"I almost died. I didn't though. I got turned into a mare. It hurt a lot but I didn't die. Thats a lot better than what most people who get a shard of metal through their spine can say."
Not a bad story, but you really need to check better for errors, or try to get someone to proofread the chapters if you can. I don't get why this story has so many negative votes...
4845439 Thanks, I try my best on my own. I can't get anyone to proofread it right now but I am trying my best to re-read each chapter as many times as I can before publishing them. As for the down votes it's likely they think the story is to rushed. I think it may be as well but I can only do so much editing before I move on to a new chapter. For now all I can do is write the best I can and improve with practice. Again thanks for the read and vote of confidence.
I never understand that reaction... He made the rational choice, become a pony or die and was OK with being a pony. But being female is a problem? He's fine giving up his species but rather die than become female. I've seen that in may fics and it's stupid every time.
4881799 Its more out of shock then anything. He was able to prepare himself for being a pony, but he nor anyone else had a clue he would become a girl. In the next chapter you'll see that he learns to cope pretty fast. Plus imagine going g in for a kidney transplant and getting sexchange you wernt told about. I hope your enjoying the story otherwise.
4884501 It's more like I would go through an procedure that will most likely kill me and if it works turn me into a dog. If I wake up after that one I would be glad that I am still alive and not give a shit about my gender at all. You spend pretty much an whole chapter on the fact that it is incredibly risky and he will probably die but instead of being glad that he survives he freaks out because he change gender.
That's not to say I don't like the story. I'm a big fan of gender bender and there far too few here but this one is a sticking point for me. Freaking out is okay when the gender swap happened under more common situations, like Ranma falling into a spring. After an change in species where everyone expected you to die? Not so much.
In the end I just skimmed through the freakout anyway so maybe I shouldn't complain so much...
4884628 While I suggest you read that part your fine. While I personly want to write the story on my own I still like reading peoples comments and improving my work. I think it works as it is but its my opion and could be worng. I just want the story to make people happy. If your enjoying it otherwise then I think its good. but still, thank you for reading!
"Luna, I came to see what was keeping you. Is something the matter?"
Luna smiled at her.
"Nothing of concern sister, I was just comforting her until she was able to rest."
Celestia walked over to stand next to Luna, wearing a sly smile the whole time.
"It seems you really have become fast friends with this one Lulu, could perhaps something about her have captured your interest?"
Luna's face burst into color at the prospect.
"CELESTIA!"
"Ah ah, don't wake her now."
Luna let out a small "EEP!", Celestia covering her mouth with a hoof to hold back laughter.
Oh, Trollestia, never ever change!
Incidentally,
"Ahem, anyway. That you would suggest that I would fall head over hooves for somepony that I just met, one who I was simply giving generosity too. Hmph"
Internet rule 14: don't argue with trolls. It means that they win.
Hmm, sorry, but this is getting a downvote solely on the fact that the grammar is so terrible that about 10% of the sentences aren't even understandable, except maybe from context. I'd like to know what happens next, but the grammar is making it painful to read, and the dialogue doesn't sound realistic.
"Right, but before you go can I ask one last question."
“Can you put a silencing spell on the area atound me? I really would rather ponies not be affected by my horrible screaming as my body is forcibly ripped apart and put back together a different way. It doesn’t seem very... pleasant.”
"If it takes longer to be friends then I will enjoy spending it to become yours. And I will gladly spend that time helping you when you have become one of my little ponies."
Not a bad story, but you really need to check better for errors, or try to get someone to proofread the chapters if you can.
I don't get why this story has so many negative votes...
4845439 Thanks, I try my best on my own. I can't get anyone to proofread it right now but I am trying my best to re-read each chapter as many times as I can before publishing them. As for the down votes it's likely they think the story is to rushed. I think it may be as well but I can only do so much editing before I move on to a new chapter. For now all I can do is write the best I can and improve with practice. Again thanks for the read and vote of confidence.
4861716 yes they are, I would have used italics but I plan to use them for something else later.
4866694
okay
Sorry for not responding till now
4874171 All's cool. Just hope you enjoying the story so far.
4875160
Ill say if I spot any more screw-ups
4875703 Screw-ups?
4875767
Spelling errors, grammer screw-up, ect.
I never understand that reaction...
He made the rational choice, become a pony or die and was OK with being a pony. But being female is a problem?
He's fine giving up his species but rather die than become female. I've seen that in may fics and it's stupid every time.
4881799 Its more out of shock then anything. He was able to prepare himself for being a pony, but he nor anyone else had a clue he would become a girl. In the next chapter you'll see that he learns to cope pretty fast. Plus imagine going g in for a kidney transplant and getting sexchange you wernt told about. I hope your enjoying the story otherwise.
4884501
It's more like I would go through an procedure that will most likely kill me and if it works turn me into a dog. If I wake up after that one I would be glad that I am still alive and not give a shit about my gender at all.
You spend pretty much an whole chapter on the fact that it is incredibly risky and he will probably die but instead of being glad that he survives he freaks out because he change gender.
That's not to say I don't like the story. I'm a big fan of gender bender and there far too few here but this one is a sticking point for me. Freaking out is okay when the gender swap happened under more common situations, like Ranma falling into a spring. After an change in species where everyone expected you to die? Not so much.
In the end I just skimmed through the freakout anyway so maybe I shouldn't complain so much...
4884628 While I suggest you read that part your fine. While I personly want to write the story on my own I still like reading peoples comments and improving my work. I think it works as it is but its my opion and could be worng. I just want the story to make people happy. If your enjoying it otherwise then I think its good. but still, thank you for reading!
Oh, Trollestia, never ever change!
Incidentally,
Internet rule 14: don't argue with trolls. It means that they win.
Hmm, sorry, but this is getting a downvote solely on the fact that the grammar is so terrible that about 10% of the sentences aren't even understandable, except maybe from context. I'd like to know what happens next, but the grammar is making it painful to read, and the dialogue doesn't sound realistic.
“Can you put a silencing spell on the area atound me? I really would rather ponies not be affected by my horrible screaming as my body is forcibly ripped apart and put back together a different way. It doesn’t seem very... pleasant.”
Ha! She said it!