They said that he was gone. They said it was safe. They were wrong. Now, many ponies are taking prisoner by an evil captor, with a power stronger then ever seen. His plans for one of the captured ponies, Rainbow Dash, are evil. With his evil, torturing mind, he has found a way to create a commandable shell of a former pony, and his recent tests have come out with more power, the ability to make a super weapon, but it requires a certain pony. Rainbow Dash.
(Not extremely gorey, but I felt the tag was needed for this story.)
Chapters (13)
You should probably space the dialogue more appropriately or else it starts looking like a wall-o-text. Being a dark and gory story is fine, the foreshadowing for rainbow dash was a nice touch, and I hope that's it's either revealed through her escape or even on a dark note, if she is hypothetically broken by this dragon villain to reveal her as that super weapon. Lot's of potential here
2139309 Thanks for the advice, I'll definently try to space the text better, hopefully I can get two more chapters done tomorrow, after a nice swim in all the homework I have.
More!! Must read more!!!
I really love it!!
2147079 Thanks! It's great to see that my hard work is really for something, I'm trying to do two chapters a day, but I might not be able to manage with school, homework, YouTube, and trying to find a job. Also, if I stop posting entirely, then I am fixing my laptop, I had to restore the system yesterday and sometimes it won't turn on properly.
Shouldn't it be Vexon instead of Jade again.
2162119 I was so tired when I was writing out this chapter, and my laptop was constantly freezing. Thanks for pointing that out so I can fix it!
Yay me! And I think you mean single-hoofedly. Lol
Ah great story I love what you didi with my idea. The final fight scene was prefect and you satisfied my love of tragedy well done. Brohoof. /)
Until the End
That... Is one heck of a lot of bricks. It's brickopolis. Brick heaven. Brick mating season must be underway. 1 ton contains approximately 340 bricks... I dread to think how many 850,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons contain! Math commencing... 289,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (*34). Wow. You gotta feel sorry for Rainbow there. How is she still alive?
That was fairly abrupt. Get home from the hospital, be kind and offering blankets to the homeless, kill said homeless pony. Vicious, dude. Vicious.
:O
Soviet Malashenka(Dash) sat on her desk, thinking about what to do with this "Trivium", who had loved the Rainbow Dash from his dimension. "What to do with this one?" She asked herself, as she put a hand to her chin. "Hmmm, maybe, give him what he wants? Yes, that sounds appropriate, but which Rainbow Dash to give him too?" Then she got an idea, an awful idea, a wonderful, awful, idea. As she stuck up in finger, with an audible "Awww." Escaping her lips, and an evil grin formed on her face. "I think I'll give one of the Rainbow Factory directors a call."