Rainbow Dash, fast, cool, awesome. These words and more can be used the describe the pegasus mare. But when feeling begin bubbling to the surface, feelings that, if she lets out, could risk that which she holds dear, is she willing to try and get the reward?
Originally written as a short prompt for my other story, "Rainboom and Romance", it became much longer than I originally expected, so I decided to make it it's own story.
(Also, with this story I hit 10 stories released on the site)
Chapters (1)
good story, no errors popped out that I could see,
I like it too.
Pretty good story. A bit more telling versus showing than I would have liked, but it was enjoyable all the same. (I would explain that more, but I'm horrible at explaining writing mechanics. It's usually something I just know.)
Fluffy... And a good story. The regection that Rainbow was giving herself would most likely be what everypony would be thinking before asking somepony out, even worse for their friend. So I applaud you in that effort. The date itself was well planned out, and it flowed smoothly, not too much happening, but not too little as to make it boring. The after dinner walk and the stop at Twi's house was done well also. I don't really see any flaws in the story... other than one thing.
I caught quite a few errors in your grammar. Mostly just replacement words. Or in other words, a word that sounds the same, but is a completely different meaning. Also a few words not supposed to be there, and one or two spelling mistakes.
Alas, I quite enjoyed this little story.
I really like how you make things so... fluffy? I don't know if thats the right word, but nevertheless I really like your style of writing, I also really liked Twilight's Rainbow.
I really look forward to see more of TwiDash from you, especially an update on your Under Our Wing story, there's nothing better than TwiDash with Scoots in it
3281182
Yeah, I'm pretty bad when it comes to catching things like that. If I do end up writing an epilogue I'll go and do another edit before then.
3282860 Do you write off the site itself, or do you write and then transfer from Gdocs or some other writing program? If it is Gdocs I can probably go over it for you one or two times to catch what I can. If not I can PM you most if not all.
3282881
I use MS Word, so a PM with the mistakes you can see would be wonderful. And thanks.
3282897 Alright ^.^ Gimme... an hour - hour and a half.
gotta get a few things done.
A few errors that I caught.
valuable to her then how ponies saw her.
than
So he would rather you wait and see,
she (unless Twilight swapped genders)
If one were
thesee themto
These are just ones I happened to catch.
This was really cute. I like how Twilight gently admonished Rainbow Dash for lying to her. I hope there will be an epilogue.
you had better make at least another 4-5 chapters for there to be an epolog this is way to good to just end it like that your the best at writing realistic and heartwarming twidash and you have gained a follower and a cult of worshipers
"quant"
NOPE
It's "quaint"
ANYway, another gem. This is a fairly common topic, but charming nonetheless
I look forward to reading more of you.
Looks like Rainbow activated Rarity's trap card!
Nice, short, and sweet story
I guffawed
That was the perfect ending. Completely satisfying!
That was so gay
I love it <3
5724245
At the grossly?
Then did you crack up at the creepy?
With the former being before the ghostly?