(Original Idea by Darth Wedgius)
One day in mid-summer, Rainbow Dash decides to accompany Rarity to Canterlot for a small errand. They find things have changed in Canterlot since Twilight's coronation. During a stop to a bank, they encounter a group of diamond dogs. To protect her friend, Dash takes a stand...her last stand.
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Oh god wow. This, this is the reason that I follow you. Great job with this. I can't wait for you to write some more stories. I'll be looking forward to reading more from you in the future. Keep up the great writing!
Haha, I was waiting for someplace to write this. I also saw the thread with the idea, great story!
it wasn't bad, kind of trailed off at the end, but I don't see why it's getting so many dislikes
Not bad.....Not bad. Could do better though.
Pretty good read! It was a little rushed and the guards would have been there soon but it was okay!
I want more please write more!
Screw everyone that dislikes this. It's the views that matter matter.
A bit on the scary side, but very much in character: you know Dash would take on a whole kennel full of Diamond Dogs, and damn the consequences.
That said, it did end somewhat abruptly, but life, too, is like that now and then.
Oh, look, somebody's going through and thumbing down the comments.
You're accomplishing so much.
It's an interesting concept, but it did feel a bit rushed.
RD and Rarity were both in character, and you didn't make Rarity come off as too prissy or overly dramatic.
From what we've seen of DD's in canon they speak in broken Equestrian, yet you had them speaking fluently.
I'm not one to be anal about sticking to canon, just pondering why.
No spelling or grammatical errors jumped out at me.
Other than the slightly rushed feel, and the DD's speech patterns, I feel it was well-written.
Have a like.
2867940
Now that you mention it...I didn't even consider the Diamond Dogs' dialect. That's probably something that would have made it better.
Maybe at some point I'll come around and make that happen.
2868004
Hehe, Diamond Dog's dialect.
*cough*
Sorry, Dominic Deegan has me noticing alliteration more than usual...
Anyway, cool.
Glad to hear you're open to editing your own work.
I think the reason for the red thumbs is that people don't like pony deaths.
Especially not a pony as popular as RD.
2868037
I figured as much and I was expecting this actually. It's not that I enjoy writing death...I enjoy writing gripping moments. I could easily add an additional chapter where everything turned out all right, but happy endings, I feel, are easy ways to end a story.
Ah, you beat me to it! That's what I get for trying to get every scene just right before moving on to the next. Well, no reason why I can't finish my take on the idea.
For this one, it wasn't all that bad. I also feel like the ending was rushed forward, but it makes sense - you've been following Rainbow's point-of-view the entire time, so of course things will get frantic when she gets cut. The only other thing I can find issue with is that the story could use more detail throughout. I don't know if that's just my personal taste from reading Cold in Gardez most of the time, but I digress. Solid work and an entertaining read.
Now let's see if I can wrap up my version...
2870020
I'm interested to see how yours will be.
Yeah, if there's one thing I could say about my writing...is that I don't really get into much detail. It's partly because I'm used to screenwriting than actual storytelling...and partly because I'm impatient. I don't like to hang on one scene for too long. I like the feeling of a story being read in real time and flowing from one action to the next without too much emphasis on detail.
When it comes to a description of a particular area, I want my reader's to use their imagination as to what a place may look like...I give a general idea of what an area entails and have readers fill in the gaps...for the most part.
Anyways, I'm glad that it's received some positive feedback. I feared this kind of story would be shot down pretty quickly, because I don't like death as much as the next pony. I hope yours turns out much better than this attempt, because I don't want Darth Wedgius to be disappointed.
I like this story but I just think its a shame that you didn't add on future events like the diamond dogs trial or rainbows funeral or rarity feeling responsible, it could really strike up some crazy emotions with a bit more of an extended story
SO... BEAUTIFUL
reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/raining_david_tennant_nosedrip.gif
3373948
Thank you.
3373955 You're welcome. I want to cry, but the picture I posted made me laugh-SO HARD
SO..I'm crying and laughing and crying at the same time.
2869596 PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF EVERYTHING TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT OR NOT, JUST MORE...just more...*sniff* I gotta have more... I don't care if I have to write another story connected and a sequel, there needs to be more to this theme... and only you can do it! C'mon.... please?
3376670
Well, since you asked so nicely.
3377545 Ohhhhh thank you! Thank you ssoooo much! This is gonna be great....
3377613
I'll start working on it as soon as I can. I can't guarantee it'll be what you want, but I'll give it my best shot.
Good stuff.
3379080 it's been 53 weeks now... PLEASE
How dare you not finish this?! I'm bawling right now! I need to know if Dashie waifu is going to live!
MORE PLEASE!!!! I'm crying
Nooòòooooooooooooo this shouldn'tbe happening
But bring the next to me noooooow please
WHERE IS THE LAW ENFORCEMENT?!?!
Oh wait, I forgot. There's none. FUCKING PIECE OF-
Still, to be real, great writing! Would recommend a bit more grammar checks/ paragraph spacing/ etc., but other than that, it's a pretty good story. Sad to see it's unfinished, though.