- Member Since 22nd Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 3rd, 2014
Blunder Bro
I'm Blunder Bro. I like clopfics. Sometimes I write clopfics. That's about it.
Blunder Bro
Joined 22nd Nov, 2012 ·
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Nice :)
Very well done sir
I can agree with that.
1. you're not bad for starting out.
2. you can very easily wreck a '2nd person' story, but you didn't and it came out well.Good job.
3. Scootaloo is amazing.
AiE?
4440941
Short for Anonymous in Equestria, see here.
You sound like a HUGE loser.
4441245 Ah. Thanks!
I'm going to go ahead and add this to foalcon group.
Also, nice fic.
pretty good for a first fanfic! thank you for this story! until next time.... PEACEEEE!!!!
4441521 Thank you so much! I love being a loser, it's so much better than being an asshole.
4439077 Excellent criticism. Thanks a lot, it's much appreciated.
this was pretty good
Only the ones who can't be arsed to put the effort into actually naming, shaping and developing an actual character.
I haven't read the story, so I will not comment on the content or quality thereof directly. What I will say is this; If you want to be taken seriously as a writer. To make a name for yourself and have other writers use your works as an example to improve themselves you will never write an Anon fic again.
I hope you keep this in mind when you write another fic. Because then I may actually read the fic and have something to say about your writing.
4445474 I find second person stories to be fun to read and write. Not because I "can't be arsed to to put the effort into actually naming, shaping and developing an actual character", but because 'you', the narrator, could be anyone. The reason I like them isn't because I don't care, but I just don't know anything about you, but you know all about you! If done well, they SHOULDN'T have any character development, because it's not really possible.
Thank you for the criticism, but please don't have such a demeaning tone if you're going to judge other people's works. By saying that writing a second person story, you're insinuating that I just don't give a fuck, but that's not true, and that's incredibly rude to say. I put work into this, and I don't have to take that from you. We're equal, my friend. No need to have an attitude.
4439077 I think you have a spelling error regarding "shirt fur,"
Fixed. Thanks, I missed that one.
this was pretty awesome and sweet
4446083 Your profile picture makes that comment 100000x better holy shit
4445824
You miss understood.
I have no criticism of the Second Person Perspective of any fic that uses it. It is as legitimate as First or Third Person Perspective if executed correctly.
What I was criticizing was the use of 'Anonymous' as a name. That was where the issue was. If you don't want to give them a definite name then have the characters refer to them by a nickname. So long as it's more creative then 'Anon' then that is all that is needed.
4445824
And that, in fact, is exactly what's wrong with 2nd-person. You don't know anything about me, so you will inevitably wind up writing "me" as doing things that I know I would not, in fact, ever say or do, and it breaks the immersion of the story.
Which means that in the end, the story is going to feel hollow and empty no matter how much "lore" you put into it. Without any character growth or development -- without even having a character -- there's nothing to engage the reader or give them any reason to care about what happens to your anonymous 2nd-person phantom who glides through the story completely untouched, unaffected, and unchanged by any of the events.
2nd-person only works in role-playing games or "choose your own adventure"-type stories where "you", the reader, has some actual control over what "you", the anonymous 2nd-person character in the story, does next, which at least gives them some actual investment in the goings-on. For a fixed narrative, it's bollocks.
The principal problem with 2nd person narration is that the reader cannot be the narrator. The second person places the reader squarely within the confines of the story, but by nature a reader is an outsider to the story, observing it through the perspective of a narrator who is either a part of the story (1st person) or who is telling you of the experiences of others within the narrative. (3rd person)
While the problem of 2nd person narration is not insurmountable, it does tend to throw the pacing and direction of the story off, making it difficult for the reader to connect and feel comfortable with the characters.
4450029 I disagree. I've always seen second-person as a way to look through a character's eyes, not literally be the character. Character development can, in fact, take place, and it's often funny anyone should say that because the story often affects the reader as well. The reader actually learns lessons as they comb through the story, sometimes as much as the characters do.
4445474 I beg to differ. One of the best fanfictions I've ever read, and it happens to be AiE.
The story was pretty good. The clop was pretty hot. I might suggest spreading that backstory and those descriptions out throughout the story instead of lopping them all in the beginning, though. It does the job of establishing a connection with the characters, but it's kind of awkward.
4450569
Not really, no. First-person is seeing through the eyes of the character; second-person is an attempt to make the reader be the character. I have never yet read a 2nd-person story that wouldn't have been done far better if it had been written in a proper 1st- or 3rd-person perspective. It just doesn't work.
(At which point, you may fairly ask, why did I start reading this story if I'm so against 2nd-person? Mostly because I didn't know before I clicked on it that it was 2nd-person, as I wasn't familiar with the acronym "AiE". So at least I know to avoid that.
)
4455813 First-person is similar to a person telling you something. I did this, we did that. Do you imagine you are someone when they're telling you about something they did?
4447898 I'm normally not too into that either. In my many unpublished [and mostly unfunushed fics] that were similar to this one, I normally use pet names like 'baby', 'honey', 'sweetie', etc.
I'm not sure why exactly I wrote Anon in this one, I just felt it would be cool to try something different. Versatility is important as a writer, even if it falls flat on its face.
My apologies, I didn't mean to misinterpret your comment to be hostile, that was a mistake on my part. Sorry about that, bro.
4450029
Very good points you have here.
I guess I won't write a 2nd person story again. Seems I'm pissing off too many people by doing so.
4458451 It's cool. It can be a lot harder to understand people, and present a position, online since you can't hear their tone.
Really good story. Ever think of doing one for each cmc and mane 6? I'd like to read them if you do.
Like Scootsex, try my story Scoots and I
4445824 exactly!
I've published seven books, three of which were "anonymous" such as this one and my editor always yelled at me for it.(when I say publish, I mean hard cover paper books with leather covers and 100 chapters) he always told me I needed to develop a character
"good luck with that! It's an anon story!" I would always yell back at him.
Short and sweet! Nice!
You know, i had a lucid dream not long ago, and i was wondering if i should write it or not. This made my choice clear. Good story man! or woman, which ever one. i assume man considering the possition........ never mind.
missing the Original Character tag.
What is an AiE fic? First time running across this particular acronym.