- Member Since 30th Aug, 2013
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Crystal Moose
Brony(eeds) a coffee... http://ko-fi.com/crystalmoose
Crystal Moose
Joined 30th Aug, 2013 ·
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Well . . . dayum. That was chilling. But, I really gotta question Celestia's motives here, and more importantly, WHY she did what she did in the fashion she did. Twilight needs him? What for, exactly? Is it because of something greater, that she is never happy with him gone? Or is it because Celestia needs him to be subservient and under control because she fears for insubordination under her rule in her kingdom?
It seems so . . . odd for Celestia to be so upfront, offensive, and more than all cruel in bringing Spike back not only once but MANY times. At least, that's what I assume she meant by "you always come here."
And you know, I truly can't say much about this story because nothing is truly wrong with it, but nor is anything here exceptional. It's a simply solid story, with good writing and an interesting plot with a few unexplained points. And even then, I believe that suspension of disbelief is intentional because it's meant to make us think about this.
Either way, you did a good job here. Keep it up!
4768917
Thanks man.
Absolutely my intention.
I left a lot of the rest of it vague, though I did drop a lot of hints about slavery at the start of the story, so at least in my mind that is why.
I did try and write more solid (and explicit) reasoning into the story, but it got too wordy and expositiony, and I felt it detracted from the story.
I had hoped the end was a twist from what people were expecting, in that Spike was the victim, rather than the potential bad guy, what with his slowly becoming more and more draconic throughout the story.
Hmm. You did a good job keeping this one from me. I question Celestia a bit here, too. I also wonder if she altered his memory or he agreed to telling another story. Or did I miss something...?
4769602
Altered memory. Hmm, might have to make that a little more clear.
Also the reason you didn't know about this one was it has been all in my head until today. Idea was abandoned long ago, but had the writing bug today.
Wow, that ending was... depressing. I can take it just by
that this wasn't the first time Spike has done this.
The vibe I'm getting is that Celestia is basically suppressing Spike's primal dragon instincts seemingly just for Twilight's sake. Why? Well, I suppose that's up to interpretation, but no matter the reason, Spike is getting the short end of the stick.
A short, nice and twistedly dark story, mate, nicely done. Also, nice to see your works again, hope family life is treating you well.
I kinda have to wonder what this would mean for the Dragon Migration episode. If Celestia is willing to go this far when he's kicking back in Whitetail Woods, I'd hate to think what she might have done when he was close to actually joining the Dragons.
Heck, this would raise all sorts of things about Spike into question, his attraction to Rarity, his "Noble Dragon Code, how much of Spike is actually Spike? And is anypony save Celestia in on this crap?
Jeez... This just left me depressed...
Gods. This is screaming sequel. What happens when the brainwash wares off. Because Twilight may do this again.
Wait!
How many times has Celestia and Spike danced this dance?
The questions?!
Great Story!
4768934 I wish you had added taht bit. I dn't mind wordy and lenghty explanations.
I loved this story and my bet is that Celestia brainwashed him. It would be nice if you gave a definite answer, thou. This whole "leave the rest to the audience to figure it out" can backfire when things are TOO open (kinda like this story) and it feels incomplete.
Wait.... what just happened?
Someone please explain.
I like this. I like this a lot. I was waiting for the dark tag to come into effect and boy did it. Holy crap this piece was good. You my friend have got yourself a favorite and a like.
4770233
Spike's forced into servitude. Celestia stops him every time he goes and tries to escape and promptly returns him with his memory erased and new feelings in place instead.
So he leaves for a bit, Celestia erases his memory and replaces them with new ones, and gives him back to Twilight. Why?
And that, my friend, is the right question.
...chilling. How far will this Celestia go to maintaining the illusion she has built up?
“You always come back here, Spike.”
And he'll probably still keep going there after he gets fed up again, and the cycle will continue until spike is no longer useful to Celestia's plans or until the day he dies. After all Spike's will and conviction in Twilight has never been shaken in the show from what I've seen but how much of that is Spike? Is Spike even truly himself? This reminds me of the Stanley Parable so much in that the choices Spike makes for himself really have no purpose except for the ones the story has intended. Celestia controls Spike's destiny and should he stray too far from the path she has set for him (like he always does eventually) Celestia sets him back on the right path and Twilight and friends don't question it at all, because that's how its always been, as far as they can remember...
static4.gamespot.com/uploads/screen_kubrick/398/3983642/2345035-stanley_parable.jpg Rate this 8/10.
4769683
Yeah, that is pretty much the gist of it. In my mind it was with freedom he found his more primal/draconic instincts, without someone around to nag/guilt him into suppressing them.
Not that you can blame Twilight, really, as within a herbivore society, a carnivore or omnivore diet would seem very barbaric.
Family life is treating me well, the bug is now 7 weeks old and going through the colic stage, so NO SLEEP FOR US!
4769744
Those are great questions, exactly the kind of ones I had hoped this story might provoke
Another question that I realised last night, well after posting this… how much of this actually happened?
4770277
Glad to hear that, I was worried readers would think it was a "soft" dark tag, or that it might not warrant the dark tag. I mean, it's not grimdark… but yeah.
4770893
You know, I still haven't gotten around to playing the Stanley Parable. But yeah, Celestia will probably keep doing it until Twilight can take care of herself.
Pretty fucked up, buuut, pretty darn good.
4771868 No it really works for me because it's subtly dark. Grimdark is fine but this is great on a different level.
We need to get Spike out of there!
Viva La Resistance!
4771868
I'm sorry but is the reason for the dark tag is that Celest & Twi manipulate him (Spike) ? Celest altering his memories and such ?
4775241
Celestia is the one manipulating him. Twilight is unaware of the manipulation.
4777052 Why did she do that ?
4777113
That there is pretty much up to the readers interpretation or speculation.
I have my own personal ideas of why, but I won't be sharing them, as I'd love to hear readers ideas on why without my answer tainting them.
Another important question to ask at the end of this is whether or not Celestia regrets what she's doing to Spike. Probably not, because if she were keeping him around for a good enough reason, she would trust him to agree with it.
damn that's fucked up, i really want this to backfire in Celestia's face big time, maybe Spike will develop a resistance to mind magic and force Twi to see his 'true' memories or something
4781455 Personally I see it more as Celestia doing it as much for Spike's sake as her own. Spike was obviously growing more and more draconian in this thinking. Eating squirrels, calming land as his own, and flat out attacking Celestia. She most likely did it so Spike wouldn't end up becoming a mindless monster.
in other words, spike's a slave and every now and then Celestia has to go and not only find him fending for himself and enjoying his freedom, but alter his being and his memories, just to keep him as a subservient pet that takes orders from Twilight... at least that's what I can gather from what little information there is here...
and having said that, I liked just about every part up until Celestia started fighting with Spike, everything after it was not what I wanted to read... with the exception of the possible alternative version where he's reasoned into going back...
there are so many 'Spike gets fed up and runs away' fics out there that it should more or less have it's own tag. That being said you managed to make this one unlike any other while not being completely out of character for anyone. After all, isn't the sanity of the mare who saves the world time and time again worth the life of one small dragon?
movieboozer.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/hansel_beer2.png
In all honesty though it was a pretty cool story.
sequel?
6122300
Unlikely, as I am not really writing pony stuff anymore, and this story is one of the least likely to get a sequel, as there isn't much else to say that wouldn't detract from the ending as it is.
6123867 dang I was hoping for the body and mind never forgets even with magic he retain experience and despite spike been emotionally and physically stunted unhealthy but he could still react to a situation that would have twilight and others wary surprise or spike instinct keep kicking up and act dragon with no guidance celestia does the same magic over and over again and realize it a mistake it not a permanent solution and looks for a nicer solution that involves ponies treat spike better or he snap and break in body and spirit.
You better make a Sequel where he gets revenge, frigging jackass.
am I the only one who wants to see celestia get what she deserves after all that
7042407
Lol, no, you would not be the first one to want that. Maybe I need to finish that sequel.
Oh please do
Finally a great fic in which I can see the methods used by Celestia to maintain "peace", especially to maintain a carnivore being under control of a hervibore society.
And that crap about Spike's day only serves to reinforce the obvious reality: he is and will always be a #1 slave for the pony society.
"You can't blame me for things that are up to you!" Spike yelled at Twilight, a little angry at the things he was being unjustly accused of.
"..." She just looked at him silently while frowning "..." She closed her eyes and turned away from him as she spoke. "You know something, Spike?... Sometimes I think about that day, about that test when I was a filly, and I say to myself, 'Hopefully, a turtle came out of that egg and not a lizard, maybe it would have been faster ".
"......" He frowns. "Say that again..."
Twilight turned and looked at Spike with a frown. "A... DAMN... TURTLE... AND NOT... A LIZARD!" I yell at his face.
"..." Spike didn't say anything for a few seconds, but then he closed his eyes with a frown, turned and walked out the door as he walked away from her.
Twilight looked at that confused, but then yelled at her again. "WHAT?!, YOU WANT TO LEAVE?!, GOOD!, GO! WHO NEEDS YOU, YOU USELIZARD?!" I yell at him from the door. "WHAT THE HELL WILL YOU DO?!, HUH!?, BUILD YOUR OWN LIFE? WILL YOU MAKE A SMALL HOUSE UNDER A BRIDGE WITH TWO BRANCHES?!, YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO!, YOU'RE 13 DAMN YEARS OLD! MY! YOU ARE TOTALLY USELESS WITHOUT ME! YOU COULDN'T EVEN BE BORN IF IT WASN'T FOR ME!" With his hoof, he grabbed the door handle. "TOMORROW YOU'LL Crawl Back ASKING FOR HELP! YOU'LL SEE IT!" He slammed the door shut.