• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen April 23rd

Xx soul sorrow xX


I write for fun xX and rememger to smile :)

T

One day Fluttershy got up and realized she was an alicorn. She went on a quest to figure out the mystery, rescue her friend Cloudkicker and have some adventures along the way.

Edited by my other sister cassandra Oh yeah. rated teen in case you dont like a little bit of violence i suppose.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 31 )

Just reading the title and the description...

-dislike-

Stop what?

Who is her friend?

Why does her friend need to be saved?

Why did the bad guy get kidnapped?

Is her friend the bad guy?

UMMM... Yeah... What.... Is This... So much Improper grammmer... Mind CANT hanDLE IT.... GoInG to ezxpoldessssss XD

Yeah I did the improper grammer on purpose above BTW. But still... Instant dislike.

4436161

You should change your screen name to KaiDawn. That'd be hilarious.

Sorry, but really.

Alicorns OC or even changing a pony from the show into a alicorn....

N. O.

4436075
In this instance, the cover is a very good indication of the contents. Just reading your short bio, I can tell you that I wouldn't read any of your stories.

4436169

Too late, someone else already did it. Too bad for you.

*sighs*
Were to begin,I mean I know your probably thinking "oh alicornication is so lolz and aeesome sauce!!!!!1!!!!one!!" but get this RealityCheck did it better, his characters are more developed, his story makes sense and his fiction has always had brilliant grammar.

Your first chapter needs to be reworked from the ground up, I would suggest visiting Obsolence or Wander D to see if they can salvage it, after that if you produce any new chapters for this or other fiction, take them to someone who doesn't have the grammatical skill of a potato like Andrew Joshua talon or someone like that

Sincerely

Cataclysm

I'm depressed that you have more followers than me :raritydespair: Life is so unfair.

Faust damn, no offense, but this is one of the worst stories that I have read...

4436438 I never wanted to do it...

4436770 well i do have better stories than thiss :\\ :applejackunsure: :moustache:

hey Yeah guys BTW if you really didnt like this story (which i Know alot of ppl didn't :ajsleepy:)
you can always check out my stories. i hAVe my School of love series and my Fallout Equepstia story that's pretty good.

thanx :twistnerd:

4436075 Actually he judged by the cover of the book. (:rainbowlaugh: No offense, kidding!)

Anyway, um... This story... I don't... Uh... *Face explodes*

My ghost: Well, this story was... Um... Well... *My ghost face explodes*

The ghost of my ghost: I give up!

(That was a joke btw, I have nothing against you)

I'm just gonna be serious about this now.

First of all, in the entirety of MLP, Cloudkicker is never mentioned as Fluttershy's friend, unless you're going about with the headcannon of The Life and Times of a Winning Pony... (I don't know if they stop being friends, I never finished it :P)

Second of all, Bab's appearance was... Odd, to say the least... Maybe if you made it so Babs insulted Fluttershy, and then you said she was being a bully, but saying "Hi Fluttershy" Is not bullying, sorry :/

And another thing, the scene where Fluttershy shouted out for Cloudkicker. Fluttershy doesn't shout. End of story.

And the alicorn-hood... :facehoof: She wasn't surprised because she was used to surprises? Unfortunately, having a HORN isn't that small of a surprise!

Overall I give it... A negative number out of ten. -10/10

It could use a little work, but I enjoy reading AU scenarios where ponies are turned into alicorn. But not in Canon. That's why it's called Alternate Universe.

I hope you guys aren't srs, 100% sure this is a trollfic

4436900

We both know that's a filthy fucking lie.

hey guys dont's be posting any more rude comments anymore. :fluttershyouch:the borny communmity is about love and tolerate and we should not argue over didfferent things
(mainly pointed twards New Dawn and formerly Know as Q) :scootangel:

I don't mind the fact that Fluttershy is supposed to become Alicorn here so much there was no real depth or story to it.. And I have a bit of advice on making such stories like this. When you make stories that are going have a subject that every brody is divided on.... You got to write the kind of story where even the haters can find little to no fault. In other words it's gotta be a good read...::twilightsmile::yay:

heyso yknow buddies???? welk i kno ppl been sayin that cloudkcikers not evenb friends with fluttershy and fluttwrshy wont yell and stuff but this is alternat universe for a reason duh :PPP :rainbowwild:

4442719

the borny community is about loge and tolerarte

I would like to be introduced to this borny community.
Also, this story can be described by :ajbemused:

4527283 Oh sory its not 4 everypoony but i hope you dont mined :rainbowderp:

Ara

'm on the edge of my steat I wanna know that cee cee (that's my name for cloud kicker even thogh kicker is with a k) is ok or not :rainbowdetermined2:

I don't wanna be mean or anything, but please real more ACTUAL novels and don't write stories like you're writing and Internet post. Its not very professional yeah? :)
Needs improvement but nice try :o

Also why is everyone being so mean? Guys this is obviously a little kids work! She still has a long way to go!

Ara

I lied it and I liked the ending. Love every minute! I like the solid truths in the story too like how even if it's true love, it won't work out if the dude is ugly. Not enough stories on here have truths like that.

Login or register to comment