Speed is not everything, and few ponies learn that like Lightning Dust has. She has many regrets, but she is a shining beacon for us all.
Just a short oneshot I just had to do. I had the idea and rolled with it.
I found the cover art on Google Images, don't hate.
Yikes. Very chilling story. I liked reading every moment of it.
4502290 Thanks. I was trying to make something that would target your feels; not by brute forcing sadness, but by subtly weaving it's way into your soul and catching it while it's back is turned.
I hope I achieved that desired effect...
4502308 i would say that you did a good job at that. . . And may I also mention that you have a way with words.
4502312 Well thank you for that confirmation on my goals. I may not be the most verbose person you will meet, but I have a reputation of drawing feelings in what could almost be considered 'manipulative' ways.
Once again I thank you for your time spent on reading my story, and I wish the best to you and your writing.
4502407 It was no problem. Thanks for taking the time to read mine as well. And, don't sell yourself short. You are a great writer. But, speaking of writing, I should get back to that. It seems I have more people expecting more chapters. Haha
Very well worded, but you might want to work on the formatting itself--you have at least one paragraph that's far longer than it should be, and some cases where you should have made a new sentence but instead kept the old one going.
Also, you missed an epic chance for a ponification pun in the police report.
All in all, I'd give it a 7/10. Some issues, but certainly worth the time to read.
4504342 Thanks for the feedback.
4506081 No problem, thanks for the response. It's annoying how rare they are. Especially when I go really in-depth in my analysis of their fic, I'm their only comment ever, and they don't even give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. Remind me never to be like that when I start getting my stories out there . . .
4506094 I always appreciate good feedback, and I have no problems telling people that I am glad for it.
Although if someone provides excessively bad feedback just to be an asshole, I have no problems picking apart their 'feedback' and making them look like an even bigger ass.
That got deep
4837122 It kinda did, but eh, it was a one-shot.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
4837230 Omg you should turn this into a full story
I would love to give some big in depth analysis, but I don't feel the need to. All I need to say is that I thought this fic was very well done. Have a favorite. Cheers
5294911 Thanks for the love and support. I noticed that my fics that are more sad or depressing tend to do better than my other fics; not that I have a problem with sad or depressing, as I love sad fics.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
I need to see the aftermath.