Spike's always come up short on his luck with mares. All that's about to change. Probably not for the better. Oh, and there is that whole thing with the Changeling capitulation deal, which is unlikely to affect Spike. Nope, not at all.
Primary Cast: Spike, Pleiades (she's back, baby!)
Secondary Cast: Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Chrysalis, and more.
Set about ten years after the end of Season 4.
Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, where very little past season 4 will be referenced, and the changeling changes with Thorax and friends are retconned to hell!
Update: Dark tag added for some of the humor.
Chapters (4)
I’m starting to get flashbacks of this story.
Buy me some whiskey so I can use it as brain bleach after what you just did.
Dude, that was a pretty damn good opening. Sex, comedy and light feels! All the things I love in a Spike story! Keep it up, looking forward to more!
Haven't lost your touch, that's for sure!
Do add to a few groups.
Hello, Moosey, our old friend! We're here to read with you again
9160958
I love that story though.
Rarity is gonna be beating her head on the wall when she figures out what Spike is royalty wise. Lmao
9161141
Blargh, groups... I forgot about that whole thing... I should probably do that, hey.
9161185
No pun for the returning moose? I am hurt, Phyco.
9161848
A lot’s changed since last we spoke, Moosey. The worst of it?
I’ve lost my mojo.
9162052
Noooooooooooooooo! Well, I dedicate the bad pun in chapter 2 to you, my mojoless friend.
I'm sure you'll know it when you see it.
Woo, go Spike!
... waaaaitaminute, I know this set up! They’re trying to get him to lower his guard so they can marinate him in a giant pot and have a delicious and healthy breakfast!
Or, no, that... no, that’s from Piranha Women of the Avocado Jungle of Death....
9162069
Is that the latest Daring Do fanfic?
9162091
Oh no, my friend. It is even more magical than friendship.
Shipping wars... well, what can you do? If your writing pleases you, then go ahead and do it.
For my part, I don't really hate Sparity, but I do greatly dislike it for a number of reasons. I hope that means I'll like this story.
9161370
9160958
Bit of a shame its sequel kinda just stopped.
... Didn't Spike mention in the previous chapter that Shining Armor and Cadence had divorced? Or was that just a temporary thing?
9162567
Separated, though I might have forgotten to mention that it was temporary. Will have to go back and check that.
Why do I get the feeling Rarity got married to some stallion.
9162650
in the last couple months, every single story invloving the royal couple has had them divorced, and never for any discernable reason. I don't get it, are they an unpopular couple?
9163005
Shining Armor is in the way of shipping Cadance with Spike/the pony OC/the human OC. That's pretty much it. Authors need Cadance for the harem fantasies, and her being married would make adding her problematic, so they have her divorced to avoid any issues.
Well... didn't expect Yona to be there...
2nd place goes to:
9163131
Oh god, that is so fucking true! Hahaha. How dare canon relationships get in the way of our ships? Lol.
Also, in this case, it was a throw-away gag that I forgot about in less than a chapter, oops. Had to fix it to trial separation from divorce when someone pointed it out.
9164452
Where you get that pict for your fic ?
... What the **** did I just read? I understood all the words, followed all the sentences, but somehow the result I get to always feels wrong somehow. Well, I suppose 'wrong' isn't the correct word. I suppose 'disturbing' is a better description.
This is fun! Don't stop. I'm having the time of my life.
9164675
From here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/26553347/
Its source is linked on the picture.
9164373
I only just noticed this... and had to google it... no, he did NOT waffle stomp anything down the drain. It was an alluding to him jacking off. He washed himself off in the shower because if he had jizzed in the tub, he'd probably have jizz on him when he gets out.
Though I guess I can see why you thought that, given his affect on the dragon-proof toilet.
It's a bride!!!
Well, called it!
Spike, you have just been sold out!
"Bitches! 
These story just keeps getting better and better!
9164765
Thanks :) I appreciate it
lmao
Oh hey! A Spike x Cadence story!
Aaand it starts off with the typical Rarity uses Spike trope....
https://derpibooru.org/1834982?q=spike
I like this one already. Anti-Rarispike from the start and everything. Even better. That one seemed forced and too easy.
Great chapter, totally understand about the wait. C.S. is kicking my ass too.
Let me guess: Either A) Spike got hammered and had a drunken rant, B) Flurry Heart decided to repeat everything she heard in public, or C) Pinkie Pie (once again) couldn't keep her Celestia-damned mouth shut.
Ok, that last line was pure gold!
Its actually interesting seeing how yours and Level Dahsers humor is quite similar (been keeping up with DaD, love it to bits). You both literally have the perfect timing and recall!
Man, I wish I could be helping you with editing this so I could get first looks.
9183005
That's because he's still a 'consulting co-author' for DaD and I like his humor as much as you do.
And just FYI, still working on DaD, just going reeeeal slow.
OH man I love the way it ended, it was a great way for it to go. I am SOOOO betting Flurry has a thing for Spike. I mean her mother lets be honest is a mess, Shinning is a SAINT for being married to her. Yea she seem like a great lay but everything else just seem like it would drive you crazy. I think the girls might also have words with Twilight for hiding this from Spike, and them, for so long. I really REALLY hope you don't shit on Rarity and make it NOW that he is a prince she want to be all over him. Even if he didn't like it she WAS right, yea she did a shit job of making sure he understood where they stood yea. But he isn't OWED her heart even if she does find him attractive. Let her be what she has been to him for years right now... a friend.
Loved this chapter!
Especially Flurry and Cadance.
Great job!
I don't get it... what about Luna?
And someone needs to fire that headliner.
9183005
Thanks for the compliments... and yeah, as 9183020 mentioned... I still consult on a lot of DaD, so I throw some jokes and that to LD every now and then. Honestly, he censors most of it, because our sense of humors are pretty different, but complimentary. I love the wacky-zany stuff, which is pretty much why this story lacks Level Dashers... well... level-headedness.
9183094
Nah, definitely no Flurry Heart thing... plus she's like 10 years old or something... 10? Or did I say 11? I dunno. Anyway, Spike is no Celestia, so Flurry is safe. On the whole thing with Rarity, some of that is going to be explored, but in this story, I am pretty much ramping up all of the characters worst traits (or fan-perceived worst traits) and ramping them up to 11, yah know, same age as Flurry Heart. I am not sure how exactly the Rarity storyline will go yet, as I wrote a lot of the brainstorm, like, in 2014, so a lot of stuff has changed, and I might find a funnier direction to take her.
9183500
Lol, yeah, I probably should be fired... but I wrote that at... fuck, what was it? 2:00am? I was trying to finish it before I went to bed, so there wouldn't be another week or more wait as I fuck around with assignments. Chapter barely even got the once over, let alone the "browse back through previous chapters to make sure I've kept the storyline somewhat consistent" (see the Cadence/Shining divorce fuck up in Chapter 1 & 2)
9182963
You know, I was thinking of going into that, but then I thought... it's funnier if it isn't known. Knowing how it got out, to me, isn't as funny as less than 24 hours later, the secret is out and Celestia's "dirty little secret" is out. I'll be going into the fallout in later chapters. Also, writing that bit in was a complete spur of the moment thing. I write a lot of lines spur of the moment, but then drop them because they affect the flow of the story. Fuck, the flow of the story is chaotic enough as it is.
9182906
Haha, yeah man, I hate Rarispike, so any where I am too lazy to actually contrive some reason for them not being together... I kill her off. See: Daughter and Dragon. Lol. It was easier to just say "eh, fans will accept it, but she's dead, so I don't have to write it."
And now, back to fucking gardening. It's spring over here, and the flowers are fucking my nostrils. Fuck flowers, man, fuck em!
9183020
Haha no worries my man! Its well worth the wait!
Ah, that ending scene had me busting out laughing.
Hooooly shit. This is something special.
i.giphy.com/media/5xtDartpELLnXKkhytW/200w.webp
Ayy lmao
I want to fav this so bad i was dying laughin this falls perfectly in my range of humor but ill read next chap then fav
Ahem.
Yes.
I don't have the words to tell you how much I enjoyed this... so I'll use numbers, 9/10 because perfection is an unattainable goal that drives the weak to madness.
Friends... With benefits
Twilight should add this to the lessons...
.. and yeah I thought that things are fireproof... And yet he still got BURNED!