"Take it easy; drift through life!"
Rainbow Dash’s life has mainly been about two things: Wonderbolts and her friends.
But in the end, we all need to grow up, to take choices that you normally wouldn’t consider.
At the Grand Galloping Gala, Dash gets her chance to fulfill her dream. But there is something else that keeps her from having fun; a brooch received a few days before lingers in her mind. The sender seems to know her more than she is comfortable with, and Twilight seems to be upset about something; something Dash quite can’t figure out.
Being a Wonderbolt has always been Dash’s dream, but will it make her happy? Or will somepony else become what is most important in her life?
Chapters (5)
Alright!
With me on this fic I have.
Commisionermuffin
Aridifolia
Ahalfbronyfromitaly
And Slashawar as pre-readers and editors, big thanks to them.
I'm trying a new style of writing, so please, leave a comment.
I hope you enjoy.
Cheers!
Oh yeah, it has begun! Well, you already read my opinion so now let's see what anyone else thinks
Very nice! Looking forward to more!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24899208.jpg
VERY well-detailed! Not too much, not too little, and enough to paint a picture in my head. I like that!
Not sure if there's anything in this story I really disagree with.
Well done!
ic2.pbase.com/o4/97/388497/1/64021719.CHPTbjAb.applause.gif
Argh! Poor Twilight, first chapter and already in the friendzone.
Can't wait to see where you're going with the brooch, could this be another future Twilight ? Could be cool
So can we have another chapter, please ?
Cédric
I'm interested...
Keep it up!
Twilight isn't just in the friend zone! She is in the sibling zone!
I really enjoyed the first chapter and I am looking forward to more.
I was going to write asking if you would like my services as an editor, but I see you have a team.
Oooowwwww... That drop, not into the friendzone, but the SIBLING zone, was almost painful to read. Poor, poor Twilight.
Nice story you got here, but it could be better. I've been spotting a ton of amateurish grammar mistakes. No big deal though, I was able to ignore them and focus on the story. I recommend getting a prereader or editor to comb through your chapters before publications.
Good luck!
Interesting so far......... Must make more chapters!
1430376
Are you that bored waiting on 'The Rope'?
1432020
Oh yes, you have no idea how bored I am.
1433030
Also why hasn't his been posted yet?
Like a sister? Ouch, gotta hurt twi *mentally hugs twilight*
SIR THIS IS AN ORDER
YOU WILL GO ON PAYED LEAVE
YOU WILL USE ALL OF THE CASH IN YOU HAVE TO PURCHASE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
LAYS POTATO CHIPS
1L MOUNTAIN DEW BOTTLES
THEN YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR DAYS FINISHING THIS STORY YOU GOT THAT!?
IF YOU DO : $1000 WILL BE SENT TO YOU VIA GOD
IF YOU DONTdata.whicdn.com/images/33995163/funny-gifs-the-anger-of-the-queen_large.gif
Nice. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Last I checked, emerlards were green, and only green
Poor Twilight, getting sister-zoned must be as bad as being brother-zoned.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/mlfw4496-BVqwB.gif?1342342614
poor twi the sound of her heart breaking must of been loud
good story will be good to see were this goes
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/23042614.jpg
Anyway, tracking this.
Looking good. Two things I did notice, though:
> Dash sighed as she looked in the mirror, what she saw just didn’t feel right.
This is a runon sentence.
> “Fluttershy sat down next to Dash, but moved as Twilight politely asked her to shift over.”
Why is this in quotes?
1527194 The quotation part should not have been there.
Was something I put in as maybe an alternate sentence there when I went over this fic, and for some reason it followed the upload. 
Runon sentence, would you mind elaborate?
And glad you did enjoy it even with those 2 misshaps.
Cheers!
1527202
As far as this goes:
> Dash sighed as she looked in the mirror, what she saw just didn’t feel right.
It's really two separate sentences, separated by a comma. There should either be a connector word or phrase, or it should be separated as two sentences. The easiest change would be:
Dash sighed as she looked into the mirror. What she saw just didn't feel right.
or maybe:
As she looked into the mirror, Dash sighed. What she saw just didn't feel right.
Though you could do something like:
Dash sighed as she looked into the mirror, as what she saw simply didn't feel right.
Though that feels a little repetitive with 'as' twice. Or it could even go this way:
As she looked into the mirror, Dash sighed, her reflection simply not feeling right to her.
I'd go on, but I'm sure you've got the idea. I get rather carried away occasionally.
Error in the description?
1555424 I don't see it, that's in the synopsis?
1555437 Yes. Beginning of the 3rd paragraph.
1555442 Weird, it does not show for me.
Here's how it shows for me.
1555452 ...Wondebolts. It's Wonderbolts.
1555460 Bloody hell, I feel dumb for not seeing that. I got hung up at the fact that I didn't see the word chance on my screen.
Thanks for pointing it out though.
Cheers!
1555469 Oh. Sorry for putting that in there. I didn't copy/paste it, I just did it based on memory.
That took me long enough, didn't it?
I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and as always,comments are highly encouraged.
Cheers!
Well, this was an interesting chapter, plenty of mysteries raised, makes me eager for the next chapter.
Since there's no sad tag I have still hope for Twi :3
I see Strangelove finally let this one out...
Pretty good overall but I have some things to say...
This sounds like a thought but is viewed as Dash talking to herself.
Twilight seems a bit out of character with the meekness she is showing but I can understand from her viewpoint.
I love how you wrote Spitfire but Soarin seemed a bit pathetic.
Also, it seems the Mundus came out of left field. I kind of intrigued about how that's gonna work
Keep at it!
Okai
For the moment I like it, I'm hoping for Twi and Dash going to be together, but when I looking at the groups where the fic belong to, I feel save.
So keep up the good work
Cédric
An... interesting twist.
Though if RD ditches Twilight for Soarin, there WILL BE BLOOD!
ahh were getting something involving from this the ponyfic critic is on the case
Wow, the Mundus sounds awesome, if Celestia brought RD here, it must be important! Is a thread close to being severed?
>prolly
Well I suspect I'm going'ta have to reread the chapters after the next one. Underlying themes and all that.
...probably
The whole bit with the balcony is sure to have some meaning coming up
familiarity trigger
God Dash, she basically told you she loved you with that thing she said about two ponies dancing together.
how stupid can you be.
Wasn't expecting any mysterious 'Mundus' in this story; I'll wait until the next chapter before deciding whether or not its addition was a good thing or not, but I'm still liking this story so far.
So I'm Soarin fan and I love him when he's with Dash. I fear that's not going to be the final result of this, but I can hope.
Anyways... other then Twilight being full on OC (which you address a little bit) its turning out pretty well. I did enjoy Soarin... I've always imagined him as being a giant awkward goofball. Your rendition made him a bit more of plot device then an actual character, because I feel as if you were going with socially awkward, but you didn't hit it at all. Nevertheless, he was kind of entertaining to read about.
This is interesting.......
Good, very good, not what I expected. So congrats! I'm featuring you on my page! (That sounded a lot better in my head)
i didnt get the part with the dude who was all like 'lass'..... what was celestia trying to showw her...no what was the lass dude trying to show her??
Soooo, she doesn't remember dream world stuff?
Now I am confused. It is going to be a TwiDash, a Soarin/Dash or a Soarin/dash who finish by a TwiDash's fics ?
Since I'm read only TwiDash fics, can you tell me what it will be because, for me, Soarin/Dash is a no-go.
If you don't want to answer on the comment for not spoilering your fics, please PM me with a answer.
For this chapter, the part with old element of harmonie was confusing but maybe with the 'lass' at every speaking time.
Otherwise a good chapter and Dash is a moron.
Thank in advance.
Cédric
Go over the first half of your story and check the paragraph indents, they're inconsistent as hell.
Great chapter, although I still stand by my opinion that Soarin is a bit pathetic in this fic.
Can't wait to see what is next!
So this chapter kind of confused me. Was the part in the pavillion with Soarin what Magic Scribe was showing Dash, or did he like erase her memories of the sanctuary and what she saw with Celestia before sending her back? I'm sure it'll be answered in a upcoming chapter, but the way it is presented here almost makes it feel like the first half of this chapter didn't even matter.
And poor Twilight, Rainbow is oblivious, and now after a Wonderbolt, how is a studious unicorn supposed to compete?
1876482 Every detail matters.
1875841 Thank you for pointing that out, I will edit that as soon as possible.
And I cannot believe this actually made it to the feature box, briefly, but it was there.
Cheers all you wonderful people!