Wow. I don't know what to say here, so i'll just leave this here. a song that i feel would be appropriate at this point.

6738059

Heh, I suppose it would be appropriate. Did you enjoy it then, or is this you telling me I went too edgy?

6738448 No, no! this chapter was great, don't get me wrong!
I'm just saying that he/she needs to let go of what can't be helped. to... put the past behind him/her. there are some things that happen in life that one can't help. When all you can hope for (sometimes the best you can hope for!) is that you get over it and move on. That may sound harsh, even callous, but it's true!

Was not disappointed. I love these kinds of chapters

6750608

Dude, look.

I HATE this story. I have a whole blog dedicated to just how I feel about it. I at one point had canceled this story all together and was trying to move on with better works, but the thing is this, there WERE in fact people that wanted to see it finished. I actually got people messaging me to ask why I had stopped. And in truth I felt bad for just giving up. So the even through looking back I really wish I could change it, It is what it is and I'm happy I was able to get it done at last. Don't think I don't see it's glaring problems.

If I could I would just delete it all together and start from scratch, but I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to those who have come to genuinely enjoy it, so all I could do was try to finish as strongly as I could and move forward.

I think even you will be happy to know that I'm going to be making a sequel, but not before I have it properly planed out, know where I want to go with it, and makes sure every word counts. With it I hope to plug up a lot of the holes in this one and get to a much better point.

A little insight to how this story even came to be. I was reading Aren't We Lovely by Sharkrags. It inspired me with the idea of "What if this was a bigger story?". If you want to cal this anything then call it a story of passion. It's the first flame of the spark to write I had growing in me, and now no matter how much I hate having made it the way I did, I can still look back at it as a teaching tool. Of seeing just how far I've come.

In short I agree with you on a lot of these points, but would highly recommend you look at my other work to see that I can write with some level of competency.

Or maybe you'll just hate them too. It's a free internet, just thought I'd try.

6761008
As it seems the first 3 chapters has been revised, as the title suggest. So the author fixed it.
You replied to a ghost of the past...

6761177 I like doing it to see what I get. I laugh at grammar mistakes like ounce instead of once. I get humor c;

Cant wait to read more of your work.

Wait, this is complete? Uh, I don't think so mate.

6802701

All right, all your comments are to be answered here

1.Eh, I thought it could have been done better, honestly the meaning behind the inner dialogue changed heavily by the end of the story leading to things i said near the beginning of the story not making that much sense.

2. I would really like to encourage you to read the blog linked at the end of the last chapter, it will explain a few things.

3. OH MY GOD. I promise you upon the holyness of God, Luna, Buddha, Celestia, and all the Okami that I had just as little idea what I was saying as he was! I now believe it is the most clever and raunchy line I have ever written and feel ASHAMED that I wasn't doing it on purpose.

4. I'd be glad to let you if you're really so willing, but mind you I'm not available very often do to my awkward work schedule. I'd let you have more and less complete control for editing though.

5. Yeah it is, again I'd really recommend reading the blog but in short this story NEEDED to end for now, not be be put in hiatus or re-edited, but put to bed ll together. A sequel will come, but not for a while. I mean a LONG while. This story was my training ground with endless mistakes. That is has received the positive attention that it has still humbles me, because this isn't just a case of an artist hating their work because it was their's, but for every lesson I learned while writing I would see how many times I messed it up on the way there. The sequel contrast will be the culmination of all those lessons, a story with everything planned out in a solid narrative that I won't constantly rework like I had with this one.

Over all thank you for the positive words and the eagerness to see more, I'm glad that despite my feeling people still enjoy the work.

6802786 Don't worry, this is a surprisingly good tale. It's like a rough diamond. I can see the story, and what you were going for behind the infrequent grammatical mistakes and awkward wording, but I don't hate the story for it. I look forward to a sequel, my friend. (also I'm gonna take a look at that blog)

there are a lot of tiny typos in story but thats all. 70/100 most points off because of the ending.

6862570

What's wrong with it specifically?

6863419 the ending was gagged. felt like a chapter end and unfinished

Nov 2014 (Part 1)
Dec 2015 (Part 2)

Sequel intensifies with Megalovania

Sequel!!!! Why is there no Sequel?!?!?!

7588801

Cus it's a bad story.

7588938

It isn't! It have much potential. Just the end was bad. It's like you just cut the story.

7589067

I'd love a sequel to this story.

When did I read 2 chapters?

7588938
Squeal please

You know, I must say. Great story. A lot of things untouched such as meeting the main six, but the character was great for world-building, and maybe even long-term storytelling.

I really LOVED this story!! I actually really wanna see more of this. I felt really connected to Ryan/Craft during the whole story, and got attached to her struggles. I cried at the sad parts, and really would like to see Craft and Luna actually become good friends. I understand how you feel about this... How long it took you to develop this story. If/when you decide to pick it up again, please let me know. I would love to help proof it or to bounce ideas off of.

9857577
I would consider the mane 6 as a cheap scape for word development. Relying on them so much just leads to a boring story similar to what you’ve seen countless times. The minor interaction with them in this story was done just fine in my option.

10532731
fair point

More

This story amuses and intrigues me because in some ways it is both good and bad in roughly equal parts. I feel like there's some really fun ideas here, but it just didn't grow right. It is missing pieces, what is there is half the time executed on badly. But I still want to keep reading more.