Synch

by sunnypack

17 - No Plan Survives First Contact with the Human - Part 1

I tossed the carrot head I was munching on into the bowl and it echoed with a soft clang. The meal was satisfying and I no longer felt hungry. I had been pleasantly surprised at how crisp and juicy the vegetables had felt in my mouth. It had tasted so good there was no comparison and it didn’t need dressings or preservatives or any kind of sodium rebalancing that plagued the modern conveniences of our food.

My parents were firm believers in fresh and organic produce, going so far as to have a small garden. Most other residents avoided gardens and especially dirt and soil like the plague. Bacteria, intestinal parasites, fungi, worms, viruses and whole list of pathogens ready to destroy your life existed in the ground. Awareness of health and disease prevention came at the cost of overbearing pharmaceuticals, but that was not a battle I had thought much about.

Though I had good fresh vegetables on our little organic farm, which tasted better than any store bought counterpart, none actually came close to the rich taste of the carrots and lettuce I had snacked on. It was just so amazing, I didn't know what to think.

I thought about exploring more of the castle but my stomach felt heavy so I just sat there, digesting.

Bored, I imagined one of the carrot heads actually growing eyes and bemoaning its pitiful existence. I laughed sadistically.

Why oh why was I born a carrot?

Bad karma, mate.

You’re cruel and heartless, you’re a monster.

No, dear carrot... I’m a predator.

Ahhhhhhh!

I suppose when you’re alone you start inventing things to keep you company. Before I had met Emilia, I never truly minded being alone and even then at least I had the constant heartbeat of humanity with me in the form of the Internet and later, the extranet. It was a profound kind of silence that pervaded my senses as I thought about how alone I was.

I mean sure it was only my second day here (as far as I could remember) and sure I had some feeling that at least someone had lived here... even if I did get the sense they were completely bonkers, or at the very least intensely bizarre but it wasn't the same.

The situation so far had left me clothed, fed and relatively sheltered. I suppose I could have been worse off and I tried not to dwell of the ‘what ifs’. For example, if I had woken up in a desert, or in frozen tundra or perhaps in the middle of the ocean. There were definitely far worse places than an abandoned castle.

I hadn’t given much thought as to a plan on explaining my continuing absence to Grooble or how I would continue my occult research on Synchrony. My fried brain put me somewhere between Monday and Tuesday but it could easily be any day of the week due to the infuriating gap in my memories.

I had sat on the triclinium pondering this when I heard a strange sound. It sounded as if a group of people were approaching but wearing pads around their shoes. At first I was optimistic, excited even, people! Around here! Take me back! I almost took a step out to greet them but an invisible hand clutched around my heart and tugged me back.

What if they weren’t friendly, would they take kindly to strangers who have broken into their home, eaten their food and slept in their beds? Though poorly maintained, private property was still private property. I had to use my head this time, there wasn’t any sense rushing into things like I would usually.

I considered my options, carefully weighing positives against negatives.

1. I could go out there and greet them. The risk was they could be hostile. They may not even be the owner(s) of the castle. They could be robbers or thieves of some kind. But the up side to this though, would be that were unlikely to kill me. I mean what would be the advantage of that? They could show me out, or if it were a kindly owner, they might give me some provisions, show me a map and let me be on my way. Or equally, he could have a loaded firearm or concealed weapon, perhaps a knife and accidentally or intentionally injure me.

2. I could avoid them and hide not bothering to make contact. I wouldn’t be discovered and eventually they might go away. The risks were minimal but there would be no pay off and I’d be stuck in the same situation as I was in before.

3. I could initially avoid them and hide, observing them. This seemed like the best choice and I found myself nodding as I thought about it. Good trade-off between benefits with a small amount of risk. I could be detected, which wouldn’t bode well. However, if they showed themselves to be friendly I could reveal myself and there would be little repercussions, or at least none that I could think of.

I decided to stick with plan number three. Spotting a small alcove, I wedged myself into a crevice, which covered my body in relation to the entrance. To my right, a drape hung in surprisingly good condition. It was obscuring my arm but I pulled it over to cover the rest of my frame. Anybody looking in my general direction would have to have eagle eyes to spot me, or at least recognise that there happened to be shoes poking out from beneath the curtain.

Satisfied, I waited, hoping that the people outside were going to visit this chamber, if they skipped past it, that would just be embarrassing.

-----

*GAAAAAAASP*

Twilight was in a catatonic shock of amazement. Books were everywhere. Books, books, BOOKS! Twilight jolted from stock-still to lightning fast. She flittered around the open roof library breathing in the musty smell of long-forgotten tomes.

Pinkie was equally excited and shared her sentiments, though she wasn’t with Twilight physically, she had found the Organ to the Outside and was playing it merrily. Around the castle, various functioning trap doors spun around and moved to the eclectic beat that Pinkie mashed up on the organ. She made sure to include two presses of the button that triggered the Fast Food Delivery System. She faced Twilight’s general direction and gave her a conspirator’s wink.

Too busy decoding ancient Equestrian, Twilight shuffled and levitated book after paperback after manuscript after document onto a rough wooden table. She grinned in a face-splitting display of utter heavenly happiness. The books were in perfect condition even left in the decrepit library for so long.

Twilight detected a number of bookkeeping spells, ranging from mildew and frost protection to anti-wear and tear. All of the spells were high class with the power source set in a small gem of high purity right in the centre of many of the hardcovers.

Twilight positively squealed in excitement, hugging a particularly rare tome on the standards of magical resistivity.

Magical Resonance and Applications! The Guide to Mastering Ley-Line Induced Spells! Equipedium on the Thaumic Properties of Dragon Blood!

All these rare and never-before seen books had been lying in this library for centuries… And Twilight Sparkle would be one of the first people to do so! This was fan-tas-tic!

-----

I had heard what sounded like a gasp of excitement. It sounded like someone had won the lottery or found out that they were in heaven. The scurrying of footsteps that accompanied the gasp confirmed my suspicions. Thumps echoed down into the chamber as I heard the sound of… piling books? Were these people serious? They were going to read here?

Apparently another group of people had the same idea and spoke out to the excited bibliophile.

“Hey Twilight!” I heard a high-pitched, girlish voice call out. She sounded insanely young, or insanely hyper. I couldn’t tell.

“What’cha doin’?” she continued, I heard a mature voice reply.

“Oh Pinkie. I was just doing some research, look at all these books!” Twilight exclaimed and I heard a clatter. Probably some books that fell over, no doubt the high pile that ‘Twilight’ had stacked.

I frowned, I had definitely heard more footsteps, and maybe the others were just silent people. Oh well, two out of four being young girls was still good and giving each other nicknames really brought down the risk level. I figured they weren’t owners of the castle or even the staff, obviously. The owner or the staff wouldn’t get this excited over their own belongings, would they?

-----

Princess Celestia entered Princess Luna’s room, finding her sister sleeping in her bed. She had entered quietly to make sure that her sibling did not wake up. Luna had a soft, barely perceptible breathing, which wouldn’t even qualify as Fluttershy’s snore. Cradled in her hoof was a small white tiger with midnight blue stripes, memorabilia that Luna simply refused to leave behind at the old castle, no matter how Celestia had protested.

“Ah the things you would do for that doll”, she chuckled softly. Luna had a small private grin plastered on her face, dreaming of things only the mistress of dreams could dream.

Celestia sighed softly, almost imperceptibly. She cast her thoughts back remembering the series of odd circumstances that had granted Luna that doll. It had been from far happier times and if not happier, blissful at least in their ignorance. It had been an amusing story for sure, but perhaps it would be something to be recanted (recantered?) later.

-----

“That sounds like a super duper idea, Twilight buuuuuuut I don’t think we have time for that”, Pinkie replied, sitting on her rump and pointing to the sun.

Twilight gauged the position.

“Only a couple hours left before sun-down and it’ll take some time to get back”, Twilight muttered. She felt conflicted, should she stay here tonight or go back home? It all depended on if she could find the journal that Celestia had mentioned and the original book she was tasked to seek out, Interdimensional Intricacies and Incidents – Insight into Imaginative, Innovative and Iconic Spells, of course written by Star Swirl.

Celestia mentioned that she had left the book here on the occasion that she had visited the castle last. Somehow she had forgotten to retrieve it when she left and was, since then, too busy to go and fetch it. Sending other ponies had been considered but Celestia would not risk anypony’s life just to retrieve a dusty old tome.

It seemed that now was an urgent time to fetch the book and Celestia mentioned that she had last remembered placing it fairly near the Secret Royal Chambers. She wondered what could keep the eternal Princess so busy.

-----

“You are up quite early, Lulu”, Celestia remarked as Luna trotted into the dining room and sat next to her at table. Celestia had been casually sipping tea. She smirked as she pretended to sip at the tea but then frowned when the maid responsible for pouring her tea merely twitched.

“If you keep doing that, dear Tia, of course they would ‘cotton on’ so to speak”, Luna commented, shooting an exasperated expression at Celestia. Celestia sighed, disappointed.

That dear sister of mine really does have a sadistic habit, she thought before ordering some pastries.

“Pastries, for breakfast?” Celestia said with surprise.

“Oh surely not, dear Tia. It is the time for dinner and I must simply have dessert”, Luna defended, putting an offended hoof on her chest.

“Without the main course?” Celestia pressed, peering with slitted eyes at Luna.

“I’m on a diet”, Luna retorted, then before she could take it back. “Something you have never heard of for sure.”

Celestia choked on her tea but Luna was faster and had teleported out of the room in an instant.

The servant bearing Luna’s pastries yelped in surprise as the solar diarch ferociously consumed Luna’s treats.

Wait. Celestia thought, her suspicions aroused. The sweets were sweeter than normal.

She heard the disconcerting sound of wings beating. The beats were almost silent as a whisper, as if the flyer had trained in the art of stalking through the night. Her suspicions crystallised as she confirmed that the cheeky alicorn of her sister had indeed teleported but not out of the room. She looked up to see Luna grinning wildly and holding a sign, which read:

Extra sugar and cream for your Royal Highness.

Luna teleported, this time for real.

Celestia’s expression contorted into equal parts flummox and pure murderous rage.

Around the castle, nobles, petitioners, ambassadors and guards heard the distraught yell of the Princess of the Sun.

“LUNAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Luna sat on the roof of her tower and chuckled.

“T’was worth every second!” she giggled, holding her sides in pain.

-----

Twilight shook her head. They must be important princess duties.

“Twilight”, Pinkie called, shaking Twilight out of her thoughts. She pointed a hoof at an entranceway between two bookshelves.

“What’s that?” she asked, clearly enthusiastic at the prospect of visiting the Secret Royal Chambers.

“It shouldn’t be open that’s what. Maybe the Organ triggered the entrance?” Twilight mused as she trotted past the tilted chair.

“Wow, this is simply amazing, the Royal Chambers are really something even after all these years”, Twilight pronounced, as she observed the stain glass windows and the royal drapes.

“Yuperoonie!” Pinkie Pie replied, bouncing around in the small chamber.

They both froze when a gigantic sneeze echoed violently around the small room. It was then Twilight noticed that on the floor was a bowl filled with leftover vegetables.

They were not alone.

-----

I heard the mumbling and muttering of the approaching people. I couldn’t sneak a peek as there were no gaps or holes in the curtain and peering over it would be completely obvious. I heard the strange conversation that sprouted around them.

Apparently, this used to be a royal castle. Which was strange since there were no castle or even royalty in my country, unless you counted visits from royalty from time to time. Where the heck was I? It hit me, why didn’t I realise it before? The vegetation and forestry surrounding the castle were definitely not native to my country. Of course I wasn’t in my country, it was so blaringly clear when I thought about it.

But how did I end up here? Away from everybody else? So many questions pounded within the confines of my head, aching for answers. I swallowed, which sounded excessively loud to me. Fortunately the participants on the other side of the curtain didn’t hear me. Unfortunately dust crept into my nose making my eyes water and brought the inevitable onset of a sneeze.

To be fair I struggled bravely to stop the sneeze from blurting out, but I could only do so much before the inevitable came. Holding my nose, counting to ten, rubbing furiously at my nose and pinching the cartilage did nothing to alleviate the rising reflex. If anything, trying to hold it in was only making it worse.

I was never so unhappy to be proven right.

A thunderous boom that was my sneeze roared around the room in an Earth-shattering announcement of my presence. I face-palmed and almost cursed, but refrained from doing so, just barely. Sighing, I knew the jig was up and I waited behind the curtain for the inevitable reveal.

I don’t know what I expected. Angry hands, expressions ranging from scared to surprised to sympathetic or something. Instead of that, my expectations took a massive nosedive into a hot flaming lava river and melted away as a deep pink glow enveloped the curtain and it was whisked away.

I found myself staring at… I don’t even know what.

One of the creatures was a deep purple, like lavender. Her mane was streaked with varying shades of dark navy to dark purple, with pink highlights. Speaking of pink, the other creature was a fuzzy pink mess, with her poofy mane a hot pink, whilst the rest of her was a light pink. They both stared at me with deep lilac and sky blue eyes coupled with shocked expressions respectively.

I stood there gaping at them as well. We stood, facing each other for a comically long moment. The silence was starting to turn awkward.

“So… you don’t happen to know who Twilight and Pinkie are... Do you?” I asked, not knowing why I asked.

The purple one answered hesitantly.

“T-that w-would be me, I’m Twilight”, she replied, still in shock. Oh God, they talk.

The pink one recovered exceedingly fast bouncing up to my face and introducing herself.

“I’m Pinkie Pie! How do you know our names? Where are you from? What are you? Why were you hiding in that curtain? Do you like parties?” she quick-fired out of her… muzzle.

“I- err nerk”, I answered unintelligibly. I glanced at Twilight she still had the same look, I knew that feeling, and I was feeling it right now.

“I’m real and I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be around here”, I answered, starting to creep to the archway framing the entrance/exit. Twilight snapped out of it and marched, or rather trotted in front of me, blocking my exit.

“Hoooooooold it right there, mister!” she barked, holding her hoof out. I guess that pose was similar to how a human would hold out their hand in a classic stop sign. I paused, not really willing to pick a fight with sapient beings that I was no doubt the first contact for humans. I wasn’t even the best example human had to offer. What was mission control thinking? I apologised to the small space my current rational part of the brain resided in. My thoughts were hysterical and scrambled beyond reason. Pfft.

“Well I never!” I replied affecting an offended tone. “I’m offended that you would call me a mister.”

Twilight was mollified, “I’m sorry! Uh, ma’am?”

I took the opportunity to try and squeeze past her but she side-hoofed neatly to prevent me from reaching the door.

“Oh come on!” I growled, frowning.

Pinkie, the excitable one was babbling about a party or something so I just ignored her, she seemed harmless. The lavender one with, oh my, a horn on her head (was she supposed to be a unicorn?) seemed like a tougher obstacle.

Twilight’s eyes hardened.

“You’re going to give us some answers right now and they better be honest!” she yapped, which would be intimidating if I didn’t already stand at about double her height.

I backed up against the triclinium as Twilight advanced upon me. I felt around for anything I could use as a weapon or at least as a distraction. My fingers found something hard and I instantly recognised it.

“Trade!” I shouted suddenly and Twilight paused uncertainly.

“What?” she queried confused.

“This”, I said holding out the book. “For my freedom.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up.

“Yes, yes, yes! Deal”, she said, grabbing the book out of my hands with her mouth. Before she could regret her decision I slipped out of the chamber.

Outside I tried to force my heart to stop beating like a maddened DJ at a techno club.

“Now what?” I muttered, rubbing my forehead.

Author's Note:

Phew! That was an exceptionally long chapter with some nice interplay of characters. I've always seen Luna as the playful one in the sister dynamic but I also see Celestia up to no good too, from time to time. I think in an exchange the sisters would have equal opportunities for ribbing, though Luna should count her blessings as the younger sister to have the upper hand, just this once. To clarify, the exchange that happened between Celestia and Luna happened before the last chapter, so it in a sense a prequel to that chapter. I enjoyed writing this dialogue exchange immensely and you get to see why Celestia was so mad at Luna.

About the exchange between Twilight, Pinkie and our main character, I'm sorry to say that there was more Twilight than Pinkie dialogue, but only for this moment. Pinkie will inevitably have a field day when they venture out of the castle.

Twilight may be distracted momentarily but she will not give up her curiosity, our main character's not getting way that fast.

Next chapter will be a continuation of this chapter, phew!

As always, thanks for reading!

Comments

[nighters]

will there be hilarious chase music?????

[Cavalorn]

Wow, this story sure have fresh feeling. Innovative even.

[ArcaneVisions]

pinky's always really hard to write as a party maniac it's hard to make her serious while still being true to her character.

[dyedquartz]

Nothing, NOTHING! Beats a good ol' book