I'm a fairly skilled hermetic wizard, and I could teach you the esoteric arts, if you can prove that you are worthy of my instruction.
I am the fastest pegasus in Equestria. I am a future wonderbolt. I am Rainbow Dash.
Or so I thought...
After the crash, I am not sure what I am anymore.
Cover art by 'Midnight Sonare'.
I am not good at writing, but I am trying. I have difficulty outside of my 'journal style' past tense format, and it isn't an easy thing for me to learn. Just bear with me as I try to write what I was essentially begged to work on even though I am not a good writer.
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is the rainbow pic you saw the one for the cover art, or is it another one? i'd love to see it, since you didn't explain what she looks like now. actually, we hardly got any sort of information at all.
4431062 I plan on that stuff later. And the cover art is just a placeholder until I get my cover art guy to make me some.
Cool cover pic!
4431070 sweet! and thanks for replying. i can't count how many times i've messaged an author about something like that, only to never get a response.
interesting
Way past awesome. I am so totally looking forward to more.
Let me guess...
Beep boop?
*post reading*
I was right... Beep boop...
CONTINUE!!!
Allright... time to do to all stories I like that aren't finished yet...
When will there be MORE?!!!!?!??!!!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?
Where is the existential crisis? You don't discover that you are an android without an existential crisis.
I like the concept. A few grammar errors, but nothing too major. Meh, like, fave, and moustache
4433015 There will be one.
4432729 When I feel like it.
It's like an x is a changeling fic, except with robots. Like Winds of Change, or Forever a Changeling.
Eh, I'm sure this'll be original.
Crush, kill, destroy, swag
4434133 Ehh not quite...
But thumbs up for the reference I guess...
4434133 "If we can't have the real Element of Loyalty, then building an Element of Loyalty is the next best thing!" Not the exact quote, but if one of the Princesses were involved in her construction...
4433015 Yeah, I was expecting more panic and possible, accidental lasers...
pew pew
4435399 As I said before, there will be.
4434932 I wouldn't do something that campy. I haven't yet decided who built her, but I have a few ideas.
Is this a robot Rainbow Dash story? Interesting, like and fav
4435455 The proper term would be Rainbot Dash, but yes.
I had inspiration to do something robotic and different, so yeah...
4435446 I don't want to pressure you but by the gods! This is awesome!!!
4435503 Ehh, like usual, I feel like I am polishing a turd, but that is just because I suffer from SSBTDH (Self-Standards Being Too Damn High).
4435509 well then find more of these turds!
So, was RD covered by a fake skin before the crash?
This feels quite a bit rushed and RD is (and arguably most of her friends, but I guess the argument could be made that they are putting on brave faces for RD's sake) just taking this far, far to well.
Still, a decent enough start and a decent enough premise, so I'm curious where you'll go with this.
4436119 Robotic ponies are the future!
i like not enough X is a robot fics on here
I feel that it leaves out a lot of explaining. First, what does she look like? Second, we could use with a lot more descriptions. Does she move quietly, or can the faintest sounds of gears turning or pistons expanding and contracting be heard? There is so much more that can be described, but isn't. All in all, a good fic and I'll keep an eye on it. I just want, and hope, it to be awesome!
This seems like the beginning of a good story, but you really need to describe things more. Tell us what Rainbow sees what she looks in the mirror! Torn skin exposing metal/wiring/whatever? Saying that she's a "robot" doesn't help the reader picture her physical state.
Don't rush the story! Only 1200 words in and Rainbow's already crashed, woken up in the hospital, everyone's discovered she's a robot, etc. I suggest spending more time on important scenes. When Rainbow saw herself, she thought it was a prank, quickly realized it wasn't, then she asked for her friends. She seemed to accept this almost immediately without any trouble. Give us some good character interactions! Out of the characters portrayed so far, Twilight seems the best. Dash seems almost...bored? It's really hard to tell. I hope you flesh out their characters more.
I do look forward to seeing more! There aren't many "character is actually a robot" stories aside from Sweetie Bot.
oOo... this is listed under scifi pony group... however tempted I am to read scifi ponies...
I am putting this in my read later list until it gets 25k words or more, or it is marked as complete, whichever comes first.
I do wish you a large reader base, I've just read too many incomplete that wont ever be finished.
Cheers
Well, so long you come up with a good reason for why this awesome turn of events happened, you got yourself a great story. Can't wait to see more Robo Dash.
Thumbing up.
4434067 Novel Tale, Bon Bon changeling
4433599 Not soon enough!
NEED NOW!!! I NEED MY TECH FIX!!! *twitch*
4437622 Agreed, seemed rushed...
Small spoiler, Chapter Two will be all about Rainbow learning about her robotic body. So yeah.
Noice
The dialogue feels a bit clunky, and I would like a bit more gratuitous description of R.D's new body. Because I want to read about it.
4438625
Basically the entire "x is a changeling" group (200+ stories), Applebloom: Transform and Roll Out! by Dusty the Royal Janitor, and every Sweetiebot story...
4440496 You mean every sweetiebot story that takes place in Equestria? There are a few where sweetiebot is just a personal assistance mech created by some human in their garage...
4440547
Fine, every Sweetiebot story where Sweetie Belle finds out she's a robot. (Like Steel Soul)
This idea, unfortunately, has been done so many times before.
4440556 Yeah...
BUT NOT WITH RAINBOW DASH!
On a completely unrelated note, I don't know why I made the title of this like it is... And I have the song Werewolves of Thunder stuck in my head now...
4440573
True...
But there's also Rainbow Dash is Iron Man!
4440688 Never read it, link me and I'll check it out, maybe I can rip o-I mean find some inspiration from it.
4440702
Here it is. and this one.
Also, versions with Twilight, and a version with Rarity.
Now here's Rainbow Dash as Superman, and one as Thor.
They're everywhere. Basically, search with the tilte word "iron", then put in the crossover tag. There are OCs, the real human one, prince Blueblood, etc.
Rainbow is taking this rather too well... If I had just discovered I was actually a robot, I would be incredibly traumatized.
heh I can alredy picture it
this statement is false
ummm im going to have to with false... its false right?
how can an artificial intelligence be unable to recognize a paradox?
maby its an artificall unintelligence
umm tahnks pi...
hey! not cool
This looks really good. I was wondering why she wasn't freaking out, I'm going to assume she's in shock.
Beginning is too rushed. But the story does intrigue me.
4433015
That will Probably come after the shock has worn off.
...Why would her 'robot abilities' suddenly appear after losing the disguise?
Why is Rainbow taking it so well?
How did this particular trick damage her disguise, when she's crashed so many times before and nothing happened?
Why were Applejack and Redheart the only two ponies in the room when she woke?
Beyond those, there are a few grammatical problems as well.
Overall, an interesting idea for a story, but I feel you should go over this again to correct mistakes and perhaps flesh out the plot more.