Fool's Diamond

by LK

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Mommy, what's wrong with that boy? The children point at Spike and say, inquisitive looks on their faces as they hold their mother's hands, walking along the shimmering streets of Canterlot. He holds his head in shame.

As a young boy, Spike was raised by Princess Celestia's servants, who were very nice, at least towards him. He always thought it was just because Celestia told them to take good care of him, and that they were only acting. Although he had close ties to Celestia, he barely ever saw her, and almost nobody knew of his connection to her. He would go to help Twilight in her studies every day and, while spending time with Twilight was his favorite part of the day, the walk to Twilight's home was ridden with anxiety and depression.

"Daddy, why does that kid have weird ears?" the parents of these children tell them to stop talking about it, or they didn't know the answers themselves. But a lot of the time, they reply with "It's because he's not human, just don't talk to him."

At these answers, Spike tries not to shed tears, he doesn't want seem weak. There are some occasions when he can't control himself, the tears stream down his face as he struggles not to show them, holding his head lower so he isn't seen. He is a bad child, there is nothing he is more certain of. The parents of the other kids don't want them to talk to him for this very reason. He isn't sure why he is bad, only that he is. Each march to Twilight's home becomes more devastating than the last.

"Spike, why are the books wet?" Twilight asks some days, Spike tries to assure her that it was raining outside, despite not being wet at all. Twilight doesn't bother, she only thought of her books at that age. Spike doesn't blame her, he likes his time spent with her, and he doesn't want to ruin it with his sorrow. He never tells Celestia, but he always thought she knew anyway, he is too afraid of what she would say if he is open about his problems. He wonders why he is treated so poorly by everyone in Canterlot, why he is a bad person.

It must have been a day in the summer, as the sun was shining bright and the few clouds in the sky only complemented it's beauty, Spike finally got an answer. He is making his walk to Twilight's home, the same walk he made every day since he was around ten years old. He lost track of the days, but it was well over two years now. The treks never got any easier. As he makes his way to his same destination for what feels like the millionth time, the children point, some teenagers laugh, and the parents avoid any contact with him whatsoever. It is a usual day, as far as Spike is concerned. Suddenly, he is on the ground. His face and chest hurt, and he rolls onto his back, groaning as he looks up. Some older boys had pushed him to the ground. They start kicking his sides and face. He tries to protect his face with his arms, luckily his skin is tougher than most. They laugh as they hurt him, they take the books he was carrying and tear them to pieces, throwing the remains across the street. The other people on the street either don't seem to notice or care, or just watch, unsure of what to do. None of them help. Finally the boys stop, several of them spit on him before leaving. He stays on the ground for a while, his body numb with pain in some places. Still nobody helps him. He thinks that if he tells any of this to Twilight or Celestia, or any of the servants, they might see him as an outcast too, and he might be abandoned.

He doesn't see Twilight that day. After he picks himself up, all he does is get as far away from the city as possible. He doesn't have any bruises or visible wounds. He assumes it's only because of how much of a freak he is. He doesn't know where he is, he only knows that he's far away from where he doesn't want to be. Spike looks around slowly, he's on the side of a road, one that nobody uses much anymore because pegasus flight is much faster than traveling by ground, and more efficient over long distances. There's nobody around, he seems like the only person in the world. There are two large plains that seem to extend forever into the horizon on either side of this road. He sits down on the side of the road, unsure of what else to do. He doesn't want to go back to Canterlot, he doesn't want to go back to anywhere.

"I wish I was dead." Spike clenches his fists, crying openly and curling up as he sits by the road. As he sits there, he ponders on never returning to Canterlot, and that he might be able to find a better place somewhere else. He suddenly feels something on his back. He remembers that one of the boys put something there as he was pushed down. Spike immediately tears it off his back and examines it. It's a large piece of paper, with nothing but a piece of tape and a huge word written crudely on it, as if the word itself was mocking him. "MONSTER".

"Monster..." Spike repeats, trying to comprehend the word in his head, questioning its very existence. After a few moments of thinking, his eyes grow wide and he feels his own hands, his ears, and his teeth. He notices how different they are from a normal person's, and realizes that this is why he was an outcast. It is because he is a monster.

"Monster." He scratches his skin harshly, trying to hurt himself. He cries more, but he isn't sad anymore, he's furious. He hates himself with such ferocity that he wants to erase himself from existence. He screams angrily, as loud as he can, wishing that something would come and end his worthless life. He doesn't want to go back to Canterlot because he wants to find another life anymore, he doesn't want to go back because he wants to let himself die. As his mind fights with itself on whether to go back or leave forever, he feels the day fading away ever so slowly. He doesn't have the courage to leave for good.

He takes a different route each day now, trying to avoid being seen by anyone as much as he can. He wants to fade from this world, unnoticed and alone. Twilight questions why he has been arriving later more often, he tells her that it's only because he's eating a bigger breakfast lately, so he needs more time to eat. Twilight questions this little, and returns to her studies as always. Even when Spike is with Twilight, he feels a deep sorrow in himself. When Twilight isn't making him do something, or whenever he has free time, he only has thoughts about how much of a horrible monster he is. He never seeks counseling, he doesn't want Twilight or Celestia to think that something is wrong with him. Oddly enough, although he wants nothing more than to not be alive, he still cares greatly about Twilight and Celestia's opinions about him. In a way, it is the only thing keeping him alive. He doesn't want the only people in the entire world who have ever cared about him to feel sad because of his actions.

Still, every day for Spike is wrought with depression. He is never physically abused again, but he knows what everyone else thinks about him. He feels guilty, just for being alive. This torturous way of living continued for another three or so years, until finally he got a letter from Celestia, informing Twilight that the two of them would be staying in Ponyville in order to supervise the Summer Sun Celebration. Spike was excited about something for the first time in ages, he was happy to be leaving Canterlot, if only for a short while. When they arrive there, he almost instantly notices that everyone is very friendly and nobody avoids his eyes when he looks at them. He feels like an average person for the first time in his entire life, and he absolutely loves this town. He even developed a crush on one of the residents, who seems to be one of his closest friends now, something he never would have dreamed of prior to coming here. Spike feels accepted in Ponyville, and after only one day there's no place he would rather be.

Even though Spike and Twilight were only assigned to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration, Princess Celestia decides that they would be better staying there permanently, and that Twilight will continue her studies from the town's library. Spike is ecstatic, he wants to stay here forever and never leave. He finally found a place where he can be treated as equal to everyone else.

Spike thinks that the best part about staying in Ponyville is the woman who resides in the Carousel Boutique. Her name is Rarity, and he almost instantly becomes infatuated with her stunning beauty. She is a bit taller than him, her skin as smooth as silk, her gorgeous figure is only complimented by her beautiful face. Rarity is truly the object of almost any man's desires, although she hasn't found any man who she wants to spend the rest of her life with. Spike works day and night to please her, his affection for her grew with every passing day, and he slowly forgets about his old life, the life of a freak living in a human world.

But still, every night Spike is haunted with nightmares of his past. He can never escape who he was always told he is, he still believes it himself. He sees himself as nothing but a monster, and he's always cautious about becoming close to others, for fear that he might hurt them later on. Even when he doesn't act like it, he still hates himself. He tries to hide it in front of the people he cares about, but he's not able to see himself as anything but an outcast or a monster. He has been living in Ponyville for a little over four years, and while now completely comfortable and happy with his life, he still wishes he could be a normal human being, he can never forget his past. Over time, this negative part of him grows, and lately his emotions have been thrown into turmoil. Being a monster has become the only way he can identify himself anymore.

Spike stands at the edge of the Everfree Forest. He stares at it for a long time with cold, almost dead eyes. He makes no physical movement whatsoever. He feels empty inside, unafraid of what lies ahead if he steps into the forest.

"That's the Everfree Forest Spike, only horrible things and monsters live there." He remembers Twilight telling him about the forest.

"This is where monsters belong." Spike walks slowly and calmly towards the forest. His previously empty emotions begin to fill with anger and hatred. He does not not hesitate or pause whatsoever as he makes his way inside. He is soon lost among the darkness of the trees.

To be continued...

Comments

[BloodShadow12]

Oh my God an update hooray

[LK]

3497372
I know! It's been so long, I've had to spend the last year or so trying to pay off medical bills while keeping up with school. Life isn't exactly amazing right now, but I'm glad I have recently gotten some free time so I can write creatively. I hope you like the story!

[Horrorshow]

Well I'll be damned... it is alive. Looking forward to more updates (^_^)

[DARKPHANTOM13]

3497401 It's good to have you back. It's has been a while. I can't wait to see what happens to Spike next.

[Ignaltus]

why did you post it?!! why?!!

[LK]

3497985
Are you implying that it's bad or that it made you sad? Either way, hope you'll keep reading! The next chapter will be out by this time next week, or maybe a little later.

[KARLOS1234IFY]

So much angst.
Kids can be so cruel.

[Ignaltus]

3497994
I will.

[DanvilleBengal]

Please tell me that Twilight and Celestia are finally able to see Spike's despair...please

[ZombieTwin]

This is awesome.

This is actually one of the first stories I got in to when I became a brony exactly one year ago. But I forgot the name of the story and haven't been able to find it. Until I stumbled upon it just now.

[element_of_miracle82]

please continue

[SilverShrapenal]

I love this story. I truly hope you continue with it!! I am so drawn in by the whole thing. The emotions, the character build, the plot. You have done amazingly with this so far. I am saving this one to read it when you make the next chapter.