"I almost died. I didn't though. I got turned into a mare. It hurt a lot but I didn't die. Thats a lot better than what most people who get a shard of metal through their spine can say."
Numerous, numerous typos, you should get some prereaders to alleviate the problem.
On this chapter though, not much to say as not much happened plotwise. That maid seems to be having a bad day...I look forward to any potential shenanigans that may or may not happen.
5239640 I have a proofreader now, CanisLoopis. Unfortunately with Christmas coming their getting swamped at work. It would have taken at least another two weeks to get the chapter out, so I made the decision to release it as is and fix what I could afterwards. I promise as things go on I'll get better at this thing. As for not much happening in the chapter, well that's just gonna happen from time to time. I needed to get some smaller details established before I could go to the next big thing, so there for this chapter.
I see Art is experiencing the wonderful world of vaginal discharge in the tub.
Art sounds more like a guy's name than Ryan. No really.
ENTER NAME: Flighty Broad
I have to say you've thought through accomodations in Canterlot Castle very thoroughly. Woah, I just used thought through and thoroughly in the same sentence. Ain't English great?
It seems to me ponies write with their mouths, or magic. It's generally an oddity in fics when a human gone pony writes or draws with their hoof. Makes sense really as ponies have a lot more fine motor control in their neck and lips than their hooves. Nothing serious, just something I noticed.
I'd really like to just go through and correct all the typoes... I got tired of doing that though from so many stories with them in there. Plus English is such a horrible language it's hard to say correct grammar isn't worse than typoes with a straight face.
This is one of the more pleasant stories on my list. I love the amount of life you've pumped into the background ponies! ...that came out wrong
5260713 Big comment here, get your seat belt ready. I'll go in order.
If you can call what she felt afterwards joy.
I don't know how well I've shown it, but I want her to be a bit of a tomboy. Not anywhere near Ranbow Dash or AppleJack levels but still a bit of one.
I thought that if I was going to make Craft, and there for the readers, stay there so long that it would be a good idea to have a lot ready for her to explore and discover. In all truth I've been tempted to make up some stupid reason for her to tour the castle so I could describe it. And you're telling me! I needed a speeach theripist as a kid and I GREW UP with the stuff. That's why I've got a proof reader now. Though thier getting swamped at thier real life work at the moment. X-mas, the all consumer. Kinda like the smooze.
It's just a prefence thing. Most ponies do use thier mouth, Craft just feels more comfortable with useing her hooves.
Again, got a proof reader now thats really busy. I'm trying my best on my own untl the Christmas craze is over.
the small teats she had were a whole other thing all together.
It paused about halfway to its target as Craft had to let some tension drain before she went on.
As delicately as possible she felt around it, pausing when ever she felt too much pleasure.
She got out of the warm embrace of the tubs water and let the chilly air bite at her damp fur and skin.
not one hair out of place.
that wouldn't sound insane Swift took initiative.
perfectly fine and won't run into any guards."
Fucking journalists.
The way the news has been betraying me has not made me the most trusting of the media as of late, but honestly, I just really hate seeing people-I mean ponies, sad.
Edit 8/30/2023:
If she was reporting a crime scene she would leave me with one of her friends at the the office."
My mom worked at the Canterlot Collective, a really big news company that's only second to Equestria Daily."
Swift got up off the bed, stretched out out her wings, and gathered her stuff before turning a warm smile to Craft.
Privets should be spelt Privates and Barley should be Barely
Numerous, numerous typos, you should get some prereaders to alleviate the problem.
On this chapter though, not much to say as not much happened plotwise. That maid seems to be having a bad day...I look forward to any potential shenanigans that may or may not happen.
5239640 I have a proofreader now, CanisLoopis. Unfortunately with Christmas coming their getting swamped at work. It would have taken at least another two weeks to get the chapter out, so I made the decision to release it as is and fix what I could afterwards. I promise as things go on I'll get better at this thing. As for not much happening in the chapter, well that's just gonna happen from time to time. I needed to get some smaller details established before I could go to the next big thing, so there for this chapter.
That's two questions.
I see Art is experiencing the wonderful world of vaginal discharge in the tub.
Art sounds more like a guy's name than Ryan. No really.
ENTER NAME:
Flighty BroadI have to say you've thought through accomodations in Canterlot Castle very thoroughly. Woah, I just used thought through and thoroughly in the same sentence. Ain't English great?
It seems to me ponies write with their mouths, or magic. It's generally an oddity in fics when a human gone pony writes or draws with their hoof. Makes sense really as ponies have a lot more fine motor control in their neck and lips than their hooves. Nothing serious, just something I noticed.
I'd really like to just go through and correct all the typoes... I got tired of doing that though from so many stories with them in there. Plus English is such a horrible language it's hard to say correct grammar isn't worse than typoes with a straight face.
This is one of the more pleasant stories on my list. I love the amount of life you've pumped into the background ponies! ...that came out wrong
5260713 Big comment here, get your seat belt ready. I'll go in order.
If you can call what she felt afterwards joy.
I don't know how well I've shown it, but I want her to be a bit of a tomboy. Not anywhere near Ranbow Dash or AppleJack levels but still a bit of one.
I thought that if I was going to make Craft, and there for the readers, stay there so long that it would be a good idea to have a lot ready for her to explore and discover. In all truth I've been tempted to make up some stupid reason for her to tour the castle so I could describe it. And you're telling me! I needed a speeach theripist as a kid and I GREW UP with the stuff. That's why I've got a proof reader now. Though thier getting swamped at thier real life work at the moment. X-mas, the all consumer. Kinda like the smooze.
It's just a prefence thing. Most ponies do use thier mouth, Craft just feels more comfortable with useing her hooves.
Again, got a proof reader now thats really busy. I'm trying my best on my own untl the Christmas craze is over.
THANK YOU!!!
It's still gray. Black and white are shades of achromatic gray. You lighten colors by adding white to them. Adding white to black makes gray.
Fucking journalists.
Edit 8/30/2023: