I skipped work just to finish reading this story. Worth it.

Hey, you did it! Nice job. I feel like I may have had a bit of a contribution to the story, and I'm very flattered by that thought. So I'll thank you for that! It's always a nice day to be chuffed over something.
The last chapter brings to mind something I saw in The Nostalgia Critic's swan song. Near the end of the story (spoilers, folks) he went through a standard-issue cosmic mindscrew and met his real-life actor and writer. Faced with the "reality" of being a fictional character, he asked his creator if his free will was just an illusion after all. And the writer, Doug, basically said that, while that may have been true in the past, as he wrote the Critic and got used to him he began to take on a life of his own. Doug couldn't just have the character do what he wanted anymore because something was guiding him, informing him in turn, because what he was writing had grown into more than just words on paper. Like all good works of fiction, The Critic had taken on a life of his own, a voice which the author had to be true to. This was summarized in the climax during the following exchange:

"You're the writer, tell me what to do!"
"You're the character, you tell me what to do!"

Sugar Cane represents the author who resists the obligation he has to his creations (or rather source material, in the case of documentaries and historical fiction, which I suppose was more his perspective since it was his own world he was messing with), the "Hack" who works to satisfy an audience rather than what's organic to the setting and the characters. Twilight is the muse crying out in indignation against this... "false fiction," I guess you could call it.
But that's certainly not the case with you, Dragon! I can tell you felt this story from beginning to end, and, like I said, I'm very glad if I could have contributed to your process in any way. You really saw it through. Congratulations. If there's one thing better than reading a scary story, it's reading a story where you're scared because you care about what's in it.

Something else comes to mind, actually (man, I'm verbose)... a line from Blueshift's The Star in Yellow, another pony story and homage to great horror writers. As Celestia puts it, "the real world doesn’t have happy endings, because nothing ever ends."
I always thought that statement evoked a delightful sense of despair being trumped with hope and rationality. Maybe that's why Cane's masters were born from the mouth of madness. Giving in to darkness is, in its own way, as irrational and simplistic as anything we tend to see in the "Sugar Bowl." I guess that's what makes "Friendship is Magic" such a wonderful fandom... it's in the bowl, sure, but the characters grow so real that they can look out from over the rim.
And of course there's always that flipside again, to remind us that darkness and corruption comes with anything taken too far in either direction. Newborn Cuties, man. Newborn Cuties...
Y'know, I'm gonna shut up now. I've been scared enough today.

Ending was close to how my first prediction was.

I've enjoyed every word and sentence from this story. Good job! Say, any word on what your next story might be? IF you'll write another one

I absolutely love this story. I came for The Thing crossover, and I stayed for SOME MUCH MORE. You are a true writer and I think you can go pro. Also, and this has been wrecking my brain for months since this story started, would you allow a full-length animated feature based on this story complete with amateur voice actors and stuff?

Bravo!! Amazing story! The way you associated it with such a debatable topic was really entertaining, especially due to the writer/character duality. Really do hope to see your future endeavors!

First off, for the lot of you, did a little reflection and feedback journal: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/78266

1462569
Well, technically the final chapters had already been written for a while (I finished up the final three at about the same time, I was just waiting to post). But you did motivate me to get a move on, since you were pretty on the money for what I was going for, ending-wise. You actually have some very interesting interpretations of Cane and who he is/what he's doing, which I love. I wrote with a somewhat different view in mind, but I like what you're thinking. You analyze good, you do (and verbose is excellent! Always go the verbose route, it's much more enjoyable to read). Even when it's analyzing dark and crazy

1463753
That's definitely a use of that term I don't see often, and I'm glad to have seen it here.

1464232
Yeah, once the ball started rolling in Chapter 10, there were only so many outcomes. Luckily, I feel the execution is what matters most, rather than going for surprise for the sake of surprise (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). I am still interested to hear the other way things you thought things might've turned out, too.

1464377
Thank you very much! I definitely want to write more, I just need to think of something worthwhile to write first.

1465317
I aim to please, or at least bury in words to the point where you can't tell pleasure from fatigue. And I think that would be awesome! I mean, I expect any writer would, but I'm the sort who generally deals better with visual mediums over words. Had I the talent (or just a dump truck full of money), I probably would've seen about having this whole thing drawn as a comic rather than a straight written story. Would've at least cleared some of my more cluttered descriptions up.

Point is, yeah, anyone's welcome to do whatever with this little story

1465811
And I thank you for reading! Nothing beats a story that at least gives you something to think about. Always a better option than one that just kills a little time (among other things).

Of course Fluttershy can space out her nightmares! That's simultaneously endearing, horrible, and hilarious.

Fiction Burn? PFFT

There used to be a place called Spellbinders in my town. Comic shop. Had all kinds of used video games and roleplaying equipment, too. Used to be in a building that gave me the heebie-jeebies. Moved around a whole bunch, so that I lost track of it. Pretty sure it's gone now. Huh.

"beyond the Equestria's boundaries"? Also there's a "Back in" that I think is supposed to be "Back then".

OH WOW I HAVE HAD THIS VERY SAME IDEA, with everyone living in their own universe.

Aw fuck, I knew she was gonna step through a door right as the story ended. You are horrible!

Man, this has been such a ride. And all I can think to ask is, if i saw John Carpenter's The Thing, how much of this would come through? XD Thanks for crafting such a memorable story, Relaxing Dragon! I'm glad to have touched a part of it.

1473911

It's been a trip, no doubt. Took things to some dark places, then came back for the technically-happy ending (long term mental effects aside). I gotta say dude, I've loved pretty much each and every one of your comments about it. Your thoughts are always interesting (although in regards to the pony band pun in Chapter 9... no regrets, sir. No regrets), and the spelling and grammar mistakes you catch something of a godsend. In the event I write something else soon, I do hope it's read and enjoyed with just as much enthusiasm.

And yeah, it had to end that way as she walked out the door. How else could it? At least she and the rest of the world are okay out there... hopefully

As for the movie... well, my best advice there is to just go watch all three films, and then think back. At the very least, a whole lotta lines I used will seem considerably familiar (particularly Twilight's last, pre-Epilogue). Plus, due to how I ended things, I don't think I've spoiled the ending of any of said movies. So it should work out all the better for you as you sit back and enjoy three of the greatest horror flicks ever made

1474595
What are the other two, out of curiosity?

See, I only know the Thing from The Thing From Another World, the classic movie. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

1475160

No they don't, and I'm actually glad you know of it. Not enough do. It's some solid golden age sci-fi.

The fic in total is based off three movies by John Carpenter. First is The Thing, of course. Then there's Prince of Darkness, and finally In the Mouth of Madness. These are the ones that get a lot more "out there" in terms of concept, particularly the third one, which is where all the Lovecraft and meta tones come from (that movie is basically the best Lovecraft movie ever made that's not technically about Lovecraft). The three of them together make The Apocalypse Trilogy; they're unconnected by plot or characters, but similar in theme.

They shouldn't be difficult to find, either. Prince of Darkness you can actually watch right here, right now.

1475234
Many thanks, both for the info and for the story. :)

1479447

And good on him for that! Things have definitely come a loooooong way since you reviewed the first chapter on /fic/

1467157
I'd be happy to share what my predictions for the outcome were on that blog you spoke of a while back.

1475234 Ah, yes, "The Thing From Another World". I recall there was a Tom Baker episode of Doctor Who that used the idea of an alien plant creature found frozen in the Arctic. The difference being that this one was a parasite and consumed almost anything it came in contact with. I cannot help but wonder if Carpenter knew of that episode and took it one step further.

I'm never concerned with reality, what is and isn't and so forth. I am rather convinced by force of evidence that the universe goes on as it does whether or not anything is alive within it.

Of course, if it becomes boring, I'll just change it.

1482604

Have at it!

1484229

It's theoretically possible, but has never been mentioned in any of the background info I've read up on. Carpenter's version was just considerably closer to the short story Who Goes There? from the 1930s. That one has all the location and transforming alien qualities found in the 1982 film. It's much more an adaptation of that than it is a remake of Hawks' film, as a matter of fact, given how different said 1950s film was (and they only took that direction when they realized they didn't really have the tech to bring the shape-shifting side of the story to life).

As for reality, I'm the sort who feels what happens happens, or more specifically it happens to happen only because it didn't happen any other way

1486056

Fair enough

Aw, I loved that high-minded epilogue. This is a great little story you've created here. A bit gruesome and depressing in places, but that's to be expected. But you got the ending right. :)

Holy crap, that was an awesome story. Seriously.

Instant fav!

1504813

I've admitted elsewhere I should've handled the In the Mouth of Madness transition better, but that Lovecraftian stuff goes somewhere, I assure you!

Ditto Pinkie's vagueness. But then, the others were annoyed by that as well.

Alright! Dublio and PresentPerfect have both recommended your story, and considering I really liked The Thing, I thought I'd go ahead and check it out!

The next thing I knew, it was 6 AM and I've burned through your story in a single evening. That is not a thing I do often.

So where do I even begin? I'm not familiar with the other two movies, so I'll start with The Thing portion, which was pretty damn spot on. The liquid felt perhaps even more threatening than the Thing did at the start and you've handled the needed atmosphere and gruesomeness extremely well. I really did feel like this was a good crossover, with many great moments of suspense. From finding Copper to revealing AJ infected, I went "OH SHIT" far more often than I usually do in stories. I had predictions, but only a few of them came true and I really enjoyed how unpredictable it was. The buildups were great and I think you're really good at setting up atmospheres, whether it's a scary or an amusing one. Also, really loved the actual references, though I wish Rainbow ended up using the pressure washer.

Then there's the shift. I'll admit, I really like Lovecraftian themes, although actually reading his work can be quite difficult sometimes. I do think the buildup to that could have been a little better, because hinging a lot of it on Pinkie and her infatuation with the books did feel a little out of place throughout. On the other hand, once it kicked off, I really did feel that things began to escalate rapidly. No longer was the liquid the biggest issue and the scenes of that arc were equally exciting and heartbreaking. Spotlights include Apple Bloom and Rainbow, Rainbow's Escape and Fluttershy's Stare.

And then we move into the final third, where things really go deep down south. The chaos, the utter destruction and weirdness were shown very well. Everything felt unnatural and creepy, but there was also something to root for, more and more. The way you never let Twilight give up, gave this fic such a momentum, that it didn't let me stop reading. Very hard thing to do, in my opinion. Bits I really loved were Ponyville and the dragon. Sugar Cane's appearence was shocking and yet, considering everything that happened, it made perfect sense. Every little moment, where I felt like a character was acting weirdly, suddenly got an explanation. The part where Twilight tried to rewrite everything as a dream...oh god, that was one of the best moments for me, both for how happy it seemed and how creepy it became.

The ending is both triumphant and a bit scary. Everything is restored, yet there's that horrible lingering dread that it could all be released again, at any moment. Still, I can't help, but feel hopeful, especially after how much Twilight went through to achieve all this.

I've rambled on far longer than I should have, but I just really wanted you to know that this had been a great trip. It's been some time since I've enjoyed a story this much and had me this excited for every single chapter. So yeah, you're awesome, your story is awesome and I'm damn happy to have listened to the recommendations. Thank you for writing this.

1520669

I thank you very much for the binge reading and kind words!

As much as it warms my heart to see so many fans of The Thing around here, I really do wonder sometimes what fans of the other two movies (they exist, I know they do!) think of things. At the very least stuff like the green liquid (straight outta Prince of Darkness) and Sugar Cane (straight outta In the Mouth of Madness) would make a lot more sense. Or make me seem a lot less clever. Hard to say really.

The bits about characters acting weirdly (or, especially acting out of character) being attributed to Cane's writing is actually an especially interesting point to me. Because, on the one hand, that was the idea, and also a bit of a safety net for me. Anything gets weird in the early chapters by accident, then suddenly I've got Cane doing his thing and it's like I did it all on purpose. Of course, on the other, I really did try to avoid OOC moments as much as possible, so some stuff may have just happened do to a flaw on my part. All well and good on a story like this, but for future works of mine that will have no such easy answer, I've got to work on that.

Anywho, maybe I'm just nitpicking myself. I do that a lot. Point is, I again thank you for reading and liking it so much. And do check out those other two movies if you get the chance! They're some of the best horror movies out there, and I always encourage as many people as possible to check them out (I've even linked to the complete Prince of Darkness on YouTube in a few prior comments, so you could start watching that one right now).

1521287

I think the problem is that I'm not too well-versed in older horror movies, nor am I completely sure these movies ever made it to Hungary. Nonetheless, I've found the link you've posted, so in the next few days I'll make an attempt at catching up!

The only bit I picked up on was that there was one point where Rainbow very quickly and suddenly shifted from knowing about Copper and trusting Twi, to being the most vocal about not trusting her. It was odd at first, but then again, I don't pretend like I know how ponies behave under stress and you could easily say that Cane just needed to introduce a someone to oppose Twi, after AJ stopped doing so. Really, Twilight and Rainbow were the ones who truly shined in this fic, I believe, though I can't say you neglected any of them. The key thing is that they felt like living, breathing creatures, who weren't just blindly following the plot(well, maybe except when they were following Pinkie XD).

But I digress. Talk later, movie now!

1521592

I hope you like them! It's a big, wide, movie-filled world out there, and the more watched the better

Dash's opinion shift was something I tried to stay careful with. She does indeed start on Twilight's side, but then the idea was for her to shift over to neutral and then opposition as the stress of the situation rose. Her alone with Sweetie Belle was a tipping point, basically. Even at the end I didn't want her to be totally against everyone else, just considerably less trustworthy (which naturally goes at odds with her loyalty, hence all the internal conflict).

1527844

I'm sorry you felt this way, but I do understand. As I've related time and time again, the decision to go that way was probably going to lose some folks. Such is what is required when mashing three movies together for a crossover instead of sticking to one.

That said, I'm still glad you enjoyed the first 3/5s as much as you did

This story was... great.

It was such a wonderful way to go meta, and best of all it worked. You're right, you know, about the happy endings bit. Twilight won because, well, that's MLP. If they don't win and Elder Gods eat everything, then it's just not an MLP story... in the end, those monstrosities didn't stand a chance, but who cares? Like Twilight said, the end doesn't matter so much as how you get there, and this was a heck of a ride, no matter how sappy the ending.

It now ranks as a story that has, indeed, inspired me in my own writing. Congratulations sir. I look forward to whatever your mind can think up next.

Visualizing everything while reading the latest 5 chapter made everything so much more epic.
Some parts were confusing, indeed, but I reckon it was supposed to be like that.

Really enjoyed reading this, I hope to see more of this sort of work in the future.

Bravo!

>10/10, would read again

So Twilight exits into the world, never knowing for certain if it's real or a fabrication. Despite the positive message about not fretting, neither she nor the reader can be sure that her world is real in the sense that counts, that her friends are truly alive, that they're safe and happy in their own realities, that everything they just went through meant anything at all.

I'll admit, I'm no connoisseur of horror fiction (my favorites are Aliens, Zombieland, and the Scream movies); my preference would've been for Twilight to figure out that ancient magic that kills the monster and brings everyone back to life, but with their memories intact so their experiences still affect the end. Perhaps they're all in separate realities as you suggested, but I was waiting for everything to be settled in the reality they started in. The high-concept meta developments in this story, in my opinion, pretty much made all previous drama moot. If you ask me, this end belongs in another fanfic. I can see it had a great deal of meaning to you and other readers, but for me this was a beautiful horror/suspense story until it shifted.

I can easily imagine all eleven characters out in the snow, no base camp, temple or monster, their own deaths and final interactions still fresh in their memories. Apple Bloom's reaction to Dash, Rarity's heart melting for Spike and Sweetie Belle, etc. Guess I just prefer more solid, certain endings, especially when I really care about the characters. It's the unresolved aftermath of everyone's death. They went through so much, but if without any lasting effects on the characters who suffered, it's like they never happened, which makes the reality Twilight is in feel fake. That's what gets me and makes the end feel unresolved.

1636521

Well, I'd prefer the word "ambiguity" to "unresolved", but that's just me.

Seriously though, I do see where you're coming from, especially in regards to all the other characters. Any kind of reset button ending is tricky, for pretty much the reasons you listed. However, at the end of it all, this was Twilight's story, and I wanted to have her be the one who stayed affected by it come the conclusion. She still has to deal with all those lasting effects, now combined with the fact that she's only sorta home, not really "truly" home.

I was tempted for a while to start up on a sequel fic where she decides she can't take it and tries to go and find the "real" home reality, see about getting everything back to normal. But I honestly like how I left things, even if I ended up in quite a twisted and unconventional place at where I ended compared to where I started.

I'll get to reading this eventually, but that's not why I'm here. I ask for permission to use the cover art for my own The Thing story.

I was sold at The Thing... Now to get to reading!

.. was reading this during my lunch break for the past week now XD

I really liked the story but I honestly found it hard to finish... no completely sure why, it just wasn't as.. uhh... hmm... wasn't as interesting as the rest of the story and as such I skimmed and read chunks that did spark interest.

At least it ended happily ;)

1973327

It's an ending that goes all sorts of strange places, and is pretty detached from the first chunk of the story. You're not the only person I've lost there.

Still, I hope you enjoyed what you read

1973696

I did enjoy the story otherwise, yes ;)

Could you tell me where you got the cover image from? I would like to feature this story on my own site.

1977581

Well that's very flattering, thank you! You'll have to pass a link along when you do so

As for the pic, that was a commission for me drawn by Sophie Cabra, though she didn't upload it to any of her accounts as far as I can tell. She should be easy enough to get in contact with about it, though.

1979484

Oh I know that artist, well not in a familiar sense, but I know of her works. Thank you very much, and I'll be sure to send you a link soon.

This was a fantastic read, you captured the characters really well!

The only piece of criticism I have is about the gory scenes. I am not sure what exactly it was about them but something just wasn't right. I think perhaps you were a little heavy handed or maybe rushed it a bit but I didn't 'feel' those parts. By that I mean I should have been terrified for the characters, but in reality those scenes took me out of the story a little. It just didn't quite fit.

I myself am not a fic writer and am not trying to pretend like I am, so you can take that criticism or leave it :)

Everything else was perfect though, and what I like most about your style is your pacing, it is second to none

so you sir get / 5

2042005

Well thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Pulling 5 Dashies even with quibbles seems pretty good to me

On the gore, that was something of a tricky subject for me to get down properly (not just because of my general inexperience in writing such a topic). The effects from The Thing are pretty much legendary (although the film isn't actually gory at all, just grotesque. Fine line difference to some, but a difference all the same), and I think I wanted more to have them be something shocking for what they were on their own, on top of how the characters reacted to them. How that worked out seems to be vary from reader to reader, of course.

Lets be honest, reading a story that upfront claims is a cross over of John carpenters remake of "The thing", we all knew was going to push our boohoo buttons. It did leave me with some thoughts and feelings.

I kinda saw a lot of it coming as I tried figuring out who was taking who's role from the 1982 remake's roles. As you faithfully followed the parallels to the point that it was very easy to picture. AJ's Head... LAWL. Adding the CMC to the cast of victims kinda push me ina direction I wasnt comfortable going. As per the fandoms hate-boner, Scootaloo dies first., Sweetie Belles moment did catch me off guard as I was waiting for AJ or Pinkie to split their head open and eat somepony, and with Apple Bloom, I kinda felt sick when I realized why dash was guilt tripping and had to reread the part of her thermiting AB. Poor foal.. The sudden switch around in story approach at the end kinda threw the pace of the story mainly because it felt like you were at a conflict with yourself on wether or not to risk a happy ending despite all the terrible horror that was brought up in the story. Perhaps you could hear the trapped Apple Blooms screaming as she burned alive in your mind and needed to find a way to keep it from "happening."
I did enjoy the tangent universe approach. How Donnie Darko of you. It did tidy up some loose ends and brought a different depth to the story. In a early Stephen King-esque manner. Early on it was great to ponder in a mystery novel like manner to figure out who was an imposter/imitation. I figured AJ from the start and maybe Pinkie pie from how it was written early on. The many analog between the 82 film with the infamous defibrillator scene involving Dr Cooper and Norris as per Sweetie Belle and Rarity. And then this was revisited later by analoging two other moments with Rarity converting after trying to get away. Or discovering the burned remains of Copper being related to finding the Norweigion campsites crispy monster left in the snow. It was entertaining to read and I kinda felt proud of myself of making it through this story without the want or need to compare it with shock-fics like cupcakes or Rainbow Factory. Thank you for taking the time to write this out. I'm glad I was finally able to read it and to do so in its entirety. The movie terrifies me still to this day and the prequal to the remake wasn't too bad either! For a crossover this story did itself great justice.

2129894

Well, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. A few remarks on your comments:

It's interesting, while there were a number of plot points I wanted to hit from that movie (as well as the other two), I wasn't concentrating too hard on making any characters here fill the roles of ones there. It was just a matter of what worked best for their personalities over the course of the story.

And Scootaloo is actually my favorite CMC. I <3 her, and taking her out early was simply a practical decision. It was much easier to splinter the group by keeping the siblings together. If one of them had gone instead of her, it would've tipped the scales too early in favor of one side.

Since In the Mouth of Madness is a cross between a Lovecraft homage and a King homage, I'm happy to hear I got his side down (folks have been calling the Lovecraft side for a while now). And in general I'm glad you liked it as it did, and even made you ponder a bit. The Thing is one of my all-time favorites, and I wanted to make a story that earned the right to be related to it. I like to think I succeeded, at least a little bit.

Wow...that was quite a head trip. Very good story though.

Now I need to actually go and watch those movies.

Upu definitely have read the dark tower series have you?. Great story man. I like hoe u mixed lovecraft and king together. I think there was a short story in nightmares and dream scrapes that reminds me of sugar cane. I looking forward to the next chapter of the many deaths of rainbow dash
100/100

2240422

Interestingly enough, I've never read the Dark Tower series (in fact, the only King book I've ever read is The Shining). I pretty much stuck close to ideas from the three movies, then took off on my own tangent at the end.

Glad you liked it all the same!

Hoooey... I started reading this expecting an average The Thing crossover, with a depressing and unsatisfying ending. I suppose you get this a lot, as most of us readers didn't consider it wasn't just a The Thing crossover.

Needless to say, I was wrong. Keeping myself open-minded, I managed to enjoy every bit of the story, and the unpredictability of it all made it much more interesting to me. You did a great job portraying the reactions and emotions of the characters, and that along with all the situations made up for some really emotional/shocking moments.

I loved the whole story, and the last chapters left me with so much think, you came up with a really interesting setup greatly open for debate and theories, but most importantly, you stayed true to the theme, while keeping in mind this is an MLP story. The ending was actually satisfying, which I did not expect.
It sure was a long crazy ride, but it was definitely worth it.

Cripes, why doesn't this have more views? This story has been a favorite of mine since I started reading it on gdocs almost a year ago.

By the way, it seems like you dipped into a lot of H.P. Lovecraft alongside John Carpenter's work when you made this. Was that intentional? Loved it, either way. I've been thinking about starting up a series of one-shot crossovers with Lovecraft short stories.

2398441

Perhaps there just aren't many Carpenter aficionados on this site. I thank you for your continued patronage all the same!

Indeed it was. The third film featured in this crossover story, Carpenter's In The Mouth of Madness, is a hardcore love letter to Lovecraft. So naturally it would spill over here as well.

2399250
That makes sense. Well, time for me to poke around the rest of your work. Fantastic job, once again.

2770805

As well you should.

In the event of speaker failure, you can also replicate the theme by holding a long rubber band next to your ear and twanging it appropriately.

Oh this is what I think it is (the thing)