Twilight has thought of Rainbow Dash as more than a friend for quite some time now. Noticing how affectionate her friend has become towards her as well, she finally works up enough courage to admit these feelings. The only problem is that she and her friends are currently in the Crystal Empire, fully engaged with one of the largest events in Equestria, the Equestria Games. This, of course, presents plenty of obstacles for the princess, along with a problem which could completely ruin her chances and make her attempts utterly useless.
Proofread by: ConEditor (If Con or I missed anything, don't be afraid to point it out. I'll gladly fix it)
Cover Art: True Friends by AeliosZero
Chapters (8)
while i felt that the whole thing (especially the betrayal/mistake/heartbreak part) resolved themselves way to fast, it was a nice read.
Dialog feels a bit wooden and robotic.
As in your characters may in fact be wooden robots.
As in robots made of wood.
But other than that.
Good shit.
So I know this may seem strange, but baloney is actually spelled bologna. Besides that am enjoying your story thus far
4393818
Thanks, I didn't catch that. I'll fix it
Why can't I give it multiple thumbs!?!
Great story, I loved the ending and it was a great idea for the setting.
Keep up the good work man!
I don't like that ship either, no worries!
AWWWW WHYYYYY? darn twilight.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I wanted so bad for Twilight to be angry at Dash. I wanted her to not forgive her right away. It was still good, and it even had a happy ending, but I guess I really just wanted a sad fic.
best ending ever
I think it's meant to be 'A' instead of 'I'.
'I' should be 'A'.
The word 'it' should be present after the word 'made'.
'I' should be 'I've'.
That is all. I just quickly reread this before I went to sleep.
As amazing as this was I feel like twilight let rainbow off way too easily with what happened. I think I was expecting more an argument. But I did like the way dash explained herself and for her actions. Seems very realistic and plausible both for real life and for her actual character
I'm sorry, but I can't finish this. The inconsistencies in these last two chapters are far too jarring.
Chapter five ended with Rainbow ditching Soarin' and purchasing Twilight a book. This act made it fairly clear that she had chosen Twilight over Soarin'. I would have expected Rainbow to seek out Twilight immediately, but I can understand if you really wanted things to take place after the Games. However it starts becoming jarring when she lets Soarin' kiss her. Up to that point it appeared like she was about to explain to him her situation - reconcile things with him before she sought out Twilight. What confused me even more was the fact she chose Soarin', when it had been fairly clear that she'd already reconsidered.
And then there's Twilight's reaction. Sure it is mature of her to accept Rainbow's choice, and one could even say it would be a sign of true love, but it makes no sense. Given all the mixed signals Rainbow had been giving her, there's no way she'd have been able to reconcile things that quickly. She'd simply be too emotional - anyone would be. Now whether she'd be angry is another question (one I would personally answer with a resounding yes), but I simply don't believe she'd be able to move past things that swiftly.
Everything leading up to this was great, if a little short.
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Yes, I just did that. Those "Hang in There" cat posters.
No comments? Well, I guess this chapter was pretty uneventful. I'm still enjoying this anyways.
I like it when people don't make Soarin a foalnapper and rapist. When they do, I feel like printing a picture of him and taking my machete to it.
Such adorableness. I-I think I'm gonna-I'm gonna sneeze! Nooooooo! It's too mucb!
Oh god, you know when Cadence appears in a romance story, she’s gonna play a part in it...
Not sure what happened there but the first time in that sentence you used the correct form of complemented for this statement and then for the second use you switched to the incorrect form of the word. I see the wrong complement/compliment being used a lot in the fics I read but situations like this always confuse me when you showed you clearly know the right one to use and then did it wrong just a moment later. Anyway, I really enjoyed this story on the first read through and the second is proving to be just as good.
No comments from other readers?
Oh, well...great story! Loving it!
That was quick, but well written.
Ah, the cuteness is overpowering.
Well, he got his pie, so no worry.
I like this.
