- Member Since 26th Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Yesterday
Twi-Fi
“You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.” George Bernard Shaw
Twi-Fi
Joined 26th Jan, 2014 ·
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Wow let me tell you that, that build up was simply amazing. Rely well phased and rather egghead'y (i mean it i feel like rainbow
)
Now on to the clopy bits.
BEST. LINE. EVER. i just stooped reading at tat point to laugh a little.
Looking forward to see what you do to this story man good luck.
~Tobben
Eh. It was alright
Pretty standard "Characters were already crushing on each other" style ship, but having some conflict in there helped to freshen it up a bit.
The clop was decent; nice build up, but still room for improvement
I assume the 'Incomplete' tag means there'll be a second chapter where we get to see Dash's plan for helping Twi
Also of note, you used 'site' twice when you meant 'sight'
This is a website, a sight is what you see with your eyes
no bad.... i like it
4550584 Oops, no this is a one shot.
4550399 There's lots of astronomy babble that only our adorkable Twilight knows.
4551282 Wouldn't this be incorrect, then:
You'd be looking at the star and signs of transit of a satellite, not redshift and blueshift. That's to see if it'c coming towards you (Blue) or getting further away from you (red)
I know this because it came up on my Astronomy GCSE paper
Also, I really should have read this before I went into it. It has SO MANY KEY POINTS that I completely forget, and came flooding back to me whilst reading. Literally, half the time I was reading, I kept thinking "I remember this!"
Okay... I don't read a lot of Mature rated stories with the sex tag. I read this one because you were so excited about it and I love your writing. This... this was nice. Even the sex didn't feel like meaningless perversion. It was a wonderful love scene between two ponies that loved each other. This was wonderfully done and it is one of my favorite ships. Two thousand points for getting me to enjoy a sex scene about colorful cartoon horses, Kudos to Twi for seduction by starlight, kudos to Dashie for reading secret romance novels... alone... in the dark.
I can tell this story is masterfully planned. There's many reoccuring elements and I loved it.
One note on the grammar, use more commas between participial phrases.
and those people who say "I don't read a lot of this, but when I do,.." are making up flippant excuses. Carpe diem!
Great Story, noticed a few grammar issues, but I dont really care about them when a story is this amazing.
42/21 MUFFINS
4551919 Signs of transit is a way to detect planet but I was loosely referring to Radial velocity. As a planet orbits its star it causes the star to move causing a Doppler effect (red/blue shift) which can be measured to detect a planet. Although I seriously doubt this can be done with a reflector telescope
I'm glad someone appreciate the astronomy part of it 
4553815 I need to touch up on my grammar a bit, it's tricky to write present tense but I'm glad you liked it.
4553877 Liked it?
I FRIGGIN LOVED IT!
Buh? Simple? Measuring distance is super hard, astronomically speaking. It's why astronomers have to use Gamma Bursts and Variable Stars as "standard candles" to get the estimates.
Not to mention light can be slowed by gravity and medium of transit. 300k kps is the speed of light in vacuum.
Edit: okay, forgot about parallax but that's still only really good for nearby stars.
4554020 Twi is using parallax. Far less accurate and not really practical for stars but she doesn't have very fancy equipment.
Yeah I'm still debating if making that distinction is necessary for what she is trying to describe.
Oh well, I knew I'd get called out on some of the science. It's been years since I've been in a astronomy class.
4551282 What? The astronomy babble was the best part!
I DEMAND that you make CHAPTER 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and so on
It's way to good and has way to much potential to end here
4559473 Realistically it would be another sex scene
I pretty much wrapped up the story, there's nothing more to really go off of. There will be plenty more journal entries from Twi though. 
Lol, I Now that I think about it, you're right twi-fi, really thats all it would be
Oh well, keep up with the journal entries from twilight, they're pretty good
I like it,I didnt clop(Im not one to clop)But I do read these stories when I get bored,i really hope to see more.Perfect build up to the sex scene,the lines were thought out,everything was great
4550399
Wow some one disliked your nice comment...
But I totally agree.
Yeah! Yeah, Twilight! Yeah, SCIENCE!
I liked the story. I beloved I. The romance, and the plot was good. I hope you make more chapters
And this line:
has to be one of the best lines I've ever seen in one of these kinds of stories. Keep up the good work in writing stories, mate!
Oh, and the part about how romance novels (romance fanfictions count too, right?) are pretty much "how-to" guides, is TOTALLY true.
Awww. You write the most adorable stories.
You brought this upon yourself!
You reminded me of this story with that line.
I couldn't help but imagine Spike's reaction during the sex scene. The mental image of him clutching his blanket with a freaked-out expression on his face made me chuckle.
I'm not a very good person.
4554065
Sorry, old post, I know. But yeah, parallax is fine for measuring the distance to nearby stars, but you take the measurements on opposite sides of your planet's orbit, not on opposite sides of town.
Despite my hate of TwiDash, this is actually really good. Nice work, hope to read more of it.
I always find it weird that people (well, ponies in this instance) have no clue what a spectrometer does. And a thought occurs to me... am I weird?
At first I was like - don't you need to be rather closer to the object you're trying to analyse with that? But then I realized I was thinking of a mass spectrometer. Shouldn't she have said spectroscope?
... that doesn't really help, does it? The last two chapters, maybe, but the last page? I mean, it's Pony!Indy, of course it's going to turn out fine.
Heh. That's a powerful realization. I mean, not that she's stupid - she's not, she's as much a prodigy in flying, though she often doesn't realise exactly how much knowledge she's had to cram into that pretty head of hers to be this awesome about it... She makes it seem effortless, but flight is by no means simple, and stunt flying is exponentially more difficult - and she pulls it off without breaking a sweat.
But no, it's more like that realization that your 7th-grade physics teacher is probably way more interesting and knows way more good shit than you've ever given her credit for - you just were too damn limited in your own simple way of thinking to ever notice it.
I mean, my first HS physics teacher introduced me to the open physics lectures at the local U - I had no idea it was even a thing, and that simple tidbit opened my eyes to just how much more there was to her beyond the simple "being a teacher" thing. She even covered for me some whenever one of those lectures would interfere with a schoolday. She was one of the few teachers I've met in my life that were awesome, and helped me see teachers as people - with genuine interests and lives.
...
that thought isthose thoughts are so Twilight I can barely believe I've only just read that. Or, rather, that I've never read anything like it before.Also - xylene, xylene... sounds familiar... *does a quick Wiki-walk* Hey, now I know what PET looks like!
Huh... Actually kinda simple, really...
Yeah, that's my take-away from TwiDash clop.
The setting of this story and it being TwiDash warms my heart up so much. I love their relationship and them being under the stars.