, covering my privates with both of my hands.
She didn’t seem to get it.
“Why?” she inquired, befuddled.
“Uhm, it’s a thing from my world. I need some privacy changing my clothes”, I responded. Pseudo gave me a strange look but trotted out, closing the door behind herself.
“Okay, I’ll be outside if you need me”, she called back timidly. Her flittered nervously, for some reason.
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was even holding as she went out of the room. Human or not, she was still a female. I wouldn’t even get changed in front of my dog. Judging eyes and all.
I searched for my old clothes but I couldn’t find them anywhere.
“What the?” I muttered to myself rooting around the drawers.
In one of the drawers were a note and a set of garments that suspiciously looked tailored for a human.
I read the note, noting the seal, which looked like it was a Royal Seal, given the depictions of the sun and moon. I broke the wax, reading the contents.
I realised it was all gobbledegook. Groaning, I had the choice to either don the new clothes or go back into the makeshift hospital gown.
I eyed the shower and called out to Pseudo.
“I’ll be a few minutes, Pseudo just going to take a quick shower!”
I heard Pseudo give me an okay and I quickly gathered the human-looking clothes and dashed into the ensuite. Quickly giving myself a wash down, I ran the water, which felt amazing, and rubbed away at any greasy spots. I spotted some equine shampoo or product and shrugged, using it. It didn’t seem to do any damage or sting or anything so I lathered it over my hair and rinsed it out as fast as I could.
Towelling myself off I looked at the curious garment. It was a ruffled shirt bearing the insignia of Celestia on the back and dark black pants with a dark (presumably made from something other than leather, it just felt like it) belt, with Luna’s insignia on the buckle.
Odd.
I donned the clothes, it felt a tad loose but the material was of excellent quality.
Satisfied, I buttoned up and whipped on the belt, feeling comfortable in proper clothes again. I called in Pseudo and she stood off the side, looking curiously at my new clothes.
“What do you think?” I grinned at her. She smiled warmly back at me.
“You look good. Strange, but good”, she replied honestly. I couldn’t help but chuckle. Yeah fashion was all about taste.
I remembered the letter.
“Hey Pseudo, I can’t read without my Synch, so can you help me out here?” I asked her.
Pseudo didn’t seem to mind, grabbing the letter with her telekinesis, which was the first time I saw it, it was also blue in hue.
She read it out as clearly as she could.
To our favourite resident human,
I snorted. More like your only one. Pseudo smiled at that.
Your clothes and your ‘Synch’ device are with us in the throne room. We thought you might want to come here first and gather your things, but it was important that you make your decision here, without us there to influence you.
For beings with amazing predicting powers they forgot I couldn’t read without the Synch.
Since we know that you cannot read without your Synch-
Gosh darn, they’re good.
-we thought it would be a worthwhile exercise for you to find a pony to help you read it out loud. However I am sure you will ask the changeling princess that always seems to follow you around.
Scratch that, they’re really good at this predicting stuff.
Please come and find us in the throne room at your earliest convenience. Show the guard this letter and they will pass you through.
I looked at Pseudo.
“So now we know where to go next”, I told her cheerfully. She beamed at me as we headed out the door.
Seems like things are starting to look up.
I really wish I could stop thinking like that.
Then I wouldn't get into half of the trouble.
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4976692
Do you mind if I try drawing her? I'm not the best artist, but...
Thats some deep chapter, you got the crying part very good.
4978320 Go ahead! I'd love to see it!
4978912
http://amber-flicker.tumblr.com/post/97103652404/
Welp. I tried.
4979979 Wow! That's very impressive! In a bout of amazing coincidence that's exactly the pose that I thought Pseudo was in when she first met the protagonist. I'm not an artist so I cannot give you pointers in critique but I can appreciate good art. That's a great drawing and I hope to see more from you in the future.
NB: Also, is that a pearl piercing on her right ear? If so, nice!
4978516 Thank you!
4980088 Vetted by the Princess of the Night herself.
4980117 Actually, that would be an amazing application of Zap Weather Berries. Hmm, I might even... Nope. Maybe.
Thanks for your comments!
Dude, first rule of multiple girlfriends: make sure they never find out about each other.