Rainbow Dash's Last Chance

by BubbleyBathTub

Impaired Princesses

Celestia rested a hoof over her most faithful student's shoulder. It was just the begining of a very eventful night. Already their royal carriage had gotten some attention from the humble (ish) citizens of Manehatten, and already they were attracting attention. They turned heads as they crossed the street, their glowing manes and silken wings shining bright in the glowing moon above.

"Humble citizen, shall you show us to the nearest watering hole?" Luna asked gracefully of a passing stallion.

He bowed before Luna before answering. "Uh, yes. There is one just down the street and to the left, it's called... uh, Diamond Hearts, or something..." He trailed off. He flashed a quick smile and went on his way down the paved street.

"I see your private lessons have paid off my dear sister." Celestia acknowledged happily.

"As the face of Equestria, us princesses must always act with certain dignity and poise."

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The glass mug with the table with a thud, the contents emptied into the seemingly bottomless pit known as Luna's stomach. "You call this a drink?" She hollered at the bartender, idly polishing a glass. "I drank stronger cider on the MOON!" She bellowed, taking an audible breath of air before continuing. "There isn't any bars on the moon though... Pity. That would have taken the edge out of a thousand year banishment!" She turned to Celestia, frowning.

"Celestia, what is with Luna?" Twilight asked, obviously putting Celestia between Luna and herself. She was idly sipping a fancy drink that was sent to her by the stallion beside her. Of course when he noticed she was an alicorn he let up on all attempts to woo her. She still took the drink though.

"Luna is a mean drunk." Celestia sighed as her sister, once again, emptied another round of cider. "She can hold her liqiour, but she cannot stop. She once drank fifteen sea stallions under the table. In a row."

"What is this? Your serving me water!" Luna cried out. "Water! I could disintrigrate you if I wanted! Look!" She turned and lifted a stool to the counter and pointed her horn at the base. She closed her eyes, and clenched her teeth. Twilight looked concerned from the sidelines as Luna produced only sputters and sparks of light from her horn.

"Just a second." She licked her upper lip and focused, squinting at the stool in obvious frustration. "Wait, I can get this."

Celestia sighed, and slammed several bits on the counter. "Thank you for your hospitality." The bartender nodded, and Celestia dragged Luna out by her tail with her magic.

"Place sucked any ways. Kept serving me water." Luna mumbled from behind, her light blue horseshoes scratching on the pavement as Celestia dragged her.

"Twilight you know any good places here?"

"Well, only one princess. Just an underground club my best friend Rarity showed me..." Twilight said with a smile.

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Loud dubstep music was bumping and whipping in the background, a loud dance floor full of ponies. Luna was among them, a small gathering of ponies watching as she drunkenly breakdanced on the floor. They cheers her on, even after she almost puked on somepony's shoes. She was cool though, after Luna apologised. It seemed everypony was having a good time, except Celestia.

She sat at the end of the bar, twirling the straw in the bars signature drink, Head Explosion. She seemed content to watch her sister make a fool of herself the entire night.

"Celestia, whatss are yoou evenn doing heree?" Twilight slightly slurred. "Come on." Twilight grabbed the Princess in her hooves. Celestia sighed, abandoning her full drink.

They were in the middle of the crowd of moving ponies. It was a sea, a tornado of dancing, as pegasi flew overhead, bumping into each other. Twilight danced wildly, almost impaling several ponies with her horn. Celestia apologized, and eventually everypony stood back, in a circle to watch the princesses dance.

"They want to watch thee! Celestia, dance!" Luna encouraged from above. Celestia uncomfortably stood there, trying to stay out of the way of their swinging hooves.

Luna flew off for a moment, bringing back a pair of bright green glasses. "Here, drink this." Celestia sighed, grabbing the neon drink in her grasp, and gave it a taste. Delicious, it was so good she downed the whole thing in one gulp.

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"We are the champions, my friends!!!" The three ponies shouted, gathering onlookers from everywhere. They were more or less on the side walk, forehooves in a hug, as they walked / crawled down the street.

"Chochocho bum" Cried Luna, intent on covering what seemed to be the drum part of the song.

"And weee'll keeep on fighting! Till the end.."

"Bum bum bum..."

"We are the champions, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!"

"No time for losers!" Screamed Twilight.

"We are the champions." Gathered an unwelcome voice. "Didn't expect to see the princesses drunk on Manehatten Way."

"You didn't?" Luna teased.

Sombra replied with a roll of the eyes. "You know if I wanted to, I could take over equestria right now."

"No you don't!" Luna lighted up her horn, gathering an amount of sparks and sputters. "Wait, just a second."

"I learned my lesson with the Crystal Empire. I want to help you," Sombra replied in a convincing tone.

"We aren't falling for your tricks, Sombra." Twilight spat.

"Oh really?"

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"You know what is worst about Crystal ponies?!?" Sombra shouted, slightly slurred. "They blind you. Sunny, beautiful day, and bam. Everything is like staring into the sun."

"But they are sooo preety..." Twilight cried. "They are just like a buunch of diiamond, shiining in the skyyyy..."

"No, they suck... All their stupid love, and happiness. It's digusting!" Sombra took another swig of his drink.

"But it'ss so sweeet. They looove each oother!" Twilight burst into tears, her head resting on the dirty bar. "I wish I wass a crystall poony..."

Celestia sighed, taking a sip of her drink.

"What are you doing here?" A particular foalsitter hollered.

"Oh crap, it's Cadance! Hide!" Luna shouted, immediately ducking under a table.

The slowest of the group at the moment, Twilight was grabbed by Cadance's magic, helpless.

"Are you drunk?" Cadance asked Twilight, who could only reply with a nod.

"That's it! Everypony with me." Cadance declared.

"Even me?" Sombra asked.

Cadance looked horrified. "No! Just, turn back to dust or whatever."

"Okay..."

And that is how the party that lasted two full days ended. It was a wild ride, with barely any sleeping, and a hangover that was recorded in history. Mostly because Celestia was so hungover she slept through an entire day cycle, and was recorded as the first time in some decades that Celestia forgot to raise the sun. Needless to say, school foals everwhere were delighted at missing an entire day of school.

Author's Note:

Years later the day became tradition, always ending with Cadance crashing the party. Soon the day became hide-and-seek for the princesses, and for everypony else, "nail your things to the floor day" because the darkness brought heightened levels of crime.

(Sorry for lateness)